Welcome & Story Archive
I read and write slash fanfiction. This is mostly what my LJ is for. All the fanfic is unlocked. There are warnings for some of it, so follow the rules. If you friended me in the past only to read fics - back when ye olde fic was locked - please feel free to de-friend; it won't hurt my feelings. Or stay friends if you wish!
Adam Lambert and his gorgeous guitarist Tommy Joe Ratliff.
I tried to be organized in this archive. Just keep scrolling down. It's all sort of in the order in which I started writing in various fandoms.
ADAM/TOMMY
NEVER MIND - Even though they're both pining for each other, they're foolish boys and they don't realize it, so Adam gets a boyfriend, and then Tommy decides to stop moping and see if he likes guys that way - and gets himself a boyfriend, too. Starts here
BROKEN OPEN - Tommy Joe Ratliff really liked those kisses he got from Adam Lambert on the Glam Nation tour. He finds he's not ready to give them up once the tour ends and they're all back living in Los Angeles. Starts here
SWANGOOSE
JOHNNY AND EVAN PLUS SEVEN - Imagine figure skaters Johnny Weir and Evan Lysacek raising kids together and having a reality show. Starts here
TROY
PRINCES OF TROY
Based on the movie "Troy." The time period is years before the Trojan War, when Paris first meets Hector. Warning: this involves eventual incest. If you don't like that, run like hell. This series is complete.
I. Favorite Son - Hector returns to Troy to find someone he never expected - a new brother. (PG)
II. Blessed and Burdened - Paris is intriguing. Hector is intrigued. Hector is doomed. (PG-13)
III. Storm - Paris gets in trouble. Hector gets him out. (NC-17, but blink and you'll miss it)
IV. Come to Me - Paris is kind to servants and children and kittens. (R)
V. Silence - Hector remains in big-time denial. Paris doesn't get it. (NC-17)
VI. Fortune and Glory - Enemies come to the gate. Paris wants to join the fight. (NC-17)
VII. Disobedience - Pouty Paris v. Hector Hairshirt (PG-13)
VIII. Lions and Lambs - Strip poker circa 1200 BCE (NC-17)
IX. Mount Ida - The princes of Troy visit Mount Ida, where Paris grew up. (PG-13)
X. Moonlight - Love and lust in the hayloft. (NC-17)
XI. The Rescue - The Trojans rescue one of their own. (PG-13)
XII. The Penalty - Paris gets spanked. That’s right: spanked. (NC-17)
XIIa. The Idylls of Mount Ida - Tales told by a roaring fire. (PG)
XIII. Sunlight and Seafoam - Hector misconstrues the good advice of Archeptolemus. (R)
XIV. Iron and Fire - The brothers are at odds. (NC-17)
XIV. This Strong Hand - An ending of sorts. (PG-13)
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN
DEUS LO VULT
Kingdom of Heaven BanaBloom AU. I know what you're thinking, "Wait! Eric Bana wasn't in Kingdom of Heaven!" To which I reply, "No movie is perfect." To remedy that, I made up a wandering Templar named Sir Eirik to become Balian's honey.
Deus Lo Vult is the inscription on the hilt of Balian's sword. This is what Pope Urban II said to start off the first crusade in 1095. In 1099 the crusaders conquered Jerusalem. That date is also on the sword hilt.
So if you like BanaBloom, just picture Eric Bana as Sir Eirik of Lewis, lost somewhere in the Holy Land, little knowing that across the next sand dune is... a really hot-looking blacksmith-turned-baron named Balian. Unfinished WIP, but not without some feeling of closure.
Part I - A wandering Templar finds a handsome blacksmith in the middle of the desert. (PG-13)
Part II - Eirik heals. Balian watches. Eirik has secrets. (PG-13)
Part III - Eirik picks a fight. (R)
Part IV - Chess. Sex. (NC-17)
Part V - King Baldwin sets a task for Balian. (R)
Part VI - A contest of wills. (NC-17)
Part VII - Dawn over Jerusalem. (PG-13)
Part VIII - Balian wants to know where Eirik went. (R)
Part IX - Tent sex. And some really bad singing. (NC-17)
Part X - On the road to Sinai, they find a city half-buried in sand. (R)
Part XI - Cave sex with mild kink. (NC-17)
Part XII - Argument. Makeup sex. Still minus guide and camels. (NC-17)
Part XIII - Eirik hallucinates about Robert. (R)
Part XIV - Rescued from the desert. (NC-17)
Interlude - A one-off in the Temple of Solomon. (PG)
***
RANDOM BANABLOOM CRACK!FIC
THE VIKING SAGA (Abridged)
Book the First - After a hard day of pillaging, Erik comes home and wants dinner and Orlando, not necessarily in that order. (NC-17)
Book the Second - Orlando joins Erik on a raid and winds up in a cave. (R)
Book the Third - Partay! And a guest cameo by Sir Jethro de Bodine. (R)
MIDSUMMER BANABLOOM MADNESS
Inspired by the one and only eviea, these stories will pop up now and then based on some quick little bunnies that Evie tossed my way when I was bemoaning my writer's block.
In Bonny Scotland - Kilt fic! What more do you need to know? ;) (NC-17)
The Gift - Odd little item that I can't really describe. Think of it as the story of Dr. Banastein. (PG-13)
RANDOM ORLIJAH CRACK!FIC
Braced for Disaster I - Elijah is not pleased with his gap-toothed smile. Orlando, on the other hand, loves it. (R)
Braced for Disaster 2 - Orlando tries to turn Elijah gay. (R)
Braced for Disaster 3 - Elijah's getting gayer. (R)
Braced for Disaster 4 - Bedtime stories. (R)
Autodidact - The boys take a thesaurus to the beach. (PG-13)
Snow White and the Pirate - Just another in a growing compendium of cracked fairy tales. (PG-13)
The Score - Written during WIP amnesty as declared by talesinbloom, set during filming of LOTR. (PG-13)
The Doctor and the Pirate - And here comes to the start of the historial AU starring Orlando and Elijah. Orlando's the doctor pirate. Abandoned, sorry.
The Doctor and the Pirate 2 - (PG-13)
City of Night - Orlando goes exploring in the catacombs of Paris and runs into a hungry little vampire. (NC-17)
City of Night 2 - Orlando misses the vampire and goes looking for him. And finds a bit more than expected. (PG)
Cold - A special Christmas Eve in front of a roaring fire... and buck naked. (R)
Elves Never Sleep - Written for orlijah_month - "just sleeping" - and set during the filming of LOTR. (PG)
***
BANALIJAH
The Prince and the Pea - Prince Eric wants to marry - another prince. (PG-13)
***
ZEKE/CASEY - not cracky, just cute
Camera Obscura - Started out as comment fic. Posted as a little ficlet. (PG-13)
Blizzard - A bittersweet Christmas ficlet. (PG-13)
***
URBANA
It's the fault of Slashy aka fanabana. She likes Urbana. She egged me on. Or maybe begged.
The Dairy Farmer and the Lorry Driver - Karl is a dairy farmer in New Zealand. The character is based on the dairy farmer in the movie “The Price of Milk.” He loooooooves his cows. Eric is just… Eric, a lorry driver. (NC-17)
Adam Lambert and his gorgeous guitarist Tommy Joe Ratliff.
I tried to be organized in this archive. Just keep scrolling down. It's all sort of in the order in which I started writing in various fandoms.
ADAM/TOMMY
NEVER MIND - Even though they're both pining for each other, they're foolish boys and they don't realize it, so Adam gets a boyfriend, and then Tommy decides to stop moping and see if he likes guys that way - and gets himself a boyfriend, too. Starts here
BROKEN OPEN - Tommy Joe Ratliff really liked those kisses he got from Adam Lambert on the Glam Nation tour. He finds he's not ready to give them up once the tour ends and they're all back living in Los Angeles. Starts here
SWANGOOSE
JOHNNY AND EVAN PLUS SEVEN - Imagine figure skaters Johnny Weir and Evan Lysacek raising kids together and having a reality show. Starts here
TROY
PRINCES OF TROY
Based on the movie "Troy." The time period is years before the Trojan War, when Paris first meets Hector. Warning: this involves eventual incest. If you don't like that, run like hell. This series is complete.
I. Favorite Son - Hector returns to Troy to find someone he never expected - a new brother. (PG)
II. Blessed and Burdened - Paris is intriguing. Hector is intrigued. Hector is doomed. (PG-13)
III. Storm - Paris gets in trouble. Hector gets him out. (NC-17, but blink and you'll miss it)
IV. Come to Me - Paris is kind to servants and children and kittens. (R)
V. Silence - Hector remains in big-time denial. Paris doesn't get it. (NC-17)
VI. Fortune and Glory - Enemies come to the gate. Paris wants to join the fight. (NC-17)
VII. Disobedience - Pouty Paris v. Hector Hairshirt (PG-13)
VIII. Lions and Lambs - Strip poker circa 1200 BCE (NC-17)
IX. Mount Ida - The princes of Troy visit Mount Ida, where Paris grew up. (PG-13)
X. Moonlight - Love and lust in the hayloft. (NC-17)
XI. The Rescue - The Trojans rescue one of their own. (PG-13)
XII. The Penalty - Paris gets spanked. That’s right: spanked. (NC-17)
XIIa. The Idylls of Mount Ida - Tales told by a roaring fire. (PG)
XIII. Sunlight and Seafoam - Hector misconstrues the good advice of Archeptolemus. (R)
XIV. Iron and Fire - The brothers are at odds. (NC-17)
XIV. This Strong Hand - An ending of sorts. (PG-13)
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN
DEUS LO VULT
Kingdom of Heaven BanaBloom AU. I know what you're thinking, "Wait! Eric Bana wasn't in Kingdom of Heaven!" To which I reply, "No movie is perfect." To remedy that, I made up a wandering Templar named Sir Eirik to become Balian's honey.
Deus Lo Vult is the inscription on the hilt of Balian's sword. This is what Pope Urban II said to start off the first crusade in 1095. In 1099 the crusaders conquered Jerusalem. That date is also on the sword hilt.
So if you like BanaBloom, just picture Eric Bana as Sir Eirik of Lewis, lost somewhere in the Holy Land, little knowing that across the next sand dune is... a really hot-looking blacksmith-turned-baron named Balian. Unfinished WIP, but not without some feeling of closure.
Part I - A wandering Templar finds a handsome blacksmith in the middle of the desert. (PG-13)
Part II - Eirik heals. Balian watches. Eirik has secrets. (PG-13)
Part III - Eirik picks a fight. (R)
Part IV - Chess. Sex. (NC-17)
Part V - King Baldwin sets a task for Balian. (R)
Part VI - A contest of wills. (NC-17)
Part VII - Dawn over Jerusalem. (PG-13)
Part VIII - Balian wants to know where Eirik went. (R)
Part IX - Tent sex. And some really bad singing. (NC-17)
Part X - On the road to Sinai, they find a city half-buried in sand. (R)
Part XI - Cave sex with mild kink. (NC-17)
Part XII - Argument. Makeup sex. Still minus guide and camels. (NC-17)
Part XIII - Eirik hallucinates about Robert. (R)
Part XIV - Rescued from the desert. (NC-17)
Interlude - A one-off in the Temple of Solomon. (PG)
***
RANDOM BANABLOOM CRACK!FIC
THE VIKING SAGA (Abridged)
Book the First - After a hard day of pillaging, Erik comes home and wants dinner and Orlando, not necessarily in that order. (NC-17)
Book the Second - Orlando joins Erik on a raid and winds up in a cave. (R)
Book the Third - Partay! And a guest cameo by Sir Jethro de Bodine. (R)
MIDSUMMER BANABLOOM MADNESS
Inspired by the one and only eviea, these stories will pop up now and then based on some quick little bunnies that Evie tossed my way when I was bemoaning my writer's block.
In Bonny Scotland - Kilt fic! What more do you need to know? ;) (NC-17)
The Gift - Odd little item that I can't really describe. Think of it as the story of Dr. Banastein. (PG-13)
RANDOM ORLIJAH CRACK!FIC
Braced for Disaster I - Elijah is not pleased with his gap-toothed smile. Orlando, on the other hand, loves it. (R)
Braced for Disaster 2 - Orlando tries to turn Elijah gay. (R)
Braced for Disaster 3 - Elijah's getting gayer. (R)
Braced for Disaster 4 - Bedtime stories. (R)
Autodidact - The boys take a thesaurus to the beach. (PG-13)
Snow White and the Pirate - Just another in a growing compendium of cracked fairy tales. (PG-13)
The Score - Written during WIP amnesty as declared by talesinbloom, set during filming of LOTR. (PG-13)
The Doctor and the Pirate - And here comes to the start of the historial AU starring Orlando and Elijah. Orlando's the doctor pirate. Abandoned, sorry.
The Doctor and the Pirate 2 - (PG-13)
City of Night - Orlando goes exploring in the catacombs of Paris and runs into a hungry little vampire. (NC-17)
City of Night 2 - Orlando misses the vampire and goes looking for him. And finds a bit more than expected. (PG)
Cold - A special Christmas Eve in front of a roaring fire... and buck naked. (R)
Elves Never Sleep - Written for orlijah_month - "just sleeping" - and set during the filming of LOTR. (PG)
***
BANALIJAH
The Prince and the Pea - Prince Eric wants to marry - another prince. (PG-13)
***
ZEKE/CASEY - not cracky, just cute
Camera Obscura - Started out as comment fic. Posted as a little ficlet. (PG-13)
Blizzard - A bittersweet Christmas ficlet. (PG-13)
***
URBANA
It's the fault of Slashy aka fanabana. She likes Urbana. She egged me on. Or maybe begged.
The Dairy Farmer and the Lorry Driver - Karl is a dairy farmer in New Zealand. The character is based on the dairy farmer in the movie “The Price of Milk.” He loooooooves his cows. Eric is just… Eric, a lorry driver. (NC-17)