money and how i hate it
i sure do hate money. maybe if i had more of it, things would not be so bad.. my basic problem is that i am terrible of keeping track of it all...and i have extreme anxiety about stupid things like going to the bank, or things like that. so due to these factors i had to pay a triple car payment this week. apparently i missed 2 payments a few years ago. do they ever send you a notice in the mail? no. they just threaten to repo your car. WTF? i seem to have the worst luck. so somehow i did manage to scrap up that money, but needless to say now i am extremely broke. i need so many things right now too. my car needs work, i have about 6 cavities that need filled and 4 extra wisdom teeth that hurt like hell, i am blind and desprately need to go to the eye doctor...and on top of all that i owe jon money for the trip to dc, bill maher tix, and all good tix. i guess it's not that big a deal, but he has serious trust issues when it comes to money. i don't want him to have that to hang over my head, which if we got into an argument is something i have a feeling he would do. i hate owing him money worst of all because i know how he is, and i know he is stressed about money right now too... but basically it's going to take me at least a month to get things back into their usual level of chaos and he's coming here in a week. so not only will i have little or no money to give him, but i also will have no money to do things while he is here.... we made these plans forever ago when it seemed so far away, now it's here and the ticket is about $50. at one point, before the widespread show when we talked about money, he said that by june he would have more money and would just pay for the bill maher tickets, but i don't like that, i like to pay my own way...stupid me. but really i don't feel right about things if he tries to pay. also he insisted on getting some expensive hotel closer to the venue instead of driving a little and staying at one of my hotels which i can afford. god knows i can't afford to do any drinking at the show. and i won't be going out again ever. so much for a birthday present for angela. i hate money. i really hate owing jon money. i have to figure a way to pay him back sooner or i don't think it will be good.... what a mess. why can't i just get my shit together? this is the last thing i needed. hopefully jon will read this and understand. and try not to think badly of me.