[fic] The Way of Bem
this should have a been a little ninja but certain people poked me to make it visible. sorry for the spam this week
m(_ _)m
Title: The Way of Bem (a random title only to name this bunch of drabbles somehow)
Author: gina84
Pairing: Jin/Bem
Disclaimer: tsk
Rating: G to R/NC-17
Summary: random Bem for bellemelody and then sort of a messed up story of an idol Jin who met Bem one rainy night…
A/N: Peri needs to stop distracting me… really >.> because no one is eager to get their f-page spammed with my random midnight shit… originally written in comments here
-1-
Bem's body was made to be licked. Starting at the bellybutton, dipping a tongue in then making small circling moves around it before tracing the perfect chest up, toying with nipples, one at time, gently biting on them then licking over them soothingly, then going up again, neck, chin... stopping at lips for a moment but not kissing (yet), only feeling his quivering, quick breath as everything is all new for him and unknown, overwhelming... and when his eyes close under the heavy pleasure spreading through his body, the tongue continues to Bem's horns, paying them an affectionate attention to show him there is nothing to be ashamed about for having them. To assure him that even with the horns and with a monster impatiently waiting inside of him for the first chance to get free, Bem is nowhere near being dangerous or scary or to be feared of or hated....
-2-
Bem is lying on a bed, silver hair messed on a pillow, he has just experienced the very first love making of his life, sweat is slowly drying up on his heated skin and everything is new, every feeling, the raging of his heart, so different from those suffocating moments when he turns into a monster; the humming in his head. His eyes are closed as unexpected tiredness is taking the best of him right now - it feels like he could sleep for ages; when he feels a soft touch on his shoulder, a finger traces the lines of his chapped skin.
Bem wants to shy away, ashamed of the ugly reminder of who - what - he really is, despite everything that has just happened between him and Jin; however, the finger stays even after his poor attempt to shake it off.
And just when he opens his mouth to form a silent plea - for what he wants to beg he doesn't really know - the finger draws away, only to be replaced by a pair of soft, warm lips. He is even aware that Jin is mumbling something against the hard skin... but Bem never asks.
Afraid that the answer could make him regret the moment he decided not to become human when he once had the chance...
-3-
The very first time they are really together, Bem is confused when Jin tells him it will hurt. He doesn't understand why Jin would be saying such thing; not at a moment when everything feels so good and sends tingling shivers straight into Bem's stomach, and then even lower, forcing him to rasp out a low, harrowing growl. Jin's lips are all over him, soft against Bem's naked, heating skin.
Jin can't do anything that might hurt, Bem is sure of it. He has been hurt so many times since the moment he was born. Both physically and emotionally, the latter being a thousand times worse, carving deep and painful wounds into Bem's soul, cuts to never be healed completely. Or at least Bem used to think so before he met Akanishi Jin on a rainy night, finding the idol standing under a tree and hiding himself from the rain. Bem offered the man an umbrella and accompanied him to a car. Their hands slightly grazed each other while the two were walking side by side; one hiding a monster deep within, the other being seen as one by people who didn't know him. Both hiding a significant part of their selves from the world. Jin's hand was warm and soft and wet. Made perfectly to hold Bem's, smaller and trembling.
Jin's touches have always been different from everything Bem has ever experienced; tender, nice... not harsh, not hurting.
Over the course of years, Jin has got to know who Bem is and what he turns into, yet has stayed and now, when it rains, it's Jin offering an umbrella to Bem.
Because Jin cares.
Yet, when Jin's finger slowly, carefully pushes against Bem's opening, the care and love and tenderness get mixed with fear and anxiety and pain, and Bem feels the green life in his veins awakening, searing, igniting just under his skin. He can't breathe and the world around loses its colors and shapes and it's difficult to fight against it. It has always been.
The monster is there to protect him - only he is not in danger now, or he thinks he isn't because he is with Jin after all and Jin would never...
Bem gasps and the monster cries out, scrambling out of the inside.
It's impossible to hold it back, hold it away. Bem gasps again, raising his spinning head a little to look at Jin and warn him. Instead of running away though, which would be the natural reaction after seeing the skin on Bem's limbs cracks and the agony wringing his naked, sweaty body, Jin leans down and takes Bem's cock into his mouth, lets his tongue flip soothing laps over the tip. Jin pulls his finger away and only caresses up and down the crack between the other's butt-cheeks; slow, gentle moves until Bem's skin is soft and white and perfect again, breathing even and heartbeat calm.
Jin presses a kiss to the twitching inner thigh and scoops up, lying right next to the confused, beautiful man who is watching him with a pair of wide, perplexed eyes of deep dark brown with sparkles of green.
They don't do anything; just lay there in silence, hands ghostly touching each other. And it takes Bem some time to understand - to comprehend - that Jin stopped not for being afraid of getting hurt, but not to hurt Bem...
-4-
Bem is learning.
It's strange to have someone to actually explain him things. He used to learn from making mistakes and getting hurt in the process. Now he has Jin who explains and leads the way, opens a brand new world in front of Bem's amazed eyes. The world full of sounds and lights and new feelings.
At times, it feels like a crazy ride on a roller coaster - which is a comparison Bem can make only after spending a sunny day in an amusement park -, other times it's dark and a bit scary even and Bem is glad when they are back in Jin's apartment and he can lean on the other's shoulder while sitting in the living room and watching a random show on tv.
The world around though, is not the only thing Bem is learning about.
He gets to know also new aspects of himself. Jin makes him decide which things Bem likes and which he doesn't - Jin tells him it's okay not to like something, it's also okay not to follow the crowd. Bem kind of knows this, says he is fine because he has always been different. Weird perhaps. That's when Jin kisses him hard to make him both focus and not, at the same time; and tells him that being different isn't 'weird' but 'special'. Jin tells Bem he has been always acting against what others have expected from him; has done things his way. And Jin doesn't mean to stop any time soon because he likes his freedom.
The only difference now is that he wants to share his precious freedom with Bem.
And when the thought finally settles and Bem accepts the fact Jin is serious, it's the most important lesson he might get. A lesson of love and being wanted.
-5-
It's rather strange how different yet similar they are. An idol and a man with a monster fitfully sleeping within. Both spend most of the days pretending, hiding.
Jin lets his guard down only when the door of his apartment falls close behind him. That's where he is safe. Home. With no one but Bem to see him, judge him - only Bem never does so because his love for Jin is unconditional, pure, real. Jin hopes, the other will feel the same way someday, will feel safe enough not to stay strictly self-cautious all the time.
He can see Bem trying. There are times when Bem even makes a random joke, not really realizing he does it, and then blushes when Jin laughs. Once or twice it was Bem who unconsciously snuggled closer to Jin while they were watching a movie. It's a small gesture here and there and Jin more and more can't help it but treasure these moments.
However, the times when they are together and the air around them gets thick with want and need, Jin can see how hard Bem tries not to lose himself completely. And it's not about hurting or getting hurt anymore but about what Bem turns into when he doesn't have his composure under control. He yet hasn't learnt not to hate the hidden part of him.
That's when Jin drags them both into the apartment one evening after having a dinner outside and watching a movie in a cinema; locks the door with one hand while the other hand pushes Bem against the nearest wall. The next moment they are kissing and panting and Bem's hands are under Jin's t-shirt while Jin's are roaming randomly through Bem's hair, rubbing the other's head and finding his horns. Bem stiffens but Jin doesn't waste time and grinds hard against his groin, presses them together and even Bem has to admit it feels too good to stop it now. As much as a part of him screams in alarm he should, he has to, because the world is turning green and fuzzy and not even Jin's tongue playing with his seems to be a sufficient distraction... The pain of cracking skin makes Bem gasp and yelp and he struggles to push Jin away, whimpers... and his hands are not his anymore by now, he freezes and keeps them off of Jin. He is thinking.
That's when Jin pulls away a bit - finally, and gives Bem a dull yet determined look; the kind of look that doesn't leave space for arguing or evasions.
They fuck with Jin's face and stomach pressed into the wall and Bem glued to his back. Everything is sweaty and rough and clumsy and Jin can feel the body behind him changes, grows, thickens; heavy breath is hot against Jin's neck and ear and big callused paws are gripping his hips when Bem pushes into him, rams deep and hard; and their voices are a mix of panting and crying and howling, the best fucking combination Jin has ever heard and he is so turned on he might explode just now.
Which he, actually, does in the next moment; trembles and comes and through the maze of his orgasm senses that Bem lets go, too, face buried into Jin's shoulder.
Bem's form changes back and Jin can feel it all on his skin; the way Bem softens and takes his usual beautiful features. Only then Jin turns his head a little and pouts to get a kiss.
He understands that there are moments Bem doesn't want him to witness, and the same goes for Jin, especially things he needs to do or say to be successful in the entertainment world - Bem wouldn't agree on many of them -; but it's okay. They can work on it, on tearing down the walls they have built up over the years around each other.
One of them might fall down just tonight, right now...
.idk if it’s the end
m(_ _)m
Title: The Way of Bem (a random title only to name this bunch of drabbles somehow)
Author: gina84
Pairing: Jin/Bem
Disclaimer: tsk
Rating: G to R/NC-17
Summary: random Bem for bellemelody and then sort of a messed up story of an idol Jin who met Bem one rainy night…
A/N: Peri needs to stop distracting me… really >.> because no one is eager to get their f-page spammed with my random midnight shit… originally written in comments here
-1-
Bem's body was made to be licked. Starting at the bellybutton, dipping a tongue in then making small circling moves around it before tracing the perfect chest up, toying with nipples, one at time, gently biting on them then licking over them soothingly, then going up again, neck, chin... stopping at lips for a moment but not kissing (yet), only feeling his quivering, quick breath as everything is all new for him and unknown, overwhelming... and when his eyes close under the heavy pleasure spreading through his body, the tongue continues to Bem's horns, paying them an affectionate attention to show him there is nothing to be ashamed about for having them. To assure him that even with the horns and with a monster impatiently waiting inside of him for the first chance to get free, Bem is nowhere near being dangerous or scary or to be feared of or hated....
-2-
Bem is lying on a bed, silver hair messed on a pillow, he has just experienced the very first love making of his life, sweat is slowly drying up on his heated skin and everything is new, every feeling, the raging of his heart, so different from those suffocating moments when he turns into a monster; the humming in his head. His eyes are closed as unexpected tiredness is taking the best of him right now - it feels like he could sleep for ages; when he feels a soft touch on his shoulder, a finger traces the lines of his chapped skin.
Bem wants to shy away, ashamed of the ugly reminder of who - what - he really is, despite everything that has just happened between him and Jin; however, the finger stays even after his poor attempt to shake it off.
And just when he opens his mouth to form a silent plea - for what he wants to beg he doesn't really know - the finger draws away, only to be replaced by a pair of soft, warm lips. He is even aware that Jin is mumbling something against the hard skin... but Bem never asks.
Afraid that the answer could make him regret the moment he decided not to become human when he once had the chance...
-3-
The very first time they are really together, Bem is confused when Jin tells him it will hurt. He doesn't understand why Jin would be saying such thing; not at a moment when everything feels so good and sends tingling shivers straight into Bem's stomach, and then even lower, forcing him to rasp out a low, harrowing growl. Jin's lips are all over him, soft against Bem's naked, heating skin.
Jin can't do anything that might hurt, Bem is sure of it. He has been hurt so many times since the moment he was born. Both physically and emotionally, the latter being a thousand times worse, carving deep and painful wounds into Bem's soul, cuts to never be healed completely. Or at least Bem used to think so before he met Akanishi Jin on a rainy night, finding the idol standing under a tree and hiding himself from the rain. Bem offered the man an umbrella and accompanied him to a car. Their hands slightly grazed each other while the two were walking side by side; one hiding a monster deep within, the other being seen as one by people who didn't know him. Both hiding a significant part of their selves from the world. Jin's hand was warm and soft and wet. Made perfectly to hold Bem's, smaller and trembling.
Jin's touches have always been different from everything Bem has ever experienced; tender, nice... not harsh, not hurting.
Over the course of years, Jin has got to know who Bem is and what he turns into, yet has stayed and now, when it rains, it's Jin offering an umbrella to Bem.
Because Jin cares.
Yet, when Jin's finger slowly, carefully pushes against Bem's opening, the care and love and tenderness get mixed with fear and anxiety and pain, and Bem feels the green life in his veins awakening, searing, igniting just under his skin. He can't breathe and the world around loses its colors and shapes and it's difficult to fight against it. It has always been.
The monster is there to protect him - only he is not in danger now, or he thinks he isn't because he is with Jin after all and Jin would never...
Bem gasps and the monster cries out, scrambling out of the inside.
It's impossible to hold it back, hold it away. Bem gasps again, raising his spinning head a little to look at Jin and warn him. Instead of running away though, which would be the natural reaction after seeing the skin on Bem's limbs cracks and the agony wringing his naked, sweaty body, Jin leans down and takes Bem's cock into his mouth, lets his tongue flip soothing laps over the tip. Jin pulls his finger away and only caresses up and down the crack between the other's butt-cheeks; slow, gentle moves until Bem's skin is soft and white and perfect again, breathing even and heartbeat calm.
Jin presses a kiss to the twitching inner thigh and scoops up, lying right next to the confused, beautiful man who is watching him with a pair of wide, perplexed eyes of deep dark brown with sparkles of green.
They don't do anything; just lay there in silence, hands ghostly touching each other. And it takes Bem some time to understand - to comprehend - that Jin stopped not for being afraid of getting hurt, but not to hurt Bem...
-4-
Bem is learning.
It's strange to have someone to actually explain him things. He used to learn from making mistakes and getting hurt in the process. Now he has Jin who explains and leads the way, opens a brand new world in front of Bem's amazed eyes. The world full of sounds and lights and new feelings.
At times, it feels like a crazy ride on a roller coaster - which is a comparison Bem can make only after spending a sunny day in an amusement park -, other times it's dark and a bit scary even and Bem is glad when they are back in Jin's apartment and he can lean on the other's shoulder while sitting in the living room and watching a random show on tv.
The world around though, is not the only thing Bem is learning about.
He gets to know also new aspects of himself. Jin makes him decide which things Bem likes and which he doesn't - Jin tells him it's okay not to like something, it's also okay not to follow the crowd. Bem kind of knows this, says he is fine because he has always been different. Weird perhaps. That's when Jin kisses him hard to make him both focus and not, at the same time; and tells him that being different isn't 'weird' but 'special'. Jin tells Bem he has been always acting against what others have expected from him; has done things his way. And Jin doesn't mean to stop any time soon because he likes his freedom.
The only difference now is that he wants to share his precious freedom with Bem.
And when the thought finally settles and Bem accepts the fact Jin is serious, it's the most important lesson he might get. A lesson of love and being wanted.
-5-
It's rather strange how different yet similar they are. An idol and a man with a monster fitfully sleeping within. Both spend most of the days pretending, hiding.
Jin lets his guard down only when the door of his apartment falls close behind him. That's where he is safe. Home. With no one but Bem to see him, judge him - only Bem never does so because his love for Jin is unconditional, pure, real. Jin hopes, the other will feel the same way someday, will feel safe enough not to stay strictly self-cautious all the time.
He can see Bem trying. There are times when Bem even makes a random joke, not really realizing he does it, and then blushes when Jin laughs. Once or twice it was Bem who unconsciously snuggled closer to Jin while they were watching a movie. It's a small gesture here and there and Jin more and more can't help it but treasure these moments.
However, the times when they are together and the air around them gets thick with want and need, Jin can see how hard Bem tries not to lose himself completely. And it's not about hurting or getting hurt anymore but about what Bem turns into when he doesn't have his composure under control. He yet hasn't learnt not to hate the hidden part of him.
That's when Jin drags them both into the apartment one evening after having a dinner outside and watching a movie in a cinema; locks the door with one hand while the other hand pushes Bem against the nearest wall. The next moment they are kissing and panting and Bem's hands are under Jin's t-shirt while Jin's are roaming randomly through Bem's hair, rubbing the other's head and finding his horns. Bem stiffens but Jin doesn't waste time and grinds hard against his groin, presses them together and even Bem has to admit it feels too good to stop it now. As much as a part of him screams in alarm he should, he has to, because the world is turning green and fuzzy and not even Jin's tongue playing with his seems to be a sufficient distraction... The pain of cracking skin makes Bem gasp and yelp and he struggles to push Jin away, whimpers... and his hands are not his anymore by now, he freezes and keeps them off of Jin. He is thinking.
That's when Jin pulls away a bit - finally, and gives Bem a dull yet determined look; the kind of look that doesn't leave space for arguing or evasions.
They fuck with Jin's face and stomach pressed into the wall and Bem glued to his back. Everything is sweaty and rough and clumsy and Jin can feel the body behind him changes, grows, thickens; heavy breath is hot against Jin's neck and ear and big callused paws are gripping his hips when Bem pushes into him, rams deep and hard; and their voices are a mix of panting and crying and howling, the best fucking combination Jin has ever heard and he is so turned on he might explode just now.
Which he, actually, does in the next moment; trembles and comes and through the maze of his orgasm senses that Bem lets go, too, face buried into Jin's shoulder.
Bem's form changes back and Jin can feel it all on his skin; the way Bem softens and takes his usual beautiful features. Only then Jin turns his head a little and pouts to get a kiss.
He understands that there are moments Bem doesn't want him to witness, and the same goes for Jin, especially things he needs to do or say to be successful in the entertainment world - Bem wouldn't agree on many of them -; but it's okay. They can work on it, on tearing down the walls they have built up over the years around each other.
One of them might fall down just tonight, right now...
.idk if it’s the end