The 26th Year
I am now 26 years old. I had a lovely birthday full of warm wishes via cards, text messages, calls, gifts, and even a bouquet from the company Tom was in CA to work with (not his company, but his customer!). I even got lots of birthday wishes in Animal Crossing, my video game. ;P I had chicken fried rice (with no onions) from Shanghai Inn for lunch - my favorite dish from my favorite Chinese place in Springfield. {Oh! Anna! I still would like those leftovers...I'm hoping to come in one day this week to help you and I can get them then. Or, you guys can eat them; I just don't want them to be thrown out.} I helped Anna with her house a little bit, and had dinner with Jen, Rog, their kids, Jen's folks, and my Mama. On Saturday, the day between my birthday and my little sister's, we had a pot-luck picnic in the park. The wind was cold, but people braved the day anyway, which was very sweet of them. I got lots of nice gifts and great hugs, and got to see a lot of faces that I really like having in my life. :)
I'm not one to dwell on age, but this birthday has gotten me a bit reflective. Where am I in my life, 26 years in? My prediction is that I'm only a little over a fourth of the way through. I made it through public school and college with flying colors. I have a degree. I've held 8 jobs over the course of the last 10 years. One of them has been a real "grown-up," salaried position. I've been promoted to the manager of my department. I've been unemployed for the first extended period of my life (since I was legal working age). I've bought a "crappy" car, and paid it off (thanks for the loan, Mom!). I've bought a "mid-level" car, and paid it off (thanks for the co-sign, Dad!). I've bought a "nice" car, and nearly paid it off (thanks for the teamwork, Tom!). I've gained and lost treasured animal companions. I've gained and lost friendships. I've found a wonderful partner who makes me happy, works with me, and balances me, and I married him. We've moved to a new city. We've moved home. We've bought a house. We're working on selling a house. I've watched my friends' children grow, and wanted some of my own, and been frightened of having my own.
The last 3 or 4 years of my life have been laced with a tense expectation. A feeling of tightness, of wanting to launch suddenly forward into the next section of life, but being held back. A feeling of being made to wait for the rest of the world to creep forward into the next phase. I've often felt like I wanted to scream from frustration. I wanted to race ahead, not wait for the universe's ponderous motions. But I've found that each time I do get to move forward, a new goal steps up, and I start chomping the bit again. There is still an expectancy in my life, but it has mellowed to look more like hope. It has been tempered with a deeper patience and understanding of the simple fact that sometimes, you just have to wait. Good things are worth waiting for, and if you look around, there are good things where you are, too.
Life is like a river. You're placed in a boat, and given an oar and a shove off. There are times you coast, times you paddle furiously, times you link up, raft-like, with others, and times you paddle alone. There are doldrums and rapids, lakes and waterfalls. There are forks where you choose a direction and bends that you can't see around. Currently, I'm in a calm stretch, and I'm trying to enjoy it instead of spending too much energy looking ahead. Our house selling will be the key event that launches us into the next flurry of activity, and I have no control over that, so I'm trying to enjoy the scenery and keep a slow steady pace with my paddle to avoid feeling too bored (or useless - a common pitfall for me). The next chapter is one I look forward to - it holds a new house, making it into a home, and then starting a family to fill it - but I know I cannot skip forward, so I'm trying to relax where I am.
Thank you to everyone who sent me happiness for my birthday. :)
I'm not one to dwell on age, but this birthday has gotten me a bit reflective. Where am I in my life, 26 years in? My prediction is that I'm only a little over a fourth of the way through. I made it through public school and college with flying colors. I have a degree. I've held 8 jobs over the course of the last 10 years. One of them has been a real "grown-up," salaried position. I've been promoted to the manager of my department. I've been unemployed for the first extended period of my life (since I was legal working age). I've bought a "crappy" car, and paid it off (thanks for the loan, Mom!). I've bought a "mid-level" car, and paid it off (thanks for the co-sign, Dad!). I've bought a "nice" car, and nearly paid it off (thanks for the teamwork, Tom!). I've gained and lost treasured animal companions. I've gained and lost friendships. I've found a wonderful partner who makes me happy, works with me, and balances me, and I married him. We've moved to a new city. We've moved home. We've bought a house. We're working on selling a house. I've watched my friends' children grow, and wanted some of my own, and been frightened of having my own.
The last 3 or 4 years of my life have been laced with a tense expectation. A feeling of tightness, of wanting to launch suddenly forward into the next section of life, but being held back. A feeling of being made to wait for the rest of the world to creep forward into the next phase. I've often felt like I wanted to scream from frustration. I wanted to race ahead, not wait for the universe's ponderous motions. But I've found that each time I do get to move forward, a new goal steps up, and I start chomping the bit again. There is still an expectancy in my life, but it has mellowed to look more like hope. It has been tempered with a deeper patience and understanding of the simple fact that sometimes, you just have to wait. Good things are worth waiting for, and if you look around, there are good things where you are, too.
Life is like a river. You're placed in a boat, and given an oar and a shove off. There are times you coast, times you paddle furiously, times you link up, raft-like, with others, and times you paddle alone. There are doldrums and rapids, lakes and waterfalls. There are forks where you choose a direction and bends that you can't see around. Currently, I'm in a calm stretch, and I'm trying to enjoy it instead of spending too much energy looking ahead. Our house selling will be the key event that launches us into the next flurry of activity, and I have no control over that, so I'm trying to enjoy the scenery and keep a slow steady pace with my paddle to avoid feeling too bored (or useless - a common pitfall for me). The next chapter is one I look forward to - it holds a new house, making it into a home, and then starting a family to fill it - but I know I cannot skip forward, so I'm trying to relax where I am.
Thank you to everyone who sent me happiness for my birthday. :)