parachuting anchors

[moonkissedx]

yunho/jaejoong
oneshot; 248 words
angst
pg



you put up walls and paint them all a shade of grey.

in your heart, it’s dark and cold.

the ice barricades you set up within, the pain numbing your senses, flooding you until you feel like you’re drowning, you can’t get out, you can’t escape. the wintry temperature slowly travels up as you construct invisible glass doors in your mind, that unequivocal sneer imprinted so deep that its shadows haunt the last of your dreams and waking hours, disparaging taunts ringing in your ears as you shiver, huddling in a corner, hugging yourself tighter and tighter, incoherent words spilling from your pale lips. you don’t believe in anything anymore, the trust in you crumbled after those words he said to you.

“I don’t love you, I never did and I never will. No one loves you, you’re just a passing face in the crowd, and you’re not worth any love.”

from then on, there’s a padlock on your heart, locking in every emotion you have into the depths of you, the key lost and never found. you can only experience fear, malevolent thoughts freezing your brain. you’re parachuting anchors and building barriers within, with weights so heavy you can’t breathe.

“I’m not worthy of your love. I’m not worthy of your love. I’m not worthy of your love.”

these words seem to be on loop, repeating itself over and over, reminding you of his harsh but true words.

in your heart, it’s dark and cold, it’s grey.

-

I have no idea why all my oneshots turn out to be so angsty. D: this really, was just random but the phrase "parachuting anchors" just kept appearing in my head. would anyone like to guess the meaning of the phrase? xD
impulse writing again, the stress is getting to me, ugh. I can't concentrate on things anymore. ;-; but I hope this was satisfactory, it was edited quite a few times. I need a lot of hugs now, gah. ): I'm so tired.
please comment, I do need a lot of encouragement.

OH. AND. IMPORTANT.
A JAE!HAIR LJ COMM :)
thegodofhair
go join! please? <8DDD /hands out cookies

I love all of you! ♥