release
intense
i want chest surgery
i want T
knowing that brudder will be going on T in a few days makes me so happy for him. and so completely jelous.
this kid that i am friends with on myspace posted pics of his surgery from dec 12th. i am so jelous. i just gazed for a long period of time.
i need it
i havent been passing as well lately, i think its due to the fact that i have gained some weight, either way it sucks
for a long time i invisioned transitioning with the support of the partner that i would settle down with
now i am thinking about how i can do this alone, (oh right, jamie and i arent together anymore) with the support of my friends of course.. im scared, but the fear is becoming less and less by the day. plus, being scared is boring. how will i grow if i am scared
i am really learning to rely on myself. and show up for myself. i just want to be me.
sometimes i still cant believe this is me. i tried so hard to be something that i am not. to love the body i am in. i was wrapped in denial, thinking that if i didnt love my body i would die, because well... i was gonig to. and then i started to deal with all this, and again was going to... die. but with time i have learned to not care about the 'shoulds' of society, others, and myself.
its a different feeling, when for one of the first times, you can just sit without yourself. when you can feel those things you have been trying to run from for ever since you can remember anything. for the first time you can feel the pain in the moment.
i am inspired by all that is going on around me that i can infact do it. it is in reach. this is me. fuck off if you dont like it or support it. i am the only one that has to live with me, so trust me when i say this is how i feel
this prob is a huge reason why it is so hard for me to be home right now.... every time i come back here it feels like i am taking steps back. back here i am and prob always will be a girl to come degree. i miss being in a place where most people know and are understanding
i keep on thinking im seeing people from keene everywhere. and im just not. i miss it. right now i def feel like i dont want to spend the summer in milford. its not home anymore i dont feel
i want chest surgery
i want T
knowing that brudder will be going on T in a few days makes me so happy for him. and so completely jelous.
this kid that i am friends with on myspace posted pics of his surgery from dec 12th. i am so jelous. i just gazed for a long period of time.
i need it
i havent been passing as well lately, i think its due to the fact that i have gained some weight, either way it sucks
for a long time i invisioned transitioning with the support of the partner that i would settle down with
now i am thinking about how i can do this alone, (oh right, jamie and i arent together anymore) with the support of my friends of course.. im scared, but the fear is becoming less and less by the day. plus, being scared is boring. how will i grow if i am scared
i am really learning to rely on myself. and show up for myself. i just want to be me.
sometimes i still cant believe this is me. i tried so hard to be something that i am not. to love the body i am in. i was wrapped in denial, thinking that if i didnt love my body i would die, because well... i was gonig to. and then i started to deal with all this, and again was going to... die. but with time i have learned to not care about the 'shoulds' of society, others, and myself.
its a different feeling, when for one of the first times, you can just sit without yourself. when you can feel those things you have been trying to run from for ever since you can remember anything. for the first time you can feel the pain in the moment.
i am inspired by all that is going on around me that i can infact do it. it is in reach. this is me. fuck off if you dont like it or support it. i am the only one that has to live with me, so trust me when i say this is how i feel
this prob is a huge reason why it is so hard for me to be home right now.... every time i come back here it feels like i am taking steps back. back here i am and prob always will be a girl to come degree. i miss being in a place where most people know and are understanding
i keep on thinking im seeing people from keene everywhere. and im just not. i miss it. right now i def feel like i dont want to spend the summer in milford. its not home anymore i dont feel