(Very) Slightly Above Average!!!
The reinstitution of the "Angela Needs Fifteen Thousand Dollars to Buy Her Dad's Car in Three Years" Fund (A.N.F.T.D.B.H.D.C.T.Y.F.) has suffered a serious attack by one or possibly multiple local renegades. Sometime between 1:30 and 8:30 on the morning of October 3, 2005, the top half of a stale, wheat hamburger bun was inserted into the Fund box hanging from Angela's door. Authorities were at first baffled as to how the perpetrator got the hamburger bun into the box, since there is only a narrow slit at the top. Closer inspection revealed, however, that the tape keeping the lid on the box was forcibly removed so as to create an opening in the box large enough for the insertion of a hamburger bun. The lid was then put back on the box, and new tape placed over the remnants of the old. But the perpetrator was too sloppy for his handiwork to avoid detection, and authorities are now referring to him as "Sloppy Joe," as his true identity remains undiscovered. The bun was subsequently removed from the box by forensic experts, and the donations inside were determined to have been undisturbed, but Angela has not yet decided if the fund box will reassume its place on her door. "This entire ordeal has taught me that the A.N.F.T.D.B.H.D.C.T.Y. Fund is much more vulnerable than I'd originally thought, even if the box itself is masterfully secured with tape and kept behind the exterior door of Case Dorm, to which only a select few know the entry code," Angela commented. "If the box is put back on the door, I'm seriously going to consider instituting increased anti-hamburger bun insertion security measures."
In other news, recently observed trends seem to indicate that Monday mornings are no longer as horribly awful as they once were. It's far too early to tell whether this trend is permanent or merely a temporary upswing in the great sinusoidal graph of Monday morning awfulness, but that isn't stopping people from enjoying the decrease in the level of beginning-of-the-week horror while it lasts. The strongest indication of this trend to date occurred this very Monday morning, when Harvey Mudd College sophomore Angela Berti received the results of her first Electromagnetism and Optics midterm. Electromagnetism and Optics, or E & M, is the third and final required physics class for all students at Harvey Mudd. It is often regarded as one of the most difficult core classes, and diabolically insane E & M professor Vatche Sahakian reminded his students multiple times per week that the first midterm in the course would be "horrific." Last semester Angela barely passed Mechanics and Wave Motion after receiving scores significantly below average on both midterms. On this semester's first E & M midterm, however, her score was several points above the class-wide average. When asked to comment about the experience of getting the first midterm back, Angela had this to say: "ABOVE AVERAGE! That's right, bitches! In your face, E & M! F**K YEAH!!!" Of course, the positive circumstances that reduced Angela's level of Monday morning horror cannot completely counteract the irony that prevented her from getting 12, instead of 2, points above average on the midterm. Tragically, Angela did problem 2 completely correctly, but decided that the answer she came up with was simply too mathematically hideous to possibly be correct, so she redid the problem incorrectly to obtain a more elegant (and incorrect) response. This cruel twist of fate cost her ten points on the midterm, but Angela is still under the influence of the euphoria of not having to worry about passing another physics course, and doesn't seem too affected by the loss of these ten points. Stay tuned next week when Angela takes her first discrete midterm and realizes that while Mondays may not be quite so bad anymore, that's only because the other six days of the week have become exponentially more challenging. After all, there's nothing like failing a three hour closed-book, closed-notes math midterm to keep things in perspective.
In other news, recently observed trends seem to indicate that Monday mornings are no longer as horribly awful as they once were. It's far too early to tell whether this trend is permanent or merely a temporary upswing in the great sinusoidal graph of Monday morning awfulness, but that isn't stopping people from enjoying the decrease in the level of beginning-of-the-week horror while it lasts. The strongest indication of this trend to date occurred this very Monday morning, when Harvey Mudd College sophomore Angela Berti received the results of her first Electromagnetism and Optics midterm. Electromagnetism and Optics, or E & M, is the third and final required physics class for all students at Harvey Mudd. It is often regarded as one of the most difficult core classes, and diabolically insane E & M professor Vatche Sahakian reminded his students multiple times per week that the first midterm in the course would be "horrific." Last semester Angela barely passed Mechanics and Wave Motion after receiving scores significantly below average on both midterms. On this semester's first E & M midterm, however, her score was several points above the class-wide average. When asked to comment about the experience of getting the first midterm back, Angela had this to say: "ABOVE AVERAGE! That's right, bitches! In your face, E & M! F**K YEAH!!!" Of course, the positive circumstances that reduced Angela's level of Monday morning horror cannot completely counteract the irony that prevented her from getting 12, instead of 2, points above average on the midterm. Tragically, Angela did problem 2 completely correctly, but decided that the answer she came up with was simply too mathematically hideous to possibly be correct, so she redid the problem incorrectly to obtain a more elegant (and incorrect) response. This cruel twist of fate cost her ten points on the midterm, but Angela is still under the influence of the euphoria of not having to worry about passing another physics course, and doesn't seem too affected by the loss of these ten points. Stay tuned next week when Angela takes her first discrete midterm and realizes that while Mondays may not be quite so bad anymore, that's only because the other six days of the week have become exponentially more challenging. After all, there's nothing like failing a three hour closed-book, closed-notes math midterm to keep things in perspective.