Glee | The Home Wall: 6. Home In Your Heart | Brittany (6 of 6)
Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a 2nd cycle, and then a 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th , 12th, 13th, 14th, 15th, 16th, 17th, 18th, 19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 24th, and 25th, 26th, 27th, and 28th cycle. Now cycle 29!
if you have things you would like to see get written, pleeease drop by the suggestion box. The link is further down!
TOP 16, TAKE 2: Okay so a couple cycles back, I did my second 'top of Glee at the moment' cycle. Now since I was still in university and such at the time, those were planned a while back, before the second half of the season every started. This made it that by the time that cycle rolled around I realized that some things had changed... Things were added, removed, bumped up... Point is it didn't really reflect where I was anymore. So I decided 'what the heck, I'll do another one ASAP!' And so here we are :) This is my revised Top 16 (of course I HAD to plan before the finale, so there are still a couple things missing like Samcedes, Unholy Trinity, etc, but let's assume they're there ;) They'll get some love in coming cycles ;)) So off we go!
Coming in at number one... (last two chapters!)
"THE HOME WALL: 6. HOME IN YOUR HEART"
Brittany; Santana, Brittana, New Directions
In an instant it felt like too much. First she had the letter from her mother, the first real one as far as she was concerned, which had left her so filled with joy, if ever harnessed, to power a small town. And now it was another first, one she had wanted so much that it ached… Whatever had made that Santana had only sent vague e-mails so far, she didn’t question it. She knew that wouldn’t have gotten her anywhere. Still she had to wonder both what was taking so long about it, what was keeping her, and what it would take to produce whatever letter she’d finally decide to send. Wanting to experience this with some sort of privacy, she looked around the room. Tessa was back snuggled up against Aimee’s shoulder, as they resumed their movie… They probably couldn’t be moved and, really, Brittany wouldn’t have dreamed of it. Still they could see the way she clutched the envelope, almost protectively.
“What’s that?” Tessa asked.
“Nothing,” Brittany quickly responded, almost at the same time as a solution presented itself. “I have to go… somewhere… Back in a bit,” she told them before ducking out of the room, envelope still firmly in hand. At first she wasn’t sure exactly where she should go, but those things had a way of revealing themselves.
Of all places, she ended up in the library. She went through the stacks, found an isolated spot, and she sat down on the ground, gathering up her knees and staring at the envelope, Santana’s unmistakeable writing on the front… She didn’t know what kind of expectations she’d built up for herself, waiting on this, but her hands were almost shaking as she tore the fold open, grasped the contents. She unfolded the letter, staring without reading at first, but then finally her eyes focused so she could read. Looking at the first line, it looked as though the start of it had been written, erased, and rewritten a few times over.
Okay, so I should have written to you a while ago, feel free to yell at me. It took a while to dawn on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Your not being here, I had no idea that it could feel like this, and now I wish I didn’t. But, alright, so here goes…
Dear Brittany,
That’s how you’re supposed to start these things. Dear Brittany… I miss you. That goes without saying, but I had to say it once. Sitting in Glee Club right now and the wheels are just spinning in mid-air while Rachel argues with Kurt about some solo or another, so here I am, writing to you. This place is like a morning after without you. It was all good while you were there, like a really good buzz where everything was interesting…. But now you’re not there anymore and now it’s like waking up, sober, hung over, and wondering how on earth I ended up here.
Oh, and the new girl, don’t even start me about her! Alexandra… The girl makes Rachel Berry look tame. She says we can call her “Allie, Alex, Lexie, Lexa, Al, anything you like.” I can think of a name or two for her, but I don’t think she’ll like them… She auditioned to be in Cheerios last year, remember? Coach Sylvester asked her if she was raised by circus people and then told her to get out of her gym. I mean, sure, she can dance, but she keeps making this face like she’s trying to scope out every last horny tomcat in the audience, and then has the audacity of saying she’s hotter than me! If she lasts one more week, I will be shocked… because that’ll mean I haven’t gotten her out of there. They can say I just don’t want anyone taking your place, I don’t care… Oh, here we go, now she’s getting in on the argument. She thinks she’s some kind of authority because “my mother runs a dance class.” My father’s a doctor, and you don’t see me offering to do check-ups on… Okay, bad example…
Now that I got that out, let me get to the point, because I may not be there with you physically, but I bet I can figure out where your head’s at right now. I know that for how much I miss you, how much we all miss you, that it’s even worse for you. You’ve always been that girl, you make friends easy, and you don’t let them go. You’ve never had to let them go, because they were always right there with you, in good old Lima, Ohio. Except now you’re hundreds of miles away and you’re scared that you won’t feel them anymore, or that we won’t feel you…
You know all those things we gave you, before you left, those things we gave you to remember us by, each one of us chose them, for you. None of us may have been too anxious to see you go, but you can’t confuse that with not wanting to see you go there, to your school. We’re your friends… me most of all. People have been telling you you’re good your whole life, because they’re not blind, and they can see you. So you’ve got the talent, alright. But there’s more to it than that, there’s so much more to it than that. You can have the fanciest car around, it doesn’t matter one second if you don’t have the right driver at the wheel. It’s your heart, it always was, and I should know because you’ve let me inside it. All those things that make you who you are, as a person and as a dancer, they’re exactly why you need to be there. Don’t worry about us. Think of those presents we gave you, not just as memories but as a part of us, that we sent with you. Everyone else, I’m sure they’ve told you, how much they miss you, like you miss us, but probably none of them said that it was okay, that we were supposed to miss each other…
But you’ll make it through, I know you will. You’re a lot stronger than you probably think you are, and your brain and your heart may be in a complete state of confusion over being away right now, but your feet always find the ground while you’re dancing, and they will with this, too. It’ll get better once we can start seeing each other again, like on holidays, or over the summer, or on visits like this Friday. Right now it probably seems like so much because you’re still in that first stretch, where you haven’t seen anyone in a while. But it will get better, I promise you. So don’t lose hope, we’re all still with you and we’ll always be proud to count you as one of us.
I also promise you won’t have to wait so long for another letter, okay?
All my love,
Santana
She was crying. It took her a few seconds after she’d finished reading to realize it. And it took a few seconds more to realize that they weren’t tears of sadness, not like they had been a few days before, no… Joy, one hundred percent tears of joy, washing out all the agony she had felt, leaving her as much herself as she could ever be. Next to her mother, and her grandfather, her family by blood, it had been leaving her that had been the hardest. But to read those words, to have her be the one to make her understand all the things she’d been struggling so hard to grasp these last couple of weeks, it made her eternally more grateful that she was part of her life. It still wasn’t the easiest thing to figure out where they stood with each other, but no matter what, if there was one thing she could be secure in, it was the fact that they loved one another and…
She looked back down to the letter, read again… on visits like this Friday… But, today was Friday, then…
She startled, scrambling to get back on her feet as she hurried to - carefully- refold the letter, place it in the envelope. She knew she wasn’t supposed to run in the library, but she at least moved with a walk as close to a run as she could achieve while still being able to call it walking. The moment she’d passed the doors though, she was a bullet, precise and swift, on a course that would take her out into the courtyard, over to her building, through the door, up the stairs - forget the elevator, she was faster - down the halls, to her door and…
When she opened the door, she could already hear the hum of voices, so many voices, and as soon as one of them saw her, everyone burst with loudness, calling her name as she beamed and moved to be taken in by all their arms… There they were, eleven of them, her club…
The next few minutes were just a jumble of hugs, and tears, and loud, incomprehensible words as they greeted one another. She barely had time to register that she’d had a moment with one of them that she was already in the next one’s arms, and it began all over again. But with every new embrace, the weight of these last few weeks began to lift away, just like Santana had said in her letter, she just had to see them, and… Santana… She found her last, in the group, and it was just as well, because she held on to her the longest.
As the initial shock of their arrival, crowding the room, began to wear off - though her heart was still leaping and leaping - the rest of the group was offered a tour by Tessa and Aimee, who had looked back to Brittany and Santana on the way out, with a look of something like recognition. Brittany had needed the moment, to recover from the emotions, but she wasn’t about to let Santana get out of her sights just yet… After all, she had a letter to reply to…
“Come here,” Brittany told her, climbing up to the top bunk.
“Is this thing solid?” Santana asked, hesitating.
“It’s wood,” Brittany peaked down, and it got a smile out of her visitor… So she climbed up with her, as the blonde showed her the letters, the pictures. She put Santana’s letter right next to her mother’s, in plain sight. Then she looked above their heads, to the photo booth-like pictures. “You did this, didn’t you?” she told her what she’d guessed. Santana smiled, nodding. “Thanks.”
“Happy to do it,” she bowed her head. There was a moment of silence, looking to one another, and Santana looked to the letter she’d just put on the wall. “So…” she started to ask. Brittany smiled.
“I’m staying,” she confirmed. Santana gave another quiet nod. Brittany could still see it in her eyes, the way it was even as her being at this school was still just a possibility, an audition… that she was swallowing back her own sorrow for her sake. She wrapped her arms around Santana, again, but not like before. This wasn’t ‘hello, I’ve missed you.’ This was ‘I hurt, too.’ This was ‘I love you, too.’
THE END
* IN CONSTRUCTION! *
PREVIOUS DAYS
[Cycle 01] [Cycle 02] [Cycle 03] [Cycle 04] [Cycle 05]
[Cycle 06] [Cycle 07] [Cycle 08] [Cycle 09] [Cycle 10]
[Cycle 11] [Cycle 12] [Cycle 13] [Cycle 14] [Cycle 15]
[Cycle 16] [Cycle 17] [Cycle 18] [Cycle 19] [Cycle 20]
[Cycle 21] [Cycle 22] [Cycle 23] [Cycle 24] [Cycle 25]
[Cycle 26] [Cycle 27] [Cycle 28]
[Cycle 29]
[589] [590] [591] [592] [593]
[594] [595] [596] [597] [598]
[599] [600] [601] [602] [603]
[604] [605] [606] [607] [608]
Suggestion Drop Off
Title: "The Home Wall: 6. Home In Your Heart"
Pairing: Brittany; Santana, Brittana, New Directions
Rating: G
Summary: Now that she's in Boston, she can't wait to get letters from home and reply to them.
Spoilers: None really, AU-ish
if you have things you would like to see get written, pleeease drop by the suggestion box. The link is further down!
TOP 16, TAKE 2: Okay so a couple cycles back, I did my second 'top of Glee at the moment' cycle. Now since I was still in university and such at the time, those were planned a while back, before the second half of the season every started. This made it that by the time that cycle rolled around I realized that some things had changed... Things were added, removed, bumped up... Point is it didn't really reflect where I was anymore. So I decided 'what the heck, I'll do another one ASAP!' And so here we are :) This is my revised Top 16 (of course I HAD to plan before the finale, so there are still a couple things missing like Samcedes, Unholy Trinity, etc, but let's assume they're there ;) They'll get some love in coming cycles ;)) So off we go!
Coming in at number one... (last two chapters!)
"THE HOME WALL: 6. HOME IN YOUR HEART"
Brittany; Santana, Brittana, New Directions
In an instant it felt like too much. First she had the letter from her mother, the first real one as far as she was concerned, which had left her so filled with joy, if ever harnessed, to power a small town. And now it was another first, one she had wanted so much that it ached… Whatever had made that Santana had only sent vague e-mails so far, she didn’t question it. She knew that wouldn’t have gotten her anywhere. Still she had to wonder both what was taking so long about it, what was keeping her, and what it would take to produce whatever letter she’d finally decide to send. Wanting to experience this with some sort of privacy, she looked around the room. Tessa was back snuggled up against Aimee’s shoulder, as they resumed their movie… They probably couldn’t be moved and, really, Brittany wouldn’t have dreamed of it. Still they could see the way she clutched the envelope, almost protectively.
“What’s that?” Tessa asked.
“Nothing,” Brittany quickly responded, almost at the same time as a solution presented itself. “I have to go… somewhere… Back in a bit,” she told them before ducking out of the room, envelope still firmly in hand. At first she wasn’t sure exactly where she should go, but those things had a way of revealing themselves.
Of all places, she ended up in the library. She went through the stacks, found an isolated spot, and she sat down on the ground, gathering up her knees and staring at the envelope, Santana’s unmistakeable writing on the front… She didn’t know what kind of expectations she’d built up for herself, waiting on this, but her hands were almost shaking as she tore the fold open, grasped the contents. She unfolded the letter, staring without reading at first, but then finally her eyes focused so she could read. Looking at the first line, it looked as though the start of it had been written, erased, and rewritten a few times over.
Okay, so I should have written to you a while ago, feel free to yell at me. It took a while to dawn on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Your not being here, I had no idea that it could feel like this, and now I wish I didn’t. But, alright, so here goes…
Dear Brittany,
That’s how you’re supposed to start these things. Dear Brittany… I miss you. That goes without saying, but I had to say it once. Sitting in Glee Club right now and the wheels are just spinning in mid-air while Rachel argues with Kurt about some solo or another, so here I am, writing to you. This place is like a morning after without you. It was all good while you were there, like a really good buzz where everything was interesting…. But now you’re not there anymore and now it’s like waking up, sober, hung over, and wondering how on earth I ended up here.
Oh, and the new girl, don’t even start me about her! Alexandra… The girl makes Rachel Berry look tame. She says we can call her “Allie, Alex, Lexie, Lexa, Al, anything you like.” I can think of a name or two for her, but I don’t think she’ll like them… She auditioned to be in Cheerios last year, remember? Coach Sylvester asked her if she was raised by circus people and then told her to get out of her gym. I mean, sure, she can dance, but she keeps making this face like she’s trying to scope out every last horny tomcat in the audience, and then has the audacity of saying she’s hotter than me! If she lasts one more week, I will be shocked… because that’ll mean I haven’t gotten her out of there. They can say I just don’t want anyone taking your place, I don’t care… Oh, here we go, now she’s getting in on the argument. She thinks she’s some kind of authority because “my mother runs a dance class.” My father’s a doctor, and you don’t see me offering to do check-ups on… Okay, bad example…
Now that I got that out, let me get to the point, because I may not be there with you physically, but I bet I can figure out where your head’s at right now. I know that for how much I miss you, how much we all miss you, that it’s even worse for you. You’ve always been that girl, you make friends easy, and you don’t let them go. You’ve never had to let them go, because they were always right there with you, in good old Lima, Ohio. Except now you’re hundreds of miles away and you’re scared that you won’t feel them anymore, or that we won’t feel you…
You know all those things we gave you, before you left, those things we gave you to remember us by, each one of us chose them, for you. None of us may have been too anxious to see you go, but you can’t confuse that with not wanting to see you go there, to your school. We’re your friends… me most of all. People have been telling you you’re good your whole life, because they’re not blind, and they can see you. So you’ve got the talent, alright. But there’s more to it than that, there’s so much more to it than that. You can have the fanciest car around, it doesn’t matter one second if you don’t have the right driver at the wheel. It’s your heart, it always was, and I should know because you’ve let me inside it. All those things that make you who you are, as a person and as a dancer, they’re exactly why you need to be there. Don’t worry about us. Think of those presents we gave you, not just as memories but as a part of us, that we sent with you. Everyone else, I’m sure they’ve told you, how much they miss you, like you miss us, but probably none of them said that it was okay, that we were supposed to miss each other…
But you’ll make it through, I know you will. You’re a lot stronger than you probably think you are, and your brain and your heart may be in a complete state of confusion over being away right now, but your feet always find the ground while you’re dancing, and they will with this, too. It’ll get better once we can start seeing each other again, like on holidays, or over the summer, or on visits like this Friday. Right now it probably seems like so much because you’re still in that first stretch, where you haven’t seen anyone in a while. But it will get better, I promise you. So don’t lose hope, we’re all still with you and we’ll always be proud to count you as one of us.
I also promise you won’t have to wait so long for another letter, okay?
All my love,
Santana
She was crying. It took her a few seconds after she’d finished reading to realize it. And it took a few seconds more to realize that they weren’t tears of sadness, not like they had been a few days before, no… Joy, one hundred percent tears of joy, washing out all the agony she had felt, leaving her as much herself as she could ever be. Next to her mother, and her grandfather, her family by blood, it had been leaving her that had been the hardest. But to read those words, to have her be the one to make her understand all the things she’d been struggling so hard to grasp these last couple of weeks, it made her eternally more grateful that she was part of her life. It still wasn’t the easiest thing to figure out where they stood with each other, but no matter what, if there was one thing she could be secure in, it was the fact that they loved one another and…
She looked back down to the letter, read again… on visits like this Friday… But, today was Friday, then…
She startled, scrambling to get back on her feet as she hurried to - carefully- refold the letter, place it in the envelope. She knew she wasn’t supposed to run in the library, but she at least moved with a walk as close to a run as she could achieve while still being able to call it walking. The moment she’d passed the doors though, she was a bullet, precise and swift, on a course that would take her out into the courtyard, over to her building, through the door, up the stairs - forget the elevator, she was faster - down the halls, to her door and…
When she opened the door, she could already hear the hum of voices, so many voices, and as soon as one of them saw her, everyone burst with loudness, calling her name as she beamed and moved to be taken in by all their arms… There they were, eleven of them, her club…
The next few minutes were just a jumble of hugs, and tears, and loud, incomprehensible words as they greeted one another. She barely had time to register that she’d had a moment with one of them that she was already in the next one’s arms, and it began all over again. But with every new embrace, the weight of these last few weeks began to lift away, just like Santana had said in her letter, she just had to see them, and… Santana… She found her last, in the group, and it was just as well, because she held on to her the longest.
As the initial shock of their arrival, crowding the room, began to wear off - though her heart was still leaping and leaping - the rest of the group was offered a tour by Tessa and Aimee, who had looked back to Brittany and Santana on the way out, with a look of something like recognition. Brittany had needed the moment, to recover from the emotions, but she wasn’t about to let Santana get out of her sights just yet… After all, she had a letter to reply to…
“Come here,” Brittany told her, climbing up to the top bunk.
“Is this thing solid?” Santana asked, hesitating.
“It’s wood,” Brittany peaked down, and it got a smile out of her visitor… So she climbed up with her, as the blonde showed her the letters, the pictures. She put Santana’s letter right next to her mother’s, in plain sight. Then she looked above their heads, to the photo booth-like pictures. “You did this, didn’t you?” she told her what she’d guessed. Santana smiled, nodding. “Thanks.”
“Happy to do it,” she bowed her head. There was a moment of silence, looking to one another, and Santana looked to the letter she’d just put on the wall. “So…” she started to ask. Brittany smiled.
“I’m staying,” she confirmed. Santana gave another quiet nod. Brittany could still see it in her eyes, the way it was even as her being at this school was still just a possibility, an audition… that she was swallowing back her own sorrow for her sake. She wrapped her arms around Santana, again, but not like before. This wasn’t ‘hello, I’ve missed you.’ This was ‘I hurt, too.’ This was ‘I love you, too.’
THE END
* IN CONSTRUCTION! *
PREVIOUS DAYS
[Cycle 01] [Cycle 02] [Cycle 03] [Cycle 04] [Cycle 05]
[Cycle 06] [Cycle 07] [Cycle 08] [Cycle 09] [Cycle 10]
[Cycle 11] [Cycle 12] [Cycle 13] [Cycle 14] [Cycle 15]
[Cycle 16] [Cycle 17] [Cycle 18] [Cycle 19] [Cycle 20]
[Cycle 21] [Cycle 22] [Cycle 23] [Cycle 24] [Cycle 25]
[Cycle 26] [Cycle 27] [Cycle 28]
[Cycle 29]
[589] [590] [591] [592] [593]
[594] [595] [596] [597] [598]
[599] [600] [601] [602] [603]
[604] [605] [606] [607] [608]
Suggestion Drop Off
Title: "The Home Wall: 6. Home In Your Heart"
Pairing: Brittany; Santana, Brittana, New Directions
Rating: G
Summary: Now that she's in Boston, she can't wait to get letters from home and reply to them.
Spoilers: None really, AU-ish