(no subject)
I am soo incredibly happy, and i just feel.....free. its as if this great weight really has been lifted off my shoulders, and its fantastic. I think its the fact that im really coming to terms with alot of shit in my life, in particular, what happened to me over the summer. ive realized that he completely, utterly, violated my trust, and i am in no way resposible for that, and that thats what really shitty people do. For the people who know what im talking about, i really wanna thank you guys for just supporting me through some really tough times. for those whose eyebrows are raising, and have no idea what im talking about, im going to be honest with you, because i honestly dont see the point of tip-toeing around the issue anymore. Theres no changing the past, and im just strong enough to admit that this is a pert of my identity, no matter how shitty it may be, because arent the things that happen to us ingrained in our very beings, and dont we shape ourselves around our successes and failures? Anyways, i feel strong enough to tell you this; as you may know, i ended up with really bad alchohol poisoning over the summer, and i am very lucky to even be alive. What you may not know is that on that night, i was sexually assaulted by a close friend of mine ( I will not mention his name for two reasons: A.) i dont want anyone going after him, thats not your job, and i could get in deep shit for it, B.) i refuse to defile my lj entry by mentioning it) For the past five months, i have been dealing with not only the ramifications of his actions, but with alot of personal shit. And it is a huge deal to me to finally be able to step put and say, this is what happened to me, and to be able to confront people, and assert myself and my own opinion. This is part of the reason i want to advocate rape and sexual abuse within the GSA. I feel that not only is it a good cause, bu tit is also some thing that will be liberating to me, but to other members of the GSA who im sure can relate to this post. Anyways, i want you to know that this is not a call for sympathy, or anything of that sort, but it is a sort of thank you for those who have been there even without knowing it on some of my roughest days. And i just wanted to express how because of your help, and your support, how you, my frieds have helped me through a difficult time in my life.