Birth Story...aka the failed homebirth.

[moondrunk]

First, thank you for all the congratulations and well wishes. I wish I could reply to them all but I decided most of you were probably more interested in what's below.

I've cut this into sections. A lot of it is angsty; I did not get the birth I wanted, or anything close, and that hurts.

Comments

[barbarafunmouse]

I hope those nurses are being prepped for surgery because they surely need their head removed from their ass. Frankly, the entire dumbshow they put on completely justified why you wanted a home birth! ... and you're hearing that from ME of all people.

Honey, I can't begin to understand what you went through and I wouldn't be so presumptuous to think I could. /Just/ reading that I got so mad, upset, and cried. I am speechless at the amount of insanity, disrespect, and pure stupidity. My heart pains for you and I know it's nothing in comparison to what you are feeling. I send you so much strength to pull through this, to somehow over come it. You are an amazing person and I know you will- in your own time. Not that you need anyone to justify your feelings, but you are *totally* justified. It's not PPD. You do need to grieve over this. It is healthy and it is understandable to anyone that has any understanding of healthy child birth (no matter what kind of healthy child birth one chooses... I don't want anyone thinking that I'm saying there's only one way, or what way that one way is).

{{{sending you the warmest hugs}}}}

[moondrunk]

*hugs* This is what I wanted to tell you about when I had to run to take care of Lily the other night.

I think you nailed it. If I had planned the c, I'd be okay. Or even had some warning it might be coming - I'd have been disappointed, but not so shocked. I don't judge anyone who has had to have a csection - it just wasn't what I thought I was getting into.

Your comment also means a lot to me, as I know your feelings on homebirth. *hugs* Thank you.