(no subject)
To be blunt, I really hate the whole idea of the "friends with benefits" concept. It may work for some but to put myself in that position would make me feel so...pathetic (for lack of a better word). It's kind of cruel in a sense because of the emotions and mixed signals. While things may have already gone in that direction, I don't regret what all has happened (that's a first!) but I'm not too proud of the results. I've probably been the worst at sending the wrong or mixed signals but now I'm actually finding the clarity that I've been seeking. There's nothing you can do to change how the other person truly feels. I feel like I'm clinging on to something so hard but realistically I know the future expectations will just wind up being a massive slap in the face. Though I suppose all good things (well, if you want to consider kisses that are probably meaningless, "good things") do seem to come to an end eventually... While friendship is important, it'd be nice to find a guy who can truly, genuinely care about and wants to be with me despite all the quirks, flaws, and hardships.