(no subject)
Happy Samhain! Happy New Year! Happy Halloween! Happy Candy Day!
(Does that cover most of the options?)
:)
NOW I'm going out to buy a humidifier. And maybe wander outside a bit. And maybe look at mattresses, since mine has just died again after turning it every which way and I spent most of the weekend so far dozing off since I can't sleep more than 4 hours at night.
The good news is that my Supervisors and Managers kept giving me vastly different estimates on when my job would end... December, February, and a longlongtime from now. They discussed it and called some bigwigs, and now they think that I'll likely be working through April. So I've decided to buy a mattress (rather than renting for $150/mo), and move to a cheaper apartment with less mildew issues, less creepy neighbors, and easier to heat. I just need to choose which apartment, now, and do a bit more research.
The bad news is I'm putting off deciding whether to try and do a Samhain ritual, alone. I was able to meditate a few times recently, and promptly started seeing shadows moving out of the corners of my eye, and having those creepy waking dreams with things standing over me which aren't quite gone when my eyes open and I leap out of bed in terror, turning on the light to find nothing but an empty room.... all the reasons I once wondered if I should continue meditating. They've (for the most part) been absent the past 6 years while I wasn't able to meditate regularly; while I felt 98% dead inside myself. I think it's worth it, to have it back. Maybe someday I'll even meet someone who can tell me if it's imagination, paranoia, craziness brought on by meditating... or if sometimes meditating makes you shine brightly so things are attracted to you, like moths to a flame. Or if it makes you more sensitive, so things people normally don't see become shadows at the corners of your eye, or make their way into your dreams. Ever see a cat in an empty room? Sometimes they watch things moving, when there's nothing we can see.
Huh. I don't feel threatened this time, yet, just annoyed and occasionally spooked. So I'll try to keep meditating periodically. Moving may put a damper on that -- the most likely place I'll move to is a big apartment building. The press of humanity will likely have an effect on meditating, for me, anyway.
(Does that cover most of the options?)
:)
NOW I'm going out to buy a humidifier. And maybe wander outside a bit. And maybe look at mattresses, since mine has just died again after turning it every which way and I spent most of the weekend so far dozing off since I can't sleep more than 4 hours at night.
The good news is that my Supervisors and Managers kept giving me vastly different estimates on when my job would end... December, February, and a longlongtime from now. They discussed it and called some bigwigs, and now they think that I'll likely be working through April. So I've decided to buy a mattress (rather than renting for $150/mo), and move to a cheaper apartment with less mildew issues, less creepy neighbors, and easier to heat. I just need to choose which apartment, now, and do a bit more research.
The bad news is I'm putting off deciding whether to try and do a Samhain ritual, alone. I was able to meditate a few times recently, and promptly started seeing shadows moving out of the corners of my eye, and having those creepy waking dreams with things standing over me which aren't quite gone when my eyes open and I leap out of bed in terror, turning on the light to find nothing but an empty room.... all the reasons I once wondered if I should continue meditating. They've (for the most part) been absent the past 6 years while I wasn't able to meditate regularly; while I felt 98% dead inside myself. I think it's worth it, to have it back. Maybe someday I'll even meet someone who can tell me if it's imagination, paranoia, craziness brought on by meditating... or if sometimes meditating makes you shine brightly so things are attracted to you, like moths to a flame. Or if it makes you more sensitive, so things people normally don't see become shadows at the corners of your eye, or make their way into your dreams. Ever see a cat in an empty room? Sometimes they watch things moving, when there's nothing we can see.
Huh. I don't feel threatened this time, yet, just annoyed and occasionally spooked. So I'll try to keep meditating periodically. Moving may put a damper on that -- the most likely place I'll move to is a big apartment building. The press of humanity will likely have an effect on meditating, for me, anyway.