i died, but god didn't want me so i'm back
......hi. ^_^;; yes, i'm still around. i check my lj communities every day, in fact, but i don't post to my own anymore. i don't know why, really, maybe because i feel that not a lot of people on my friends list care about / can follow what i say since i mostly write about my fangirly-ness about my TV shows and jpop.
because of this i considered starting a blog where i talk about those things, but i don't think i'd keep up with it. an lj is more informal, so i don't feel an obligation to write things for an audience.
i think only a handful of you are interested in / know about any of my interest, the rest of you probably had no idea what i was talking about when i did write. but it's really been a while and i regret not writing anything in the first month of 2007. so i'll write a comprehensive sort of overview that i can hopefully keep from getting too long!
first of all
i'd like to wish everyone a VERY belated halloween, thanksgiving, x-mas and new year!! and also, happy birthday to anyone whose birthday i missed! hope your celebrations were great. ^_^
bryan and i
bryan and i are better than ever, it seems we just get close the longer we live together. i've never been more convinced that what seemed to people like haste when we moved in together so soon was really what was right for us at the time, and turned out to be better than we could have imagined. to be honest, if we hadn't made that decision i don't think either of us could be as happy as we are now. i want to thank my family for trusting me and being supportive when we decided to move in together even though i was only 17, but it'd make them cry which would in turn make me cry. woo, sappy!
the 21st of this month will be our 4th anniversary. :D it's not that long if i think about it, but it certainly feels like it's been my whole life. i think i remember hearing that on average, people know each other for 2 years before getting married, right? so i'd say it's a good sign that at this point we're still growing stronger together.
and no, we still have no idea when we're getting married. our original plan was to wait until after i graduated, but seeing as how my academic career is becoming more and more uncertain (more on that below), it's probably best not to stick to that too strictly. i suppose we'll do it when we can afford it, and when we're in better shape physically. ^_^; anyone want to get me a personal trainer & chef as a wedding gift?
school? what was that again?
i've gone from being a full-time student 12 months ago to taking only one class now. i'm still very interested in being an artist, but what kind of tuition am i willing to pay to go to an art college? is it worth being in debt over? i keep losing confidence in my skills, too. it's a vicious cycle...to get better, i need to practice. but the more i practice, the more i want to quit because i don't see the improvement i want to see. if i've been drawing since i was in elementary school, why are my skills not better?
i just wish i was a natural like i remember seeing some of my class mates in high school being. i've got some skill, sense of aesthetic and proportion...in fact, my art teachers always said i was among the top in the class. but i'm not where i want to be, i've got so many limits. i can picture it in my head...WHY doesn't it come out on paper?
i guess i'm being hard on myself and un-realistic, but it's hard to shake that state of mind. it actually depresses me when i do try to draw (i can only seem to draw nice things when i'm copying somthing). i feel like i should be better by now, and since i'm not i don't want to continue. also, i stopped taking art classes in my community classes because it's ridiculous how repetitive they are. not enough students choose to continue, so basically they don't have a continuing class...they just put you back in the first class and the professor says they'll work more closely with you. not worth the money IMO (better off practicing on my own time...even though i don't), especially since these classes don't focus on what i want to do.
there's a manga school in japan that offers my dream curriculum...i literally drooled over the classes they have to offer!! but it would be too expensive for me to go and live there, and who knows if they'd even accept me. i do plan on looking further into it, though.
on the other hand, my motivation for learning japanese just keeps escalating! ^_^ it's the only class i'm taking this semester, and i enjoy going and learning. i'll only miss classes if i can't help it (bryan and i will be going to sxsw next month, driving, so that i'll have to miss a few classes then D:), and i know i'm confident that i'll come out with an A. but of course, the grade doesn't matter as long as i can learn more.
i've also been doing better being able to decipher japanese without subtitles! i'm no translator, mind you, but i can piece things together here and there. my long-term ambition is to win the lottery (<- okay, so that part is pur fantasy),be able to attend that japanese manga school and be fluent enough to understand all the classes by myself. however, that school never becomes a real possibility i could search for a job involving japanese. we're going to go to japan eventually (actually living there is what's uncertain), so i'll work hard on brushing up my fluency in addition to being a tourist and going to all my favorite jpop artists concerts. ;D
the working world (or lack of it)
i haven't been working for a few months now. i feel bad leaving it to bryan to support us, but i'm trying to figure out ways to help. we both swore not to go back to retail if we can help it, so we're trying alternatives.
the plan we're most hoping will work out is my online store. i've already registered it as a small business, but we're not really in a financial position to invest in it at the moment. the best-case scenario would be a loan, but that's out of the question at the moment because we both don't have credit that a bank would approve (not bad credit, we just haven't built enough of a history for banks to trust us).
so we're hoping to get approved for a business credit card...however, when we talked to a banker about it they told us not to bother with that yet. >_< said we'd only get approved for a small amount that wouldn't cover for the expenses of a business. SO, right now we're working on building my credit with store credit cards, and find out how much is enough to get a good limit on the card.
it's a slow process because, like i said before, our financial situation at the moment isn't at it's best (we can't go around buying expensive stuff and expecting to be able to pay it off). so we're using it for stuff we know we can pay off, and hoping it will help. ^_^; i wonder if it will take forever, or less time than i think?
until then i have something i could do, a classmate from my japanese class just informed me that his company (some devision of namco) is looking for more people to test games. however, he said that it's not a pleasant job....long hours, long weeks, and you could end up testing a boring game for an entire month. i'll make my decision based on how much they pay (didn't get to talk about that). i don't like the idea of giving up the time i spend with bryan (that really probably contributed a lot to how our relationship has grown), but if the money is good at the very least i wouldn't have the pressure of retail (SELL, SELL, SELL, i don't care if they don't want to buy!!) which i hate ever so much.
health and such
so bryan and i have gotten back into working out every day. ^_^ yes, back into it. we started for a while....then stopped for a while. then started again...then stopped again, lol. but this time around we've been better at keeping it up! we skipped the last 4 days or so, but got right back into it. this is improvement because past experience taught us that if we skipped even 2 days, it took us a month or twp to get back into it.
i can't say we're doing well in our eating habits, but we are doing better. partly due to money issues and partly just better will power, we don't eat out nearly as often. we've also been finding new things we enjoy cooking (our latest favorite is okonomiyaki!!), but unfortunately buying the ingredients and cookware we need just cost too much to do it often. >_< and neither of us are any kind of experienced with cooking...so we still eat mostly frozen microwavable things....but at least we reach for anything that says "light" or "lean" on it.
to anyone with experience: do you find that good exercising habits combined with mediocre eating habits still helps to lose weight? or does it just help not to gain weight? i know everyone is different, but it's nice to have some sort of perspective.
my goal is to lose enough wait not to look like a fool when i dance. x_o; especially my arms, ugh!! my upper arms turned monstrous somehow (even though, thank you GOD, even though i've put on about __ pounds, it looks like a lot less). i want delicate arms that look cute and girly when i dance. ;-;
i wouldn't tell my parents because they'd worry every day and night until they decide i'm going to die a young death, but we currently do not have health/dental insurance. D: i usually wouldn't care, but i've got a couple cavities that definitely need attention. is anyone on my friends list a dentist that will travel and is willing to see me for free? *begs*
at least going to planned parenthood is free, i can get basic check-ups from them. as far as they can tell, i'm healthy. i've been told i need to get tested for anemia, which i think i can do with the school nurse at my community college....buuuuuuuut. i'm chicken. i'm friggen CHICKEN, okay?
i even switched from depo to nuva ring as my birth control because my anxiety of getting a shot kept escalating every time i went. i just can't see me walking in to get blood taken without running away before they call my name.
so, does anyone know any definite signs of being anemic? i get dizzy after working out, and sometimes in the shower if there's too much steam. and i bruise easily, but i was told this could be unrelated. maybe this is sort of normal, though? doesn't necessarily have to mean i have any condition, maybe i'm just weak? *hopes*
these are a few of my favorite things
not that it wasn't obvious before, but i'm officially obsessed with jpop. xD i live for it! i can't imagine ever breaking up with jpop. i've done it before, but it was different then...i wasn't as immersed in it as i am now.
plus, it's a lot more fun now that i've brainwashed gotten bryan into it, as well. i can listen to it with him, talk to him about it, get his opinions, dance to it with him. ^______^ it's so nice to be able to share something i love so much with him. he's also been sucking people other people into it, he uses jpop (most of the time) as the intros and outros to his podcasts! they're usually the songs we'd been listening to most at the time (bwahahahaha, my brainwashing can now spread world-wide)!
and hello! project is definitely a major part of my jpop love. there's so much to h!p that i feel like i'll always be able to find something new. some event they did that i hadn't seen, some new segment to start following, a new h!p group being formed, members leaving and members joining. i'm so glad i got into that world. in fact, if money doesn't become an issue i'm hoping to be able to have an H!P gathering of sorts. our apartment complex has a very nice rec room which we can reserve...i'd like to be able to set up games and activities and invite any H!P fans who are willing to / can come!
and i'm still collecting PV's furiously! i've got over 400 now. bryan very generously emptied his external drive so i could use it. i download PV's all the time and bigger files once in a while (concerts, specials, anime, tv shows, etc). i've been trying to keep my community semi-active. it's pretty much turned into pure PV-uploading from me, even though i originally intended to use it for many things.
if you like jpop and want more PV's, or if you're just curious about jpop, check out jenvie! i somehow managed to get 50+ members even though i had been neglecting it for a while. ^_^;; but seeing that i had that many people interested motivated me to keep up with it.
my TV interests haven't changed too much. i still die for LOST (though i'm contemplating changing my lj layout...when i feel up to it). desperate housewives is still awesome. i haven't kept up with ANTM, though i don't think the new season's started yet (anyone know when it does?). aaand i've gotten into heroes. :D
other than those, i watch i love lucy every day (hard for me not to, even though i've seen every episode many times), friends (can say the same about this show), and i love watching discovery channel shows like mythbusters and how it's made. i've also been watching everybody loves raymond more lately, for some reason.
OMGJUMPROPESQUEE!! *hyperventilates* i can't wait for the new harry potter book and movie this summer (even though i hate daniel radcliffe's haircut, ugh). AAAAHHHHH!!
for those who can remember my TCG phase...i'm still very much in it. xD but not as much as before, it's calmed. however, that may change since i'm starting my own...yelp!
and of course, there's my lovely kitties. ♥ willow is fat...she has been since we got her spayed, but we try to remind her every day. chocolate still rapes her, but not as often. he seems to have gotten used to living here completely...he even approaches bryan to be carried sometimes. ravyn is still a bully. naida still has an addiction to playing. yup, the kitties haven't changed much. xD except they've all taken to meowing more! >_< and willow likes sleeping behind my monitor...she's unplugged my computer twice now. *pokes willow's fat* fatty.
finally finished playing final fantasy xii! it took us a while only because i made bryan promise he wouldn't pass my point in the game. ^^; but i realized that i have a TON of side quests and hunts to do, and i wouldn't dare pass the game without completing everything, so i let him finish the story first. i have some mixed feelings about the game....but fran is awesome. officially one of my all-time favorite characters.
we still haven't gotten a wii. ;_______; no money to spare for it. which reminds me...
birthday, yay!
so my birthday was two days ago. i turned 21. ^_^ it was a good day! didn't drink as much as you'd think, though, because i actually got cake. cake + alcohol = not a good mix. i didn't want to get sick, so i didn't drink too much. it worked! i didn't get sick. btw, does anyone on my friends list live/lived in the bay area (specifically san jose / santa clara)? know any good bars or something to go to with bryan?
*random* i had a theme song for my birthday. xD "love revolution 21"!! oh yeah, my self-proclaimed birthday song.
i don't remember if i mentioned it before, but as a birthday gift bryan finally agreed to let me have a tattoo. ^____________^ (i could make this smile a mile long, but i won't) i'm so excited! won't be able to spare the money for a couple months, but i'm getting one!! i'd almost given up hope.
i have my design all planned out, and i'll be getting an artist friend of bryan's to help me put it into one piece that i can show the tattoo artist. i'll post it up when he does it. that tattoo itself i might not be able to get until may, but i'll be patient. i've waited 5 years, i can wait a few more months.
my parents (bless their hearts) also sent me $200 as a gift. i'm certain they probably couldn't afford it, but they still did. and i'm very torn as to what i should use it for. i could use it to get all the jpop merchandise that i probably wouldn't be able to get otherwise, $200 could get me a lot of things....OR, i could use it to get a wii. knowing bryan and me, we'll get a wii eventually. it could be a long time, though...and we really want one. we'd usually be the type to get it on the launch date.
in fact, the only reason we didn't is because we were on a plane on our way back from florida on the morning of the launch. if we hadn't been, we'd have a wii right now. ;_; so yes, i'm very uncertain about what to put that money towards. *asks the cats to decide*
ragnarok online, anyone?
ragnarok gets it's own section because it's going great. xD we're getting more and more members every day, and people seem to be having fun on our server. we're still a growing server, but i think eventually we'll be a large one.
bryan put up the new website along with our new custom made control panel. that's right, it was specially made for our server by some very talented members (and style by bryan, of course). RO veterans have even told us it's the best they've ever seen. we're also building a database (monster/item db), which when logged in shows the rates of our server, and when not logged in shows the official rates of kRO. that way it will hopefully become a good db for many RO servers, not just our own.
and we also have a wiki that we hope to expand in the near future. it's still missing some key guides like job guides and such, but anyone is welcome to write their own guides to help complete it! we'll be enforcing a format, however, so that it becomes an organized and comprehensive guide. i have many plans for it (don't know why i've taken such an interest in the wiki), but unfortunately there are other things that take priority right now.
interested in checking out our RO server? nyxsis RO. remember it, it might be one of the most popular servers one day! ^_~
moving again this year
so to help us keep stable, we're probably going to be moving when our lease runs up (in august). as much as we love our current apartment, the rent is just too high coupled with out other bills. and since i'm not stuck to any particular school, we're pretty open to moving out of the area.
we currently live in santa clara / san jose. does anyone know a good place to live in northern california with low (or lower than average) living costs? the closer to a city the better, though i know that the probability is that places farther from cities are the ones that'd cost less in general.
bryan's even open to moving to another state....but i'm not sure i am. D: i guess i could be, if i find a place i like and that would help take some pressure off our finances. but definitely west coast! ♥
okay, i'm done
yeah, okay, i wasn't able to keep this nice and short. i should have known that. i'll stop finding more things to talk about, otherwise this may become a novel. a badly written one, at that.
it's been so long since i used lj for anything other than downloading lots of music and anime, but i'll try to check my friends list more often to see how you guys are doing. ^_^ feel free to fill me in a bit! as anti-social as i am, i still like you guys.
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