Violation 0.30 - [Voice/Video/Diagrams!]
((ooc: backdated to yesterday morning, before people were kidnapped.
Also! This post is IC and unfortunately, very crass and rude. The post goes into puberty and sex in a very non-child friendly way. Please don't read it if you're easily offended. Also, please note that Goroh's opinions do not reflect the mun's. Goroh is a colossal douchebag that needs to be punched in the face.))
Sex. Let me tell you, kids. It's fucking awesome. You should have it and lots of it. Preferably within your own species, but that only applies when your partner doesn't have the same amount of limbs, eyes, or stomachs as you. 'course, that varies from person to person. Hell, I've experimented from time to time. Some of it took some medical intervention to fix, but damned it if ain't memorable.
Word has it that kids around here are a little ignorant on the whole sex thing. Or hell, don't even know what this whole puberty deal is all about. Your old pal Goroh here is going to help you out. So let's start with the ladies, yeah? We're gonna go with the standard human template, here. Sure, Takoraian puberty for females is interesting and involves some amounts of kinky cannibalism, but I don't exactly see any shiny red octopus people here. We'll file that one away for another time.
Now, little ladies around the age of ten, to thirteen, or so one are bound to notice some changes going on. Take the breast area, for instance. Once upon a time, you were as flat chested as the next bloke. But now you got these melons growing out of your chest. That? Perfectly natural, unless they exceed the size of your own head. Those would be your milk jugs. Or boobs, if you like. Other names exist, naturally, but this ain't a class on euphemisms. Hang around some of the less savory boys at school and you'll be sure to get a good idea of what else they're called. Classic usage of the breasts are for the sake of sex-starved guys without any handy porn nearby. If you like, you can show it off for all to see. 'course, there technical use is to create milk for newborn infants. But we'll get to that part later.
[Here, have a crude drawing of some breasts, increasing in size.]
Then you've got the vagina. Many words exist for it, but here we're going to call it the Fun Zone. Sure, right now? It's for pissing purposes. But just you wait. All kinds of interesting things happen there. Stuff will go in, stuff will go out. You might as well refer to it as the hangar of a space ship for as much action as it's gonna get. Unluckily, you ladies get the short end of things, thanks to a little thing called the menstruation period. That'd be the blood leaking out of you. Lovely thought, isn't it? Good thing the Mallies provide you with some nice options at Ye Olde General Store. You got your pads, tampons, and other shit all for the express purpose of soaking it up so you don't go making a nasty mess in public. Fun stuff.
[Is that a disturbingly accurate drawing of the reproductive organs? You bet your ass it is.]
We'll get back to you ladies, let's go over to the guys. If that bit about the breasts gave you a little stiffness down south and the bit about the blood took it away, then consider yourself past puberty. Unless you're gay, but that ain't today's topic. One of the signs of puberty, besides that flagpole that shows up in your pants at so much as a thought of a pretty lady, is the fact you got hair growing everywhere. Your arms, your legs, your chin, even around the previously mentioned Old Glory. That's the penis, for you people at home keeping score. The hair's normal. In fact, downright manly. Maybe you don't have it. In that case, you're probably one of those blokes who get mistaken for women around here. If that's the case, sorry about your luck. The genetic lottery didn't smile on you.
[Look! It's a picture of a penis. And it is happy to see you.]
Now, the penis. We'll call this the Happy Stick. Unlike the Fun Zone, it's pretty limited in uses. You've got your piss, then you've got the semen. Give it a good rub sometimes and see what comes out. Promise you it won't be a genie. However it will create some magical juice that, when put in the Fun Zone, is going to create a baby. One trick you'll be wanting to learn is how to prolong said rub down. This is a race you don't want to win with speed. It's all about stamina, kids. Make it last good and long. Sure, maybe yours is kind of small compared to a real man. But if you know how to work it right, that's one obstacle you can overcome.
[And here's another one! But with drawn on muscly arms. It has STAMINA.]
Now we get to the fun part. Sex. I've got a diagram for you.
[SUDDENLY DIAGRAM. Does it even need to be described?]
This is male on female sex. Of the human variety. It's only one kind, mind you. There's tons more. Don't be afraid to experiment with new and exciting methods. If you come up with something new, maybe they'll name the technique after you. Unfortunate the "Goroh Maneuver" isn't exactly the sort of thing for polite company. Now, as fun as this might all seem, there's some drawbacks. The worst of them all, is a baby. You don't want those. They represent all the mistakes you've made and will be a fiscal, emotional, physical, and mental drain on you in all ways. Think of it as the ultimate punishment for having a good time.
Then you've got your STDs. That stands for Sexually Transmitted Diseases. They come in all shapes and sizes. Some of them are viruses. Some of them are creatures. Some of them are metaphorically sentient energy beings who use sex as a way of getting free transport from planet to planet. The first two can be prevented! So can the babies. With protection. Guys, this is all on you. Let me show you a demonstration.
[Video now! Goroh stands back and holds up a banana.] This is your Happy Stick. [Now he holds up a curious rubber tube. Is it a balloon? Maybe, but he's not using it that way. He wraps it around the banana.] And this is your Armor Of Invincibility, otherwise known as a condom. Outdated by most means, but now your magic juice isn't going anywhere. Babies? STDs? Not on my watch.
[Back to voice.]
That's all for today, kids. Don't think that's all there is to it. But this'll get you started. Feel free to bring your questions here.
Also! This post is IC and unfortunately, very crass and rude. The post goes into puberty and sex in a very non-child friendly way. Please don't read it if you're easily offended. Also, please note that Goroh's opinions do not reflect the mun's. Goroh is a colossal douchebag that needs to be punched in the face.))
Sex. Let me tell you, kids. It's fucking awesome. You should have it and lots of it. Preferably within your own species, but that only applies when your partner doesn't have the same amount of limbs, eyes, or stomachs as you. 'course, that varies from person to person. Hell, I've experimented from time to time. Some of it took some medical intervention to fix, but damned it if ain't memorable.
Word has it that kids around here are a little ignorant on the whole sex thing. Or hell, don't even know what this whole puberty deal is all about. Your old pal Goroh here is going to help you out. So let's start with the ladies, yeah? We're gonna go with the standard human template, here. Sure, Takoraian puberty for females is interesting and involves some amounts of kinky cannibalism, but I don't exactly see any shiny red octopus people here. We'll file that one away for another time.
Now, little ladies around the age of ten, to thirteen, or so one are bound to notice some changes going on. Take the breast area, for instance. Once upon a time, you were as flat chested as the next bloke. But now you got these melons growing out of your chest. That? Perfectly natural, unless they exceed the size of your own head. Those would be your milk jugs. Or boobs, if you like. Other names exist, naturally, but this ain't a class on euphemisms. Hang around some of the less savory boys at school and you'll be sure to get a good idea of what else they're called. Classic usage of the breasts are for the sake of sex-starved guys without any handy porn nearby. If you like, you can show it off for all to see. 'course, there technical use is to create milk for newborn infants. But we'll get to that part later.
[Here, have a crude drawing of some breasts, increasing in size.]
Then you've got the vagina. Many words exist for it, but here we're going to call it the Fun Zone. Sure, right now? It's for pissing purposes. But just you wait. All kinds of interesting things happen there. Stuff will go in, stuff will go out. You might as well refer to it as the hangar of a space ship for as much action as it's gonna get. Unluckily, you ladies get the short end of things, thanks to a little thing called the menstruation period. That'd be the blood leaking out of you. Lovely thought, isn't it? Good thing the Mallies provide you with some nice options at Ye Olde General Store. You got your pads, tampons, and other shit all for the express purpose of soaking it up so you don't go making a nasty mess in public. Fun stuff.
[Is that a disturbingly accurate drawing of the reproductive organs? You bet your ass it is.]
We'll get back to you ladies, let's go over to the guys. If that bit about the breasts gave you a little stiffness down south and the bit about the blood took it away, then consider yourself past puberty. Unless you're gay, but that ain't today's topic. One of the signs of puberty, besides that flagpole that shows up in your pants at so much as a thought of a pretty lady, is the fact you got hair growing everywhere. Your arms, your legs, your chin, even around the previously mentioned Old Glory. That's the penis, for you people at home keeping score. The hair's normal. In fact, downright manly. Maybe you don't have it. In that case, you're probably one of those blokes who get mistaken for women around here. If that's the case, sorry about your luck. The genetic lottery didn't smile on you.
[Look! It's a picture of a penis. And it is happy to see you.]
Now, the penis. We'll call this the Happy Stick. Unlike the Fun Zone, it's pretty limited in uses. You've got your piss, then you've got the semen. Give it a good rub sometimes and see what comes out. Promise you it won't be a genie. However it will create some magical juice that, when put in the Fun Zone, is going to create a baby. One trick you'll be wanting to learn is how to prolong said rub down. This is a race you don't want to win with speed. It's all about stamina, kids. Make it last good and long. Sure, maybe yours is kind of small compared to a real man. But if you know how to work it right, that's one obstacle you can overcome.
[And here's another one! But with drawn on muscly arms. It has STAMINA.]
Now we get to the fun part. Sex. I've got a diagram for you.
[SUDDENLY DIAGRAM. Does it even need to be described?]
This is male on female sex. Of the human variety. It's only one kind, mind you. There's tons more. Don't be afraid to experiment with new and exciting methods. If you come up with something new, maybe they'll name the technique after you. Unfortunate the "Goroh Maneuver" isn't exactly the sort of thing for polite company. Now, as fun as this might all seem, there's some drawbacks. The worst of them all, is a baby. You don't want those. They represent all the mistakes you've made and will be a fiscal, emotional, physical, and mental drain on you in all ways. Think of it as the ultimate punishment for having a good time.
Then you've got your STDs. That stands for Sexually Transmitted Diseases. They come in all shapes and sizes. Some of them are viruses. Some of them are creatures. Some of them are metaphorically sentient energy beings who use sex as a way of getting free transport from planet to planet. The first two can be prevented! So can the babies. With protection. Guys, this is all on you. Let me show you a demonstration.
[Video now! Goroh stands back and holds up a banana.] This is your Happy Stick. [Now he holds up a curious rubber tube. Is it a balloon? Maybe, but he's not using it that way. He wraps it around the banana.] And this is your Armor Of Invincibility, otherwise known as a condom. Outdated by most means, but now your magic juice isn't going anywhere. Babies? STDs? Not on my watch.
[Back to voice.]
That's all for today, kids. Don't think that's all there is to it. But this'll get you started. Feel free to bring your questions here.