Just a Kiss, Chapters 2-3
Title: Just a Kiss
Fandom : Moonlight
Characters : Mick, Beth, Josef, Simone
Rating : R, for some sexual content and strong language.
Spoilers: Post -"Sonata"
Summary: Eleventh in my post-Sonata series. Josef finally confronts Beth with his growing feelings for her, and it has serious consequences for his relationships with Mick and Simone. Told from alternating pov's of all the main characters.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters; no copyright infringement intended
A/N: I’m very excited about the positive response to Chapter 1! Thanks so much! Now, for your reading pleasure (I hope), and because I couldn’t wait, here is a supersize bonus for you. Two-Two-Two chapters in one! Enjoy!
Chapter 2
MICK
I woke up the next afternoon, still in a state of extreme annoyance where Josef was concerned. I could see he was just trying to find a way to cope with his problems, but it was clear that this behavior wasn’t helping things. I mean, what if it had been Simone who had come home to crash the party? As brilliant a businessman as Josef was, he was worthless at female relationships, mainly because he didn’t think much farther than the end of his dick.
Now I’m not saying I’m a genius with women, (witness the train wreck that was my marriage), but I thought more with my head and my heart, not with that other, less reliable part of my anatomy. Well, unless you count some of the nights when I visited Beth because, frankly, I was horny as hell. This evening was one of those times, and I was extremely hopeful that she was feeling the same way. Okay, call me a hypocrite, but I was in a committed relationship with the love of my life, not banging freshies on my living room floor.
I greeted Beth with a naughty smile, leaving her no doubt what I was there for. She recognized what was on my mind immediately, and languorously wrapped her arms around me, pulling my head down for a sensual kiss. While our tongues mated, our hands tangled in each other’s hair, and I backed her inside her apartment, shutting the door behind us with my boot. I walked her to our favorite couch and pushed her gently down onto it. She gave me a sexy smile, and I immediately got to work on the lounge pants and t-shirt she wore, slipping my cool hands beneath them, excitedly seeking her warmth. We hadn’t even said a word; our bodies were doing the communicating just fine.
I breathed in the scent of gardenias and… old vampire and…tequila? What the hell?
I pulled away abruptly and stood up, watching Beth’s eyes fly open in surprise, while her pulse still pounded and her body panted in unfulfilled passion.
“You mind telling me why Josef was here earlier?” I tried to make my voice sound casual, but I didn’t expect to like what I was about to hear.
“Huh?”
“Josef. I can smell that he was here earlier.”
She sat up, disoriented no doubt by my sudden new interest. She shook her head as if to clear it, then she smirked in remembrance.
“Yes, I had a drunken late-night visitor.”
“Drunk? It takes a lot of alcohol to get a vampire drunk, Beth.”
“Well, he was definitely drunk. He came over to ask if I’d heard from Simone.”
I contemplated this a moment.
“He could have just called.”
“Yeah, but drunk people don’t always do the logical thing. And you should have seen him, Mick. He was pathetic. I let him talk, gave him some blood, then got his driver to take him home. Don’t be too mad at him. He did send me flowers to apologize.”
“Apologize for what?” I could tell she wasn’t taking any of this seriously, but I don’t think she realized that Josef had a thing for her, and that if he had done anything inappropriate, I might quite literally break his neck. I heard Beth’s heart skip a beat at my tone (or was she protecting him?), and I braced myself for the worst, knowing that what she said next would determine Josef’s future existence.
“It was nothing, Mick. Why are you getting so worked up about this? He misses Simone. He tried to drown his sorrows. Nothing we all haven’t done at one time or another, right?”
“But he must have said something he regrets. It takes a lot for Josef to apologize.”
Then I saw it. The tell-tale blush. He had said something.
“Beth?” I prompted, trying not to get angry.
She sighed. “He said I have a nice butt. That was it. He was drunk. Please, can’t we just forget about it? It was nothing, really. I thought it was funny, in a sad, tragic sort of way.”
I turned away from her then, unsure of how to react. Beth didn’t seem to see anything significant about Josef’s behavior toward her, and I wondered if I should mention my recent insight into his feelings and his subsequent confirmation of them. He had promised he wouldn’t act on these feelings, and so far he hadn’t. But personal comments and the fact that he was even looking at my girlfriend’s ass did not sit well with me. Maybe I just needed to confront Josef about making unexpected visits to my girlfriend when I wasn’t there. No need to make Beth uncomfortable around him. Josef usually had a limited attention span, and I was hoping this too would pass, and he’d start focusing his attentions on Simone as soon as she came back. If she came back. Now that was a worrisome thought.
“Mick?”
I guess I had been quiet too long. I took a deep, unneeded breath, tried to look serene, and turned back to her.
“I’m sorry. I’m just worried about Josef. I went over there last night-before he apparently came over here-and he was having a big party, women being the only ones on the guest list. He’s falling back into his old ways, Beth, and I’m afraid that if Simone finds out, that’ll be the end for them for sure.”
“Women? Is he sleeping with them?”
“Not that I saw, but his butler pretty well confirmed it for me. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you. I know you’ll feel obligated to tell Simone…”
“No. I won’t. She left him, remember? Besides, it’s not my news to share. Does that make me a bad friend?”
“Well, I can’t judge you on that,” I told her, sitting on the couch beside her. “I’ve been pissed off at Josef all day, and not very supportive, myself. Now, I hear he came here bugging you-“
She placed two fingers on my lips to head off my rant. “Maybe we should just stay out of this, let them work things out on their own. If it’s meant to be, it will happen, with or without our help.” I kissed her fingers and felt the usual overwhelming feeling of love and protectiveness whenever I looked at her.
“You’re right.”
“I am?” she asked with mock incredulity.
I laughed. “ Yes, smart ass, I can admit when you’re right. But it happens so infrequently-“
I got a punch in the arm for that remark.
“Ow!” I exclaimed, but of course I barely felt it. I rubbed my upper arm for effect, then I hung my head, pretending to be disappointed. “I suppose this means you’re no longer in the mood…” I looked slyly up with one eye, trying to gauge her interest.
With lightning fast reflexes that would do a vampire proud, she jumped on me, pushing me down on the couch again, her sweet body on top of mine this time. I caught her wriggling hips, holding them still so she could feel that I certainly was still in the mood. She leaned forward, her soft breasts resting on my chest.
“Now,” she said silkily, her lips hovering over mine, “no more talk about Josef Kostan’s love life. Time to focus on your own, vampire.”
“Well, okay then,” I agreed. And we picked up right where we’d left off.
JOSEF
I was in danger of heading into stalker territory, I told myself, as I parked across the street from Beth’s condo. I looked up at the light streaming from her window. Mick’s convertible was right in front of the door, and I had no doubt what he was doing up there with her. It’s probably a good thing he was there, saving me from making a fool of myself for the second night in a row. Only this time, I wasn’t drunk. My excuse was that I wanted to apologize again in person for showing up unannounced and wasted, and I was going to do that by showing up unannounced and sober. The irony was not lost on me.
I sighed and leaned my forehead against the steering wheel of the Ferrari. This obsession with her had to stop. Nothing remotely good could come of it. I loved Simone. I missed her with a sharp ache centered somewhere in the vicinity of my dead heart. So why the hell did I feel the need to effectively stake myself in the chest by throwing wild parties, having sex with strangers, and stalking Beth Turner?
If I could talk to Mick about this, he’d just call me an idiot, tell me to snap out of it. But I couldn’t talk to Mick, because I was in love with his girlfriend, and also because I loved him like a brother. I was all I had right now, through no one’s fault but my own.
“You’re an idiot, Kostan,” I said aloud. “Now, snap the hell out of it.”
Okay, good. That sounded about right. I turned the key and pulled out onto the street, driving resolutely away from temptation. But I couldn’t resist glancing up at Beth’s window one last time as I drove by.
A/N: I took some creative license here. I know that in the show, Josh died in January, but my story takes place in the spring. Hope you’ll forgive this little off-canon, blatant plot device.
Chapter 3
BETH
When I looked at the calendar the next morning, I realized the date had come around for the second time. The anniversary of Josh’s death. It had snuck up on me this year, which only added to the guilty feelings I still had associated with his death. He had died because I had encouraged him to stay on the Tejada case, even though he had wanted to recuse himself. He had died believing I was still in love with him, when already my heart had been Mick’s. He had died planning to propose to me, with the description of our first date on his lips. He had died, and I was never able to say I was sorry.
There was only one other person in this world who understood how I felt. I picked up the phone.
“Hi,” I said to Mick.
“Hello, sweetheart. I was just about to hit the freezer.”
I wiped the tears from my eyes. “I’m sorry. I just wanted--do you know what day it is?”
He was quiet a moment, then I heard his sad sigh. “Yeah, I remember. Are you okay?”
“Yes. I just can’t believe it’s been two years. Listen, I was thinking of taking a long lunch hour and visiting his grave. Can you come with me?”
“Oh, God, Beth, I can’t. I have to testify in a missing person case I solved several months ago. I was just gonna get a few hours’ sleep first, but we could go right now.”
“No,” I said, “you don’t need to miss your rest. And besides, Ben’s got me on that murder case, or I’d take off the whole day to remember him. I’ll be alright. It’s just…it’s just a hard day for me.”
“For me, too, Beth. I wish I could have done more.”
“Don’t. I’ve come to terms with that, Mick. And I’m still so grateful for what you did, for what you tried to do. No, I just want to remember him how he was, what a good man he was.”
“And he loved you. I understand while you still grieve for him; his death was tragic and wasteful. I do still want to pay my respects, so I’ll try to get by there tonight, maybe.”
I tried to put a smile in my voice. “He would have liked that. Despite his jealousy of you, he respected you, Mick. For all my faults, I do have good taste in men.”
“And Josh had good taste in women. Hey, you sure you’re okay?”
I sniffed and grabbed a tissue. “Don’t worry. I’ll call you later. I love you. I love you so much.”
“I love you too. Talk to you later.”
****
I worked all morning, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I called Josh’s mom to renew my condolences, and she wished so much she could make it down from San Francisco, but her husband’s health wasn’t the best right now. I told her I’d do my best to stand in for her, to pass on her love. We were both crying when I hung up, and, looking at the clock, I saw it was already noon. I fixed my face a little and told Ben I’d be a little late coming back. I’m sure he noted how I’d been crying, but he respected my privacy, nodding in acknowledgement.
I parked as close as I could to Josh’s grave, which was just down a hill in the shade of a huge juniper tree, its scent pungent in the air. I had brought flowers and a picnic, intending to share lunch with him like we always tried to do when work allowed. I spread out a blanket and sat down next to his stone, placing the white roses in the little built-in vase. I traced his name with my fingers, picturing his face, the dark eyes that would look at me so lovingly, the smile that always made me want to smile back. Before Mick, I would have spent my life with this man. I reached into my pocket and brought out the ring he would have given me, and my eyes blurred with tears as I sobbed.
JOSEF
I wasn’t stalking her, really. I did have business downtown near Beth’s office, so it wasn’t exactly stalking when I just happened to drive by her work and see her getting into her car, was it? And she looked like she had been crying. Well, that did it. I had to make sure everything was alright. I mean, Mick would want me to look out for her, right? I looked at my watch, seeing that my meeting wasn’t scheduled for another hour, and pulled into traffic, three cars behind her.
I followed her for about twenty minutes, and saw her turn into a cemetery. Curiouser and curiouser. Maybe she was going to a funeral. But the cemetery was practically empty, and I trailed an inconspicuous distance behind her, stopping my car in the shade, watching her take out a tote bag and a bouquet and walk up and over a small hill, out of sight.
I sat there a minute, debating what I should do. I looked at my cell phone, contemplating calling Mick, but he lived clear across town. It wouldn’t be stalking her to find out if she was okay, would it?
Awww, fuck it.
I got out of the car.
I trotted from tree to tree to stay out of the midday sun, and as I made it to the top of the hill, I heard her crying. I walked closer and saw the name on the headstone where she mourned: Josh Lindsey. I remembered Mick’s sad story of how Beth’s boyfriend had been murdered, how Beth had berated him for not turning him to save his life. At the time, I had just added it to the infinite list of things Mick could hate himself for, but seeing Beth now, so broken up even two years later, I suddenly understood why he would never want to be responsible for making Beth cry.
I should have turned around right then and given her some privacy. I should have, but should-haves had never compelled me to do anything before.
“Beth,” I said softly. She turned around in surprise, and I inwardly cringed at the pain evident in her ravaged face.
“Josef. What are you doing here?”
I walked over to the shaded grave, my feet stopping at the edge of her plaid blanket. She looked up at me, confused no doubt about my incongruous presence there.
“Well, I was driving by your work and I saw you get in your car and you looked like you were upset so I followed you here to see if I could help--” I was babbling, and I stopped abruptly, feeling like the fool that I was.
“Oh. It’s the anniversary of Josh’s death, and I felt like I needed to be here. I wanted Mick to come, but he had this court thing. And I-I-- .” She put her face in her hands, overcome with emotion. I dropped to my knees on the blanket beside her, not even thinking twice about gathering her shaking form into my arms, letting her bury her head in my shoulder and weep.
I patted her smooth curls and we stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity to me, until her sobs became whimpers, and her quavering breaths became more even. She suddenly pulled away, self-conscious of her outburst, wiping at her face with the backs of her hands. I reached into my inside breast pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, then began dabbing at her eyes like a child, brushing her golden hair away from her damp cheeks. Her watery blue eyes seemed to plead to me, but I didn’t know for what. I moved in closer, her sweet lips just millimeters away, and I couldn’t believe she was letting me, that I was letting myself. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to hers.
I tasted strawberries and tears, felt the fullness of her trembling bottom lip before I pulled her in closer, deepening the kiss. And I felt…nothing. How could this be? I slipped my tongue inside her warm mouth, desperate to feel what I’d been working myself up to for months. Where was the all-consuming passion, the sensual pull, the desire to take her right now, even in the middle of a cemetery? My hands found her head, and I readjusted our connection, kissing her with every erotic trick I’d learned in the past four centuries. But I knew it was useless. No matter what I tried, soft and gentle, or deep and searching, it felt like I was kissing… my sister.
I sat back and opened my eyes, looking into Beth’s stunned face. Thinking a moment, I realized that she hadn’t once kissed me back, had only sat there, enduring my passionate onslaught. I guess she must have felt even less than me. Well, unless you count shock.
“Are you finished?” She asked tonelessly.
“Beth, I’m sor-“
I didn’t see it coming, which is probably why her punch to my jaw knocked be on my ass. I laughed, tasting my own blood in my mouth.
“Well, I guess I deserved that..”
“And this-“ added Mick.
I caught wind of him milliseconds before I felt myself flying through the air, slamming hard into the juniper tree.
TBC…
Fandom : Moonlight
Characters : Mick, Beth, Josef, Simone
Rating : R, for some sexual content and strong language.
Spoilers: Post -"Sonata"
Summary: Eleventh in my post-Sonata series. Josef finally confronts Beth with his growing feelings for her, and it has serious consequences for his relationships with Mick and Simone. Told from alternating pov's of all the main characters.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters; no copyright infringement intended
A/N: I’m very excited about the positive response to Chapter 1! Thanks so much! Now, for your reading pleasure (I hope), and because I couldn’t wait, here is a supersize bonus for you. Two-Two-Two chapters in one! Enjoy!
Chapter 2
MICK
I woke up the next afternoon, still in a state of extreme annoyance where Josef was concerned. I could see he was just trying to find a way to cope with his problems, but it was clear that this behavior wasn’t helping things. I mean, what if it had been Simone who had come home to crash the party? As brilliant a businessman as Josef was, he was worthless at female relationships, mainly because he didn’t think much farther than the end of his dick.
Now I’m not saying I’m a genius with women, (witness the train wreck that was my marriage), but I thought more with my head and my heart, not with that other, less reliable part of my anatomy. Well, unless you count some of the nights when I visited Beth because, frankly, I was horny as hell. This evening was one of those times, and I was extremely hopeful that she was feeling the same way. Okay, call me a hypocrite, but I was in a committed relationship with the love of my life, not banging freshies on my living room floor.
I greeted Beth with a naughty smile, leaving her no doubt what I was there for. She recognized what was on my mind immediately, and languorously wrapped her arms around me, pulling my head down for a sensual kiss. While our tongues mated, our hands tangled in each other’s hair, and I backed her inside her apartment, shutting the door behind us with my boot. I walked her to our favorite couch and pushed her gently down onto it. She gave me a sexy smile, and I immediately got to work on the lounge pants and t-shirt she wore, slipping my cool hands beneath them, excitedly seeking her warmth. We hadn’t even said a word; our bodies were doing the communicating just fine.
I breathed in the scent of gardenias and… old vampire and…tequila? What the hell?
I pulled away abruptly and stood up, watching Beth’s eyes fly open in surprise, while her pulse still pounded and her body panted in unfulfilled passion.
“You mind telling me why Josef was here earlier?” I tried to make my voice sound casual, but I didn’t expect to like what I was about to hear.
“Huh?”
“Josef. I can smell that he was here earlier.”
She sat up, disoriented no doubt by my sudden new interest. She shook her head as if to clear it, then she smirked in remembrance.
“Yes, I had a drunken late-night visitor.”
“Drunk? It takes a lot of alcohol to get a vampire drunk, Beth.”
“Well, he was definitely drunk. He came over to ask if I’d heard from Simone.”
I contemplated this a moment.
“He could have just called.”
“Yeah, but drunk people don’t always do the logical thing. And you should have seen him, Mick. He was pathetic. I let him talk, gave him some blood, then got his driver to take him home. Don’t be too mad at him. He did send me flowers to apologize.”
“Apologize for what?” I could tell she wasn’t taking any of this seriously, but I don’t think she realized that Josef had a thing for her, and that if he had done anything inappropriate, I might quite literally break his neck. I heard Beth’s heart skip a beat at my tone (or was she protecting him?), and I braced myself for the worst, knowing that what she said next would determine Josef’s future existence.
“It was nothing, Mick. Why are you getting so worked up about this? He misses Simone. He tried to drown his sorrows. Nothing we all haven’t done at one time or another, right?”
“But he must have said something he regrets. It takes a lot for Josef to apologize.”
Then I saw it. The tell-tale blush. He had said something.
“Beth?” I prompted, trying not to get angry.
She sighed. “He said I have a nice butt. That was it. He was drunk. Please, can’t we just forget about it? It was nothing, really. I thought it was funny, in a sad, tragic sort of way.”
I turned away from her then, unsure of how to react. Beth didn’t seem to see anything significant about Josef’s behavior toward her, and I wondered if I should mention my recent insight into his feelings and his subsequent confirmation of them. He had promised he wouldn’t act on these feelings, and so far he hadn’t. But personal comments and the fact that he was even looking at my girlfriend’s ass did not sit well with me. Maybe I just needed to confront Josef about making unexpected visits to my girlfriend when I wasn’t there. No need to make Beth uncomfortable around him. Josef usually had a limited attention span, and I was hoping this too would pass, and he’d start focusing his attentions on Simone as soon as she came back. If she came back. Now that was a worrisome thought.
“Mick?”
I guess I had been quiet too long. I took a deep, unneeded breath, tried to look serene, and turned back to her.
“I’m sorry. I’m just worried about Josef. I went over there last night-before he apparently came over here-and he was having a big party, women being the only ones on the guest list. He’s falling back into his old ways, Beth, and I’m afraid that if Simone finds out, that’ll be the end for them for sure.”
“Women? Is he sleeping with them?”
“Not that I saw, but his butler pretty well confirmed it for me. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you. I know you’ll feel obligated to tell Simone…”
“No. I won’t. She left him, remember? Besides, it’s not my news to share. Does that make me a bad friend?”
“Well, I can’t judge you on that,” I told her, sitting on the couch beside her. “I’ve been pissed off at Josef all day, and not very supportive, myself. Now, I hear he came here bugging you-“
She placed two fingers on my lips to head off my rant. “Maybe we should just stay out of this, let them work things out on their own. If it’s meant to be, it will happen, with or without our help.” I kissed her fingers and felt the usual overwhelming feeling of love and protectiveness whenever I looked at her.
“You’re right.”
“I am?” she asked with mock incredulity.
I laughed. “ Yes, smart ass, I can admit when you’re right. But it happens so infrequently-“
I got a punch in the arm for that remark.
“Ow!” I exclaimed, but of course I barely felt it. I rubbed my upper arm for effect, then I hung my head, pretending to be disappointed. “I suppose this means you’re no longer in the mood…” I looked slyly up with one eye, trying to gauge her interest.
With lightning fast reflexes that would do a vampire proud, she jumped on me, pushing me down on the couch again, her sweet body on top of mine this time. I caught her wriggling hips, holding them still so she could feel that I certainly was still in the mood. She leaned forward, her soft breasts resting on my chest.
“Now,” she said silkily, her lips hovering over mine, “no more talk about Josef Kostan’s love life. Time to focus on your own, vampire.”
“Well, okay then,” I agreed. And we picked up right where we’d left off.
JOSEF
I was in danger of heading into stalker territory, I told myself, as I parked across the street from Beth’s condo. I looked up at the light streaming from her window. Mick’s convertible was right in front of the door, and I had no doubt what he was doing up there with her. It’s probably a good thing he was there, saving me from making a fool of myself for the second night in a row. Only this time, I wasn’t drunk. My excuse was that I wanted to apologize again in person for showing up unannounced and wasted, and I was going to do that by showing up unannounced and sober. The irony was not lost on me.
I sighed and leaned my forehead against the steering wheel of the Ferrari. This obsession with her had to stop. Nothing remotely good could come of it. I loved Simone. I missed her with a sharp ache centered somewhere in the vicinity of my dead heart. So why the hell did I feel the need to effectively stake myself in the chest by throwing wild parties, having sex with strangers, and stalking Beth Turner?
If I could talk to Mick about this, he’d just call me an idiot, tell me to snap out of it. But I couldn’t talk to Mick, because I was in love with his girlfriend, and also because I loved him like a brother. I was all I had right now, through no one’s fault but my own.
“You’re an idiot, Kostan,” I said aloud. “Now, snap the hell out of it.”
Okay, good. That sounded about right. I turned the key and pulled out onto the street, driving resolutely away from temptation. But I couldn’t resist glancing up at Beth’s window one last time as I drove by.
A/N: I took some creative license here. I know that in the show, Josh died in January, but my story takes place in the spring. Hope you’ll forgive this little off-canon, blatant plot device.
Chapter 3
BETH
When I looked at the calendar the next morning, I realized the date had come around for the second time. The anniversary of Josh’s death. It had snuck up on me this year, which only added to the guilty feelings I still had associated with his death. He had died because I had encouraged him to stay on the Tejada case, even though he had wanted to recuse himself. He had died believing I was still in love with him, when already my heart had been Mick’s. He had died planning to propose to me, with the description of our first date on his lips. He had died, and I was never able to say I was sorry.
There was only one other person in this world who understood how I felt. I picked up the phone.
“Hi,” I said to Mick.
“Hello, sweetheart. I was just about to hit the freezer.”
I wiped the tears from my eyes. “I’m sorry. I just wanted--do you know what day it is?”
He was quiet a moment, then I heard his sad sigh. “Yeah, I remember. Are you okay?”
“Yes. I just can’t believe it’s been two years. Listen, I was thinking of taking a long lunch hour and visiting his grave. Can you come with me?”
“Oh, God, Beth, I can’t. I have to testify in a missing person case I solved several months ago. I was just gonna get a few hours’ sleep first, but we could go right now.”
“No,” I said, “you don’t need to miss your rest. And besides, Ben’s got me on that murder case, or I’d take off the whole day to remember him. I’ll be alright. It’s just…it’s just a hard day for me.”
“For me, too, Beth. I wish I could have done more.”
“Don’t. I’ve come to terms with that, Mick. And I’m still so grateful for what you did, for what you tried to do. No, I just want to remember him how he was, what a good man he was.”
“And he loved you. I understand while you still grieve for him; his death was tragic and wasteful. I do still want to pay my respects, so I’ll try to get by there tonight, maybe.”
I tried to put a smile in my voice. “He would have liked that. Despite his jealousy of you, he respected you, Mick. For all my faults, I do have good taste in men.”
“And Josh had good taste in women. Hey, you sure you’re okay?”
I sniffed and grabbed a tissue. “Don’t worry. I’ll call you later. I love you. I love you so much.”
“I love you too. Talk to you later.”
****
I worked all morning, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I called Josh’s mom to renew my condolences, and she wished so much she could make it down from San Francisco, but her husband’s health wasn’t the best right now. I told her I’d do my best to stand in for her, to pass on her love. We were both crying when I hung up, and, looking at the clock, I saw it was already noon. I fixed my face a little and told Ben I’d be a little late coming back. I’m sure he noted how I’d been crying, but he respected my privacy, nodding in acknowledgement.
I parked as close as I could to Josh’s grave, which was just down a hill in the shade of a huge juniper tree, its scent pungent in the air. I had brought flowers and a picnic, intending to share lunch with him like we always tried to do when work allowed. I spread out a blanket and sat down next to his stone, placing the white roses in the little built-in vase. I traced his name with my fingers, picturing his face, the dark eyes that would look at me so lovingly, the smile that always made me want to smile back. Before Mick, I would have spent my life with this man. I reached into my pocket and brought out the ring he would have given me, and my eyes blurred with tears as I sobbed.
JOSEF
I wasn’t stalking her, really. I did have business downtown near Beth’s office, so it wasn’t exactly stalking when I just happened to drive by her work and see her getting into her car, was it? And she looked like she had been crying. Well, that did it. I had to make sure everything was alright. I mean, Mick would want me to look out for her, right? I looked at my watch, seeing that my meeting wasn’t scheduled for another hour, and pulled into traffic, three cars behind her.
I followed her for about twenty minutes, and saw her turn into a cemetery. Curiouser and curiouser. Maybe she was going to a funeral. But the cemetery was practically empty, and I trailed an inconspicuous distance behind her, stopping my car in the shade, watching her take out a tote bag and a bouquet and walk up and over a small hill, out of sight.
I sat there a minute, debating what I should do. I looked at my cell phone, contemplating calling Mick, but he lived clear across town. It wouldn’t be stalking her to find out if she was okay, would it?
Awww, fuck it.
I got out of the car.
I trotted from tree to tree to stay out of the midday sun, and as I made it to the top of the hill, I heard her crying. I walked closer and saw the name on the headstone where she mourned: Josh Lindsey. I remembered Mick’s sad story of how Beth’s boyfriend had been murdered, how Beth had berated him for not turning him to save his life. At the time, I had just added it to the infinite list of things Mick could hate himself for, but seeing Beth now, so broken up even two years later, I suddenly understood why he would never want to be responsible for making Beth cry.
I should have turned around right then and given her some privacy. I should have, but should-haves had never compelled me to do anything before.
“Beth,” I said softly. She turned around in surprise, and I inwardly cringed at the pain evident in her ravaged face.
“Josef. What are you doing here?”
I walked over to the shaded grave, my feet stopping at the edge of her plaid blanket. She looked up at me, confused no doubt about my incongruous presence there.
“Well, I was driving by your work and I saw you get in your car and you looked like you were upset so I followed you here to see if I could help--” I was babbling, and I stopped abruptly, feeling like the fool that I was.
“Oh. It’s the anniversary of Josh’s death, and I felt like I needed to be here. I wanted Mick to come, but he had this court thing. And I-I-- .” She put her face in her hands, overcome with emotion. I dropped to my knees on the blanket beside her, not even thinking twice about gathering her shaking form into my arms, letting her bury her head in my shoulder and weep.
I patted her smooth curls and we stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity to me, until her sobs became whimpers, and her quavering breaths became more even. She suddenly pulled away, self-conscious of her outburst, wiping at her face with the backs of her hands. I reached into my inside breast pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, then began dabbing at her eyes like a child, brushing her golden hair away from her damp cheeks. Her watery blue eyes seemed to plead to me, but I didn’t know for what. I moved in closer, her sweet lips just millimeters away, and I couldn’t believe she was letting me, that I was letting myself. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to hers.
I tasted strawberries and tears, felt the fullness of her trembling bottom lip before I pulled her in closer, deepening the kiss. And I felt…nothing. How could this be? I slipped my tongue inside her warm mouth, desperate to feel what I’d been working myself up to for months. Where was the all-consuming passion, the sensual pull, the desire to take her right now, even in the middle of a cemetery? My hands found her head, and I readjusted our connection, kissing her with every erotic trick I’d learned in the past four centuries. But I knew it was useless. No matter what I tried, soft and gentle, or deep and searching, it felt like I was kissing… my sister.
I sat back and opened my eyes, looking into Beth’s stunned face. Thinking a moment, I realized that she hadn’t once kissed me back, had only sat there, enduring my passionate onslaught. I guess she must have felt even less than me. Well, unless you count shock.
“Are you finished?” She asked tonelessly.
“Beth, I’m sor-“
I didn’t see it coming, which is probably why her punch to my jaw knocked be on my ass. I laughed, tasting my own blood in my mouth.
“Well, I guess I deserved that..”
“And this-“ added Mick.
I caught wind of him milliseconds before I felt myself flying through the air, slamming hard into the juniper tree.
TBC…