Mon Dieu

[moogles4ever]

 I don't even know anymore.

I'm losing interest in everything. Nothing seems worth it anymore. I haven't eaten properly in years. I know I shouldn't be skipping meals, but I don't even fucking care. Life is going to be shitty for the next two years anyways. I can't even go to a party without feeling awkward, because she should be there, seeing

Comments

[moogles4ever]

Well hello there. No idea who the hell you are, but it's nice of you to take time out of your schedule to answer my complaining that I had here. So I really appreciate it. Oh, they were the lyrics to a song by the way. A Friend in London - New Tomorrow. I rather enjoyed it, obviously.

Things are always been sort of weird. Circumstances that I was born with were different, although it's nothing physical. However you don't seem to be all that interested in my life story and to be honest I don't blame you. In short all I can say is that I'm recovering, and I don't know how long that's going to take right now but it'll get done. High school is a bitch, but if I can manage it so far I can manage it until the end. I've done three years, and I need to say I've at least wised up somewhat so I know how to manage stress and how to not cause it in the first place.

Meh, you're not being mean. I don't blame you. I've been looking back on everything that I've done on sppf and I look like a bloody idiot. I stepped onto the internet where I could be someone different and that I could be the "bad ass" or w/e the hell I was thinking. I was 13-14. I just wanted to be the coolest so I tried hard but didn't even really manage to get myself anywhere. I've at least cooled down in the 3 years that I've been online. I learnt to just step back and watch things. Post when you want to, post when you don't. It's an experience thing, right?

It's late at night and I have a plane ride to catch tomorrow morning. I don't even know if I replied to everything but I'm letting you know that I'm working my hardest at getting myself to be better. Hell. I've been like this for years so I figured it's time to talk to some sort of professional help. No pills, because idk apparently I don't have some sort of mental illness. Which is good.

I'm out for a month so it'll be a while until I come back. You stay strong though, because it sounds like you need it too.