How many christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray
against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined
times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, & 3 committees
to approve the change & decide who brings the potato salad &
fried chicken.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the
drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell
him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or
against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own
journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You
are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your
light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a
number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent,
three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths
to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or
completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip
bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for
Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men
review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray
against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined
times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, & 3 committees
to approve the change & decide who brings the potato salad &
fried chicken.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the
drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell
him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or
against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own
journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You
are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your
light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a
number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent,
three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths
to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or
completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip
bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for
Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men
review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?