Stay
Title: Stay
Author: Magpie
Rating: pg-13
Genre: Nate/Eliot, somewhat of a team!fic
Verse: BlackKing WhiteKnight!Verse
Summary: Eliot broke the first rule.
Notes: Followup to Not Going Anywhere. As our heros deal with the fallout of finding out about Eliot's problem. It was supposed to be a short peice between Nate and Eliot but my need to develop plot took over.
Yes, I said it, Plot. I have somewhere I'm going with this and development is underway. Hope everyone likes it. This is either going to have one or two following peices (possibly three if I write the Nate/Eliot bit). So keep your eyes open for "Fathers".
Also, hey look, I found time and edited this so it doesn't have them all having offices in season 2. Readjusting to fit cannon is for the win!
The worst disasters come when something you’ve always taken for granted stops working. Nate knew this. He’d seen dozens of cases where something simple, a circuit breaker, a fire extinguisher, a car’s breaks, things people never really thought about what would happen if they just suddenly didn’t work when you needed them, did just that. The results tended to be catastrophic.
A job pressing a little close to home went south and suddenly the control he’d started to believe Eliot would never really lose had nearly shattered. In the space of a few minutes he’d broken down, that violence escaping and lashing out while the others ran for their lives. Nate had stayed behind. He’d stayed behind and held Eliot together and they’d all gotten away in one piece.
But some damage was already done. Nate just wasn’t sure how much yet.
It had been hard to explain what had happened that day to the team. None of them had taken the truth very well and the fact it had been kept secret so long made it worse. In there eyes a bomb had been sitting next to them in meetings and Nate had never saw fit to mention to them that he might lose it at the wrong word.
Adrenalin was still running high and everyone was feeling stressed. A few unkind things that they’d probably regret saying later, not that any of them would admit it, were hurled at him and Eliot until they realized neither was making an attempt to defend themselves.
No one on the team was used to blaming someone willing to admit they'd done wrong even if they made to pretense of wishing they could change it.
Nate let the silence linger, hoping that once the adrenalin faded they’d be able to listen to what he’d say.
It also gave him a chance to figure it out.
After another moment of silence Eliot got up and left the apartment without a word.
Nate let him go. He needed time alone and if the team needed to vent their collective tempers a while longer he might as well not be in the room to hear it.
He looked at the three left in the room then at his watch. “I’ve got ten minutes to kill. So questions? Comments? I am not kicking him off the team so I think now might be a good time to deal with this.” Parker had raised her hand. “Yes Parker?”
“If he’s so dangerous why didn’t he kill you?”
Nate let out a slow breath, hoping to navigate this without breaking rule #8 and letting that little secret out. He wasn’t sure the team could handle that right now. “We have a history, I saved his life ten years ago.” The others looked surprised. “My guess is when you share a cell with someone for two weeks and they’re the only reason you’re loitering on death’s porch instead of going right in and you’ve got the protective instinct Eliot does? You tend to develop a driving need not to be the one to kill them.” He grinned a little and took a sip from his coffee. “He didn’t actually lose it. Never seen him come that close without going all the way but he held on.”
The room was so silent he might have been speaking to himself. Then there was a little gasp from Parker and Nate looked over to her and suddenly she was staring at him with a “I know something you don’t want me to know” grin and Nate groaned internally.
But strangely, she said nothing.
“You know… River did up being a advantage to the crew.” Hardison said carefully, not completely sure of what he was saying or if he said it right. “And it wasn’t her fault she was the way she was.” It took Nate a minute to recognize it was a question.
“It’s not. He never told me what happened but he’s always talked like it’s external. Something someone did to him.”
“It makes sense.” Sophie said, the last to break her silence and in some way Nate felt as if something had shifted. They’d moved from completely rejecting to processing and readjusting. It wasn’t over but the hardest part was. “It explains a lot.” She gave one final sigh. “It’s just a lot to take in, and it would have been nice to know months ago. What would have happened if you hadn’t been there?”
Nate winced mentally. “He’d of held on until you got away.” He had to be honest though. “Or he might have attacked. I’d put my money on Eliot but I can’t be sure. What I can say is a year ago I don’t think anyone other than me would have survived.” He put down the mug. “Here’s the truth of the matter. He’s getting worse. Hes nearly lost it a few times and he all but lost it today. Being comfortable, safe, with people he trusts means he’s subconsciously letting down his guard.” He traced a finger along the rim of the cup. “But I have a theory that the reason why he’s losing control is the same as the reason you all got out of there safely today. He’s getting worse because he’s getting better.”
No, Nate didn’t know what had made Eliot who he was. But the scars Eliot had on his body even when they first met had marked Eliot a survivor of a lifetime of abuse on a level Nate didn’t want to consider. Eliot didn’t have to say anything for Nate to understand the survival instincts that had morphed into that violence had been beaten into him long before he became a thief.
It was ironic. After all the talk about Nate needing the chase and being in the game Nate knew better than anyone how much finally having something even remotely resembling a family was helping Eliot.
With a sigh Nate stood, checking his watch. “He should be mostly packed by now.”
Without further explanation Nate left the apartment.
Nate let himself into the small apartment Eliot had commandeered to turn into a gym space he used to practice and train the team in self-defense. He watched wordlessly as Eliot packed weapons and the few odds and ends he cared about into an unremarkable black duffle bag.
“So you’re leaving?” Nate asked, bordering casual.
“Have to.” Eliot grumbled. “Today shouldn’t of happened. I let my guard down. I lost control. They’re our rules Nate. I broke the big one. Game over.” He grumbled something that might have had something to do with spending too much time with Hardison.
Nate nodded, ignoring the way his stomach dropped. He’d come in here knowing that Eliot would be packing to leave. Way back in Chicago, after it turned out it would be far from a walk away Nate had told Eliot the moment he lost control he was done. Nate hadn’t been willing to risk lives. But now it didn’t matter. No it did matter, a lot, but differently. Things had changed.
God had things changed.
But this relationship, this team, this family and all it’s fucked up parts was the best thing any of them had going. They had to stick together.
“I thought you were a bad guy. What’s a rule or two broken?” Nate tried, buying time for his mind to put some plan together. He had thought Eliot was preparing for the worst since that was what he did.
It looked like Eliot was actually leaving.
Eliot slowly turned away from the pile of books on a table by the back window he’d been sorting through to look at Nate. “I could have killed you. Hell, I should have killed you. I don’t know how I didn’t…” His voice faded. “I got a job offer. Russian mob stuff. Potential for carnage, screams, blood. Stuff I’m good at.”
Nate felt like he’d been punched in the gut. Since the beginning of the team Eliot had always made sure Nate knew when to expect him back. Eliot wasn’t good with goodbyes, telling him when he was going to be back was Eliot’s way of saying “see you later”.
Saying nothing at all was how they’d parted ways every time over the years. It was all left up to chance.
“Eliot.” Nate said, crossing over to the man unsure what he intended to do besides stop him from walking out that door.
“Rule #19 Nate” Eliot said habitually, referencing their rule for not mixing up pleasure with work and keeping intimacy out of the offices, or what passed as their offices now.
Nate wanted to make a scene, demand to know when he’d be back, when he’s coming back, say damn it to the rules and just kiss him until he agreed to stay…
But they are two broken men, and this wasn’t love, and they’ve been telling themselves that for more than a year now because they knew this day would come and it was supposed to make it easier when it did. Nate noded slowly, allowing himself to put a hand on Eliot’s shoulder and lean over just enough to place a chaste, fatherly kiss on Eliot’s forehead.
When he felt Eliot shaking a little, trying to hide how much their attempt to make this parting easy failed, it didn’t help as much as he’d have thought. Eliot opened his mouth to say something then changed his mind sighing before saying something else. “The owners of my old apartment in L.A. are still take my mail. White moves first.”
Nate nodded but didn’t respond. He didn’t think he’d be starting their new chess match for awhile. Better to make this a clean break.
Eliot seemed to agree. Without another word he grabbed the black bag and opened the apartment door to the hallway.
Hardison, Sophie, and Parker stood blocking the other side stern expressions on their faces, though Parker ruined the effect by looking between them and giggling a little to herself.
Eliot’s confusion turned into a pissed expression. “I’m leaving already.”
Something was wrong. Nate realized even as Eliot stood there waiting for them to get out of his way that something was wrong. Eliot had been adamant about quitting this team when he wanted to, now he was running away?
It took another second to realize the one thing in that entire conversation he hadn’t done.
Nate closed his eyes. God was he an idiot.
“We aren’t here to hassle you.” Parker said firmly.
“Well we kind of are, but not about leaving.” Hardison cut in then shrugged. “Okay maybe about leaving but not like you think.”
Sophie put her hands on her hips, every bit annoyed and attitude. “Give us one good reason to let you leave us hanging like this.”
“Thought you wanted me gone. That there was something wrong with me.” Eliot looked to the other three.
“You’ve been saying that about me for more than a year, you don’t seem to mind too much.” Parker said with a shrug.
“What Parker means Eliot is we’re a team.” Sophie said with a smile. “We’ll take you as you are and trust you to keep us safe like you always have.”
“’sides who else is gonna fight off the reevers and Really piss off the alliance?” Hardison put in.
Eliot ignore him and turned back to face Nate, a small smile on his face like when he managed to trick him. It took Nate a moment to realize maybe Eliot had never wanted to really leave. Things had changed and the rules were different and Eliot had to know that he was getting worse. Eliot knew Nate wouldn’t make him leave but they were all stubborn. Forcing them to let Eliot stay could have torn the team apart.
By playing the martyr, willingly leaving to a lonely fate he forced the team to stop feeling offended and decide how they felt about this.
They had asked him to stay. He was a part of the team by mutual consent, not sufferance. They’d accepted him as he was and they could move forward from this.
Nate winced mentally at the thought that their hitter was one of the better cons he knew. Maybe they were spending a little too much time together.
“So what do you say Nate?” He asked, the grin fading a little.
“Will you stay with the team? We still need you.” Nate said. The relived smile was real and Nate wondered just how much of this had been con. How much had been Eliot honestly ready to run from all of this. “It won’t be easy.”
“It never is.” Eliot said, putting down the bag. “But I’ve got plenty of fight left in me.”
Hardison and Parker cheered before Hardison went off to make some popcorn and said a team celebration for togetherness was in order. Parker gave an exaggerated wink at Nate before dragging Sophie away to help her with something.
“Does Parker…?” Eliot started before he shook his head. “Of course she’d be the first ta figure out. There’s somthin’ wrong with her.” He shook his head one more time and went back into the apartment to put things away.
Nate leaned against the doorframe, noting one of Eliot’s favorite throwing knives had never been pried from the wall.
The biggest disasters always seemed to come when the things you’d taken for granted stop working right.
But so did change.
Previous: Not Going Anywhere
Next: The Cracked
Author: Magpie
Rating: pg-13
Genre: Nate/Eliot, somewhat of a team!fic
Verse: BlackKing WhiteKnight!Verse
Summary: Eliot broke the first rule.
Notes: Followup to Not Going Anywhere. As our heros deal with the fallout of finding out about Eliot's problem. It was supposed to be a short peice between Nate and Eliot but my need to develop plot took over.
Yes, I said it, Plot. I have somewhere I'm going with this and development is underway. Hope everyone likes it. This is either going to have one or two following peices (possibly three if I write the Nate/Eliot bit). So keep your eyes open for "Fathers".
Also, hey look, I found time and edited this so it doesn't have them all having offices in season 2. Readjusting to fit cannon is for the win!
The worst disasters come when something you’ve always taken for granted stops working. Nate knew this. He’d seen dozens of cases where something simple, a circuit breaker, a fire extinguisher, a car’s breaks, things people never really thought about what would happen if they just suddenly didn’t work when you needed them, did just that. The results tended to be catastrophic.
A job pressing a little close to home went south and suddenly the control he’d started to believe Eliot would never really lose had nearly shattered. In the space of a few minutes he’d broken down, that violence escaping and lashing out while the others ran for their lives. Nate had stayed behind. He’d stayed behind and held Eliot together and they’d all gotten away in one piece.
But some damage was already done. Nate just wasn’t sure how much yet.
It had been hard to explain what had happened that day to the team. None of them had taken the truth very well and the fact it had been kept secret so long made it worse. In there eyes a bomb had been sitting next to them in meetings and Nate had never saw fit to mention to them that he might lose it at the wrong word.
Adrenalin was still running high and everyone was feeling stressed. A few unkind things that they’d probably regret saying later, not that any of them would admit it, were hurled at him and Eliot until they realized neither was making an attempt to defend themselves.
No one on the team was used to blaming someone willing to admit they'd done wrong even if they made to pretense of wishing they could change it.
Nate let the silence linger, hoping that once the adrenalin faded they’d be able to listen to what he’d say.
It also gave him a chance to figure it out.
After another moment of silence Eliot got up and left the apartment without a word.
Nate let him go. He needed time alone and if the team needed to vent their collective tempers a while longer he might as well not be in the room to hear it.
He looked at the three left in the room then at his watch. “I’ve got ten minutes to kill. So questions? Comments? I am not kicking him off the team so I think now might be a good time to deal with this.” Parker had raised her hand. “Yes Parker?”
“If he’s so dangerous why didn’t he kill you?”
Nate let out a slow breath, hoping to navigate this without breaking rule #8 and letting that little secret out. He wasn’t sure the team could handle that right now. “We have a history, I saved his life ten years ago.” The others looked surprised. “My guess is when you share a cell with someone for two weeks and they’re the only reason you’re loitering on death’s porch instead of going right in and you’ve got the protective instinct Eliot does? You tend to develop a driving need not to be the one to kill them.” He grinned a little and took a sip from his coffee. “He didn’t actually lose it. Never seen him come that close without going all the way but he held on.”
The room was so silent he might have been speaking to himself. Then there was a little gasp from Parker and Nate looked over to her and suddenly she was staring at him with a “I know something you don’t want me to know” grin and Nate groaned internally.
But strangely, she said nothing.
“You know… River did up being a advantage to the crew.” Hardison said carefully, not completely sure of what he was saying or if he said it right. “And it wasn’t her fault she was the way she was.” It took Nate a minute to recognize it was a question.
“It’s not. He never told me what happened but he’s always talked like it’s external. Something someone did to him.”
“It makes sense.” Sophie said, the last to break her silence and in some way Nate felt as if something had shifted. They’d moved from completely rejecting to processing and readjusting. It wasn’t over but the hardest part was. “It explains a lot.” She gave one final sigh. “It’s just a lot to take in, and it would have been nice to know months ago. What would have happened if you hadn’t been there?”
Nate winced mentally. “He’d of held on until you got away.” He had to be honest though. “Or he might have attacked. I’d put my money on Eliot but I can’t be sure. What I can say is a year ago I don’t think anyone other than me would have survived.” He put down the mug. “Here’s the truth of the matter. He’s getting worse. Hes nearly lost it a few times and he all but lost it today. Being comfortable, safe, with people he trusts means he’s subconsciously letting down his guard.” He traced a finger along the rim of the cup. “But I have a theory that the reason why he’s losing control is the same as the reason you all got out of there safely today. He’s getting worse because he’s getting better.”
No, Nate didn’t know what had made Eliot who he was. But the scars Eliot had on his body even when they first met had marked Eliot a survivor of a lifetime of abuse on a level Nate didn’t want to consider. Eliot didn’t have to say anything for Nate to understand the survival instincts that had morphed into that violence had been beaten into him long before he became a thief.
It was ironic. After all the talk about Nate needing the chase and being in the game Nate knew better than anyone how much finally having something even remotely resembling a family was helping Eliot.
With a sigh Nate stood, checking his watch. “He should be mostly packed by now.”
Without further explanation Nate left the apartment.
Nate let himself into the small apartment Eliot had commandeered to turn into a gym space he used to practice and train the team in self-defense. He watched wordlessly as Eliot packed weapons and the few odds and ends he cared about into an unremarkable black duffle bag.
“So you’re leaving?” Nate asked, bordering casual.
“Have to.” Eliot grumbled. “Today shouldn’t of happened. I let my guard down. I lost control. They’re our rules Nate. I broke the big one. Game over.” He grumbled something that might have had something to do with spending too much time with Hardison.
Nate nodded, ignoring the way his stomach dropped. He’d come in here knowing that Eliot would be packing to leave. Way back in Chicago, after it turned out it would be far from a walk away Nate had told Eliot the moment he lost control he was done. Nate hadn’t been willing to risk lives. But now it didn’t matter. No it did matter, a lot, but differently. Things had changed.
God had things changed.
But this relationship, this team, this family and all it’s fucked up parts was the best thing any of them had going. They had to stick together.
“I thought you were a bad guy. What’s a rule or two broken?” Nate tried, buying time for his mind to put some plan together. He had thought Eliot was preparing for the worst since that was what he did.
It looked like Eliot was actually leaving.
Eliot slowly turned away from the pile of books on a table by the back window he’d been sorting through to look at Nate. “I could have killed you. Hell, I should have killed you. I don’t know how I didn’t…” His voice faded. “I got a job offer. Russian mob stuff. Potential for carnage, screams, blood. Stuff I’m good at.”
Nate felt like he’d been punched in the gut. Since the beginning of the team Eliot had always made sure Nate knew when to expect him back. Eliot wasn’t good with goodbyes, telling him when he was going to be back was Eliot’s way of saying “see you later”.
Saying nothing at all was how they’d parted ways every time over the years. It was all left up to chance.
“Eliot.” Nate said, crossing over to the man unsure what he intended to do besides stop him from walking out that door.
“Rule #19 Nate” Eliot said habitually, referencing their rule for not mixing up pleasure with work and keeping intimacy out of the offices, or what passed as their offices now.
Nate wanted to make a scene, demand to know when he’d be back, when he’s coming back, say damn it to the rules and just kiss him until he agreed to stay…
But they are two broken men, and this wasn’t love, and they’ve been telling themselves that for more than a year now because they knew this day would come and it was supposed to make it easier when it did. Nate noded slowly, allowing himself to put a hand on Eliot’s shoulder and lean over just enough to place a chaste, fatherly kiss on Eliot’s forehead.
When he felt Eliot shaking a little, trying to hide how much their attempt to make this parting easy failed, it didn’t help as much as he’d have thought. Eliot opened his mouth to say something then changed his mind sighing before saying something else. “The owners of my old apartment in L.A. are still take my mail. White moves first.”
Nate nodded but didn’t respond. He didn’t think he’d be starting their new chess match for awhile. Better to make this a clean break.
Eliot seemed to agree. Without another word he grabbed the black bag and opened the apartment door to the hallway.
Hardison, Sophie, and Parker stood blocking the other side stern expressions on their faces, though Parker ruined the effect by looking between them and giggling a little to herself.
Eliot’s confusion turned into a pissed expression. “I’m leaving already.”
Something was wrong. Nate realized even as Eliot stood there waiting for them to get out of his way that something was wrong. Eliot had been adamant about quitting this team when he wanted to, now he was running away?
It took another second to realize the one thing in that entire conversation he hadn’t done.
Nate closed his eyes. God was he an idiot.
“We aren’t here to hassle you.” Parker said firmly.
“Well we kind of are, but not about leaving.” Hardison cut in then shrugged. “Okay maybe about leaving but not like you think.”
Sophie put her hands on her hips, every bit annoyed and attitude. “Give us one good reason to let you leave us hanging like this.”
“Thought you wanted me gone. That there was something wrong with me.” Eliot looked to the other three.
“You’ve been saying that about me for more than a year, you don’t seem to mind too much.” Parker said with a shrug.
“What Parker means Eliot is we’re a team.” Sophie said with a smile. “We’ll take you as you are and trust you to keep us safe like you always have.”
“’sides who else is gonna fight off the reevers and Really piss off the alliance?” Hardison put in.
Eliot ignore him and turned back to face Nate, a small smile on his face like when he managed to trick him. It took Nate a moment to realize maybe Eliot had never wanted to really leave. Things had changed and the rules were different and Eliot had to know that he was getting worse. Eliot knew Nate wouldn’t make him leave but they were all stubborn. Forcing them to let Eliot stay could have torn the team apart.
By playing the martyr, willingly leaving to a lonely fate he forced the team to stop feeling offended and decide how they felt about this.
They had asked him to stay. He was a part of the team by mutual consent, not sufferance. They’d accepted him as he was and they could move forward from this.
Nate winced mentally at the thought that their hitter was one of the better cons he knew. Maybe they were spending a little too much time together.
“So what do you say Nate?” He asked, the grin fading a little.
“Will you stay with the team? We still need you.” Nate said. The relived smile was real and Nate wondered just how much of this had been con. How much had been Eliot honestly ready to run from all of this. “It won’t be easy.”
“It never is.” Eliot said, putting down the bag. “But I’ve got plenty of fight left in me.”
Hardison and Parker cheered before Hardison went off to make some popcorn and said a team celebration for togetherness was in order. Parker gave an exaggerated wink at Nate before dragging Sophie away to help her with something.
“Does Parker…?” Eliot started before he shook his head. “Of course she’d be the first ta figure out. There’s somthin’ wrong with her.” He shook his head one more time and went back into the apartment to put things away.
Nate leaned against the doorframe, noting one of Eliot’s favorite throwing knives had never been pried from the wall.
The biggest disasters always seemed to come when the things you’d taken for granted stop working right.
But so did change.
Previous: Not Going Anywhere
Next: The Cracked