you're not allowed to call and tell me that this place is shitty.
Room smell update: moving into a ferment kind of place.
Passport update: still mia!
Work update: remains untouched.
At odd moments, I'm starting to worry about being in Virginia for the summer. I had been thinking about it as though it would only be a few weeks, but actually: June 9-August 29. That is a long fucking time. Here are some issues of particular concern.
1. My employment situation is that I have resigned myself to doing absolutely anything, short of maybe contract killing and/or working for the Republican party. Isn't there some saying along the lines of, "The evil you know is better than the evil you don't know."? (Whoa, I know punctuation is supposed to go inside the quotation marks, but what to do in that instance?) Anyway, I am thinking that the evil I don't know is inherently better than the evil I know, as in, I cannot stomach another summer at Wolftrap. Not after I thought I was finally free! The greatest thing would be working at Jammin' Java, but I'm sure that's what all the kids want. I'll probably end up in some kind of corporate bullshit temp situation, where I will have to wear stupid clothes and fix my hair, and pretend like I love it. Taking the fucked up Borders 30-some page potential employee personality test forced me to confront the likely reality of this situation, and hooo boy. Worse still: what if I don't find a job at all? That basically can't even be considered as a possibility.
2. The main reason seems necessary to be in Nova because my mom has been possibly falling apart at the seams for a year or so now. Every time I talk to her on the phone she is like, "I'm so lonely. I wish you and your brother weren't so far away. I mean, I'm fine. It's great. I'm fine." But how will this actually play out at all? I think it could go a bad way with just the two of us living in the same house, but frankly I can't even imagine it. For years our dynamic has been so strangely courteous and not real. The closest we have to real is when she just gets drunk and says maybe I'm an alien child, then tries to give me money. Mostly the whole situation is just sort of depressing and stilted.
3. I don't really know anyone in Nova anymore. My high school friends will mostly be gone. And I am so used to just hanging out with non-stop homos all the time now. Maybe it will be good for me to re-integrate in the straight world, but I way want to find queer friends. I bet it will work out fine enough. This month alone, both Melissa Ferrick and Catie Curtis are playing in my very own hometown of Vienna, Va. I can only hope this means that Vienna has become the dyke hangout of the DC metro area now.
So, to reiterate: no job/shitty soulsucking job, questionable family situation, and only one person I know will even be in the whole fucking region. Actually, this could be great in a way. I could get a lot of reading done. And, um, "sort out my life." But lord, it is enough to give one the jitters.
Passport update: still mia!
Work update: remains untouched.
At odd moments, I'm starting to worry about being in Virginia for the summer. I had been thinking about it as though it would only be a few weeks, but actually: June 9-August 29. That is a long fucking time. Here are some issues of particular concern.
1. My employment situation is that I have resigned myself to doing absolutely anything, short of maybe contract killing and/or working for the Republican party. Isn't there some saying along the lines of, "The evil you know is better than the evil you don't know."? (Whoa, I know punctuation is supposed to go inside the quotation marks, but what to do in that instance?) Anyway, I am thinking that the evil I don't know is inherently better than the evil I know, as in, I cannot stomach another summer at Wolftrap. Not after I thought I was finally free! The greatest thing would be working at Jammin' Java, but I'm sure that's what all the kids want. I'll probably end up in some kind of corporate bullshit temp situation, where I will have to wear stupid clothes and fix my hair, and pretend like I love it. Taking the fucked up Borders 30-some page potential employee personality test forced me to confront the likely reality of this situation, and hooo boy. Worse still: what if I don't find a job at all? That basically can't even be considered as a possibility.
2. The main reason seems necessary to be in Nova because my mom has been possibly falling apart at the seams for a year or so now. Every time I talk to her on the phone she is like, "I'm so lonely. I wish you and your brother weren't so far away. I mean, I'm fine. It's great. I'm fine." But how will this actually play out at all? I think it could go a bad way with just the two of us living in the same house, but frankly I can't even imagine it. For years our dynamic has been so strangely courteous and not real. The closest we have to real is when she just gets drunk and says maybe I'm an alien child, then tries to give me money. Mostly the whole situation is just sort of depressing and stilted.
3. I don't really know anyone in Nova anymore. My high school friends will mostly be gone. And I am so used to just hanging out with non-stop homos all the time now. Maybe it will be good for me to re-integrate in the straight world, but I way want to find queer friends. I bet it will work out fine enough. This month alone, both Melissa Ferrick and Catie Curtis are playing in my very own hometown of Vienna, Va. I can only hope this means that Vienna has become the dyke hangout of the DC metro area now.
So, to reiterate: no job/shitty soulsucking job, questionable family situation, and only one person I know will even be in the whole fucking region. Actually, this could be great in a way. I could get a lot of reading done. And, um, "sort out my life." But lord, it is enough to give one the jitters.