Bess, You find yourself now in a completely different social context from where you were last year. It was easy to differentiate yourself from your peers back then, as you were striving to improve yourself not only intellectually, but spiritually as well. And even amongst others seeking for that greater spiritual life, you were able to distinguish yourself from them, knowing that you are unique. But now, in the confines of hundreds, possibly thousands of girls (some of them lesbian I presume-- nice), all on the same "quest for the greater good", you feel lost in the crowds. You are not "that kosher girl" anymore. You lost that feeling of uniqueness, you lost your sense of purpose. Knowing all this, you have to look back to yourself when you were around people you could not relate to (Hartford, etc.). It was very clear what you wanted to be, because you knew what you did not want to be. Recall the reason why you came to Israel. Refresh that urge to stand-up against everything you do not believe in. You are a strong willed person, and although being alone in Israel makes you feel that you are not-- you are. You just need to remind yourself who Bess really is.
You find yourself now in a completely different social context from where you were last year. It was easy to differentiate yourself from your peers back then, as you were striving to improve yourself not only intellectually, but spiritually as well. And even amongst others seeking for that greater spiritual life, you were able to distinguish yourself from them, knowing that you are unique.
But now, in the confines of hundreds, possibly thousands of girls (some of them lesbian I presume-- nice), all on the same "quest for the greater good", you feel lost in the crowds. You are not "that kosher girl" anymore. You lost that feeling of uniqueness, you lost your sense of purpose.
Knowing all this, you have to look back to yourself when you were around people you could not relate to (Hartford, etc.). It was very clear what you wanted to be, because you knew what you did not want to be. Recall the reason why you came to Israel. Refresh that urge to stand-up against everything you do not believe in.
You are a strong willed person, and although being alone in Israel makes you feel that you are not-- you are. You just need to remind yourself who Bess really is.
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