Erruption of Hope
I hate saying goodbye. For anything.
It was hard, harder than it was when I left this summer, mostly because I don't know the next time I'll be back. I said goodbye to the general crowd of people, goodbyes that were full of awkward "when are you coming back?"s and "Well, I don't know, I have to do an internship this summer, breaks in Feb, blah blah blah.."s. After those I moved on to the harder goodbyes, the ones to the people I've grown the closest with. They're undoubtedly the reason why I will miss this job. They took what could have been a mindless and painstakingly boring job and turned it into something fun with laughter, jokes, stories, and other silly nonsense. And the best part, they included me in everything, just like I was a regular employee; The Christmas swap, the company parties, and even the gift giving. I came in one morning to find gift cards and home made goodies at my space. I had no idea that gifts were even given, but I was so thankful, it was nice feeling included.
I compared it like this tonight: I worked at Strobels for 21/2 years, pumping gas 6 days a week. In those 2.5 years, I never once even received a T-shirt or any other apparel that said the company name on it, while everyone else had them. Most times, I had to explain to people that I worked there. I've worked at Aris for a little under 4 months, and they gave me a fleece zipper vest with the logo/name stitched on it, and then they presented me with a polo shirt with the logo/name stitched on it and 2 nice company pens with the name on it. And they don't even know when or IF I'm coming back. But they gave these to me anyway. Its things like these that make me feel included, equal, loved.
Then, my partner in crime, Wendy, the one I worked side-by-side with all summer and most of this break, gave me a large Christmas bag filled with goodies to take back to school with me. I think it was the hardest to say goodbye to her, I could tell we were both on the verge of tears. She looked at me today and said, "I can't believe you're leaving, I'll never laugh as hard again.You brighten up my day."
It touched me, to know that I could provide happiness to someone, to make their day better. It saddened me all the same to know I was taking that away. I almost felt selfish in a way.
And of course, as soon as I was out the door, I started bawling my eyes out.
Something "strange" happened today, though. I was driving home, barely able to see the road through my tears/sobbing, when I looked up and saw this magnificent sunset unfolding in front of me. At the end of the roads rolling before me was an explosion of beauty, so intense it felt like a winter solstice fireworks extravaganza. The sky was coated with a turquoise base, accented with golden shades of peach and pink. Behind the frosted treeline in a ball of fury was the sun, surrounded by butterscotch rays and inflated clouds. And, spread throughout this natural focal point were small, shimmering jet streams. As the sunlight stretched across the horizon, it was interwoven with clouds so smooth, they appeared to be draped in velvet, and I longed to run my hands over them. As they floated above the world, I found it peculiar how similar they were to the earth, as if mimicking the rolling ivory hills that lay beneath them.
The arid, bitter cold over the past few days had cracked the earth and now, now it was bleeding happiness.
I could do nothing but stare in awe and admiration at what I was witnessing. Through all the drab and dreariness, this miracle had risen. A wave of security flooded over me, and suddenly for a brief moment, I knew things would be ok. The world was coated in innocence. All the pain, the heartache I was experiencing would dissolve into stability.
The sunset raged on, like a volcano errupting in one last cry of glory, swelling with pride at the site that was unfolding, work that was being painted upon the earth's canvas.
I smiled.
And, as I pulled off the exit and noticed the firery colors had been smothered, replaced by a dense cover of dreariness again, I locked away the happiness I had just been given, the ounce of strength injected into my veins. It was enough to carry on, to continue the journey. Although the blazing song was silenced, just a memory etched into the skies, it carries on inside of me, reminding me that hope can be found when you least expect it.
It was simply......beautiful. Nature is my muse.
Now, it's bed, back to school in the morning.
It was hard, harder than it was when I left this summer, mostly because I don't know the next time I'll be back. I said goodbye to the general crowd of people, goodbyes that were full of awkward "when are you coming back?"s and "Well, I don't know, I have to do an internship this summer, breaks in Feb, blah blah blah.."s. After those I moved on to the harder goodbyes, the ones to the people I've grown the closest with. They're undoubtedly the reason why I will miss this job. They took what could have been a mindless and painstakingly boring job and turned it into something fun with laughter, jokes, stories, and other silly nonsense. And the best part, they included me in everything, just like I was a regular employee; The Christmas swap, the company parties, and even the gift giving. I came in one morning to find gift cards and home made goodies at my space. I had no idea that gifts were even given, but I was so thankful, it was nice feeling included.
I compared it like this tonight: I worked at Strobels for 21/2 years, pumping gas 6 days a week. In those 2.5 years, I never once even received a T-shirt or any other apparel that said the company name on it, while everyone else had them. Most times, I had to explain to people that I worked there. I've worked at Aris for a little under 4 months, and they gave me a fleece zipper vest with the logo/name stitched on it, and then they presented me with a polo shirt with the logo/name stitched on it and 2 nice company pens with the name on it. And they don't even know when or IF I'm coming back. But they gave these to me anyway. Its things like these that make me feel included, equal, loved.
Then, my partner in crime, Wendy, the one I worked side-by-side with all summer and most of this break, gave me a large Christmas bag filled with goodies to take back to school with me. I think it was the hardest to say goodbye to her, I could tell we were both on the verge of tears. She looked at me today and said, "I can't believe you're leaving, I'll never laugh as hard again.You brighten up my day."
It touched me, to know that I could provide happiness to someone, to make their day better. It saddened me all the same to know I was taking that away. I almost felt selfish in a way.
And of course, as soon as I was out the door, I started bawling my eyes out.
Something "strange" happened today, though. I was driving home, barely able to see the road through my tears/sobbing, when I looked up and saw this magnificent sunset unfolding in front of me. At the end of the roads rolling before me was an explosion of beauty, so intense it felt like a winter solstice fireworks extravaganza. The sky was coated with a turquoise base, accented with golden shades of peach and pink. Behind the frosted treeline in a ball of fury was the sun, surrounded by butterscotch rays and inflated clouds. And, spread throughout this natural focal point were small, shimmering jet streams. As the sunlight stretched across the horizon, it was interwoven with clouds so smooth, they appeared to be draped in velvet, and I longed to run my hands over them. As they floated above the world, I found it peculiar how similar they were to the earth, as if mimicking the rolling ivory hills that lay beneath them.
The arid, bitter cold over the past few days had cracked the earth and now, now it was bleeding happiness.
I could do nothing but stare in awe and admiration at what I was witnessing. Through all the drab and dreariness, this miracle had risen. A wave of security flooded over me, and suddenly for a brief moment, I knew things would be ok. The world was coated in innocence. All the pain, the heartache I was experiencing would dissolve into stability.
The sunset raged on, like a volcano errupting in one last cry of glory, swelling with pride at the site that was unfolding, work that was being painted upon the earth's canvas.
I smiled.
And, as I pulled off the exit and noticed the firery colors had been smothered, replaced by a dense cover of dreariness again, I locked away the happiness I had just been given, the ounce of strength injected into my veins. It was enough to carry on, to continue the journey. Although the blazing song was silenced, just a memory etched into the skies, it carries on inside of me, reminding me that hope can be found when you least expect it.
It was simply......beautiful. Nature is my muse.
Now, it's bed, back to school in the morning.