5 Years Ago...
5 years ago today I lost my dad. It should have been a great time in my life. I was 24, my career was just starting to take off, I just finished a year of grad school, and I got married 6 weeks earlier. That day changed my world forever. My dad and I had a pretty good relationship. We did our share of butting heads...but that happens when two people are so much a like. I would venture to say that as a family, we were closer than the typical family. I'll always remember being in high school and college when so many of my friends either had parents that were divorced or in the process of getting divorced. Almost none of them still went on family vacations or for that matter, spent much time at all with their parents. I won't say that I felt left out of that club, but I couldn't relate to it. My parents were still married and we always did stuff together. It's just the way we were brought up and for the most part, we usually had fun. My dad was a big kid and he was always fooling around. Like my mom used to say, she had 4 kids...the 3 of us plus my dad. Whether it was fooling around on the boat and jet ski's or scuba diving or just hanging around the house, my dad was usually right there in the middle stirring up trouble and laughing his head off. That's just the kind of guy he was.
When he needed to have surgery in March of 2001, no one thought he would never leave the hospital again. He was there from mid March to the day he died, July 20th. The surgery that first day went well, but was more complicated than expected. It was all down hill from there. He ended up with countless infections and complications and 7 surgeries in total. He wasn't there the day I got married, but he refused to let me postpone it. We went to visit him after the church ceremony and I have to say, that was one of the hardest things I've ever done. To this day, some of my relatives give me crap about continuing on with the wedding. My response to them (besides it's none of your f*%@#in' business) is that it wasn't my decision to make, it was what he wanted. I don't regret it one bit. If I would have postponed it what good would it have done? At least I know that he saw me happy that day.
Unfortunately, that was the first of many important days that he will miss. He wasn't there to see my sister graduate high school or college, or to help my brother start the boat repair business they always wanted to do together, or to see his grandchildren. I think that last one bothers me the most. To look at my brother and his oldest son, they are the spitting image of my dad. But besides that, my dad would have been a fantastic grandpa. The worst of it is that my nephews and my baby will never know him.
Not that any of us need a special day to remember my dad, but for my brother, sister, mom, and I today is just a little bit harder.
When he needed to have surgery in March of 2001, no one thought he would never leave the hospital again. He was there from mid March to the day he died, July 20th. The surgery that first day went well, but was more complicated than expected. It was all down hill from there. He ended up with countless infections and complications and 7 surgeries in total. He wasn't there the day I got married, but he refused to let me postpone it. We went to visit him after the church ceremony and I have to say, that was one of the hardest things I've ever done. To this day, some of my relatives give me crap about continuing on with the wedding. My response to them (besides it's none of your f*%@#in' business) is that it wasn't my decision to make, it was what he wanted. I don't regret it one bit. If I would have postponed it what good would it have done? At least I know that he saw me happy that day.
Unfortunately, that was the first of many important days that he will miss. He wasn't there to see my sister graduate high school or college, or to help my brother start the boat repair business they always wanted to do together, or to see his grandchildren. I think that last one bothers me the most. To look at my brother and his oldest son, they are the spitting image of my dad. But besides that, my dad would have been a fantastic grandpa. The worst of it is that my nephews and my baby will never know him.
Not that any of us need a special day to remember my dad, but for my brother, sister, mom, and I today is just a little bit harder.