Flaring
Home, feeling like crap (the extra-long day yesterday kicked my ass), but in a relatively good mood nonetheless. Going to soak in the hottub in a bit and see if it makes some of the hurt go away. Somehow the past few hours have been "liquid everywhere" time, though. Woke up to find that one of the squirty bottles we've got for critter control had opened up all over one of the chairs, awaking some long-dormant stink of some sort, that a full Dr. Pepper in my backpack had been breached by one of the pins on the bag and slowly emptied into my full backback and all over the floor in the middle of the night, and then while cleaning up that monster mess, managed to dump half a can of coke on the floor to boot. Oy. Becca's trick rib is making her all hurty too, so the two of us doing morning cleanup involved a lot of groaning and cursing. My backpack is now hanging in the shower, slowly drying from its washing. My big fluffy blanket is in the wash, the content of the backpack are piled everywhere drying from their encounters. The floor now has a large suspiciously clean spot. For the amount of stuff in my backpack, and how much is paper, I got off relatively light in terms of damage, thankfully.
Grafton's bringing back breakfast from Nicks in a bit (the awesome little diner across the street from us, with the $1.99 breakfast special). His friend Mike is in town, which is always nice. I've gotten some stuff done this morning, though. I called the ombuds dept at the clinic and left compliments for my awesome neurologist and NP, and concerns about the automated blood pressure cuff. They called me back about the latter, and I got a chance to explain my concerns at length. So, yay on that. I also looked into the Cleveland Wheels program (our local car coop). Sadly it's nowhere near our neighborhood at the moment, but if you're in University Circle, Oberlin, or Shaker Square, check it out! I talked to the household, and we decided to hold off on car purchase until the tax refund, and then get something in a bit better condition. Mark and Liv have been especially generous with use of their vehicles, and we should be able to get through 'til then.
I also finally got moving on setting up my will and other documents. I've been annoyed with myself for a while about procrastinating on this. My family is very proactive and matter-of-fact about this sort of stuff; we have an annual Christmas Get-together "what if Dad dies" discussion, and it's something I very much understand and interpret as a powerful sign of his love for us, that he's got it all worked out so amazingly thoroughly. It's not a topic I find weird or depressing to discuss, thanks to his example, so I've talked a lot to both my family and the household about it. Thankfully, I have a family that deeply respects my right to my decisions in life; when Gramps died they included his "adopted grandchilden" neighbors as members of the family, and they understand the role my chosen family plays in my life. One of the things I love best about my family is that I can trust all of them implicitly -- not to always agree with me, but to respect who I am and the decisions I make in life, and to do their best to follow my wishes. That makes "doing the paperwork" a lot easier.
Wills and other fun stuff...
Hey folks... Just a heads up that I'm working all this stuff out at
the moment. Wanted to run it past everyone, make sure it makes sense
and sounds reasonable and fair. Right now I'm thinking in terms of
preserving and maintaining the household, and the fact that most of
the family is out-of-state, were something to happen to me. Obviously
Becca would be working with everyone on all this stuff, but since
she's the most stable and long-term housemate, I think she makes sense
as primary executor in most capacities. Liv and Grafton are backups;
I trust both of them implicitly, but it's harder to predict how long
or when they'll be residential parts of the household, and I don't
want to leave anyone stuck trying to handle things long-distance or
get dragged back from someplace else they're at. James, Matt, and
Anna, you'd mostly be getting family and personal items, not any real
money (except the same couple hundred for something nice that everyone
will get). I hope that's ok. Mom and Dad, I'm planning on the
assumption that I'll outlive both of you, but even if I didn't, I
assume you don't want me pushing the family stuff you passed on to me
right back to you again. I should, however, make plans that include
the possibility of one or both of you being residents of the
household, if you were to move in at some point, since I specifically
purchased this place with that in mind as a possibility. Mental note
-- I also want to make explicit my desires in regards to my online
existence and personal records (primarily contents of my livejournal
and email, which I would wish to be accessible to my loved ones and
future historians/researchers). So, that's the deal. Any and all
feedback welcome.
Gini,
I know Bec had talked to you some about my interest in getting a will
and other documents set up sometime soon. Here's the full run-down of
what I think I need to keep the household safe if something happens to
me; is it stuff you could help me with? About what kind of range of
cost is it likely to run to get it all set up? I may not use all the
right terminology below; I don't know a whole lot about this stuff,
and I'm hoping to get some advice about what kinds of documents I
need, and what is and isn't possible.
1. Medical release of information, including psychiatric release for
all current housemates and a few other folks. If I ever end up in the
psych ward, I know how difficult it is to get any kind of information
at all as a friend. This would make sure the household's never in
that spot.
2. Durable Financial Power of Attorney for Becca, with Liv then
Grafton as backups (I need something that specifies still being
involved with the household as a determining factor, in case folks
move away). I probably also need to add Becca to my bank account with
right of survivorship.
3. Living Will, with Becca (then Liv, then Grafton) as Medical Power
of Attorney.
4. Will. I own the houses, and I have life insurance totally
approximately 137,000. I need to update the beneficiary on both
policies (currently set as my little brother, since he hadn't attended
college yet when I set them). If I died tomorrow, I'd want the house
paid off (about 76,000), and the majority of the remaining (after
payment of bills and final expenses) put into a trust for the
household (with executor in the same order as above), for maintenance,
taxes, improvements, and care of the critters. I'd need to set up for
eventualities like folks wanting to sell the houses, and how to
disperse profits amongst the household as it exists at the time. I'd
want some charitable contributions made, and a bit of money toward
each individual to get something for themselves that they'll enjoy. I
need to arrange for dispersal of my belongings amongst my brothers and
the household, especially since I have a large number of the family
heirlooms. I also want to specify my wishes for disposal of my body,
which I've talked about at length with my family and the household.
Organ donation first, then anything useful for art or science
(bodyworks, tattoo preservation, art, etc), burn all leftovers and
scatter them as folks (family and friends) feel is appropriate (I have
some specific suggestions). Some money for a memorial party for my
friends, brothers, and sister-in-law. My immediate family will likely
do a no-cost private memorial service with Dad officiating if he and
Mom are still alive. Not a penny more to the funeral industry than
absolutely necessary.
If you notice anything I've overlooked, please let me know. I know
you're way busy right now, but I'm looking at doing this in January or
February with my tax refund money. No rush on getting back to me.
Thanks!
--Sarah
OK, breakfast, pain meds, and hot tub now. Damned brainfog headachey crap. Body aches are much less irritating than the brainaches that make me incapable of organized thought.
Grafton's bringing back breakfast from Nicks in a bit (the awesome little diner across the street from us, with the $1.99 breakfast special). His friend Mike is in town, which is always nice. I've gotten some stuff done this morning, though. I called the ombuds dept at the clinic and left compliments for my awesome neurologist and NP, and concerns about the automated blood pressure cuff. They called me back about the latter, and I got a chance to explain my concerns at length. So, yay on that. I also looked into the Cleveland Wheels program (our local car coop). Sadly it's nowhere near our neighborhood at the moment, but if you're in University Circle, Oberlin, or Shaker Square, check it out! I talked to the household, and we decided to hold off on car purchase until the tax refund, and then get something in a bit better condition. Mark and Liv have been especially generous with use of their vehicles, and we should be able to get through 'til then.
I also finally got moving on setting up my will and other documents. I've been annoyed with myself for a while about procrastinating on this. My family is very proactive and matter-of-fact about this sort of stuff; we have an annual Christmas Get-together "what if Dad dies" discussion, and it's something I very much understand and interpret as a powerful sign of his love for us, that he's got it all worked out so amazingly thoroughly. It's not a topic I find weird or depressing to discuss, thanks to his example, so I've talked a lot to both my family and the household about it. Thankfully, I have a family that deeply respects my right to my decisions in life; when Gramps died they included his "adopted grandchilden" neighbors as members of the family, and they understand the role my chosen family plays in my life. One of the things I love best about my family is that I can trust all of them implicitly -- not to always agree with me, but to respect who I am and the decisions I make in life, and to do their best to follow my wishes. That makes "doing the paperwork" a lot easier.
Wills and other fun stuff...
Hey folks... Just a heads up that I'm working all this stuff out at
the moment. Wanted to run it past everyone, make sure it makes sense
and sounds reasonable and fair. Right now I'm thinking in terms of
preserving and maintaining the household, and the fact that most of
the family is out-of-state, were something to happen to me. Obviously
Becca would be working with everyone on all this stuff, but since
she's the most stable and long-term housemate, I think she makes sense
as primary executor in most capacities. Liv and Grafton are backups;
I trust both of them implicitly, but it's harder to predict how long
or when they'll be residential parts of the household, and I don't
want to leave anyone stuck trying to handle things long-distance or
get dragged back from someplace else they're at. James, Matt, and
Anna, you'd mostly be getting family and personal items, not any real
money (except the same couple hundred for something nice that everyone
will get). I hope that's ok. Mom and Dad, I'm planning on the
assumption that I'll outlive both of you, but even if I didn't, I
assume you don't want me pushing the family stuff you passed on to me
right back to you again. I should, however, make plans that include
the possibility of one or both of you being residents of the
household, if you were to move in at some point, since I specifically
purchased this place with that in mind as a possibility. Mental note
-- I also want to make explicit my desires in regards to my online
existence and personal records (primarily contents of my livejournal
and email, which I would wish to be accessible to my loved ones and
future historians/researchers). So, that's the deal. Any and all
feedback welcome.
Gini,
I know Bec had talked to you some about my interest in getting a will
and other documents set up sometime soon. Here's the full run-down of
what I think I need to keep the household safe if something happens to
me; is it stuff you could help me with? About what kind of range of
cost is it likely to run to get it all set up? I may not use all the
right terminology below; I don't know a whole lot about this stuff,
and I'm hoping to get some advice about what kinds of documents I
need, and what is and isn't possible.
1. Medical release of information, including psychiatric release for
all current housemates and a few other folks. If I ever end up in the
psych ward, I know how difficult it is to get any kind of information
at all as a friend. This would make sure the household's never in
that spot.
2. Durable Financial Power of Attorney for Becca, with Liv then
Grafton as backups (I need something that specifies still being
involved with the household as a determining factor, in case folks
move away). I probably also need to add Becca to my bank account with
right of survivorship.
3. Living Will, with Becca (then Liv, then Grafton) as Medical Power
of Attorney.
4. Will. I own the houses, and I have life insurance totally
approximately 137,000. I need to update the beneficiary on both
policies (currently set as my little brother, since he hadn't attended
college yet when I set them). If I died tomorrow, I'd want the house
paid off (about 76,000), and the majority of the remaining (after
payment of bills and final expenses) put into a trust for the
household (with executor in the same order as above), for maintenance,
taxes, improvements, and care of the critters. I'd need to set up for
eventualities like folks wanting to sell the houses, and how to
disperse profits amongst the household as it exists at the time. I'd
want some charitable contributions made, and a bit of money toward
each individual to get something for themselves that they'll enjoy. I
need to arrange for dispersal of my belongings amongst my brothers and
the household, especially since I have a large number of the family
heirlooms. I also want to specify my wishes for disposal of my body,
which I've talked about at length with my family and the household.
Organ donation first, then anything useful for art or science
(bodyworks, tattoo preservation, art, etc), burn all leftovers and
scatter them as folks (family and friends) feel is appropriate (I have
some specific suggestions). Some money for a memorial party for my
friends, brothers, and sister-in-law. My immediate family will likely
do a no-cost private memorial service with Dad officiating if he and
Mom are still alive. Not a penny more to the funeral industry than
absolutely necessary.
If you notice anything I've overlooked, please let me know. I know
you're way busy right now, but I'm looking at doing this in January or
February with my tax refund money. No rush on getting back to me.
Thanks!
--Sarah
OK, breakfast, pain meds, and hot tub now. Damned brainfog headachey crap. Body aches are much less irritating than the brainaches that make me incapable of organized thought.