Son of a bitch I caved
I was always slightly proud of the fact that I never gave into smoking, drinking was evietable with my family, but smoking, I refused to touch.
Well thanks to those dick roommates I needed something to relax me and my usual methods were not working.
I don't know what possessed me to go out to the gas station and buy some cigarettes and a lighter, but I did, took my first puff on a cigarette in 19 years of being free of it. It did relax me I'll give it that, but other then that I hate it.
I've always hated cigarette, the smell, the coughing, the effects it will have on my lungs and heart.
But finally succumbing it, I fucking hate myself for it, but I hate my roommates more. If they weren't being such dicks, getting so fucking plastered last night that I had to lock them out, for I was embarrassed that we lived in the same household, but being BLAMED for there fucking shit-tactery last night is just like punching an innocent. I did NOTHING to influence them as they so claimed, I refused to drink because I don't want to, I have other things to do with my life then make an asshole of myself.
But I'm mostly ashamed with myself. After all the years of bitching to my mom to stop smoking, but to do it myself as soon as her back is turned...wow I feel like a dick. My first cigarette now, after years of bitching to my mom to quit...I'm mostly surprised that I didn't cough of choke on my first inhaltion, and for some twisted reason that also made me proud.
Well thanks to those dick roommates I needed something to relax me and my usual methods were not working.
I don't know what possessed me to go out to the gas station and buy some cigarettes and a lighter, but I did, took my first puff on a cigarette in 19 years of being free of it. It did relax me I'll give it that, but other then that I hate it.
I've always hated cigarette, the smell, the coughing, the effects it will have on my lungs and heart.
But finally succumbing it, I fucking hate myself for it, but I hate my roommates more. If they weren't being such dicks, getting so fucking plastered last night that I had to lock them out, for I was embarrassed that we lived in the same household, but being BLAMED for there fucking shit-tactery last night is just like punching an innocent. I did NOTHING to influence them as they so claimed, I refused to drink because I don't want to, I have other things to do with my life then make an asshole of myself.
But I'm mostly ashamed with myself. After all the years of bitching to my mom to stop smoking, but to do it myself as soon as her back is turned...wow I feel like a dick. My first cigarette now, after years of bitching to my mom to quit...I'm mostly surprised that I didn't cough of choke on my first inhaltion, and for some twisted reason that also made me proud.