Instant Cray-Cray, Just (Don't) Add Water...
Who knew the zombie apocalypse would start in Toledo...
For those of you who haven't seen the news lately, an invasion of liver-eating, Blue Green Algae in Lake Erie is holding me, and about 500,000 others, hostage. The funny thing is that this is nothing new to us... we all know that The Lake has been making attempts to kill us all off for quite some time. Some years, it makes a better stab at it then others.
I should explain some of this...
Right now, it's the start "algae season" on the Lake Erie. It's nothing out of the ordinary for Toledo, its just all part of the four seasons that northern Ohio has... which are "Polar Vortex", "Tornado", "Fleet Week" and "Liver Eating Algae" (this is not counting the week-long "Kill All the Asian Carp Fest"... for some reason, tourist find this fun - not to mention further proof that everything in Northern Ohio is trying to kill you). However, since were going through a rain drought, currently, it's just making the algae worse (not to mention the city's got that cornchip-funk smell right now).
Just as the name implies, one of the major side-effects of "Liver Eating Blue Green Algae" is that it releases a toxin that, once it gets into you body, pretty much eats your liver (I know... I couldn't make this up if I tried). It doesn't matter if you touch it or eat, it has its own sketchy ways to whack us off. As because of this, we're been told, pretty much, to make no contact with the water. And, if you just so happen to, it's been advised that you call your local EPA.
However, due to "Ohio being Ohio", a bunch of algae grew right offshore and got into our city tap. And even if there was no liver-eating toxin and safe to drink, it's nasty look would make you think twice about that decision... with it's smell and neon green color that doesn't look like it should be a color found in nature.
I know... sounds like I just typed up an alternate 5th season opening to "The Walking Dead" (or some real bad zombie fan-fiction, take your pick).
Luckily for me, my addiction to a steady stream of caffeine and jogging has left me a good supply of Gatorade, diet Fagyo and canned OJ in my garage. But, I'm screwed with water since I'm one of those yahoos that can't justify spending 40% of my paycheck on bottled water when I'm already paying my water co-op for water which comes with free drinking water from my sink.
Today, we're on day two of no water. And, things have been interesting, to say the least:
This is the water/soda alias of my local grocery store, yesterday afternoon. Like the unlucky dude to my right, I was left with nothing but distilled water (hey, at least I can wash my dishes with it).
This is what it looked like at the grocery store a block down the road from where I was in the first photo. Makes my distilled water look a whole hell of a lot better...
This is the line I had to stand in for 1 1/2 hours just to get a case of FEMA water, this morning. They gave me more water then me and my dog really need, so I gave one of my jugs to the California firefighter fund.
But, I'm not panicking. I'm all cool. I've figured out how to wash my hair with half a bottle of Dasani and use the other half to make a pot of coffee. And, later today, I have to make that 40 mile run up to Detroit to find some water and a Dollar Store that still has red solo cups.
Now, if I start seeing Andrew Lincoln running around... then I'll start worrying.
For those of you who haven't seen the news lately, an invasion of liver-eating, Blue Green Algae in Lake Erie is holding me, and about 500,000 others, hostage. The funny thing is that this is nothing new to us... we all know that The Lake has been making attempts to kill us all off for quite some time. Some years, it makes a better stab at it then others.
I should explain some of this...
Right now, it's the start "algae season" on the Lake Erie. It's nothing out of the ordinary for Toledo, its just all part of the four seasons that northern Ohio has... which are "Polar Vortex", "Tornado", "Fleet Week" and "Liver Eating Algae" (this is not counting the week-long "Kill All the Asian Carp Fest"... for some reason, tourist find this fun - not to mention further proof that everything in Northern Ohio is trying to kill you). However, since were going through a rain drought, currently, it's just making the algae worse (not to mention the city's got that cornchip-funk smell right now).
Just as the name implies, one of the major side-effects of "Liver Eating Blue Green Algae" is that it releases a toxin that, once it gets into you body, pretty much eats your liver (I know... I couldn't make this up if I tried). It doesn't matter if you touch it or eat, it has its own sketchy ways to whack us off. As because of this, we're been told, pretty much, to make no contact with the water. And, if you just so happen to, it's been advised that you call your local EPA.
However, due to "Ohio being Ohio", a bunch of algae grew right offshore and got into our city tap. And even if there was no liver-eating toxin and safe to drink, it's nasty look would make you think twice about that decision... with it's smell and neon green color that doesn't look like it should be a color found in nature.
I know... sounds like I just typed up an alternate 5th season opening to "The Walking Dead" (or some real bad zombie fan-fiction, take your pick).
Luckily for me, my addiction to a steady stream of caffeine and jogging has left me a good supply of Gatorade, diet Fagyo and canned OJ in my garage. But, I'm screwed with water since I'm one of those yahoos that can't justify spending 40% of my paycheck on bottled water when I'm already paying my water co-op for water which comes with free drinking water from my sink.
Today, we're on day two of no water. And, things have been interesting, to say the least:
This is the water/soda alias of my local grocery store, yesterday afternoon. Like the unlucky dude to my right, I was left with nothing but distilled water (hey, at least I can wash my dishes with it).
This is what it looked like at the grocery store a block down the road from where I was in the first photo. Makes my distilled water look a whole hell of a lot better...
This is the line I had to stand in for 1 1/2 hours just to get a case of FEMA water, this morning. They gave me more water then me and my dog really need, so I gave one of my jugs to the California firefighter fund.
But, I'm not panicking. I'm all cool. I've figured out how to wash my hair with half a bottle of Dasani and use the other half to make a pot of coffee. And, later today, I have to make that 40 mile run up to Detroit to find some water and a Dollar Store that still has red solo cups.
Now, if I start seeing Andrew Lincoln running around... then I'll start worrying.