Halcyon days ??
This has been brewing for a while really, but a recent re-visit to a site I was a very active member of wayyyy back has really brought it to the fore for me. And I know you are all thinking "ahhh - UKP", but its not UKP at all, although that has made it all a bit more topical
Nay - the forum in question is a Yahoo group for solitary witches, and at one time it was MASSIVE, with several thousand members and several hundred posts a day - and you name it, it got discussed. Sadly the forum owner just disappeared and gradually it dwindled - but its still there. I 'met' some really interesting and decent people on there - all American. There were discordians, wiccans, newbies, experienced, dragon kin, instinctives - the whole kit and caboodle, and there were arguments and people did take sides, but it was never petty and it was never snarky.
Those were the real halcyon days for me, I think. People could post fluff and nonsense, and instead of being slated for it they were presented with reality - but without being called stupid, or more importantly being made to feel stupid. And people could post about the more blood and bone stuff, and no-one ever started the my witchcrafts better than your witchcraft competition. In other words, everyone was repectful, and if they werent, which did of course happen, it was nipped in the bud with enough cries of "that really wasnt necessary" that the mods rarely had to intervene.
I even took part in a couple of joint workings with these people, which was a really interesting experiment and took alot of planning on all sides due to the time zones we were all in, but all of us came out of it with experiences that linked us, and showed the working had, well...........worked.
I miss it. And reading through the old threads recently made me really realise how much I miss it. But the biggest thing I yearn for - the ability to just be ME online. I am aware that some people view me as being bad tempered and arrogant, and I am aware that some people consider me a fraud PMSL. And I am aware that I can have a sharp tongue and be opinionated - I make no bones about that and often warn people in my intro that I can be opinionated. But what alot of people online who hold these views of me, either conveniently forget, or where so busy being pissed off by me that they never noticed, or maybe just because this side of me doesnt easily translate to online stuff - yes, I can be all those other things, but there is also alot more to me than that. I doubt I would have been asked to be mod on various forums over the years if I wasnt reasonably fair minded and decent.
But on that yahoo site, when I first hit the big wide world of online paganism and witchcraft - I had alot of questions based on what I had read and that not being what I knew, so I asked - some of them were stupid questions - with hindsight, but I was never made to feel stupid. And no-one ever turned round and said "how come you know about that, but dont know about this" it was just accepted that no-one knew everything, nor were they expected to.
Now - to UKP (see I said it was part of it). That was indeed my first home - my first British online home and I loved it there. And I met most of the people on my friends list on there. And all of them are people I admire, like lots and respect. I'm not going to go over old ground here, because it really is past history and the site is now thriving. And its full of interesting topics.
But there is a faction that seem hell bent on causing trouble, this is true, and it seems that wherever I have gone on UK sites there is always a faction that is out to cause trouble and dissent.
I am beginning to think it is a British trait - although I dont know why that should be the case. Maybe the Americans are more able to argue without taking it personally - I just dont know.
But you know, I have been around the online Pagan world for the best part of 10 years now, and seen alot of comings and goings.
But I am not one who 'gets involved' anymore. I did, and I got burned, and it will never happen again. But I do watch and observe, and over the years I have been able to form clear impressions of some people, seen how they manouvre themselves and so been able to gauge what they are really like. I have also seen many people come and go. I have seen people who claim to be the final say in witchcraft, druidry etc etc, come.....and then go. There have been witch wars, druid wars, wars of words and wars of arrogance and ego. There has been wars waged on 'fluffies', wars waged on otherkin, wars waged on behalf of 'real' paganism (no offense intended Amber)
And there has been much behind the scenes sniping and goading and downright nastiness.
And you know what ? It all passes - it blows up, people get hurt, as is often intended, but then it dies down again. But along the way people clam up, they shut down, they leave forums and closet themselves within the groups they know and trust. others closet themselves in with the cronies they know will continue to fuel their ego, forming self appreciation societies.
And I have done some of these - I have withdrawn to a smaller group of people, I have licked wounds, and I have watched friends been pulled apart by what goes on online, and maybe more so - from what happens 'behind the scenes'.
For the most part as pagans, and certainly as witches, we deal with energy - its what we do and what we are. People who cause trouble, in effect, steal our energy. IF we let them. if we let them win online, they have won in real life too.
it's easy to say just walk away, and sometimes its the easiest thing to do - but why the fuck should people walk away from something they are fond of, feel passionate about, or enjoy ??
And while I am at it - why cant some people just accept that there are others out there who are full of fluff ? Or who hold different beliefs ??
Why do some people find others with different ways of doing things so threatening ? because that's what I feel it comes down to - they feel threatened by people who know as much as or more than they do ?
But I guess my biggest point here is - why does everything have to become a war ??
it breaks my heart to see friends torn up over the obscene levels of bitchiness that take place. Pagans seem to think they are so clever, in so many ways - know more, read more, better with words, holier than thou, fluffier, harder, more eco-friendly, more family focussed, more moral, more free thinking, more enlightened.
Nope - the only more that I can see is more full of crap. because every one of us is human.
No-one has the monopoly on any of it. NO-ONE because there will ALWAYS be someone who is more something than you are, or than I am.
And the bullies will win if we let them
And the newbies will know no different if we all walk away
And that, my friends will be the end - game, set and match to the idiots.