Queer as Folk Fanfiction: We Are Family (Part 2)
Title: We Are Family
Fandom: Queer as Folk
Characters/Pairing: Molly, Brian/Justin
Timeline: All seasons, plus post 513
Rating: PG-13ish
Word Count: 11,579 words
Warnings: None
Summary: As Molly Taylor grows up, she starts to rethink who her family really is.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don’t own these characters.
Beta: The fabulous freakykat, thank you so much! Huge thanks also go to akintay and rromantic, for helping me get things right and for being my cheerleaders :)
Author’s Notes: I always thought Molly’s role on the show was much too small, so this is my way of making her play a bigger part in the things that happened. I used my own timeline because the timeline on the show is too confusing to make much sense of.
Written for the Through The Eyes Of... Challenge at neverenough_bj.
Posted in two parts, because it’s too long to post in one entry.
Read the first part here.
WE ARE FAMILY, part 2
I was thirteen years old when Justin went to L.A.
Back when I was eleven, Lindsay told me that once I turned thirteen, she would let me baby-sit Gus for her and Mel sometimes. So the day after my thirteenth birthday, I rang the doorbell at their house, ready to start the job. It was good timing, because Mel was pregnant at the time, and they needed someone to stay with Gus when they had doctor appointments or other things they had to do. I was more than happy to do it. I loved kids. I wanted to work with them when I grew up.
A few months after that, Justin moved to Los Angeles to work on the Rage movie. I was so proud. My brother was living among all the famous people in Hollywood! The girls at school were so jealous. And I made Justin promise me to bring back autographs from every celebrity he met.
But I thought a lot about how Brian was dealing with it. He didn’t say anything of course, and he would kill me if he knew what I was thinking, but I was worried about him being lonely. I knew he didn’t see his family a lot, and even though he had his friends, I figured that with Justin gone, he probably spent a lot of time alone.
I decided to do something about it. So I made it a habit to go visit him at the loft every time I’d been over to baby-sit Gus.
He always made a point out of not needing me to check up on him, but he didn’t look very annoyed when he said it, so I didn’t take it too seriously. And we always had a good time together, so I don’t think he minded all that much. He always asked me how Gus had been acting and how things were at school, and I told him about everything that had happened since the last time I saw him. For some reason it was always so easy to talk to him. Probably because he didn’t talk a lot himself. Mostly he just listened, and let me do the talking. He used to say that when it came to talking, I could match Justin any day. I couldn’t really argue with that.
So I was over at Brian’s one afternoon, sitting on one of the stools by the counter, when I asked him the question I had been thinking about for days, weeks even.
“How do you know if you like boys or girls?”
I really was thinking about it a lot. I found some of the boys at my school really cute, but I also thought some of the girls were really pretty. How could I know what I liked?
Brian was going through some papers on his desk, and didn’t really pay much attention to my question. “You just know”, he replied a little absently, looking at a paper in his hand. Then he looked up at me, and smirked a little. “Believe me, you’ll know.”
“Yeah, but...” I turned a little on the stool. “I’ve tried kissing a boy. And then I kissed a girl, and-“
“You kissed a girl?” Suddenly Brian was looking at me with much more interest.
I shrugged. “Yeah. My friend Kristen and I did it. We just wanted to see what it was like.”
A little smile spread across Brian’s face. “You surprise me, Taylor. So, what was it like? Did you like it?”
“I’m not really sure”, I answered truthfully. “I used to like this guy at school, Jason. And then we were at a birthday party and we kissed, but... I didn’t like it. He was sort of aggressive and tried to shove his tongue into my mouth and I didn’t want that so I sort of pushed him away.” I hesitated, feeling a little sick at the memory. My little crush on Jason ended quite abruptly that night.
“With Kristen it was better”, I continued. “Because we both just wanted to try it, and it was more gentle and all.” I stopped again, blushing. I couldn’t believe I was telling him this. I hadn’t told anyone else. But then again, I’d always felt comfortable confiding in Brian. So I went on. “But it also felt wrong, because she’s, like, my best friend. We giggled so hard afterwards, I don’t think we stopped laughing for ten minutes.”
“Yeah, kissing your best friend is never a good idea”, Brian mumbled, and I wasn’t sure if I was meant to hear it or not. Then he looked at me again, sort of incredulous, like he couldn’t believe we were having this discussion.
“I know it can be confusing at first. But there will come a time when you just know”, Brian said, meeting gaze. “I hope for your sake it’s boys though”, he added, smirking again. “Girls are just too much trouble.”
“Hey!” I said, not sure if I should feel insulted or not.
Brian laughed. “Not you”, he added. “You are one of the few females in the world I can actually tolerate.”
I smiled at that. I knew that coming from Brian, that was a huge compliment.
“Have you talked to Justin?” I asked him suddenly, even though I already knew the answer. I sighed when he started to look at his papers again, obviously wanting to avoid the subject. “I talked to him on the phone yesterday”, I told him. “He really misses you. He kept asking me how you were doing, and said to tell you to return his calls.”
Brian didn’t say anything, and I didn’t expect him to. I knew him pretty well by now.
“Just call him, okay? He really needs you.”
He lifted his eyes to meet mine, and for a while we looked at each other across the room. But then he smirked, and I giggled as I got up to leave. Sometimes he had the most intense stare. No wonder Justin fell in love with him.
“We’ll see”, he said, and I knew there was no room for further discussion so I said goodbye and left to go home. I just hoped he would listen to me.
Five months later, after having kissed Kristen’s cousin’s friend Jimmy, I was one hundred percent certain that I liked boys.
***
I was fourteen year old when Brian proposed to Justin.
I wasn’t expecting it. I don’t think any of us were, maybe not even Brian himself. In the weeks before it happened, he and Justin had been having some problems. I don’t really know what it was all about because neither one of them would talk to me about it, but according to Mom they wanted different things and had decided to end their relationship.
I thought that was stupid. So what if they wanted different things? I knew them well enough to know that the one thing they both wanted more than anything, was to be together. Which is why they shouldn’t let anything stand in the way of that. And wasn’t relationships supposed to be about compromises? That’s what I always heard. If they wanted different things, they should work out something together, something that would make them both happy. I knew that as long as they weren’t together, happiness wouldn’t come to either of them.
I tried telling them that. But of course, they wouldn’t listen to me.
“What makes you think that you have the solution to every fucking problem?” Justin snapped at me when I told him what I thought. He was not in a good place that day. I was helping him with some things in his new apartment - which strictly speaking couldn’t really be called an apartment, it was that disgusting - and while he was unpacking his clothes, he suddenly found one of Brian’s shirts, one that he had accidentally brought along among his own clothes.
He stiffened, and just stared at the shirt for a long time. I pretended to be busy with something else, so he wouldn’t notice me watching him, and therefore he didn’t know that I saw the tears in his eyes as he held the shirt to his face. I wanted to cry myself. This was all just so wrong.
I tried my best to stay out of Justin and Brian’s problems and let them deal with them on their own. It was hard to stand back and just watch them making such a big mistake, but I hoped that something would bring them back together, as it always had in the past.
And then the bombing happened.
I wasn’t there that night. I wanted to go, but as usual when something fun comes along, I was too young to take part in it. I was at home, having two of my friends over for a sleepover, when my Mom and Tucker came home and told me what happened. They didn’t know much at that point, just that it had been an explosion of some kind, and that several people were injured, some even dead.
I could hardly get any words out when I asked about Justin and Brian, and I don’t think I have ever been as relieved as I was when Mom told me they were both okay. Brian hadn’t even been there when the explosion happened, but he came later, and ran straight into the destroyed Babylon to find Justin. Luckily Justin turned out to be unharmed. He was just shaken up and worried about everyone else.
In the middle of everything I couldn’t help thinking how lucky Justin was to have someone who loved him enough to run into a burning building to find him. And those two were supposed to go their separate ways? Yeah, like that would ever really happen.
I asked Mom about all the others that I knew, and she told me everybody was fine... except Michael. He was seriously injured and nobody knew at the time if he would be okay or not.
Luckily he pulled through, and eventually he and Brian sorted out whatever differences they had going between them before the bombing. I still don’t know what that was all about. Nobody ever tells me anything, and it’s so annoying.
Anyway. After all that we were in for a huge surprise.
Justin came over to my and Mom’s place one afternoon when I had just come back from school. The minute I saw him I knew something had happened. He tried to act normal, but he was obviously trying to suppress a smile from breaking out. And he laughed way too loud at one of my stupid jokes. So it didn’t take long before my curiosity got the better of me.
“Okay, Justin, what’s up? Why are you here?”
He looked at me much too innocently. “What makes you think something’s up? Maybe I just wanted to visit my favorite sister.”
Yeah, right.
“Spill”, I told him, as I walked into the kitchen to get some water. Justin followed me.
“Okay”, he said finally, letting out a somewhat nervous breath. “How would you feel about being my best woman?”
I turned to look at him, not having a clue what he was on about.
“Best woman? What are you talking about? What’s that?”
“You know how when guys get married there is always a best man? Well, I thought I’d have a best woman, or whatever it’s called, in stead. Or, two actually.”
What???
“Wait”, I said, as I tried to get my head around what he was saying. Did this mean... No, it couldn’t. There was no way.
“Justin”, I said, staring at him. Now he was no longer able to hide his smile.
“Brian proposed to me”, he beamed. “We’re getting married.”
Oh my God. Oh my God!
“God, Justin!” I practically shrieked as I leaped forward into his arms. He laughed, and wrapped his arms around me, giving me a long hug.
“I can’t believe it”, I said as I pulled back and looked at him. “I just can’t believe it. You two were broken up, and now...” I shook my head in disbelief.
“I know”, he grinned. “I can hardly believe it myself. I thought Brian was joking when he asked me.”
“So how did it happen?” I asked, wanting to know everything.
He smiled again. “Well, first he came to my apartment, and just asked me, right out of the blue. I didn’t think he really meant it. I thought the whole thing with Michael had freaked him out, so I told him no.”
“You said no!?” I asked disbelievingly. How could anyone say no when Brian Kinney proposed?
“I didn’t think he was serious!” Justin said in defense. “Anyway... a few days later he came to get me, and without telling me where we were going, we took off in his car. He brought me to this huge house in West Virginia.”
“Why did he do that?”
“Well...” Justin grinned again, as he shook his head a little. “Turns out he had bought the house for me... for us.”
“He bought you a house?” I asked, not believing my own ears.
“Not just a house”, Justin said. “More like a mansion. With stables, a pool and a tennis court. Just wait until you see it, it’s huge!”
I shook my head again. This was almost too much to take in. “So... what happened next?”
“Well, we went inside, and he brought me to one of the rooms, a beautiful room with a fireplace. And he sort of brought up the marriage thing again... God, the things he said... “ Justin trailed off, smiling as he was consumed with memories.
“Tell me”, I pleaded. “What did he say? Don’t tell me he finally said the L-word?”
Justin grinned. “Oh, he did, but he already said that once before, the night of the bombing. But this time, he said that he wanted to marry me to show me how much he loves me. He said he would do anything to make me happy.”
“Oh my God”, I said again. This was unbelievable. I knew how much Justin wanted Brian to tell him those things.
“I know”, Justin said, smiling as he wrapped his arms around himself for a moment. “ I couldn’t believe it either. But I finally realized that he really meant what he was saying, and that he was serious when he proposed. So I told him I’d marry him.”
I hugged him again. “I’m so happy, Justin!” I beamed at him. “This means Brian will be my brother-in-law! We’ll all be a real family now.”
Speaking of family... I looked up at him. “Have you told Mom yet?”
“Not yet, but I’m going to go find her now. We haven’t really talked much lately because of the whole Tucker thing.”
Yes, I knew about that. Justin was having a hard time accepting that Mom was dating someone so much younger than her, someone who wasn’t much older than himself. And he wasn’t the only one. It had taken me a long time to accept it too. Not only was Tucker almost half her age, he was also one of my teachers. To say that it was awkward at first is a huge understatement.
But I came to terms with it after a while. I hardly spoke to Mom for almost two weeks, but I knew that Tucker was a really nice guy, and I could tell that it was serious between him and Mom. And after practically having grown up seeing Brian and Justin together, I wasn’t unfamiliar with big age differences.
“She will be thrilled”, I smiled, reassuring him in case he was uncertain about how Mom would react. “You know she loves Brian.”
“By the way”, Justin said like he suddenly remembered something. “You didn’t answer my question. Will you be my best woman? I asked Daphne, and she said yes, but I’d really like to have you too.”
I smiled. “Of course I’ll do it. I wouldn’t miss the chance to be a part of your and Brian’s special day.”
I hugged him for the third time since he stepped into the house, and when I pulled back and looked at him, he still had a big smile plastered on his face. I was sure it wouldn’t go away anytime soon.
“This is going to be so much fun”, I exclaimed. “Do you think I can help plan the wedding?”
“We have left Emmett in charge of the planning”, Justin told me. “But I’m sure he won’t mind having an assistant. You can give him a call and ask him if you like.”
“Cool, I’ll do that”, I said excitedly, thinking I’d call Emmett that same night. I really liked Emmett. He was so much fun to spend time with.
I was so happy. I had never been to a wedding before, and now I was going to be the best woman, plus I was hopefully going to help plan the whole event. And of course, the people who were getting married, were two of my favorite people in the whole world.
My grin was almost as wide as Justin’s.
***
I was fifteen years old when I had to watch Justin and Brian live in different cities and pretend that everything was fine.
So, the wedding didn’t happen.
It really sucked.
I had never been more excited about anything in my life. I spent hours together with Emmett, planning the whole thing. Brian and Justin had smiles on their faces 24/7, and I had never seen them so happy. Mom hardly talked about anything other than the wedding, and after the initial shock, all of Brian and Justin’s friends were happy for them too.
I was so sure everything would be perfect.
But things didn’t go exactly like I hoped, like we all hoped.
I wasn’t present at the rehearsal dinner. I had caught a pretty bad flu, and Mom ordered me to stay in bed so I could get better before the wedding. I protested a little, but I wasn’t too hard to convince. I didn’t want to miss the wedding for anything in the world.
So while I was at home, in bed, Brian and Justin told everyone that there would be no wedding.
Mom was the one who brought the message to me, when she came home in the evening. I still remembered her face when she came into my room where I was lying in bed. She looked so sad.
I was actually more shocked by this than I had been when Justin told me about Brian’s proposal. I had been so sure that they would go through with it. They were both so happy and seemed so absolutely sure that it was what they wanted. There was no doubt in my mind about it.
And now this.
Mom tried to explain it to me. Apparently they had decided that Justin needed to go to New York to give it a shot as an artist. So not only would there be no wedding, but my brother was also moving to New York? Did I mention how much this whole thing sucked?
I asked Justin before he left if this meant that he and Brian had broken up. His answer was “I hope not”.
And then he left, before I got much of an opportunity to talk to him.
The weeks and months went on. Justin settled in New York and I spoke with him at least once a week. He seemed okay, but there was always something in his voice that made me think that he pretended to be happier than what he really was. He seemed almost overly cheerful.
I saw Brian too, and he was all business as usual. He was busy with Kinnetik and the rebuilding of Babylon, and didn’t have time to see me much. I suspected it was more a case of him not wanting to speak to me. He always said that Justin and I were very much alike, including being persistent and stubborn and lacking the ability to leave people alone. And I guess he was right. I know that’s why he tried to avoid me. He knew I wouldn’t give up until he admitted that not being with Justin was killing him.
Because that was exactly what was happening. Not only with Brian, but with Justin too. Being apart was making them both miserable, but they both pretended that everything was fine. It was so frustrating. Anyone could see that they were far from fine.
They saw each other about once I month, I think. Either Justin would come to Pittsburgh for a visit, or Brian would go see him in New York. So they weren’t exactly broken up. But they weren’t really together either. I don’t think anyone really knew what they were.
“Brian really misses you”, I told Justin one afternoon when I was talking to him on the phone. He had called right after I finished dinner, knowing what time Mom and I usually ate.
“I know”, he sighed. “I miss him too.”
“So why can’t you just be together? You both want to”, I said, wanting him to explain to me why it was a good idea that he was in New York, far away from all of us.
“It’s not that easy, Molly.”
“Why not? You’re in love. You miss each other. You want to be together. I don’t see the problem.”
“The problem is that I need to be in New York right now, and he can’t leave Kinnetik.”
“Why do you need to be in New York?” I asked. “Why can’t you paint here? Justin, Brian bought you a house! There’s plenty of room to paint there. I don’t understand how you get anything done in that crappy apartment of yours.”
I’d been to visit Justin about a month earlier, and his apartment in New York wasn’t much better than the one he had here in Pittsburgh for a while. I didn’t understand how anyone could live like that.
I suddenly realized that Justin had gone quiet.
“Justin?” I asked, wondering why he didn’t answer.
“Sorry”, he said. “I was thinking.”
“About what?”
“About... things. Look, Molly, of course I can paint anywhere, but this is where all the agents and the right galleries are. Believe me, sometimes I wonder what’s the point in being here at all, and I just want to go home, but Brian and I agreed that this is the right thing for me. No matter how hard it is to be so far away from Pittsburgh.”
I sighed. I had a feeling that he was trying to convince himself as much as me.
“If you are sure that it’s what you really want”, I said finally, and I didn’t miss the hesitation in his voice before he responded.
“Yes, it’s what I want.”
“Okay”, I said, deciding not to press the issue any further - for now.
“So, what’s new with you?” Justin asked, changing the subject.
For a moment I considered telling him about Danny. Danny was a boy at school, and I had had a serious crush on him for ages. Lately we’d started talking and was getting to know each other, and I was hoping that maybe this meant that things were going in the right direction and that maybe he liked me too.
It felt a bit early to talk about it though, especially with my brother, no matter how close we were. So I decided against it.
“Nothing much”, I replied in stead. “School’s boring, as always.”
“Yeah, what else is new”, Justin said with a little laugh. “But at least Dad backed off about St. James. I’m so relieved you don’t have to go there.”
“I never would have done that”, I assured him. “If Dad had kept insisting on it, I would have told him I would stop visiting him or something. There is no way I’m ever going to set foot in that fucking homophobic school.”
Justin laughed. “Don’t let Mom hear you talk like that. She’ll accuse me and Brian of being bad influences on you.”
“Hah! Have you heard Mom when she’s angry? She’s worse than both of you put together. I think she’s learning from Debbie.”
We talked for a while longer. And when we hung up, I was in a pretty good mood. Justin said he’d be back to visit in two weeks and that he would stay for a week because he and Brian wanted to spend some time at Britin.
I decided to have another talk to Brian before that. Somehow I was going to make sure that those two got back together for real.
***
I am sixteen years old now. And today it’s finally happening.
Today, Justin is finally coming home. For good.
It’s been more than two years since he left for New York. During that time, Justin has been doing well and apparently he is really starting a build a name for himself. I know that he liked New York, and the life he lived there, a lot, but he told me that in the end he had to go after what he really wanted and that wasn’t in New York.
“And you were right, Molly”, he said. “There is no reason why I can’t paint in Pittsburgh.”
“And that took you two years to figure out?” I asked, grinning.
“Well, maybe both Brian and I needed a little push”, he said, his grin as wide as mine.
During Justin’s two years in New York, I had never given up my attempt to get them back together. Every time I talked with either one of them, I would make sure to mention it some way or another, pointing out that I knew how much they missed each other, and that I knew that deep inside, all Justin really wanted was to come home.
“You are both miserable without each other”, I said to Brian one day.
He looked at me with a heavy sigh, and I couldn’t determine whether he was annoyed or amused when he said: “You don’t give up, do you? You really are Justin’s sister.”
I just smiled, deciding to take his comment as a compliment.
I have no idea if my efforts were of any help at all though, and to be honest I don’t really care. What matters is that Justin is finally coming home.
We have been waiting at the airport for more than an hour. Apparently Justin’s flight from New York got delayed, but he should be here any time now. At the last minute, Mom and I decided to come with Brian to pick him up, probably because I wouldn’t stop nagging Mom about it. But I just want Justin to know how happy we all are that he is coming back. That this is his home, that it always has been and always will be.
So now the three of us are standing in terminal building, looking at the crowd of arriving people, trying to spot Justin’s blond head somewhere between them. I’m standing on my tiptoes, almost tripping in anticipation.
I know that Brian and Justin will probably want to go out to Britin after we leave the airport, and that’s okay. They can probably use some time alone together - though I prefer not to think about what they are actually doing when they are alone, because, you know, it’s my brother we’re talking about here. But tomorrow night we are having them over for dinner, and already I can’t wait. Danny will be there too, and I’m really looking forward to introduce him to Justin. It feels somewhat strange that Justin still haven’t met him, because Danny is such a big part of my life now.
Things with Danny turned out a little differently that I expected. When we started to get to know each other a little over a year ago, I was hopeful that the attention he was giving me was a sign of him liking me. My friends definitely thought so. Kristen said it was only a matter of time before we were together and that I was so lucky, because Danny was really cute.
I couldn’t argue with that. Danny was cute. But he was also smart and funny, and really, really nice, and the more I got to know him, the more I liked him. And as time passed, and we spent more and more time together, I was absolutely sure that he liked me too.
So it was a big shock to me the day he told me he was gay. For a moment all I could do was stare at him. Maybe I should have understood it sooner. I mean, we spent so much time together, and yet he never said anything about wanting to be anything other than friends. But I just didn’t see it coming. I was so sure that he liked me. Why else would he spend so much time with me?
He must have misinterpreted my stunned silence, because after a while he got this sad and almost scared look on his face.
“I thought that you, of all people, would understand. I haven’t told a living soul about this, you know.”
What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Me, of all people?
I asked him.
“You’re Justin Taylor’s sister”, he said simply. “Every gay boy in town know about what happened to him at his prom.”
I couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“So, the only reason you have been hanging out with me all this time, is because Justin is my brother?”
“No, of course not”, he said, a little defensively. “When we first started talking, I liked you. I really wanted to be your friend. It was only later I found out that Justin Taylor was your brother. And then I knew that if I was going to tell anyone my secret, you had to be the one I told it to. Because I knew you would understand.”
I didn’t say anything. I was angry and, yeah... hurt.
“Please, Molly”, he pleaded. “The last thing I want is to lose your friendship. It means too much to me.”
It meant a lot to me too. I really didn’t want to lose him.
But it took me some time to get passed the anger and hurt I felt. He had been the only one I had ever had any sort of real feelings for. It was hard to realize that his feelings for me were very different than my own.
But it didn’t take too long before I started seeing things differently. He must really have trusted me in order to tell me that he was gay. He said he hadn’t told anyone else, and I could easily believe that. I met his parents, and they were not the type of people that would be easy to come out to. Neither were his friends. He didn’t have anyone other than me that he could possibly share his secret with. And knowing that I have a gay brother, he must have felt sure that if he told me, I wouldn’t turn my back on him.
And suddenly all I wanted was to let him know that he had been right to trust me. That I would always be there for him, no matter what.
We became best friends after that. Sure, I had my old friends, Kristen in particular, but somehow it was different with Danny. Knowing that he trusted me one hundred percent, made me feel secure enough to tell him anything. And we had so much fun together. It was strange. Even though we had only known each other a short while, I felt like our friendship was something really unique.
I dragged Danny along to meet Brian a while ago. I will never forget the look on his face when his eyes fell on my very hot almost-brother-in-law. To say that he was staring would have been a huge understatement, and I couldn’t stop giggling. Danny looked really embarrassed once he snapped out of his trance-like state, while Brian, on the other hand, just smirked.
“Don’t worry about it”, he told Danny. “Happens all the time.”
I snorted, but I couldn’t help grinning at his smug attitude. And I smiled even wider when took me aside a little later and whispered in my ear: “Good work, Taylor. He is one lucky guy, having you for a fag hag.”
I think that might have been the nicest thing he has ever said to me. I just had to hug him.
My train of thought is interrupted when Mom nudges me and motions to a crowd of people coming towards us. And that’s when I see my brother, pulling a big, blue suitcase with him through the terminal, a big smile on his face. I just want to run straight over and hug him, but I quickly contain my excitement because I think there is someone else he might like to greet first.
And sure enough. As soon as Justin comes close enough to us, he abandons his suitcase, takes a few quick strides and leaps into Brian’s arms. Brian catches him, and then they just stand like that for a long time, hugging and kissing. When they pull back a little, I see Justin whisper something in Brian’s ear, and Brian smiles at him and whispers something back. Then they kiss again, looking like they don’t want to let the other one go, ever. I look at Mom, who wipes a tear from her eye and when our eyes meet she is giving me a smile that I’m sure is matching my own.
When Brian and Justin finally pull back I’m there, embracing Justin and giving him a real bear hug. He hugs me back, and that’s when I feel that finally, everything is how it should be. Ever since I was nine I have wanted my family to be a real family again, and now it feels like things are finally falling into place.
Sure, Dad isn’t here. I hardly see him anymore. He has a new family now, and even though I’m still visiting him sometimes, I find it hard to act natural around him when I know the things he has done to Justin. How can a father push his son away, when all Justin has ever done is falling in love with Brian? It’s all so wrong, and that makes it hard for me to spend time with Dad.
He is not a part of our family anymore. Sometimes it makes me sad, sometimes it makes me cry, but I know that it is his loss. He is the one who won’t get the chance to follow his children’s lives. I have the best family in the world. And if he doesn’t want to be a part of it, well... He doesn’t know what he is missing.
So yes, my family is different than what it once was. But as I’m hugging Justin at the airport, Mom and Brian standing next to us and smiling, I know that I wouldn’t change a thing. My family is exactly how I want it to be.
THE END
*
Fandom: Queer as Folk
Characters/Pairing: Molly, Brian/Justin
Timeline: All seasons, plus post 513
Rating: PG-13ish
Word Count: 11,579 words
Warnings: None
Summary: As Molly Taylor grows up, she starts to rethink who her family really is.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don’t own these characters.
Beta: The fabulous freakykat, thank you so much! Huge thanks also go to akintay and rromantic, for helping me get things right and for being my cheerleaders :)
Author’s Notes: I always thought Molly’s role on the show was much too small, so this is my way of making her play a bigger part in the things that happened. I used my own timeline because the timeline on the show is too confusing to make much sense of.
Written for the Through The Eyes Of... Challenge at neverenough_bj.
Posted in two parts, because it’s too long to post in one entry.
Read the first part here.
WE ARE FAMILY, part 2
I was thirteen years old when Justin went to L.A.
Back when I was eleven, Lindsay told me that once I turned thirteen, she would let me baby-sit Gus for her and Mel sometimes. So the day after my thirteenth birthday, I rang the doorbell at their house, ready to start the job. It was good timing, because Mel was pregnant at the time, and they needed someone to stay with Gus when they had doctor appointments or other things they had to do. I was more than happy to do it. I loved kids. I wanted to work with them when I grew up.
A few months after that, Justin moved to Los Angeles to work on the Rage movie. I was so proud. My brother was living among all the famous people in Hollywood! The girls at school were so jealous. And I made Justin promise me to bring back autographs from every celebrity he met.
But I thought a lot about how Brian was dealing with it. He didn’t say anything of course, and he would kill me if he knew what I was thinking, but I was worried about him being lonely. I knew he didn’t see his family a lot, and even though he had his friends, I figured that with Justin gone, he probably spent a lot of time alone.
I decided to do something about it. So I made it a habit to go visit him at the loft every time I’d been over to baby-sit Gus.
He always made a point out of not needing me to check up on him, but he didn’t look very annoyed when he said it, so I didn’t take it too seriously. And we always had a good time together, so I don’t think he minded all that much. He always asked me how Gus had been acting and how things were at school, and I told him about everything that had happened since the last time I saw him. For some reason it was always so easy to talk to him. Probably because he didn’t talk a lot himself. Mostly he just listened, and let me do the talking. He used to say that when it came to talking, I could match Justin any day. I couldn’t really argue with that.
So I was over at Brian’s one afternoon, sitting on one of the stools by the counter, when I asked him the question I had been thinking about for days, weeks even.
“How do you know if you like boys or girls?”
I really was thinking about it a lot. I found some of the boys at my school really cute, but I also thought some of the girls were really pretty. How could I know what I liked?
Brian was going through some papers on his desk, and didn’t really pay much attention to my question. “You just know”, he replied a little absently, looking at a paper in his hand. Then he looked up at me, and smirked a little. “Believe me, you’ll know.”
“Yeah, but...” I turned a little on the stool. “I’ve tried kissing a boy. And then I kissed a girl, and-“
“You kissed a girl?” Suddenly Brian was looking at me with much more interest.
I shrugged. “Yeah. My friend Kristen and I did it. We just wanted to see what it was like.”
A little smile spread across Brian’s face. “You surprise me, Taylor. So, what was it like? Did you like it?”
“I’m not really sure”, I answered truthfully. “I used to like this guy at school, Jason. And then we were at a birthday party and we kissed, but... I didn’t like it. He was sort of aggressive and tried to shove his tongue into my mouth and I didn’t want that so I sort of pushed him away.” I hesitated, feeling a little sick at the memory. My little crush on Jason ended quite abruptly that night.
“With Kristen it was better”, I continued. “Because we both just wanted to try it, and it was more gentle and all.” I stopped again, blushing. I couldn’t believe I was telling him this. I hadn’t told anyone else. But then again, I’d always felt comfortable confiding in Brian. So I went on. “But it also felt wrong, because she’s, like, my best friend. We giggled so hard afterwards, I don’t think we stopped laughing for ten minutes.”
“Yeah, kissing your best friend is never a good idea”, Brian mumbled, and I wasn’t sure if I was meant to hear it or not. Then he looked at me again, sort of incredulous, like he couldn’t believe we were having this discussion.
“I know it can be confusing at first. But there will come a time when you just know”, Brian said, meeting gaze. “I hope for your sake it’s boys though”, he added, smirking again. “Girls are just too much trouble.”
“Hey!” I said, not sure if I should feel insulted or not.
Brian laughed. “Not you”, he added. “You are one of the few females in the world I can actually tolerate.”
I smiled at that. I knew that coming from Brian, that was a huge compliment.
“Have you talked to Justin?” I asked him suddenly, even though I already knew the answer. I sighed when he started to look at his papers again, obviously wanting to avoid the subject. “I talked to him on the phone yesterday”, I told him. “He really misses you. He kept asking me how you were doing, and said to tell you to return his calls.”
Brian didn’t say anything, and I didn’t expect him to. I knew him pretty well by now.
“Just call him, okay? He really needs you.”
He lifted his eyes to meet mine, and for a while we looked at each other across the room. But then he smirked, and I giggled as I got up to leave. Sometimes he had the most intense stare. No wonder Justin fell in love with him.
“We’ll see”, he said, and I knew there was no room for further discussion so I said goodbye and left to go home. I just hoped he would listen to me.
Five months later, after having kissed Kristen’s cousin’s friend Jimmy, I was one hundred percent certain that I liked boys.
***
I was fourteen year old when Brian proposed to Justin.
I wasn’t expecting it. I don’t think any of us were, maybe not even Brian himself. In the weeks before it happened, he and Justin had been having some problems. I don’t really know what it was all about because neither one of them would talk to me about it, but according to Mom they wanted different things and had decided to end their relationship.
I thought that was stupid. So what if they wanted different things? I knew them well enough to know that the one thing they both wanted more than anything, was to be together. Which is why they shouldn’t let anything stand in the way of that. And wasn’t relationships supposed to be about compromises? That’s what I always heard. If they wanted different things, they should work out something together, something that would make them both happy. I knew that as long as they weren’t together, happiness wouldn’t come to either of them.
I tried telling them that. But of course, they wouldn’t listen to me.
“What makes you think that you have the solution to every fucking problem?” Justin snapped at me when I told him what I thought. He was not in a good place that day. I was helping him with some things in his new apartment - which strictly speaking couldn’t really be called an apartment, it was that disgusting - and while he was unpacking his clothes, he suddenly found one of Brian’s shirts, one that he had accidentally brought along among his own clothes.
He stiffened, and just stared at the shirt for a long time. I pretended to be busy with something else, so he wouldn’t notice me watching him, and therefore he didn’t know that I saw the tears in his eyes as he held the shirt to his face. I wanted to cry myself. This was all just so wrong.
I tried my best to stay out of Justin and Brian’s problems and let them deal with them on their own. It was hard to stand back and just watch them making such a big mistake, but I hoped that something would bring them back together, as it always had in the past.
And then the bombing happened.
I wasn’t there that night. I wanted to go, but as usual when something fun comes along, I was too young to take part in it. I was at home, having two of my friends over for a sleepover, when my Mom and Tucker came home and told me what happened. They didn’t know much at that point, just that it had been an explosion of some kind, and that several people were injured, some even dead.
I could hardly get any words out when I asked about Justin and Brian, and I don’t think I have ever been as relieved as I was when Mom told me they were both okay. Brian hadn’t even been there when the explosion happened, but he came later, and ran straight into the destroyed Babylon to find Justin. Luckily Justin turned out to be unharmed. He was just shaken up and worried about everyone else.
In the middle of everything I couldn’t help thinking how lucky Justin was to have someone who loved him enough to run into a burning building to find him. And those two were supposed to go their separate ways? Yeah, like that would ever really happen.
I asked Mom about all the others that I knew, and she told me everybody was fine... except Michael. He was seriously injured and nobody knew at the time if he would be okay or not.
Luckily he pulled through, and eventually he and Brian sorted out whatever differences they had going between them before the bombing. I still don’t know what that was all about. Nobody ever tells me anything, and it’s so annoying.
Anyway. After all that we were in for a huge surprise.
Justin came over to my and Mom’s place one afternoon when I had just come back from school. The minute I saw him I knew something had happened. He tried to act normal, but he was obviously trying to suppress a smile from breaking out. And he laughed way too loud at one of my stupid jokes. So it didn’t take long before my curiosity got the better of me.
“Okay, Justin, what’s up? Why are you here?”
He looked at me much too innocently. “What makes you think something’s up? Maybe I just wanted to visit my favorite sister.”
Yeah, right.
“Spill”, I told him, as I walked into the kitchen to get some water. Justin followed me.
“Okay”, he said finally, letting out a somewhat nervous breath. “How would you feel about being my best woman?”
I turned to look at him, not having a clue what he was on about.
“Best woman? What are you talking about? What’s that?”
“You know how when guys get married there is always a best man? Well, I thought I’d have a best woman, or whatever it’s called, in stead. Or, two actually.”
What???
“Wait”, I said, as I tried to get my head around what he was saying. Did this mean... No, it couldn’t. There was no way.
“Justin”, I said, staring at him. Now he was no longer able to hide his smile.
“Brian proposed to me”, he beamed. “We’re getting married.”
Oh my God. Oh my God!
“God, Justin!” I practically shrieked as I leaped forward into his arms. He laughed, and wrapped his arms around me, giving me a long hug.
“I can’t believe it”, I said as I pulled back and looked at him. “I just can’t believe it. You two were broken up, and now...” I shook my head in disbelief.
“I know”, he grinned. “I can hardly believe it myself. I thought Brian was joking when he asked me.”
“So how did it happen?” I asked, wanting to know everything.
He smiled again. “Well, first he came to my apartment, and just asked me, right out of the blue. I didn’t think he really meant it. I thought the whole thing with Michael had freaked him out, so I told him no.”
“You said no!?” I asked disbelievingly. How could anyone say no when Brian Kinney proposed?
“I didn’t think he was serious!” Justin said in defense. “Anyway... a few days later he came to get me, and without telling me where we were going, we took off in his car. He brought me to this huge house in West Virginia.”
“Why did he do that?”
“Well...” Justin grinned again, as he shook his head a little. “Turns out he had bought the house for me... for us.”
“He bought you a house?” I asked, not believing my own ears.
“Not just a house”, Justin said. “More like a mansion. With stables, a pool and a tennis court. Just wait until you see it, it’s huge!”
I shook my head again. This was almost too much to take in. “So... what happened next?”
“Well, we went inside, and he brought me to one of the rooms, a beautiful room with a fireplace. And he sort of brought up the marriage thing again... God, the things he said... “ Justin trailed off, smiling as he was consumed with memories.
“Tell me”, I pleaded. “What did he say? Don’t tell me he finally said the L-word?”
Justin grinned. “Oh, he did, but he already said that once before, the night of the bombing. But this time, he said that he wanted to marry me to show me how much he loves me. He said he would do anything to make me happy.”
“Oh my God”, I said again. This was unbelievable. I knew how much Justin wanted Brian to tell him those things.
“I know”, Justin said, smiling as he wrapped his arms around himself for a moment. “ I couldn’t believe it either. But I finally realized that he really meant what he was saying, and that he was serious when he proposed. So I told him I’d marry him.”
I hugged him again. “I’m so happy, Justin!” I beamed at him. “This means Brian will be my brother-in-law! We’ll all be a real family now.”
Speaking of family... I looked up at him. “Have you told Mom yet?”
“Not yet, but I’m going to go find her now. We haven’t really talked much lately because of the whole Tucker thing.”
Yes, I knew about that. Justin was having a hard time accepting that Mom was dating someone so much younger than her, someone who wasn’t much older than himself. And he wasn’t the only one. It had taken me a long time to accept it too. Not only was Tucker almost half her age, he was also one of my teachers. To say that it was awkward at first is a huge understatement.
But I came to terms with it after a while. I hardly spoke to Mom for almost two weeks, but I knew that Tucker was a really nice guy, and I could tell that it was serious between him and Mom. And after practically having grown up seeing Brian and Justin together, I wasn’t unfamiliar with big age differences.
“She will be thrilled”, I smiled, reassuring him in case he was uncertain about how Mom would react. “You know she loves Brian.”
“By the way”, Justin said like he suddenly remembered something. “You didn’t answer my question. Will you be my best woman? I asked Daphne, and she said yes, but I’d really like to have you too.”
I smiled. “Of course I’ll do it. I wouldn’t miss the chance to be a part of your and Brian’s special day.”
I hugged him for the third time since he stepped into the house, and when I pulled back and looked at him, he still had a big smile plastered on his face. I was sure it wouldn’t go away anytime soon.
“This is going to be so much fun”, I exclaimed. “Do you think I can help plan the wedding?”
“We have left Emmett in charge of the planning”, Justin told me. “But I’m sure he won’t mind having an assistant. You can give him a call and ask him if you like.”
“Cool, I’ll do that”, I said excitedly, thinking I’d call Emmett that same night. I really liked Emmett. He was so much fun to spend time with.
I was so happy. I had never been to a wedding before, and now I was going to be the best woman, plus I was hopefully going to help plan the whole event. And of course, the people who were getting married, were two of my favorite people in the whole world.
My grin was almost as wide as Justin’s.
***
I was fifteen years old when I had to watch Justin and Brian live in different cities and pretend that everything was fine.
So, the wedding didn’t happen.
It really sucked.
I had never been more excited about anything in my life. I spent hours together with Emmett, planning the whole thing. Brian and Justin had smiles on their faces 24/7, and I had never seen them so happy. Mom hardly talked about anything other than the wedding, and after the initial shock, all of Brian and Justin’s friends were happy for them too.
I was so sure everything would be perfect.
But things didn’t go exactly like I hoped, like we all hoped.
I wasn’t present at the rehearsal dinner. I had caught a pretty bad flu, and Mom ordered me to stay in bed so I could get better before the wedding. I protested a little, but I wasn’t too hard to convince. I didn’t want to miss the wedding for anything in the world.
So while I was at home, in bed, Brian and Justin told everyone that there would be no wedding.
Mom was the one who brought the message to me, when she came home in the evening. I still remembered her face when she came into my room where I was lying in bed. She looked so sad.
I was actually more shocked by this than I had been when Justin told me about Brian’s proposal. I had been so sure that they would go through with it. They were both so happy and seemed so absolutely sure that it was what they wanted. There was no doubt in my mind about it.
And now this.
Mom tried to explain it to me. Apparently they had decided that Justin needed to go to New York to give it a shot as an artist. So not only would there be no wedding, but my brother was also moving to New York? Did I mention how much this whole thing sucked?
I asked Justin before he left if this meant that he and Brian had broken up. His answer was “I hope not”.
And then he left, before I got much of an opportunity to talk to him.
The weeks and months went on. Justin settled in New York and I spoke with him at least once a week. He seemed okay, but there was always something in his voice that made me think that he pretended to be happier than what he really was. He seemed almost overly cheerful.
I saw Brian too, and he was all business as usual. He was busy with Kinnetik and the rebuilding of Babylon, and didn’t have time to see me much. I suspected it was more a case of him not wanting to speak to me. He always said that Justin and I were very much alike, including being persistent and stubborn and lacking the ability to leave people alone. And I guess he was right. I know that’s why he tried to avoid me. He knew I wouldn’t give up until he admitted that not being with Justin was killing him.
Because that was exactly what was happening. Not only with Brian, but with Justin too. Being apart was making them both miserable, but they both pretended that everything was fine. It was so frustrating. Anyone could see that they were far from fine.
They saw each other about once I month, I think. Either Justin would come to Pittsburgh for a visit, or Brian would go see him in New York. So they weren’t exactly broken up. But they weren’t really together either. I don’t think anyone really knew what they were.
“Brian really misses you”, I told Justin one afternoon when I was talking to him on the phone. He had called right after I finished dinner, knowing what time Mom and I usually ate.
“I know”, he sighed. “I miss him too.”
“So why can’t you just be together? You both want to”, I said, wanting him to explain to me why it was a good idea that he was in New York, far away from all of us.
“It’s not that easy, Molly.”
“Why not? You’re in love. You miss each other. You want to be together. I don’t see the problem.”
“The problem is that I need to be in New York right now, and he can’t leave Kinnetik.”
“Why do you need to be in New York?” I asked. “Why can’t you paint here? Justin, Brian bought you a house! There’s plenty of room to paint there. I don’t understand how you get anything done in that crappy apartment of yours.”
I’d been to visit Justin about a month earlier, and his apartment in New York wasn’t much better than the one he had here in Pittsburgh for a while. I didn’t understand how anyone could live like that.
I suddenly realized that Justin had gone quiet.
“Justin?” I asked, wondering why he didn’t answer.
“Sorry”, he said. “I was thinking.”
“About what?”
“About... things. Look, Molly, of course I can paint anywhere, but this is where all the agents and the right galleries are. Believe me, sometimes I wonder what’s the point in being here at all, and I just want to go home, but Brian and I agreed that this is the right thing for me. No matter how hard it is to be so far away from Pittsburgh.”
I sighed. I had a feeling that he was trying to convince himself as much as me.
“If you are sure that it’s what you really want”, I said finally, and I didn’t miss the hesitation in his voice before he responded.
“Yes, it’s what I want.”
“Okay”, I said, deciding not to press the issue any further - for now.
“So, what’s new with you?” Justin asked, changing the subject.
For a moment I considered telling him about Danny. Danny was a boy at school, and I had had a serious crush on him for ages. Lately we’d started talking and was getting to know each other, and I was hoping that maybe this meant that things were going in the right direction and that maybe he liked me too.
It felt a bit early to talk about it though, especially with my brother, no matter how close we were. So I decided against it.
“Nothing much”, I replied in stead. “School’s boring, as always.”
“Yeah, what else is new”, Justin said with a little laugh. “But at least Dad backed off about St. James. I’m so relieved you don’t have to go there.”
“I never would have done that”, I assured him. “If Dad had kept insisting on it, I would have told him I would stop visiting him or something. There is no way I’m ever going to set foot in that fucking homophobic school.”
Justin laughed. “Don’t let Mom hear you talk like that. She’ll accuse me and Brian of being bad influences on you.”
“Hah! Have you heard Mom when she’s angry? She’s worse than both of you put together. I think she’s learning from Debbie.”
We talked for a while longer. And when we hung up, I was in a pretty good mood. Justin said he’d be back to visit in two weeks and that he would stay for a week because he and Brian wanted to spend some time at Britin.
I decided to have another talk to Brian before that. Somehow I was going to make sure that those two got back together for real.
***
I am sixteen years old now. And today it’s finally happening.
Today, Justin is finally coming home. For good.
It’s been more than two years since he left for New York. During that time, Justin has been doing well and apparently he is really starting a build a name for himself. I know that he liked New York, and the life he lived there, a lot, but he told me that in the end he had to go after what he really wanted and that wasn’t in New York.
“And you were right, Molly”, he said. “There is no reason why I can’t paint in Pittsburgh.”
“And that took you two years to figure out?” I asked, grinning.
“Well, maybe both Brian and I needed a little push”, he said, his grin as wide as mine.
During Justin’s two years in New York, I had never given up my attempt to get them back together. Every time I talked with either one of them, I would make sure to mention it some way or another, pointing out that I knew how much they missed each other, and that I knew that deep inside, all Justin really wanted was to come home.
“You are both miserable without each other”, I said to Brian one day.
He looked at me with a heavy sigh, and I couldn’t determine whether he was annoyed or amused when he said: “You don’t give up, do you? You really are Justin’s sister.”
I just smiled, deciding to take his comment as a compliment.
I have no idea if my efforts were of any help at all though, and to be honest I don’t really care. What matters is that Justin is finally coming home.
We have been waiting at the airport for more than an hour. Apparently Justin’s flight from New York got delayed, but he should be here any time now. At the last minute, Mom and I decided to come with Brian to pick him up, probably because I wouldn’t stop nagging Mom about it. But I just want Justin to know how happy we all are that he is coming back. That this is his home, that it always has been and always will be.
So now the three of us are standing in terminal building, looking at the crowd of arriving people, trying to spot Justin’s blond head somewhere between them. I’m standing on my tiptoes, almost tripping in anticipation.
I know that Brian and Justin will probably want to go out to Britin after we leave the airport, and that’s okay. They can probably use some time alone together - though I prefer not to think about what they are actually doing when they are alone, because, you know, it’s my brother we’re talking about here. But tomorrow night we are having them over for dinner, and already I can’t wait. Danny will be there too, and I’m really looking forward to introduce him to Justin. It feels somewhat strange that Justin still haven’t met him, because Danny is such a big part of my life now.
Things with Danny turned out a little differently that I expected. When we started to get to know each other a little over a year ago, I was hopeful that the attention he was giving me was a sign of him liking me. My friends definitely thought so. Kristen said it was only a matter of time before we were together and that I was so lucky, because Danny was really cute.
I couldn’t argue with that. Danny was cute. But he was also smart and funny, and really, really nice, and the more I got to know him, the more I liked him. And as time passed, and we spent more and more time together, I was absolutely sure that he liked me too.
So it was a big shock to me the day he told me he was gay. For a moment all I could do was stare at him. Maybe I should have understood it sooner. I mean, we spent so much time together, and yet he never said anything about wanting to be anything other than friends. But I just didn’t see it coming. I was so sure that he liked me. Why else would he spend so much time with me?
He must have misinterpreted my stunned silence, because after a while he got this sad and almost scared look on his face.
“I thought that you, of all people, would understand. I haven’t told a living soul about this, you know.”
What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Me, of all people?
I asked him.
“You’re Justin Taylor’s sister”, he said simply. “Every gay boy in town know about what happened to him at his prom.”
I couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“So, the only reason you have been hanging out with me all this time, is because Justin is my brother?”
“No, of course not”, he said, a little defensively. “When we first started talking, I liked you. I really wanted to be your friend. It was only later I found out that Justin Taylor was your brother. And then I knew that if I was going to tell anyone my secret, you had to be the one I told it to. Because I knew you would understand.”
I didn’t say anything. I was angry and, yeah... hurt.
“Please, Molly”, he pleaded. “The last thing I want is to lose your friendship. It means too much to me.”
It meant a lot to me too. I really didn’t want to lose him.
But it took me some time to get passed the anger and hurt I felt. He had been the only one I had ever had any sort of real feelings for. It was hard to realize that his feelings for me were very different than my own.
But it didn’t take too long before I started seeing things differently. He must really have trusted me in order to tell me that he was gay. He said he hadn’t told anyone else, and I could easily believe that. I met his parents, and they were not the type of people that would be easy to come out to. Neither were his friends. He didn’t have anyone other than me that he could possibly share his secret with. And knowing that I have a gay brother, he must have felt sure that if he told me, I wouldn’t turn my back on him.
And suddenly all I wanted was to let him know that he had been right to trust me. That I would always be there for him, no matter what.
We became best friends after that. Sure, I had my old friends, Kristen in particular, but somehow it was different with Danny. Knowing that he trusted me one hundred percent, made me feel secure enough to tell him anything. And we had so much fun together. It was strange. Even though we had only known each other a short while, I felt like our friendship was something really unique.
I dragged Danny along to meet Brian a while ago. I will never forget the look on his face when his eyes fell on my very hot almost-brother-in-law. To say that he was staring would have been a huge understatement, and I couldn’t stop giggling. Danny looked really embarrassed once he snapped out of his trance-like state, while Brian, on the other hand, just smirked.
“Don’t worry about it”, he told Danny. “Happens all the time.”
I snorted, but I couldn’t help grinning at his smug attitude. And I smiled even wider when took me aside a little later and whispered in my ear: “Good work, Taylor. He is one lucky guy, having you for a fag hag.”
I think that might have been the nicest thing he has ever said to me. I just had to hug him.
My train of thought is interrupted when Mom nudges me and motions to a crowd of people coming towards us. And that’s when I see my brother, pulling a big, blue suitcase with him through the terminal, a big smile on his face. I just want to run straight over and hug him, but I quickly contain my excitement because I think there is someone else he might like to greet first.
And sure enough. As soon as Justin comes close enough to us, he abandons his suitcase, takes a few quick strides and leaps into Brian’s arms. Brian catches him, and then they just stand like that for a long time, hugging and kissing. When they pull back a little, I see Justin whisper something in Brian’s ear, and Brian smiles at him and whispers something back. Then they kiss again, looking like they don’t want to let the other one go, ever. I look at Mom, who wipes a tear from her eye and when our eyes meet she is giving me a smile that I’m sure is matching my own.
When Brian and Justin finally pull back I’m there, embracing Justin and giving him a real bear hug. He hugs me back, and that’s when I feel that finally, everything is how it should be. Ever since I was nine I have wanted my family to be a real family again, and now it feels like things are finally falling into place.
Sure, Dad isn’t here. I hardly see him anymore. He has a new family now, and even though I’m still visiting him sometimes, I find it hard to act natural around him when I know the things he has done to Justin. How can a father push his son away, when all Justin has ever done is falling in love with Brian? It’s all so wrong, and that makes it hard for me to spend time with Dad.
He is not a part of our family anymore. Sometimes it makes me sad, sometimes it makes me cry, but I know that it is his loss. He is the one who won’t get the chance to follow his children’s lives. I have the best family in the world. And if he doesn’t want to be a part of it, well... He doesn’t know what he is missing.
So yes, my family is different than what it once was. But as I’m hugging Justin at the airport, Mom and Brian standing next to us and smiling, I know that I wouldn’t change a thing. My family is exactly how I want it to be.
THE END
*