(no subject)
Hey, sorry I haven't had a decent update in awhile. You've all seen the weight loss progress. I really want to have dropped 25 by prom. So that's only about another 13 to go. I can do it. If I can lose 12 in 3 weeks, I can definately work my ass off for prom...literally.
Um, so, I've been very stressed out lately. Living that way is not normal. But, summer will aleiviate about 90% of it so...yeah. I scheduled classes for next semester. Not EXACTLY what I wanted, but I can always drop/add when others do so...hopefully it'll all work out.
I have two finals tomorrow. Then a long weekend. And then I come here on May 4th to study one more night, pack up the rest of my room, take that last final, hand in the case study, and hand in the teaching resume and portfolio. And then...I tell the semester to fuck off and let me rest. It's not that I'm sucking at school. I'm just working SO HARD that I don't suck at school. I impressed myself last semester. It felt good to come to a respected university and get good grades. It felt good for all the people who secretly thought "She's a screw-up" to think "Hey, she's actually a good student." Dammit, I just want success.
Sorry for that rant. Don't heap compliments on me or anything. I just have to know that everything is going to be okay. Only I can prove that to myself.
I just want this year to be over. I want summer. But I also want to know that I've done well in my first year. It's hard to explain.
What I want: On May 6th, I want to go outside, lay in my quiet yard, shut my eyes, and know that the stress is over for 4 months. I want to see my friends from home desperately.(PSU friends, please don't take offense to that, I still adore you.) I want to get a summer job, but I also want to rest and have some fun. God, I just want serenity.
Um, so, I've been very stressed out lately. Living that way is not normal. But, summer will aleiviate about 90% of it so...yeah. I scheduled classes for next semester. Not EXACTLY what I wanted, but I can always drop/add when others do so...hopefully it'll all work out.
I have two finals tomorrow. Then a long weekend. And then I come here on May 4th to study one more night, pack up the rest of my room, take that last final, hand in the case study, and hand in the teaching resume and portfolio. And then...I tell the semester to fuck off and let me rest. It's not that I'm sucking at school. I'm just working SO HARD that I don't suck at school. I impressed myself last semester. It felt good to come to a respected university and get good grades. It felt good for all the people who secretly thought "She's a screw-up" to think "Hey, she's actually a good student." Dammit, I just want success.
Sorry for that rant. Don't heap compliments on me or anything. I just have to know that everything is going to be okay. Only I can prove that to myself.
I just want this year to be over. I want summer. But I also want to know that I've done well in my first year. It's hard to explain.
What I want: On May 6th, I want to go outside, lay in my quiet yard, shut my eyes, and know that the stress is over for 4 months. I want to see my friends from home desperately.(PSU friends, please don't take offense to that, I still adore you.) I want to get a summer job, but I also want to rest and have some fun. God, I just want serenity.