Difficulties.
I'm having a difficult time with things as of late. I'm reasonably certain that it's mostly just the stress of my upcoming move that's making me... off. I don't really know how to describe it. I feel like I'm on some kind of roller coaster... one day I'm feeling fantastic about myself and the move and life in general, and then the next I'm feeling fat and ugly and like I can't do anything right. There's a quote from a movie that sometimes seems appropriate... "There's not a lot that I am good at. But I'm good at getting guys to want me. Not date me, or marry me, but want me." I feel like that, sometimes.
There's a guy I'm... seeing, right now. We're not dating... not really, though we kind of act like it. He's doing a soul searching thing, and can't handle any real commitments right now, and with my move and trying to enter a new stage in my life, I'm not, either. He's great, though, and we have a lot of fun together. We both know where we stand, and that's fantastic. He tells me all the time that I'm hot... and most of the time nowadays I have to bite my tongue to keep from asking him why he thinks that. I've gained weight again... obviously though he is attracted to me for some reason, but really... most of the time I just don't see it.
Of course, I know this is just me being retarded and beating up on myself. I'm trying really hard to lose weight and be happier with my physical image. I'm totally secure and happy in who I am as a person, I should be able to do that with the physical side of things, too.
Whenever I set my mind to something, I generally make it happen. That's how I sent myself to Germany. I just need to keep that confidence in mind.
There's a guy I'm... seeing, right now. We're not dating... not really, though we kind of act like it. He's doing a soul searching thing, and can't handle any real commitments right now, and with my move and trying to enter a new stage in my life, I'm not, either. He's great, though, and we have a lot of fun together. We both know where we stand, and that's fantastic. He tells me all the time that I'm hot... and most of the time nowadays I have to bite my tongue to keep from asking him why he thinks that. I've gained weight again... obviously though he is attracted to me for some reason, but really... most of the time I just don't see it.
Of course, I know this is just me being retarded and beating up on myself. I'm trying really hard to lose weight and be happier with my physical image. I'm totally secure and happy in who I am as a person, I should be able to do that with the physical side of things, too.
Whenever I set my mind to something, I generally make it happen. That's how I sent myself to Germany. I just need to keep that confidence in mind.