Oooooohh, this one!! (working on a reply to yours now)
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“Sophie.”
“I’m staying Nate.” She said firmly. “Eliot may not want us to see it but he never wants our help. If things go badly he may need both of us before the end. He’s my team mate to.”
There was an echo in her words, a faint sound of Maggie, a faint sound of something more hysteric than Nate was used to hearing from Sophie.
The door slid closed behind Hardison, the clang of metal on metal echoing in the stillness like another bell tolling.
“He could die here.” Nate told Sophie, something starting to fill that hollow sound in his voice, knowledge he’s been forcing away coming out to color his tone. “If he’s getting this sick he could be rejecting the change. If he does he’ll die during the change, screaming. His body contorted, not man, not wolf... I’ve seen the body of someone who rejected the change Sophie and even if he lives…”
It never gets easier. The only comfort is if he survives the first change he’ll survive the rest. Even if they’ll make him wish they would.
He couldn’t say the knowledge bouncing around his brain.
She stepped toward him, soft hand brushing his cheek. “whatever happens tonight I want… I need to be here for you both. Please.”
Before he could answer Eliot gasped, his eyes shooting open, and any argument came to an end.
In the tradition of Leverage commentaries I'm informing you what I'm drinking. Sadly it's only Coke Zero. I feel as if I have somehow let John Rogers Down.
Anyway
So this was actually a hugely important part of the fic/series for me. Along with the fact the obvious first turning it's doing what happens alot in the episodes which is forcing Nate and Sophie to deal with how they feel about each other by giving them some external thing they have to deal with. In this case that thing being Eliot.
Writing this scene was actually kind of a good example of how I write. I had the goal (Sophie stays with Nate through Eliot's change) and the start of it. I had the beats I knew needed to be hit in the scene (That Eliot might die horrifically, that Nate knew this might happen) and the sort of character punchline of Sophie accidentally echoing Maggie with her "He's my X too." line.
Then I start writing and if I'm lucky the information and beats I go into a scene knowing I want to hit keep me from spiraling out into a Nate Ford brood fest in the middle of an action scene. And if I'm really really lucky I spiral out into one anyway but it still works.
Nate's little mini rant about what could happen, for example. I wanted to put that in there, but the idea of him saying it to Sophie and trying to scare her away with the facts of what was to come came as something of a suprise. Though rereading it I have to resist the urge to edit it. I'm pretty sure I could make a better pass at it. Or at least make the grammar less convoluted.
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“Sophie.”
“I’m staying Nate.” She said firmly. “Eliot may not want us to see it but he never wants our help. If things go badly he may need both of us before the end. He’s my team mate to.”
There was an echo in her words, a faint sound of Maggie, a faint sound of something more hysteric than Nate was used to hearing from Sophie.
The door slid closed behind Hardison, the clang of metal on metal echoing in the stillness like another bell tolling.
“He could die here.” Nate told Sophie, something starting to fill that hollow sound in his voice, knowledge he’s been forcing away coming out to color his tone. “If he’s getting this sick he could be rejecting the change. If he does he’ll die during the change, screaming. His body contorted, not man, not wolf... I’ve seen the body of someone who rejected the change Sophie and even if he lives…”
It never gets easier. The only comfort is if he survives the first change he’ll survive the rest. Even if they’ll make him wish they would.
He couldn’t say the knowledge bouncing around his brain.
She stepped toward him, soft hand brushing his cheek. “whatever happens tonight I want… I need to be here for you both. Please.”
Before he could answer Eliot gasped, his eyes shooting open, and any argument came to an end.
Reply
Anyway
So this was actually a hugely important part of the fic/series for me. Along with the fact the obvious first turning it's doing what happens alot in the episodes which is forcing Nate and Sophie to deal with how they feel about each other by giving them some external thing they have to deal with. In this case that thing being Eliot.
Writing this scene was actually kind of a good example of how I write. I had the goal (Sophie stays with Nate through Eliot's change) and the start of it. I had the beats I knew needed to be hit in the scene (That Eliot might die horrifically, that Nate knew this might happen) and the sort of character punchline of Sophie accidentally echoing Maggie with her "He's my X too." line.
Then I start writing and if I'm lucky the information and beats I go into a scene knowing I want to hit keep me from spiraling out into a Nate Ford brood fest in the middle of an action scene. And if I'm really really lucky I spiral out into one anyway but it still works.
Nate's little mini rant about what could happen, for example. I wanted to put that in there, but the idea of him saying it to Sophie and trying to scare her away with the facts of what
was to come came as something of a suprise. Though rereading it I have to resist the urge to edit it. I'm pretty sure I could make a better pass at it. Or at least make the grammar less convoluted.
Reply
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