***MIND***
I was thinking about how most safely to fall down some stairs yesterday, and no matter how I did it, I was wildly at risk of winding up in a hospital.
Humans are stupid! Our most important shit is in some big, bobbly grape-melon thing sticking way off the top of our body, and the thing that connects that with everything else runs along the OUTSIDE of the ONLY side of our body that we CAN'T SEE. Aliens must always be like, "If you ever get in a fight with a human, just chop off the part with the eyes and the gorgeous fur shaped into this or that ceremonial implication. Then that thing is fucked, and can't even call for more humans to come help it out. Also, humans are ridiculous because they generally only move in and think about one direction. So if you just get where it's not perceiving, it probably won't even notice you, and even if it does, it has to turn its whole body around just to do anything about it. And it gets better! If you stab it in the right places on its 'dark side,' you stand a substantial chance of making its whole body not work!"
ALIENS THAT CAN FUCK YOU UP
Spheres
Ganmen
Venus de Milo
Venus de Milo+Ganmen
Things with spines way in the middle of them
Things with auxilliary carotid arteries and venas cavas
Things with auxilliary or multiple brains
Things with eyes (or whatever primary sense organs) on more than one side of them
Things with a lot of shit that regrows (I was thinking eyes at first, but brains is good too)
Humans are stupid! Our most important shit is in some big, bobbly grape-melon thing sticking way off the top of our body, and the thing that connects that with everything else runs along the OUTSIDE of the ONLY side of our body that we CAN'T SEE. Aliens must always be like, "If you ever get in a fight with a human, just chop off the part with the eyes and the gorgeous fur shaped into this or that ceremonial implication. Then that thing is fucked, and can't even call for more humans to come help it out. Also, humans are ridiculous because they generally only move in and think about one direction. So if you just get where it's not perceiving, it probably won't even notice you, and even if it does, it has to turn its whole body around just to do anything about it. And it gets better! If you stab it in the right places on its 'dark side,' you stand a substantial chance of making its whole body not work!"
ALIENS THAT CAN FUCK YOU UP
Spheres
Ganmen
Venus de Milo
Venus de Milo+Ganmen
Things with spines way in the middle of them
Things with auxilliary carotid arteries and venas cavas
Things with auxilliary or multiple brains
Things with eyes (or whatever primary sense organs) on more than one side of them
Things with a lot of shit that regrows (I was thinking eyes at first, but brains is good too)