sharing our miseries
You know what? I'm a pretty happy person. I have my struggles, sure, and they're real, but at my core, I'm actually just playful and perky. I hop onto curbs, I walk barefoot, I look at trees, I make dumb jokes, I smile a lot. And as I've been getting more exercise and sleep recently, I've been slipping back into this pattern, which I love.
This is why it makes me a little depressed when I feel like our default cultural bonding is through bitching.
Now, I'm not talking about my friends, here -- though let's be honest, this happens to everyone -- I'm talking about coworkers, coffeeshop buddies, any kind of person who you have an acquaintance-relationship with that is starting to go beyond "hey, hi, what's up, fine". It seems to me that the best cultural script we have for getting closer to someone is to maneuver our way into complaining about the same thing.
I walked into the office this morning in a stellar mood, and when coworker Lionel asked how I was doing, I answered honestly: "fantastic!" Immediately, two different people turned their heads to stare at me in shock. I GUARANTEE you that if I'd said "Ach, I think I sprained my ankle this morning," or "sad to be inside on such a lovely day", or "one of my customers is driving me insane" that they would have completely ignored me, or at least kept pretending to work.
I always try to respond to "how are you" with an honest answer, but some days, it's difficult, and not even for the reasons you'd expect!
This is why it makes me a little depressed when I feel like our default cultural bonding is through bitching.
Now, I'm not talking about my friends, here -- though let's be honest, this happens to everyone -- I'm talking about coworkers, coffeeshop buddies, any kind of person who you have an acquaintance-relationship with that is starting to go beyond "hey, hi, what's up, fine". It seems to me that the best cultural script we have for getting closer to someone is to maneuver our way into complaining about the same thing.
I walked into the office this morning in a stellar mood, and when coworker Lionel asked how I was doing, I answered honestly: "fantastic!" Immediately, two different people turned their heads to stare at me in shock. I GUARANTEE you that if I'd said "Ach, I think I sprained my ankle this morning," or "sad to be inside on such a lovely day", or "one of my customers is driving me insane" that they would have completely ignored me, or at least kept pretending to work.
I always try to respond to "how are you" with an honest answer, but some days, it's difficult, and not even for the reasons you'd expect!