(no subject)
I need to get out of this headspace I've been in. It isn't healthy, and it certainly isn't helping all the other complications in my life right now.
I've felt on the verge of tears since last night, and I have no real reason why.
I think it's mostly me trying not to become overwhelmed. But in addition to that I'm in this headspace where I've got girlbrain going on--feeling fat and unattractive, not good enough, like I'm screwing everything up... maybe my move isn't the best idea, yadda yadda yadda.
Last night my brain was going in circles and circles... I don't even know half the stuff I thought about, but I do know that whenever I caught myself thinking something like one of those things up there, I would give myself a mental slap and tell myself to snap out of it, and quit feeling sorry for myself. It didn't necessarily work. I don't know where this came from... two weeks ago I was fantastic. I felt good, and I was in a great spot in my life. I was entering a new chapter in my life, and feeling great about it. Then everything exploded into complications, and I got really stressed. Things are slowly working themselves out, though, and I was starting to be less stressed and every day was a little better. Last night, though, suddenly and completely randomly I was hit with this overwhelming feeling of... I don't even know what. I just felt like crying, and just really... melancholy. That's not even all of it, but I cannot articulate everything that I'm feeling right now.
Mostly it is probably me stressing about my move (still not knowing exactly where I'm going, but at least I have options now and won't end up living in my car), work, and becoming overwhelmed with all the unknowns.
*sigh* I'm gonna walk downtown. Maybe I can get myself out of this headspace.
I've felt on the verge of tears since last night, and I have no real reason why.
I think it's mostly me trying not to become overwhelmed. But in addition to that I'm in this headspace where I've got girlbrain going on--feeling fat and unattractive, not good enough, like I'm screwing everything up... maybe my move isn't the best idea, yadda yadda yadda.
Last night my brain was going in circles and circles... I don't even know half the stuff I thought about, but I do know that whenever I caught myself thinking something like one of those things up there, I would give myself a mental slap and tell myself to snap out of it, and quit feeling sorry for myself. It didn't necessarily work. I don't know where this came from... two weeks ago I was fantastic. I felt good, and I was in a great spot in my life. I was entering a new chapter in my life, and feeling great about it. Then everything exploded into complications, and I got really stressed. Things are slowly working themselves out, though, and I was starting to be less stressed and every day was a little better. Last night, though, suddenly and completely randomly I was hit with this overwhelming feeling of... I don't even know what. I just felt like crying, and just really... melancholy. That's not even all of it, but I cannot articulate everything that I'm feeling right now.
Mostly it is probably me stressing about my move (still not knowing exactly where I'm going, but at least I have options now and won't end up living in my car), work, and becoming overwhelmed with all the unknowns.
*sigh* I'm gonna walk downtown. Maybe I can get myself out of this headspace.