"Or are ya chicken?" PG-13 (Ryan/Esposito) 26/02/11
Title: Or are ya chicken?
Author: moondreams87
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Esposito/Ryan
Warnings: None, really…some language
Word Count: 7,208
Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own Castle and the characters therein. This is just the product of an overactive imagination…
Summary: A game of “gay chicken” soon has the 12th abuzz…much to the confusion of the participants.
Author’s Note: Written for this prompt at castlekink . This is my first attempt at a Castle fic, please be gentle! There are so many good writers for this pairing but I couldn’t resist, I was already writing it in my head while reading the prompt. Also, I have made Jenny non-existent, apologies for that but it’s long enough as it is without figuring out what to do about her!
EDIT: Oh my god, you guys! I wasn't even aware of a Castle Fic Awards but I won for this fic in the Ryan/Esposito category! Insanity. I'm very grateful to anyone who nominated/voted for this fic, it means a lot to me :D
It wasn’t unusual. In fact, it was actually becoming more and more of a regular occurrence. In the company of others, it would always be just a simple wager or maybe the occasional double down but when it was just the two of them, they would tend to settle things in a slightly different way.
“Gay chicken?” Ryan had said, an eyebrow raised at his partners suggestion.
“Right. Both lean in and the first one to back down loses.” Esposito said matter-of-factly, like there was nothing remotely weird about doing such a thing. But, never one to turn down a challenge, Ryan accepted the new form of settling quarrels with ease.
It had been going on for nearly 6 months now and Ryan was getting a little peeved that he hardly ever won. In fact, if he could trust his inebriated memories, the only times he’d ever won was when he was drunk. He apparently lost what few inhibitions he had and wouldn’t back down, forcing Esposito to pull back…Though he could swear that the man always looked a little conflicted by it. Probably just a sore loser, much like himself.
But today, no, he was gonna win today! He didn’t even care that they were in the break room where anyone could just walk in and see them, his losing streak had gone on long enough.
It was the closest they had ever gotten, mere inches between them, eyes fixed on each other as they always were, just daring the other to close the gap or dart away. It felt like hours they were like that, Ryan’s breath ghosting over Esposito’s lips, causing his partner to flinch slightly but not enough to back away, their hands placed firmly on the surface below them.
It was getting to the point that Ryan couldn’t even remember what had instigated it this time. It used to be for vaguely important things like who would be buying at the Shake Shack that night or who had to stay sober as designated driver but then they started using it to solve who would be hosting Madden night that week or even who would drive to the next crime scene. But, that wasn’t so weird, was it?
A noise broke Ryan’s concentration and he suddenly pulled back, glaring at the empty doorway. Did he just see a shadow?
“Ha, triumphant again!” Esposito said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. But Ryan was still looking at the doorway, small creases in his brow.
“You hear that? You don’t think someone saw, do you?” OK, apparently he did care that they were in the break room where anyone could just walk in and see them. Blue eyes highlighted with a tinge of panic turned to his partner who just scoffed.
“Whatever, bro. You ain’t gettin’ out of it that easy. Now make that coffee.”
Right, that was it. Who was going to make the coffee…“You know, we could’ve had the coffee by now,” Ryan replied sulkily, even while turning his attention to the machine and making them. He didn’t notice Esposito quickly peek out the door just to be sure…
~*~
He could feel eyes on him as he sat in his office, typing away on his laptop. But he had learned not to push, to wait until she said whatever it was she wanted to say.
Alexis tapped a pen on her notebook, surreptitiously looking between her homework and her father, trying to find the appropriate words to voice her thoughts.
“Dad?”
“Mmm?”
“…Nothing.” She went back to the tapping, a little faster and more agitated than before, frowning at the words in front of her without actually reading them.
Castle remained silent, despite the surge of worry that overcame him over what she might be hiding. Mere moments later, she spoke up again.
“Dad?”
“Yeah, pumpkin?
“…Is anyone at the 12th together. You know, like a couple?” She tried to sound casual but it was obvious she was fishing for information. Colour him intrigued.
His attention shifted from the laptop to Alexis, “Not that I know of, why? You know something?” At the sheepish look he received, his curious look changed as his eyes narrowed, tone becoming serious. “It’s not Beckett, is it?”
“No, dad-“
“Cos you’d tell me, right? If you knew something-“
“Dad! It’s not Detective Beckett!” Castle seemed to relax a little before an all too mischievous smile crept across his lips.
“So, who is it?”
Suddenly realising that she probably should have kept her mouth shut, she just shook her head, putting on a cheery smile accompanied with a shrug. “No-one, I was just curious.”
“Uh-huh,” was all the response she received. Knowing that her resolve was no match for his pestering (seriously, he could get information out of people just by looking at them for long enough), she grabbed up her homework and went up to her room.
Castle was frequently confused and surprised by his daughter, but one thing he certainly knew about her was that she hated keeping secrets from him. Martha always said it was some kind of brainwashing he’d managed to pull off while she was growing up, a feat he was quite proud of, actually.
So, he waited. Half an hour. An hour. Two hours…Hm, it must be quite the juicy story if she’s keeping it to herself this long. Three hours. Four hours...Just when he was beginning to think she had surprised him yet again, she came down the stairs in her PJ’s, a sullen look on her face that didn’t suit her usually carefree exterior.
Knowing how to play it, Castle stayed captivated by his laptop, not even glancing up to acknowledge her presence.
With a slight huff, Alexis broke the silence, “It was Detective Esposito and Detective Ryan, OK?”
In a split second, Castle’s face went from “engrossed-in-work” to absolute manic glee, eyes positively sparkling with delight.
“I knew it!” He exclaimed, complete with an air fist pump.
“Please don’t tell anyone!” Alexis started to beg as she approached the desk before frowning, “Wait, you knew?”
“Well…I accurately surmised. Come on, you can’t tell me you didn’t see it?”
Now that she thought about it, she wasn’t so much surprised at the idea, more at being faced with it. They did spend an inordinate amount of time together, probably more so than a lot of couples now that she thought about it.
“Wait,” Castle’s voice interrupted her thoughts as she looked at his confused expression, “what did you see?”
“Huh?”
“I mean, how do you know they’re…y’know?”
“Oh! Well, I came by the station to ask you something about school which isn’t even relevant now because I looked into it a bit more and it wasn’t what I thought anyway but I wanted to run it by you and-“ Castle raised an eyebrow in a gesture that spoke volumes, setting her back on track, “-Right, anyway, I couldn’t find you or Detective Beckett so I went by the coffee machine and they were there…” She made a smushing motion with her hands, causing his eyes to go wide.
“They were kissing?”
“Well, not quite-“ But Castle wasn’t even listening anymore, his mind in overdrive.
“I don’t believe it! Right there in the precinct…I gotta tell Beckett.”
“No! Dad, I don’t think anyone’s supposed to know!”
“But-“ He started, incredulously but stopped in his tracks at The Look he got from Alexis, hands on hips, eyebrows raised. With a sigh, he admitted defeat. “Fine. Our little secret.”
“Thanks, Dad.” With a quick kiss on the cheek, she returned to her room leaving Castle to dwell on the new development.
~*~
It was painful.
Castle sat in his self-designated seat beside Beckett’s desk just watching. Watching the subtle touches, the slight invasion of personal space, the seamless thought processes leading to the finishing of each other’s sentences…
Castle was physically having to restrain himself, hand planted firmly over his mouth to stop him from jumping up and pointing with an exclamation of ‘See! See!’ to the entire department. He knew he looked suspicious, any time either of the detectives glanced over at him, he instantly busied himself with something making him just seem all the more guilty.
It’s not like he promised Alexis he’d keep quiet…surely if he chose his confidant carefully, there wouldn’t be an issue, right?
As if on cue, Beckett rounded the corner, clearly on a mission. Castle rose from his seat, instantly going to say something but was quickly silenced by The Look (what was it with these women and their looks?), sitting back down again as she did the same.
“What’s up?”
“The ballistic report came back. We just lost our only suspect. Now, we’re back to square one.” She glared at the case notes in front of her, wishing for them to reveal all the answers but they hadn’t so far and had no intention to now.
Breaking the heavy silence, Beckett’s desk phone rang.
“Beckett…Alright, we’ll be right down.” Beckett put the phone back on the receiver, gathering up some of the papers and her cell as she started to walk away, closely followed by the writer, as always.
“Lanie’s found something, wants us to go down and check it out,” she said as she walked past the other two detectives.
“Man, there’s no end to this case,” Esposito responded with disdain.
“Aw, what’s the matter, Espo? Not up to the challenge?” Ryan said with a quick wink, eliciting nothing but a soft chuckle from his partner. Esposito gave a gentle push on the small of his back for him to follow Beckett who hadn’t even stopped in her tracks, which he responded to by jogging after her.
Everything so indirect and casual to the average observer. But not to Castle. They might as well have been yelling out to the whole precinct “Yeah, we’re together, deal with it!”
“Castle!” Esposito’s voice suddenly shook him out of his thoughts as he realised he was still standing motionless, probably a slightly gormless expression on his face.
Esposito was looking back at him with a frown, Castle was usually stuck to Beckett’s side, wanting new information instantly. Something was up with him this morning…He didn’t like it.
“You comin’?” He asked, cautiously.
“Sure! Right, yeah, lead the way!”
~*~
It was getting worse.
He just couldn’t stop watching them; hazards of the trade, he guessed. He always had a habit of picking up on little things and trying to make them into stories and his brain was having an absolute field day.
A quick touch here, a nudge there…Was he really the only one seeing this? Was no-one else seeing the way they both had each other’s rapt attention when they were talking, the way they teased and yet somehow reinforced each other at the same time? And did Esposito just glare at him for mocking Ryan’s theory that voodoo was somehow involved in the case?
“What’s the big secret, Castle?” Lanie’s voice made Castle physically jump and, looking around, he realised the detectives had left and he hadn’t even noticed, so caught up in his own little investigation.
“What?”
Lanie raised an eyebrow at him, giving a heavy sigh, “You don’t usually stick around and you didn’t ask a single question the whole time you were down here. Plus it looks like that pretty head of yours is gonna explode. Got somethin’ you wanna share?”
“I made a promise not to tell anyone…”
She just shrugged as she turned her back on him, going over her notes, “OK, then.”
“Well, not so much a promise as my word.”
“Fine by me.”
“Aw, come on, you’re meant to interrogate me!”
Turning back around, she looked at the frustrated man dubiously, “Excuse me?”
“I always crack under pressure. If you force it out of me, it won’t be my fault and I remain innocent!”
“I think you’re innocence was lost years ago,” but seeing the pleading figure in front of her, she just rolled her eyes (a gesture she was sure she never used before meeting Castle) and gave in, “Alright…tell me the secret or I’ll tell Beckett that you sabotaged her last date by telling him on the phone that she’d emigrated to Singapore.”
“Ooh, well played Miss Parish,” he replied, a wicked smirk on his face. He leaned in conspiratorially, Lanie instinctively moving to close the gap.
“Ryan and Esposito are together.”
There was an elongated silence with Lanie watching Castle carefully, waiting for the punchline. When there wasn’t one, she pulled back, moving back to her work.
“No.”
“No? What do you mean, no? It’s true! You can’t see it?”
“I haven’t been able to unsee it since ‘Heat Wave’! Seriously, Castle, could you have written any more subtext there?”
“Hey, I just write what I see,” his eyes suddenly lit up and Lanie knew that was trouble, “Maybe in ‘Naked Heat’ I can just make it text.”
“I’m sure that would go down like a lead balloon with the ‘Raley’ and ‘Ochoa’.” Another pause where Castle was met with a thoughtful frown, “You’re serious? I mean, they’re really a couple? How would you even know this?”
“I have eyes everywhere. Trust me, it’s on good authority. Now you know why it was eating at me so much.”
She hummed in agreement, thinking things over, realising that it actually made a lot of sense. All the things she’d blamed on ‘Roach’ for making her see, now it didn’t seem so unlikely that it hadn’t always been there.
“You’re new book’s gonna be called ‘Naked Heat’?” She said, suddenly. Castle looked back at her sheepishly, having hoped that she’d miss that point.
“Kinda.”
“Beckett know?”
“Nope. And I would like it to remain that way as long as possible.” He pressed his palms together, begging her to keep it quiet.
“Alright, Castle. But you better hope I’m better in interrogation than you are.”
He gave a slew of thank you’s as he left the lab, catching up to Beckett and the murder investigation.
Moments later, Perlmutter came in looking for some chemical solution. After some brief consideration, Lanie decided to come clean with her colleague.
“You were right.” She wouldn’t look at him and he didn’t take his attention away from the bottles on the shelves.
“Not surprising, but about what, exactly?”
“Ryan and Esposito.”
Still, he didn’t look at her as he reached for one of the smaller containers, checking the label. “Told you. I don’t see how it was every up for debate. But, I suppose you see more of Beckett and Castle on the field. I get stuck with Laurel and Hardy. Buying each other coffees, pulling each other’s pigtails...Give me a rotting corpse any day, those two are what make me gag.”
What a romantic, Lanie thought to herself. Before she could say anything further, he left without so much as a goodbye and she hoped to god that being around dead bodies for a living didn’t strip her of her social skills too.
In the silence of the lab, she continued to think about the new development and wondered how many other people knew…and how many would know now that Castle was on the case.
~*~
Ryan was barrelling through the precinct, phone records in hand as he made his way over to the murder board. But with every step, he noticed the weird looks, the whispering and the awkward movement of people who hadn’t meant to be caught staring. He began to slow down until he completely came to a stop.
“What’s up, bro?” Esposito’s voice caught him off guard, not realising he’d stopped right in front of his desk. He was looking at him with what started out as amusement but when he took in his partners confused expression, his own grew concerned. “Seriously, what’s up?”
“Do I have a sign on my back or something?” Ryan asked, turning round for Esposito to look. An opportunity that the seated man most certainly did not take to check out his partner’s ass. Nope, not at all.
“Everything looks good to me, man,” he responded, casually, leaning back in his chair a little more.
“Then why do I feel like I’m back in high school? People talking about me behind my back?” Esposito had to bite back a smile as his partner practically pouted as he seated himself on the desk.
“Figures you’d be the school dork,” Esposito chided, but softened the insult with a grin.
“Yeah, well, we can’t all be the popular jock now, can we?”
“Guess not.” He stretched out, proudly, placing both hands behind his head.
Disapproving of Esposito’s egotistical attitude, Ryan placed a foot on his chair in-between his legs and kicked it, making him roll backwards. Acting on reflex, Esposito grabbed Ryan’s ankle but something stopped his chair dead making it topple over taking him with it, his grip on Ryan increasing and dragging the unsuspecting cop off the desk to join him and the chair in a heap on the floor.
After the few seconds it took for them to realise what had happened, they began disentangling themselves, brushing off lint, real and imaginary to save face.
“You good?” Esposito asked, with a light cough.
“Yeah, you? Ryan asked as he stood up, holding out a hand for his partner.
When no reply was forth-coming, Ryan looked at him to see the suspicious look on his face. Following his gaze, he saw that several people had stopped in their tracks to watch them, whispering amongst themselves but once they realised both were watching them, everyone suddenly had somewhere to be, vacating the area in an instant.
“Something’s up…”
“I told ya,” Ryan said, with a nod, “Who do you think would know?” They both looked at each other, reading each other’s minds as they so often did, both stating at the same time, “Castle.”
~*~
As soon as Castle turned the corner, he automatically wanted to turn tail and run when he saw a pair of miffed detectives heading straight for him.
“Break room. Now.” Esposito said, jabbing a finger at the empty room.
Reluctantly, Castle followed them inside, Ryan closing the door after them.
“What’s goin’ on?” The older cop said, glaring at Castle expectantly, Ryan stuck to his side with practically the same expression. The writer would have laughed were he not fearing for his life…How much did they know?
“What are you talking about?” He asked, innocently.
“The looks, Castle. Why are we getting the impression there’s some kind of bet or something going on that somehow involves us and that we are totally unaware of.”
He looked between the two expectant faces for a moment, coming to the conclusion that they knew nothing about what was apparently being said (and how did this get out so quickly!? He was not taking the blame for that one.)
“Got me, fellas. Maybe it’s a cop thing…or just a homicide thing.”
“Not buyin’ it, Castle.” Esposito’s eyes flared, clearly not amused by his stalling while Ryan still looked more peeved than threatening.
While Castle’s mind was almost finished creating a hare-brained excuse, Beckett opened the door, case notes in hand.
All three men looked at her, making her pause just as she was about to say something. “Am I interrupting something?”
“No.” Esposito said, a little too bluntly.
“Just getting coffee.” Ryan added, though Beckett noticed that none of them were making, holding or drinking anything of the sort.
Deciding it was probably best not to get involved, she continued with what she was going to say, “Looks like our timeline was wrong, I’m gonna need you two to canvas the vic’s building again, ask the residents if they saw anything at…5:15pm, Lanie said the body temperature gave an inaccurate time of death.”
Both detectives nodded at her as she took her leave. Esposito turned back to Castle, glare back on his face, finger prodding at the taller man’s chest. “We’re not done here…”
“Not by a long shot,” Ryan finished, following his partner back to their desks, leaving Castle to count his blessings and to remember to buy Beckett a bear claw in thanks for her excellent timing.
~*~
It was getting impossible to concentrate.
She tried to focus on the notes in front of her but all she could really pay attention to was Castle, sat in his usual chair beside her desk, staring at her like he was fit to burst.
Not raising her head, but looking up at him through her hair, they made eye contact, Castle’s expression becoming even more desperate. Closing her eyes briefly, just knowing she was going to regret humouring him, she set down her pen, leaning back in her chair.
“Got something you wanna share over there, Castle?”
“…I can’t tell you,” he said with the utmost disappointment.
“Alright, then.”
“Geez, what is with you women?” Kate raised a questioning eyebrow, happy to indulge him but not willing to encourage him more than she had to. Sensing this, Castle decided not to play the same game he did with Lanie, instead just coming out with it.
“Ryan and Esposito are an item.”
“Oh god, Castle, not this again.”
“I’m serious!”
“I’ve heard it all before, barely a month into your shadowing here. Let it go.”
“But-“ He suddenly became aware that people were watching them so he lowered his voice, “I have an eye witness and everything!”
“Uh-huh, and what exactly did this eye witness see?”
“They were making out in the break room, hands everywhere!” OK, so another hazard of the trade, slight exaggerations but he was losing her, he had to try and reel her in.
“Oh, really? And who exactly is this ‘eye witness’ of yours?” She asked, arms folded over her chest, a hint of triumph in her voice.
“Alexis!”
Now, that gave the detective pause for thought. Castle the younger was a far cry from her father when it came to fabricating stories. Richard did it almost without thinking, but, from Beckett’s brief encounters with her, Alexis was not the type to lie about things. And Castle wasn’t the type to use his daughter for his own gain. Interesting.
Castle could tell from the frown on Beckett’s face that he was getting through to her, “She came here looking for me and got an eyeful of smooching detectives instead. She said to keep it quiet, though,” he finished, with a somewhat guilty expression.
“So, naturally, you had to tell me,” Beckett replied, amused by his complete lack of self control.
“…And Lanie,” the guilty expression growing. Beckett just shook her head, pen back in hand.
“Well, you’re discovery is safe with me. Lanie, I can’t speak for, however.”
Kate went back to looking over the case file, assuming the conversation was over. That was, until Castle broke the silence.
“Which one do you think tops?”
“Castle!” Beckett almost choked on her own inhalation at the bold and ridiculously personal question.
“What? I was just asking.” She continued to stare at him incredulously, his gaze matching her own until she looked away, eyes still wide at the sheer audacity.
“…I’m gonna go with Esposito.”
“Yeah, right.” The words were out of her mouth before she had a chance to stop them, risking a look up to see the wide-eyed expression now on Castle’s face. It was quickly replaced by a sly smirk, however.
“Care to explain?”
No, she thought, realising she had dug herself into a hole and Castle was not the sort to give up easily…or ever. Biting her bottom lip as she thought over her options, she came to the conclusion that she may as well just come clean and get it over with.
“Ryan obviously has Esposito wrapped round his little finger. Just because he’s the bigger guy, doesn’t automatically make him the dominant in the relationship, that’s just naïve. No, Ryan’s got him right where he wants him, he’s totally whipped.”
Castle remained wide-eyed, turning to look at the two empty desks as he mulled over her reasoning in his head (though not too hard, he wanted to be able to look them in the eye when they returned.) Suddenly, a thought occurred to him, turning back to face Beckett with that devious look that she often dreaded.
“You know…for someone who condemned me for even suggesting it in the first place, you seem to have thought about this in some detail.”
To her credit, she managed to fight down the blush she could feel creeping up her neck, instead grabbing the file and standing, Castle rising with her.
“I never said I thought you were wrong, I believe my exact words were, ‘Don’t go there, Castle.’ It’s not our business, if they want to keep it a secret, let them,” She began to walk away before turning round to face him properly, “Of course, you’d have to be a complete idiot not to notice. It’s practically written all over their faces. I think half the precinct’s known for awhile, now. Keep up, Rick.”
With that fiendish dig and the teasing smile that always managed to send Castle’s thoughts careening off a cliff, she walked off to take care of some business.
Yeah, and no doubt the other half are about to find out now too… Castle thought to himself. Deciding he did not want to be present when things exploded, he chose to head home and hide out there for a year or so until the detectives were over the urge to kill him.
~*~
It was another few hours before Ryan and Esposito returned from canvassing the building, calling in the findings to Beckett on their way back to the station. Esposito practically collapsed in his chair, about to ask Ryan to get them coffees but he already seemed to be on his way.
As Ryan approached the break room, however, he stopped in his tracks when he heard his name mentioned, hovering just out of sight to eavesdrop.
“-Ryan, I can understand but Esposito? Damn shame, if you ask me.” That sounded like Karpowski …what the hell were they talking about?
“I assumed it was common knowledge, it seemed so obvious. I’m glad I didn’t mention it to them, that would have been embarrassing.” And that sounded like Clemens, one of the new admin staff. Ryan couldn’t even remember talking to her, what was so obvious to her?
“Esposito never gave any indication of it back at the 54th but I can’t say I’m too surprised. I’ve seen the two of them together when I come up here, never see ‘em apart. I can understand why they’d wanna keep it on the down-low, though.” What the hell? Wasn’t that that Demming guy that Esposito used to know back at the 54th? Wasn’t he in robbery now, what was he doing up here and talking about them?
Ryan was about to go in there and confront them when the discussion took a turn that made him stop dead in tracks.
“I wish any of my relationships would last as long as theirs. Guys can be pretty pig-headed, y’know? Not liking the fact that a woman has a tougher job than them. Looks like they worked it out just right, huh?” Karpowski said, with something of an envious sigh.
“Aw, you can’t hold it against them. They’re so cute together, the way they always look at each other…” Ryan could practically hear the swoon in her voice, his stomach clenching, uncomfortably.
Demming chuckled, “You women, always going after the taken guys. You know, I’m amazed they’ve been able to keep it quiet for as long as they have with you guys talking about them all the time. Especially with that writer up here, too.”
“Oh! I heard him and Beckett talking earlier, trying to work out which one of them topped. I reckon-“
The voices stopped, no doubt distracted by the sudden spluttering coming from just outside the doorway. Peeking out the entrance, they barely missed the rapid departure of one very flustered detective.
~*~
Esposito raised his hands in exasperation when he saw his partner return, “What happened to the coffees, bro?”
But as Ryan got closer and Esposito noticed the pained look on his face, his stance went from mildly annoyed to downright concerned. He stood from his chair, approaching his pacing partner who looked up at him like a deer caught in headlights.
“What’s happened, you OK?” His tone was gentle but stern, not wanting Ryan to hide something important from him just because he thought it was trivial.
But that wasn’t what Ryan was thinking. What exactly would he tell Esposito? ‘Oh, hey, did you know the whole precinct seems to think we’re a couple and that we’re sleeping together?’ He clenched his fists tightly, trying to get a grip. No, that was not a conversation he was prepared to have, that was a sure-fire way of causing mass awkwardness between them. He’d just have to deal with it himself and try and find a subtle way of dispelling this rumour.
“No, it’s fine. Everything’s good.” He replied with a weak smile.
Esposito just looked at him, clearly not believing him and not prepared to let it go. “Alright, I…was in the elevator and it got stuck and I panicked. Happy?” His partner still didn’t look too convinced but it did make sense that he would want to keep that to himself.
Deciding to change the subject, Esposito sat on Ryan’s desk, Ryan sitting himself down on Esposito’s.
“We still up for Madden, tonight?” He asked.
“Course, it’s Friday, isn’t it? Your place, right?”
“Bro, I just spent the last 4 hours talking to a bunch of deaf people while you were liaising with the crime scene guys. Give a guy a break, huh? Why don’t you cook?”
Ryan frowned, “Hey, I had to interview people too! I cooked last time.”
“Well, looks like there’s only one way to solve this…” Esposito said, fighting down a smile.
“No!” Ryan cursed himself for reacting so quickly, missing the very brief look of hurt and disappointment that flashed across his partners face. “I mean, you always win anyway so, fine, we’ll do it at my place. The game! Do the game…at my place. 8 o’clock as usual.”
“You sure you’re OK, man?” Esposito asked, back to being concerned at his partner’s unusually erratic behaviour.
“Yeah, fine. I’ll go get those coffees…”
As he watched Ryan walk off to the break room he had to wonder why exactly he had gone in the elevator to get coffees in the first place…
~*~
He cursed them all. Damned all those at the 12th that were currently ruining Madden night for him.
What was usually a night of fun and joking around with his best friend was quickly becoming a night of over-analysis and subsequent freaking out.
Ryan had stopped drinking at two beers, knowing that he tended to run his mouth a bit when he got drunk which was something he really couldn’t afford to do at the moment. He was too busy over-thinking everything that was happening…
Why had he never noticed how close they sat on the couch? It could comfortably seat 3 people and yet they always nestled into the centre, left side touching the other’s right side, shoulder to knee.
Why did he never notice that, although Esposito always complained about the way he cooked, he was always behind him, watching him intently and giving him assistance without even being asked?
Why had it not come to his attention that, whenever Esposito smiled, it made his gut clench and he instinctively made a mental note of what he’d said so he had more of a chance of seeing it again?
Why did he never find it strange that, whenever the topic would go to relationships or girls, all he wanted to do was change the subject, not wanting to hear any details about a possible love life of his partner’s?
And why was he only now becoming aware of the ache in his chest when Esposito announced it was time for him to head home? Why had he never acknowledged how much he wished he’d just stay over so that they could continue talking and hanging out into the next day and he’d wake up with him the next morning and start the day off on a high…
He cursed them all. Damned all those at the 12th who had ruined Madden night for him.
Damned them for making him realise he was in love with his partner.
~*~
The following Monday, Ryan avoided Esposito like the plague. In fact, he was avoiding everyone, but his partner more so than anyone else.
Despite trying to remain impartial about it all, everyone was noticing it. He saw Castle sidle up to Beckett and mouth “lovers’ spat?” to her before being elbowed in the ribs for his troubles as Ryan bristled uncontrollably.
Sometime in the afternoon, Esposito had had enough of being ignored and avoided, deciding he had to corner the man if he was going to get any answers.
Seeing his victim turn the corner, he quickly got out of his chair and briskly walked over to him. The sudden move caught Ryan’s attention and he instantly made the move to retreat but Esposito was too quick for him, shuffling him into the interrogation observation room.
“What is the problem?” Esposito started, pacing in front of the suddenly squirrely man.
“I don’t know-“
“Cut the crap, Ryan. You’ve been avoiding me all day,” he snapped, before calming his tone down, “Have I done something?”
Ryan’s chest clenched again, not liking where this was going and finding the need to flea rapidly increasing.
“Look, it’s nothing, alright?”
“Kevin-“
“It’s none of your business!” OK, that hurt and Ryan could tell and instantly hated himself for it but maybe it was the only way to get the man off his back before he said something he’d regret.
Esposito noticeably backed up, thinking over what to say.
“If you have a problem with me, why don’t you just come out and say it?” His voice was stern, emphasised by the quietness of his tone.
“It’s not that simple!” Ryan yelled back, desperate to get away without upsetting him one way or the other.
“It always used to be! We could talk about anything together, what’s got you so scared, huh?”
Ryan suddenly turned on his partner, finding it hard to control his feelings at this point. “I don’t want to get into it!” He yelled, backing Esposito into the table in the centre of the room, seeing the determination in his eyes. This was gonna get messy.
“Well, I do!” The older man yelled back, leaning forward so there were only a few inches between them, both panting slightly from the excessive yelling.
It took them both a minute to realise they had both slipped into ‘chicken’ mode again, the stakes: tell or don’t tell.
Ryan’s hands were placed either side of Esposito on the table, while the others were placed behind him to prevent him from losing his balance. Ryan’s heart was beating out of his chest, his brilliant blue eyes not straying from the chocolate ones in front of him.
They stayed the same distance apart for what felt like an eternity, sharing the same air with neither backing down. Same as always…except for one sudden detail that Esposito did not fail to notice.
Ryan broke eye contact to look at his lips, slightly parted as he concentrated on trying to keep his cool. Then the bastard licked his own lips, no doubt subconsciously but it was sending all sorts of warning signals to his brain.
“You’re not backing away…” He said, annoyed at how hoarse his words came out.
“Neither are you,” Ryan stated, his eyes flicking up to Esposito’s once again. Then the older cop noticed a flash of comprehension in his partner’s eyes that made his stomach roll and panic rise in his chest.
“…You never back away. Why?”
Esposito swallowed hard, why exactly was this happening? Had he somehow missed out on a whole conversation that might have tipped Ryan off on his buried feelings for the Irishman?
“I don’t like to lose?” Now why the hell did he make that sound like a question? He knew he was losing his edge now and he didn’t like it one bit, but the way Ryan was looking at him, like a curious child, it was seriously damaging his resolve.
“Try again.”
“Look, I’ve backed away before, bro-“
“Yeah, when I’m drunk…” And then he put the final pieces together, Esposito could literally see all the elements falling into place and he didn’t want to be present when that happened but he had nowhere to go and didn’t feel like pushing his friend, his partner away right then.
“You know I won’t back down…You don’t want to take advantage of me. Because…because…” He frowned at his thought process, looking imploringly at his partner, “Why, exactly?”
And there it was. Esposito gave a frown of his own, trying to find the words that could possibly salvage this situation and their friendship. “Kevin-mmph!”
Screw the answer, he didn’t need to hear it. Taking the initiative for once, Kevin closed the gap between them, pressing his lips against Esposito’s in a passionate yet tender kiss. Esposito gasped into his mouth at the contact, every nerve in his body tensing at the unexpected sensation.
But just as quickly as it came, it ended, with Ryan pulling away just a little to stare at the man in front of him, both open mouthed and slightly flushed.
“What…?” Esposito started, but couldn’t find the words to the rest of that sentence in his currently jumbled brain.
Ryan gave a breathy laugh, leaning in closer to Esposito’s ear to whisper, “Maybe I wanted you to take advantage of me, Javi…”
Esposito couldn’t stop the small groan that escaped him at the deviousness in that voice, so different to how he usually spoke and yet so right at the same time. He wanted to voice so many things, tell Kevin how long he had wanted this and ask him the same question, to say he didn’t want to rush things if it made him uncomfortable, to say how much he really meant to him…
But this proved to be impossible when he found Ryan’s tongue down his throat in a matter of seconds. Not that he’d even think of complaining, of course.
Kevin’s hand blindly moved towards Javier’s clawing at it, frantically as he deepened the hard, hungry kiss. Esposito completely melted into it, letting him take the lead; he didn’t seem to have much control over his limbs at the moment, anyway.
Needing more contact, Ryan pressed forward, forcing Esposito to sit partially on the table and then forced an amusing strangled cry out of him as their lower halves connected, revealing just how much each of them were enjoying themselves.
The noise made Ryan smile lecherously but he didn’t slow down, too caught up in the moment, revelling in how well it was all going; all the scenarios of thrown punches, angry words, misery and self-loathing that he had dwelled on endlessly over the weekend slipping away with every returned kiss and caress as Javier’s hand moved to the back of his head to bring them even closer.
CLICK!
Both detectives stopped moving instantly but didn’t pull away, instead both turning to the source of the noise in the open doorway.
There, holding a camera phone on them which was currently being put away, Beckett just smiled innocently.
“Now am I interrupting something?” She said, trying to hide the true amusement in her expression as best she could. The two just nodded, silently. “Want me to close the door?” Simultaneous nods, again.
She nodded in return, grabbing the handle and pulling the door closed but not before either heard an overly excited voice coming somewhere out of sight that sound suspiciously like Castle saying “Did you get it?!”
Instead of carrying on with the festivities, as much as they wanted to, they both pulled apart, Ryan moving to sit on the table next to his partner.
“Well, now I think we’ve got some explaining to do…” Esposito said, his tone and expression making it clear that that wasn’t a conversation he was looking forward to. Good thing Ryan had the good news for him…Wow, he never thought he’d be calling it that.
“Uh…they kinda already know.” He said with a slight chuckle.
Esposito turned to face him, confusion written all over his face. “What?”
“They already know. Turns out pretty much the whole damned precinct thought we were already together. Just thought we were keeping it quiet.”
“Even Beckett?”
“From what I’ve heard, yeah. Seems like the only people that didn’t know were us. Some detectives we are, huh?” He responded, with an adorable lopsided grin that made Esposito smile in return.
“Well, we don’t gotta tell that to anyone. Why now though? If they’ve thought it for so long?”
Ryan shrugged, “Don’t know. People seemed to start talking amongst themselves, like Chinese whispers or somethin’ but I don’t know who would’ve started…”
They both looked at each other, knowing the answer without even having to think about it, “Castle.”
“Has to be. That guy sure knows how to stir up trouble. Probably why he was so nervous when we cornered him last week.” Ryan pointed out, then noticed the wicked grin that was spreading across Javier’s face. “What?”
“Well, he doesn’t know we’ve found him out. What say we have a little fun of our own? Torment the guy for a little bit. Might get some free coffee machine’s out of it. I think he owes us.”
“I like your style, Detective Esposito…Although if it weren’t for him we might not have-“
“Do not finish that sentence! I refuse to acknowledge Castle’s part in this right now, maybe after the torment.” He said but still with a grin. He wasn’t about to say it out loud, Castle’s head was already big enough, but he would always owe it to him that they got to this point.
“So, no other rumours I need to know about, are there?” Esposito asked as he opened the door to go back to his desk.
When Ryan didn’t follow, he turned to see a wicked smirk of his own moving across Kevin’s lips as he slowly approached his partner.
“There is one that I’m curious to look into…but we’ll have to wait until tonight to get to the bottom of it. So to speak.” The unusually sultry voice sent shivers down Esposito’s spine and the quick kiss Ryan placed on his lips caught him so off-guard, Ryan had left the room before he could respond.
“I’ll get some coffees,” Ryan threw over his shoulder as he headed for the break room, as if nothing life-altering had just happened in the last 15 minutes. And Esposito realised with overwhelming relief that that was exactly how it was meant to be.