First of all, med and health update stuff
So, partially stuff from FB yesterday, partially expanded notes and new info.
First of all, did go to ED (emergency department; can't refer to them as ERs anymore after so much time in hospital IT support; it's habit). I'm home again, things are basically ok, more on that in a bit.
As a result, I'll start with that part of things first, and then go backward, instead of arranging chronologically like I would normally tend. This post is on the ED stuff and concerns about possible thyroid issues.
________________________________
Here's what I sent, by email, to my partners, my housemates, my GP, and my awesomesauceboss last night around 10pm:
Hopefully really unlikely, but just in case, some emergency info
Folks, honestly, I'm getting scared. And I really hope I'm over-reacting, but I don't want any of you stuck holding the bag if I'm not.
Y'all know me. I don't want you scared, just prepared. Boy Scout at heart, all that.
I'm concerned enough about this that I'm also copying my GP and my AwesomeSauceBoss. Also all housemates, and my bio-family.
Also, FYI, my phone doesn't lock, and anyone who might need to be called is in there, mostly as individual icons on the desktop. All work contacts are in my address book prefixed with "Work". All med are prefixed with "Doctor" "Mom" and "Dad" are pretty self-explanatory. There's no one in my life that needs to be systematically prevented from getting access to my info. Share what you like, what you need. We all know that I'm not precisely a private person *snort*
I'm printing out a medical release of information form just, just in case, so Chad has it. He is welcome in my eyes to share full information with any or all of you. If I'm copying you, I trust you.
It's an outside possibility, but within reason that I might be showing symptoms that could turn into a Thyroid Storm. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001437/
If so, and if for any reason someone needs to make a decision about getting me to an ED without my coherent assistance, please be aware it might not just be psychiatric, that I'm currently making appts to be checked for Graves Disease, and that I gave you this info to aid in speedy diagnosis or elimination of possibilities. Don't do the usual "calm someone with psych problems down, reassure them it'll pass" -- that might not be what's going on here.
Right now, I don't feel safe treating my current symptoms as purely psychiatric. They might maybe not be, and if they're not, and it gets bad enough, it could be deadly. That's why I'm making sure all of you have this.
These are some of the symptoms I'm having severely now that could be related (or could just be some concatenation of my usual crap acting in new and creative ways, but it's feeling less and less that way)
I strongly suspect I likely have Graves Disease/hyperthyroidism. I am concerned about the outside chance that it's even possible I may be hitting a thyroid storm, which can be life-threatening. Chad's coming to get me, and he and I are going to make some decisions about an ED visit tonight.
The potential emergency situation: Thyroid Storm
Causes, incidence, and risk factors
Thyroid storm results from untreated hyperthyroidism. It is usually brought on by a stress such as trauma or infection.
Symptoms
Symptoms are severe and may include:
Agitation
Change in alertness (consciousness)
Confusion
Diarrhea (used to be normal for me, but has suddenly returned after weeks of constipation from the trileptal adjustment)
Fever
Pounding heart (tachycardia)
Restlessness
Shaking
Sweating
I haven't checked for a fever. I've had most of these, to varying degrees of severity and explanability, in the past few weeks. Right now, I'm physically shaking, and have been since an argument Sunday night. The Klonopin yesterday did a total number on me, but the shaking predated that.
The More Likely Day-to-Day issue that may be happening:
The most common symptoms of an overactive thyroid include the following:
Goiter, thyroid enlargement, neck sensations
Weight and appetite changes
Pregnancy-related problems
Feeling warm all the time, sweating, thirst, fever
Heart and blood pressure changes, fast heart rate, abnormal heart rhythms (not sure on this, but it definitely feels that way at the moment)
Bowel problems, diarrhea (long-standing, less likely to be a direct result imo, but suddenly more severe after months of radically improvement on new meds)
Fatigue, exhaustion (long-standing, less likely to be a direct result imo, but suddenly more severe after months of radically improvement on new meds)
Muscle and joint pain and fatigue (long-standing, less likely to be a direct result imo, but suddenly more severe after months of radically improvement on new meds)
Skin changes, blister-like bumps on the forehead and face, hives, itching, vitiligo.
Skin patches on the shins and legs (Graves' dermopathy/ pretibial myxedema)
Hair loss and other hair changes
Finger/nail changes, including swollen, wider fingertips and separation of nail bed from skin
Eye problems, including bulging, dryness, pain, redness, puffiness (very likely a trileptal side-effect, but I do have these)
Thinking/cognition problems, including difficult concentrating or making decisions, memory problems, and racing thoughts.
Changes to mood and feelings, including depression, mood swings, uncontrollable anger, irrational anger
Panic and anxiety, panic attacks
Fast reflexes, startling, tremors -- the shaking hands and full-body tremor is a lot of why I'm suddenly much more concerned.
Insomnia -- Boy Howdy, with bells on!
Especially concerning, apparently thyroid disorders and Bipolar are frequently comorbid, although they don't know why. So they may mimic each other, AND they may each be more likely to be present when the other is. I have no doubt as to the validity of the bipolar diagnosis, but my mania problems this summer have been really out-of-whack with my past history, and this could be a reason why.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graves_disease#Mental_impairment (yes, I've seen this documented more places than wikipedia)
So. Hopefully this is for nothing, but if not, I want all of you to have the info, just in case.
_________________________
And here's what I said on FB last night that's directly about the ED stuff:
Laughed my ass off singing the refrain at chad on the drive to the ed to make sure current symptoms are -just- my crazy, and not possible thyroid storm.
You may be right, I may be crazy. But it just might be a lunatic you're looking for!
Helpful comments:
L: "if you are at risk for thyroid storm, don't take benadryl for that hand. (I don't think you use aspirin or naproxen, but don't use aspirin or naproxen, either. Elevates circulating thyroid hormone levels.)"
Sarah Young: well fuck. excedrin migraine and benadryl yesterday. thanks for the heads up!
__________
The past month has been intense, it's been rough, it's been exhausting. It has also been soul-deep beautiful and affirming in truly profound ways. I may be itching and twitching in an ER waiting room, but the level of reconnection, resolution, and fulfillment has been so profound and full of joy. I don't know where to even start counting the amazing people in my life.
__________
Back from the ED, things relatively OK. Won't know all details until test results come in tomorrow, but at least verified that I'm not letting presumptions of mania override awareness of other possible etiology of strange new occurrences in my whacked out system (in other words, if I've got thyroid stuff going on, which is still entirely possible, I'm reassured pretty conclusively that it's not an immediate threat that can't wait til I see the endocrinologist in mid-September). EKG and some blood work, and a very confused ED staff.
Good ways to accidentally confuse ED staff: Be in a good mood. Suggest several other folks go ahead of you because you don't have to work in the morning and aren't in pain. Explain that you're manic, but you're not seeking treatment for your mania in the visit, even though it's central to the symptoms you're concerned about, and that you just want to verify it is, in fact, just your regular mania and not another health issue mimicking it.
Hooboy did we have to have that conversation a few times over. Yes, I'm manic. I know I'm manic, I _told_ you I was manic, as if it weren't already as clear as the nose on my face from my pressured speech alone. Yes, that's already handled. In treatment. No, really, got it covered. Seriously. Really. *headdesk* Finally managed to get through to them why I'd shown up (history of severe Graves Disease in family, and enough symptoms similar to a incipient thyroid storm that it'd be stupid to blow off), why I was concerned I might be overlooking something entirely possible given my family history and symptoms and some of the particular weirdnesses of this specific mania. Mania, as it manifests in my life, is not life-threatening. Ignoring a possible severe thyroid issue emerging could be. I like to be sure I can trust myself, when manic or depressed, to remain aware of this kind of shit. It's not too different from systematically verifying that new fibro symptoms are indeed just more fibro crap, and not the family history of rheumatoid arthritis or something else I shouldn't just mask with pain meds turning up. Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. Only sensible thing, when insured well enough to allow it, is to double-check and make sure. Worth the 50 buck copay and six hours of my life to make sure. And given that one of my concerns was a "hie thee to an ED right the fuck now" kind of thing, I'm glad I did.
Comments:
"Wow. Way to go for staying focused and grounded in the middle of such a lovely little mania. I hope they figure things out and get you stabilized soon, love."
Sarah Young: one of my more convenient insecurity-based defense mechanisms is utterly hating being the one being oblivious to my own behavior, and therefore being pathologically hyper-rational in reaction. I hate giving any reason for people to conclude that "crazy freak" means "incompetent". (this pattern is way broader and deeper than just in terms of dealing with biochemical brain-whack, and will probably be yet another intense LJ post sooner or later)
(in reply to comment about ED navigation/experience)
Sarah Young: since I work for the hospital system, I know it pretty well. That makes it easier to avoid the worst sorts of ED experiences. I went with Lutheran because it's small, it's walking distance from my house, and it also happens to have the inpatient psych ward if I were to need that for some reason (double-bonus, my awesome old outpatient psych who now does inpatient only works there!).
___________
Today:
UPS has brought me no meds yet today. This is my annoyed face.
Comments:
Sarah Young Yeah. The mania's problematic in various ways, but the prospect of having to start from 0 again and be whalloped in the face with the fatigue and crap as I readjust to it? Not pleased.
Sarah Young Doing relatively well, all in all. Still manic as all fuck, haven't been able to write a post in amidst making notes for myself on all the posts I _want_ to write *eyeroll*.
Sarah Young But had a really productive conversation with a housemate that resolved some long-term nibbling tensions, and that was excellent. And caught up on some sleep, although nowhere near enough, so I'm still migrainey and a bit fuzzy-brained. Overall, though, pretty good, and life at the moment is basically crisis-free.
Sarah Young Mine's definitely migraine; I'm jumping at every loud noise and yelling at it to stop, light-sensitive, and fuzzy, although not in too much active pain when the dogs aren't barking or the TV isn't too loud. Kinda nervous about adding more meds to my currently fuckered system, though, so debating whether to hit the migraine meds or not at the moment.
_____________________
*chuckle* brief IM convo with Chad just a sec ago:
Chad: heading up now. love you. btw - your status still says "work is crazy"
me: chuckle Should I change it to "crazy is work"?
Chad: Hehe
_____________________
*scooby doo whoosh*
_____________________
OK, bouncing back to Monday and earlier Tuesday, which was a whole different sort of fuckered than late Tuesday/early Wednesday. Here's the FB stuff from that (almost mostly medical, with a brief pause for station identification and brother appreciation)
____________________
How happy am I that my brother James just informed me this is now "my" ringtone on his phone?
The Blues Brothers - Peter Gunn Theme
____________________
Half-written, never got posted yesterday (Tuesday):
FYI, currently struggling mostly with the mania, the joys of the effects of testing Klonopin as an immediate attack on an out-of-control mania (not an usual tactic, but boy howdy not the med for me), and a symptom cluster that's rapidly worsening and looking more and more like it might be Graves Disease (which is partially heritary, and of which my Grandmother had an absolutely buttstomping case). The more I read, the more "Well, shit!" is popping out of my mouth.
In my email today:
This message was sent to you at the request of CC HOME DELIVERY SERVICE to notify you that the electronic shipment information below has been transmitted to UPS. The physical package(s) may or may not have actually been tendered to UPS for shipment. To verify the actual transit status of your shipment, click on the tracking link below or contact CC HOME DELIVERY SERVICE directly.
Important Delivery Information
Scheduled Delivery: 08-August-2012 -- So. Maybe I finally get my full dose of Trileptal back tomorrow. That would be friggin' lovely, because I'm exhausted from this mania, and getting tired of having to explain I know it's dramatic and severe, and yes, I'm already taking care of it, and also, insurance companies suck.
Additionally, that shipment should include the prescription-strength hydrocortisone cream! I'm running out of OTC-strength, and my Aveeno anti-itch lotion, and everything that makes a whit of difference, mostly because I'm having to slather it all on like sunscreen, it's so bad and extensive. Argh, argh, argh, *scratchscratch*
gratuitous pic of some of the worst and most visible, on the left hand. It's both hands and arms up to the shoulders, a bit on my back, my feet, my lower legs, and around the edges of my face. *is grumpy*
Comments I added there: So this is the worst of the awful rash/eczema that's been going on the past few weeks. If hydrocortisone cream were meant to be slathered on like sunscreen, they wouldn't sell it in such tiny tubes.
This is my left hand, since it's the worst, but it's all over.
Seriously, I know! If I weren't already having problems with batshit insanity, this would make me batshit insane!
Tried Benadryl, tried Zantac (although it's sold for stomach issues, it's actually an antihistamine that affects a different pathway than benadryl, and a good one to try if benadryl isn't working)
Doc has ordered prescription-strength hydrocortizone cream, and that should arrive tomorrow, Maude be good.
But we don't know entirely if it's a stress reaction from the events of the past month, a med side-effect, my body doing it's usual weird-ass rashy stuff, or what. And since we're in the midst of so many changes, and it doesn't seem life-threatening, we're holding off trying to pull me off things to experiment in that regard, and hoping it resolves on its own.
(on steroids) But steroids can have so deeply fucked mood effects, and with everything else going on, I'm desperately trying to avoid adding that to the mix.
I get idiopathic rashes that don't respond well to treatment, it could be an allergic reaction to some med change or another, it could be tied to sun sensitivity with the trileptal maybe... there are just way too many possibilities at the moment.
Roughly in order of posting:
Never rains but it pours. Having an extraordinarily rough night and morning. To several folks in particular, please do NOT take that to mean that it's a bad time to ask for support. If anything it's downright therapeutic right now, and I'm torn between the need to speak my own pain and the fear that'll be misinterpreted in that way. So please, please don't think that, ok? For my sake?
____________________
OK, I may come back and fill in more of this, but I keep not posting it because it's not done and I can't focus. So here's what's here. Sorry for any incoherency or missed bits; those're over on facebook, and I'm happy to clarify or answer any questions if you don't have access and are curious.
___________________
On the positive side, meds finally got here, and although I've had a migraine since Monday it's slowly getting better. I'm woozy from all the meds, but able to tolerate a computer screen again, and generally improving. Also, part of the med shipment was prescription-strength hydrocortisone cream, and I'm feeling quite a bit better after slathering that over a good third of my body.
First of all, did go to ED (emergency department; can't refer to them as ERs anymore after so much time in hospital IT support; it's habit). I'm home again, things are basically ok, more on that in a bit.
As a result, I'll start with that part of things first, and then go backward, instead of arranging chronologically like I would normally tend. This post is on the ED stuff and concerns about possible thyroid issues.
________________________________
Here's what I sent, by email, to my partners, my housemates, my GP, and my awesomesauceboss last night around 10pm:
Hopefully really unlikely, but just in case, some emergency info
Folks, honestly, I'm getting scared. And I really hope I'm over-reacting, but I don't want any of you stuck holding the bag if I'm not.
Y'all know me. I don't want you scared, just prepared. Boy Scout at heart, all that.
I'm concerned enough about this that I'm also copying my GP and my AwesomeSauceBoss. Also all housemates, and my bio-family.
Also, FYI, my phone doesn't lock, and anyone who might need to be called is in there, mostly as individual icons on the desktop. All work contacts are in my address book prefixed with "Work". All med are prefixed with "Doctor" "Mom" and "Dad" are pretty self-explanatory. There's no one in my life that needs to be systematically prevented from getting access to my info. Share what you like, what you need. We all know that I'm not precisely a private person *snort*
I'm printing out a medical release of information form just, just in case, so Chad has it. He is welcome in my eyes to share full information with any or all of you. If I'm copying you, I trust you.
It's an outside possibility, but within reason that I might be showing symptoms that could turn into a Thyroid Storm. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001437/
If so, and if for any reason someone needs to make a decision about getting me to an ED without my coherent assistance, please be aware it might not just be psychiatric, that I'm currently making appts to be checked for Graves Disease, and that I gave you this info to aid in speedy diagnosis or elimination of possibilities. Don't do the usual "calm someone with psych problems down, reassure them it'll pass" -- that might not be what's going on here.
Right now, I don't feel safe treating my current symptoms as purely psychiatric. They might maybe not be, and if they're not, and it gets bad enough, it could be deadly. That's why I'm making sure all of you have this.
These are some of the symptoms I'm having severely now that could be related (or could just be some concatenation of my usual crap acting in new and creative ways, but it's feeling less and less that way)
I strongly suspect I likely have Graves Disease/hyperthyroidism. I am concerned about the outside chance that it's even possible I may be hitting a thyroid storm, which can be life-threatening. Chad's coming to get me, and he and I are going to make some decisions about an ED visit tonight.
The potential emergency situation: Thyroid Storm
Causes, incidence, and risk factors
Thyroid storm results from untreated hyperthyroidism. It is usually brought on by a stress such as trauma or infection.
Symptoms
Symptoms are severe and may include:
Agitation
Change in alertness (consciousness)
Confusion
Diarrhea (used to be normal for me, but has suddenly returned after weeks of constipation from the trileptal adjustment)
Fever
Pounding heart (tachycardia)
Restlessness
Shaking
Sweating
I haven't checked for a fever. I've had most of these, to varying degrees of severity and explanability, in the past few weeks. Right now, I'm physically shaking, and have been since an argument Sunday night. The Klonopin yesterday did a total number on me, but the shaking predated that.
The More Likely Day-to-Day issue that may be happening:
The most common symptoms of an overactive thyroid include the following:
Goiter, thyroid enlargement, neck sensations
Weight and appetite changes
Pregnancy-related problems
Feeling warm all the time, sweating, thirst, fever
Heart and blood pressure changes, fast heart rate, abnormal heart rhythms (not sure on this, but it definitely feels that way at the moment)
Bowel problems, diarrhea (long-standing, less likely to be a direct result imo, but suddenly more severe after months of radically improvement on new meds)
Fatigue, exhaustion (long-standing, less likely to be a direct result imo, but suddenly more severe after months of radically improvement on new meds)
Muscle and joint pain and fatigue (long-standing, less likely to be a direct result imo, but suddenly more severe after months of radically improvement on new meds)
Skin changes, blister-like bumps on the forehead and face, hives, itching, vitiligo.
Skin patches on the shins and legs (Graves' dermopathy/ pretibial myxedema)
Hair loss and other hair changes
Finger/nail changes, including swollen, wider fingertips and separation of nail bed from skin
Eye problems, including bulging, dryness, pain, redness, puffiness (very likely a trileptal side-effect, but I do have these)
Thinking/cognition problems, including difficult concentrating or making decisions, memory problems, and racing thoughts.
Changes to mood and feelings, including depression, mood swings, uncontrollable anger, irrational anger
Panic and anxiety, panic attacks
Fast reflexes, startling, tremors -- the shaking hands and full-body tremor is a lot of why I'm suddenly much more concerned.
Insomnia -- Boy Howdy, with bells on!
Especially concerning, apparently thyroid disorders and Bipolar are frequently comorbid, although they don't know why. So they may mimic each other, AND they may each be more likely to be present when the other is. I have no doubt as to the validity of the bipolar diagnosis, but my mania problems this summer have been really out-of-whack with my past history, and this could be a reason why.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graves_disease#Mental_impairment (yes, I've seen this documented more places than wikipedia)
So. Hopefully this is for nothing, but if not, I want all of you to have the info, just in case.
_________________________
And here's what I said on FB last night that's directly about the ED stuff:
Laughed my ass off singing the refrain at chad on the drive to the ed to make sure current symptoms are -just- my crazy, and not possible thyroid storm.
You may be right, I may be crazy. But it just might be a lunatic you're looking for!
Helpful comments:
L: "if you are at risk for thyroid storm, don't take benadryl for that hand. (I don't think you use aspirin or naproxen, but don't use aspirin or naproxen, either. Elevates circulating thyroid hormone levels.)"
Sarah Young: well fuck. excedrin migraine and benadryl yesterday. thanks for the heads up!
__________
The past month has been intense, it's been rough, it's been exhausting. It has also been soul-deep beautiful and affirming in truly profound ways. I may be itching and twitching in an ER waiting room, but the level of reconnection, resolution, and fulfillment has been so profound and full of joy. I don't know where to even start counting the amazing people in my life.
__________
Back from the ED, things relatively OK. Won't know all details until test results come in tomorrow, but at least verified that I'm not letting presumptions of mania override awareness of other possible etiology of strange new occurrences in my whacked out system (in other words, if I've got thyroid stuff going on, which is still entirely possible, I'm reassured pretty conclusively that it's not an immediate threat that can't wait til I see the endocrinologist in mid-September). EKG and some blood work, and a very confused ED staff.
Good ways to accidentally confuse ED staff: Be in a good mood. Suggest several other folks go ahead of you because you don't have to work in the morning and aren't in pain. Explain that you're manic, but you're not seeking treatment for your mania in the visit, even though it's central to the symptoms you're concerned about, and that you just want to verify it is, in fact, just your regular mania and not another health issue mimicking it.
Hooboy did we have to have that conversation a few times over. Yes, I'm manic. I know I'm manic, I _told_ you I was manic, as if it weren't already as clear as the nose on my face from my pressured speech alone. Yes, that's already handled. In treatment. No, really, got it covered. Seriously. Really. *headdesk* Finally managed to get through to them why I'd shown up (history of severe Graves Disease in family, and enough symptoms similar to a incipient thyroid storm that it'd be stupid to blow off), why I was concerned I might be overlooking something entirely possible given my family history and symptoms and some of the particular weirdnesses of this specific mania. Mania, as it manifests in my life, is not life-threatening. Ignoring a possible severe thyroid issue emerging could be. I like to be sure I can trust myself, when manic or depressed, to remain aware of this kind of shit. It's not too different from systematically verifying that new fibro symptoms are indeed just more fibro crap, and not the family history of rheumatoid arthritis or something else I shouldn't just mask with pain meds turning up. Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. Only sensible thing, when insured well enough to allow it, is to double-check and make sure. Worth the 50 buck copay and six hours of my life to make sure. And given that one of my concerns was a "hie thee to an ED right the fuck now" kind of thing, I'm glad I did.
Comments:
"Wow. Way to go for staying focused and grounded in the middle of such a lovely little mania. I hope they figure things out and get you stabilized soon, love."
Sarah Young: one of my more convenient insecurity-based defense mechanisms is utterly hating being the one being oblivious to my own behavior, and therefore being pathologically hyper-rational in reaction. I hate giving any reason for people to conclude that "crazy freak" means "incompetent". (this pattern is way broader and deeper than just in terms of dealing with biochemical brain-whack, and will probably be yet another intense LJ post sooner or later)
(in reply to comment about ED navigation/experience)
Sarah Young: since I work for the hospital system, I know it pretty well. That makes it easier to avoid the worst sorts of ED experiences. I went with Lutheran because it's small, it's walking distance from my house, and it also happens to have the inpatient psych ward if I were to need that for some reason (double-bonus, my awesome old outpatient psych who now does inpatient only works there!).
___________
Today:
UPS has brought me no meds yet today. This is my annoyed face.
Comments:
Sarah Young Yeah. The mania's problematic in various ways, but the prospect of having to start from 0 again and be whalloped in the face with the fatigue and crap as I readjust to it? Not pleased.
Sarah Young Doing relatively well, all in all. Still manic as all fuck, haven't been able to write a post in amidst making notes for myself on all the posts I _want_ to write *eyeroll*.
Sarah Young But had a really productive conversation with a housemate that resolved some long-term nibbling tensions, and that was excellent. And caught up on some sleep, although nowhere near enough, so I'm still migrainey and a bit fuzzy-brained. Overall, though, pretty good, and life at the moment is basically crisis-free.
Sarah Young Mine's definitely migraine; I'm jumping at every loud noise and yelling at it to stop, light-sensitive, and fuzzy, although not in too much active pain when the dogs aren't barking or the TV isn't too loud. Kinda nervous about adding more meds to my currently fuckered system, though, so debating whether to hit the migraine meds or not at the moment.
_____________________
*chuckle* brief IM convo with Chad just a sec ago:
Chad: heading up now. love you. btw - your status still says "work is crazy"
me: chuckle Should I change it to "crazy is work"?
Chad: Hehe
_____________________
*scooby doo whoosh*
_____________________
OK, bouncing back to Monday and earlier Tuesday, which was a whole different sort of fuckered than late Tuesday/early Wednesday. Here's the FB stuff from that (almost mostly medical, with a brief pause for station identification and brother appreciation)
____________________
How happy am I that my brother James just informed me this is now "my" ringtone on his phone?
The Blues Brothers - Peter Gunn Theme
____________________
Half-written, never got posted yesterday (Tuesday):
FYI, currently struggling mostly with the mania, the joys of the effects of testing Klonopin as an immediate attack on an out-of-control mania (not an usual tactic, but boy howdy not the med for me), and a symptom cluster that's rapidly worsening and looking more and more like it might be Graves Disease (which is partially heritary, and of which my Grandmother had an absolutely buttstomping case). The more I read, the more "Well, shit!" is popping out of my mouth.
In my email today:
This message was sent to you at the request of CC HOME DELIVERY SERVICE to notify you that the electronic shipment information below has been transmitted to UPS. The physical package(s) may or may not have actually been tendered to UPS for shipment. To verify the actual transit status of your shipment, click on the tracking link below or contact CC HOME DELIVERY SERVICE directly.
Important Delivery Information
Scheduled Delivery: 08-August-2012 -- So. Maybe I finally get my full dose of Trileptal back tomorrow. That would be friggin' lovely, because I'm exhausted from this mania, and getting tired of having to explain I know it's dramatic and severe, and yes, I'm already taking care of it, and also, insurance companies suck.
Additionally, that shipment should include the prescription-strength hydrocortisone cream! I'm running out of OTC-strength, and my Aveeno anti-itch lotion, and everything that makes a whit of difference, mostly because I'm having to slather it all on like sunscreen, it's so bad and extensive. Argh, argh, argh, *scratchscratch*
gratuitous pic of some of the worst and most visible, on the left hand. It's both hands and arms up to the shoulders, a bit on my back, my feet, my lower legs, and around the edges of my face. *is grumpy*
Comments I added there: So this is the worst of the awful rash/eczema that's been going on the past few weeks. If hydrocortisone cream were meant to be slathered on like sunscreen, they wouldn't sell it in such tiny tubes.
This is my left hand, since it's the worst, but it's all over.
Seriously, I know! If I weren't already having problems with batshit insanity, this would make me batshit insane!
Tried Benadryl, tried Zantac (although it's sold for stomach issues, it's actually an antihistamine that affects a different pathway than benadryl, and a good one to try if benadryl isn't working)
Doc has ordered prescription-strength hydrocortizone cream, and that should arrive tomorrow, Maude be good.
But we don't know entirely if it's a stress reaction from the events of the past month, a med side-effect, my body doing it's usual weird-ass rashy stuff, or what. And since we're in the midst of so many changes, and it doesn't seem life-threatening, we're holding off trying to pull me off things to experiment in that regard, and hoping it resolves on its own.
(on steroids) But steroids can have so deeply fucked mood effects, and with everything else going on, I'm desperately trying to avoid adding that to the mix.
I get idiopathic rashes that don't respond well to treatment, it could be an allergic reaction to some med change or another, it could be tied to sun sensitivity with the trileptal maybe... there are just way too many possibilities at the moment.
Roughly in order of posting:
Never rains but it pours. Having an extraordinarily rough night and morning. To several folks in particular, please do NOT take that to mean that it's a bad time to ask for support. If anything it's downright therapeutic right now, and I'm torn between the need to speak my own pain and the fear that'll be misinterpreted in that way. So please, please don't think that, ok? For my sake?
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OK, I may come back and fill in more of this, but I keep not posting it because it's not done and I can't focus. So here's what's here. Sorry for any incoherency or missed bits; those're over on facebook, and I'm happy to clarify or answer any questions if you don't have access and are curious.
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On the positive side, meds finally got here, and although I've had a migraine since Monday it's slowly getting better. I'm woozy from all the meds, but able to tolerate a computer screen again, and generally improving. Also, part of the med shipment was prescription-strength hydrocortisone cream, and I'm feeling quite a bit better after slathering that over a good third of my body.