a new class, a new world of potential friends
"So you're a firefighter. Wow. And I don't mean that just because you're a woman, I just mean because I mean that's one hell of a job."
(slightly embarrassed) "Well, I mean, this shirt I'm just a volunteer"
"Well even more so - I mean, you don't even get paid to go save people"
I must admit, I'm not used to being around people who aren't around firemen all the time. I'm not used to being around people with just the public's perception of the emergency services. It's been what, three years since I've been around anyone who was impressed without knowing any of the distinctions involved.
Still, I'm not the only one in the class with a slightly incongruous job. There's a girl there who's an attorney. That seems to me even more surprising - she seems so young. But then, I guess most people don't think of firefighters as kids and I'm constantly around them. I say how the "general public has no idea" but I forget because I'm never around "the general public" anymore. Seems like all my friends either know me, so they've had their misconceptions corrected, or else they're firefighters too, or at least constantly around them. We're just people too, except like actors we live with our interactions a little closer to the surface. And we wear masks frequently at need.
But then, I was surprised in Gwinnett because no one there had ever had opportunity to volunteer, they were all hired either from the military or out of living with mom and dad. I guess it all depends on your background. And out here there's even fewer possibilities to volunteer. Which means the only people who get to be firefighters are those who want nothing else. At home most of them also do construction or medical work, everyone has some other life that pays.
I will say, it does seem like there might be a spark of interest on the part of mr T.A./classmate - at least an interest in being impressed and being friends. He was also really impressed at ability to follow him in the "mirror" acting exercise we did - he's in director's school, I guess he never did many acting exercises before. Not that I was all that flattered (Acting's another thing once you're used to doing it it's funny for anyone to be impressed), but I did enjoy the affirmation. I'd really like to make some good friends out of this class. It'll be good practice for interacting "in the moment" because always before when I found a spark of interest (which usually fanned my own) I over-reacted and killed any chance of a normal interaction. And any interest there might have been until the guy wants nothing more than to get away from me. Paul, Bennett... I guess my best bet is to be fully aware while at the same time not showing it, not reacting more than actual reaction. Just like if I don't know exactly where a camera is, then I might notice it later while it's on me as a part of the situation when a camera is supposed to be invisible - if it's reacted to then it ruins the authenticity of the moment.
Am I making any sense at all?
I'm sure it's just a period of interacting training where I have to be aware, until awareness will be instinctual. Right now I'm mostly amused by any interest - though also sometimes annoyed or concerned if it's too obvious. But my main emotional reaction is amusement because it's so new.
(slightly embarrassed) "Well, I mean, this shirt I'm just a volunteer"
"Well even more so - I mean, you don't even get paid to go save people"
I must admit, I'm not used to being around people who aren't around firemen all the time. I'm not used to being around people with just the public's perception of the emergency services. It's been what, three years since I've been around anyone who was impressed without knowing any of the distinctions involved.
Still, I'm not the only one in the class with a slightly incongruous job. There's a girl there who's an attorney. That seems to me even more surprising - she seems so young. But then, I guess most people don't think of firefighters as kids and I'm constantly around them. I say how the "general public has no idea" but I forget because I'm never around "the general public" anymore. Seems like all my friends either know me, so they've had their misconceptions corrected, or else they're firefighters too, or at least constantly around them. We're just people too, except like actors we live with our interactions a little closer to the surface. And we wear masks frequently at need.
But then, I was surprised in Gwinnett because no one there had ever had opportunity to volunteer, they were all hired either from the military or out of living with mom and dad. I guess it all depends on your background. And out here there's even fewer possibilities to volunteer. Which means the only people who get to be firefighters are those who want nothing else. At home most of them also do construction or medical work, everyone has some other life that pays.
I will say, it does seem like there might be a spark of interest on the part of mr T.A./classmate - at least an interest in being impressed and being friends. He was also really impressed at ability to follow him in the "mirror" acting exercise we did - he's in director's school, I guess he never did many acting exercises before. Not that I was all that flattered (Acting's another thing once you're used to doing it it's funny for anyone to be impressed), but I did enjoy the affirmation. I'd really like to make some good friends out of this class. It'll be good practice for interacting "in the moment" because always before when I found a spark of interest (which usually fanned my own) I over-reacted and killed any chance of a normal interaction. And any interest there might have been until the guy wants nothing more than to get away from me. Paul, Bennett... I guess my best bet is to be fully aware while at the same time not showing it, not reacting more than actual reaction. Just like if I don't know exactly where a camera is, then I might notice it later while it's on me as a part of the situation when a camera is supposed to be invisible - if it's reacted to then it ruins the authenticity of the moment.
Am I making any sense at all?
I'm sure it's just a period of interacting training where I have to be aware, until awareness will be instinctual. Right now I'm mostly amused by any interest - though also sometimes annoyed or concerned if it's too obvious. But my main emotional reaction is amusement because it's so new.