random
life has been so werid lately.. i dont even know where to start. Tims really close friend terry died last week in iraq and its just been such a rough week.. Its just such ashame i dont even have any words to describe this.. it just makes you realize... what the fuck are we fighting for.. life is so short and you never know when its going to be over. i wasnt close with terry like tim was but we hung out a couple times.. the last time i saw him he was in fridays with his dad and they were walking out and i waved and he smiled and thats the last time i saw him.. it just hurts your heart to imagine the pain that his family is feeling... i cant imagine the heart ache. i dont even know...
school is pretty time consuming.. but its not too bad. im meeting alot of new people and getting alot done. its pretty cool. im not really talking to anyone from highschool but its all good.. im over it all. i just wonder if i died tomorrow would any of them care? i tried to make things right many times.. but there is only so much you can say or do. i pretty much gave up..
i went out with my mom tonight.. we went to the mall and she got a dress for a wedding she has to go to. and she got me a watch for my birthday which i was pretty happy about :) then we went to bucca for dinner and i paid because i was feeling pretty good with my finances lately. the night was really nice until leo called and he had a stroke.. these last few months have just been so rough.. last month nikkis mom was diagnosed with cancer and it just hurt so bad to hear that.. mrs. l was there for me through everything.. i spent more time at her house then my own for a long time. i just dont know what to think anymore im just stressing out all the time.. which is why i have gastritis now which pretty much really sucks.. i want to throw up after i eat just about anything.. and im hungry all the time but dont want to eat anything.. its just kinda weird.
tims birthday is coming up and i really dont know what to get him.. im all out of ideas we have been going out too long haha.. im usually good with gift ideas but im just drained,.. ive got noooothing left. i need a vacation.
:(
alright time to sleep. goodnight.
school is pretty time consuming.. but its not too bad. im meeting alot of new people and getting alot done. its pretty cool. im not really talking to anyone from highschool but its all good.. im over it all. i just wonder if i died tomorrow would any of them care? i tried to make things right many times.. but there is only so much you can say or do. i pretty much gave up..
i went out with my mom tonight.. we went to the mall and she got a dress for a wedding she has to go to. and she got me a watch for my birthday which i was pretty happy about :) then we went to bucca for dinner and i paid because i was feeling pretty good with my finances lately. the night was really nice until leo called and he had a stroke.. these last few months have just been so rough.. last month nikkis mom was diagnosed with cancer and it just hurt so bad to hear that.. mrs. l was there for me through everything.. i spent more time at her house then my own for a long time. i just dont know what to think anymore im just stressing out all the time.. which is why i have gastritis now which pretty much really sucks.. i want to throw up after i eat just about anything.. and im hungry all the time but dont want to eat anything.. its just kinda weird.
tims birthday is coming up and i really dont know what to get him.. im all out of ideas we have been going out too long haha.. im usually good with gift ideas but im just drained,.. ive got noooothing left. i need a vacation.
:(
alright time to sleep. goodnight.