Helicopter Update
I have only been gone for 10 minutes. Since then, Tom and I have driven to the park; he flew the helicopter once; I flew it once. I flew it very high up into the sky. The helicopter was high and far away. I thought the helicopter was going to be lost in the surrounding forest. I let the gas go, so that the helicopter would drop. I did not decrease the gas slowly. The helicopter plummetted to the ground. I went to retrieve the helicopter. It looked fine. I brought it back to Tom and when he gave it gas, it did not rise. He looked at it and asked me if I saw any parts on the ground where it had fallen. I had not. He tried to fly the helicopter again. I was off in the field, trying to find missing parts and the location where the helicopter had fallen. I looked back and the helicopter was still not flying. It was still malfunctioning. I wandered back to Tom. He noticed where a piece had been broken. He said I owed him $40. I said, "Okay, whatever you want. I'm sorry." He led the way back to the car. I was sad. I got into the car. We did not speak. We pulled into the driveway and I got out and went straight inside to find the $40. I emptied my purse of all but $1--that which I earned today. I put the money in an envelope and wrote Sorry in red ink on the front and put a crying face on the back. I went outside and he was still sitting in his car. His door was open. I handed the envelope to him and said, "Here you go." He said that it would be worth $100 if I would just listen and that he didn't want the money because it was an accident. He said that he feels sometimes I just don't listen. Earlier, he asked me if I heard him when he said, Let it down slowly... or something like that. I explained to him that it didn't matter because I don't have hand eye coordination and that I panic and that I'm not good at those things. (why I don't play video games). I'm sure he can attest to this because anytime we have played videogames together... at the movie theatre or at Studio 28, I am always the first one to die. Before I started to write in this live journal, tears started to form. I am sad. I feel like I suck and that I can't do anything right. Right now, all I can think is that the only thing I'm good at is eating. My rooms not even clean; my bed is not made. I'm just OK at drawing and playing piano. I'm only OK at a lot of things and so, in that sense, I just feel like I suck.
I'm sure that things will change... although I am dreading what seems to be my assignment whenever we watch movies together... turning on the DVD/VCR player. I have absolutely NO IDEA what any of the buttons mean, besides rewind, fast forward, eject and play... and yet it seems like I am the one required for its functioning for our entertainment. I wish I could get out of it everytime!! And even those buttons don't make any sense since they are interchangable between the VCR and DVD and it just makes no sense that there are four remotes. I need a class.
Let's see... what else do I do wrong? I couldn't straighten out the rug yesterday when we were moving my desk because I needed to get down on the floor and there was hardly enough room. I couldn't screw in a screw yesterday with Tom and then again with my dad today. I have no clue how to install the U-lock attachment on my bike. I refuse to learn how to put air in the tires of my car. I barely know how to check the oil. I'm often scared of cleaners that I use to clean the bathroom because I'm afraid that sometime the cleaner is going to ricka-shay into my eye and that I'm going to go blind.
I always remember to turn off the stove and shut the refrigerator and turn off all the lights. I'm pretty good at using the washer and dryer and I wash dishes pretty well. Maybe this accounts for something. I don't know.
later
I'm sure that things will change... although I am dreading what seems to be my assignment whenever we watch movies together... turning on the DVD/VCR player. I have absolutely NO IDEA what any of the buttons mean, besides rewind, fast forward, eject and play... and yet it seems like I am the one required for its functioning for our entertainment. I wish I could get out of it everytime!! And even those buttons don't make any sense since they are interchangable between the VCR and DVD and it just makes no sense that there are four remotes. I need a class.
Let's see... what else do I do wrong? I couldn't straighten out the rug yesterday when we were moving my desk because I needed to get down on the floor and there was hardly enough room. I couldn't screw in a screw yesterday with Tom and then again with my dad today. I have no clue how to install the U-lock attachment on my bike. I refuse to learn how to put air in the tires of my car. I barely know how to check the oil. I'm often scared of cleaners that I use to clean the bathroom because I'm afraid that sometime the cleaner is going to ricka-shay into my eye and that I'm going to go blind.
I always remember to turn off the stove and shut the refrigerator and turn off all the lights. I'm pretty good at using the washer and dryer and I wash dishes pretty well. Maybe this accounts for something. I don't know.
later