Jan 30, 2012 19:07
One of my best friends is having a birthday gathering at the moment and I'm not there.
The reason for my not being there is essentially due to the fact that his best friend and flatmate was a brief interlude of mine in mid-2011 who hit the final nail in the coffin which held my ability to trust men. Or something with less finality. Y'know, he was a jackass, let's leave it at that.
I feel awful because this friend of mine has kind of grown used to being side-lined by his peers. His 21st ended up not really having anything to do with him. I met him in March last year and we grew close very, very quickly and I guess I kind of wanted to show that he can make and maintain friends that give a crap about him.
And yet I'm not there.
I feel like I should be there, but I know the minute I see all of these people from my past who were either witnesses, accomplices or participants in Let's Fuck Liz Around For A Couple of Months, I'm just going to retreat into a corner and say nothing all evening. Depending on the alcohol consumed, there might be either sad or angry tears at some point. Not promoting party atmosphere.
I don't even really know what advice I'm looking for here, if any at all. It's just...you know. A crappy situation. THOUGHT I'D SHARE :D.