(no subject)
I've been feeling so disconnected from everything i used to do, and love. People I know, and haven't talked to in a while.
Father's day is coming up, I just can't get things out of my head about it, i wish it would just come and go.
I have some ideas for paintings, but i'm letting fear get in the way. Fear and laziness. I would be getting up early in the AM, taking the car and driving out to the beach. Do I tell mom what i'm doing, where I'm going? what if what I paint there sucks. I don't want expectations to live up to. I don't want people to want to see my work before I do it, because then I just feel like I'm going to fail.
I've been working a lot, I don't mind it so terribly, but customers are assholes all the time. I wish I could make a living off artsy things, and I know that to make that happen, I need to overcome some of these...barriers i've been setting up around myself.
Back to my knitting.
Father's day is coming up, I just can't get things out of my head about it, i wish it would just come and go.
I have some ideas for paintings, but i'm letting fear get in the way. Fear and laziness. I would be getting up early in the AM, taking the car and driving out to the beach. Do I tell mom what i'm doing, where I'm going? what if what I paint there sucks. I don't want expectations to live up to. I don't want people to want to see my work before I do it, because then I just feel like I'm going to fail.
I've been working a lot, I don't mind it so terribly, but customers are assholes all the time. I wish I could make a living off artsy things, and I know that to make that happen, I need to overcome some of these...barriers i've been setting up around myself.
Back to my knitting.