{bts} jeongguk/taehyung ; i'll be a man (of you, you, you, babe) ; nc-17 [2/3]
<< PART ONE >>
The student representatives for the music department announce an unofficial mid-semester camp. This year’s destination is Jeju island, picturesque and serene.
“New rules this year, you’re allowed to bring along a plus one,” Kim Seokjin, one of the student representatives, says. The entire class bursts into excited murmurs. This is an easy choice-the camp is for five days at a villa in Jeju. The dorms are mixed. Everyone will be bringing their girlfriends and boyfriends.
“You got anyone in mind?” Jimin teases, elbowing Jeongguk as they pause for a water break. Jeongguk grunts noncommittally, not letting on that he’s been thinking about this ever since the announcement. “What about that, uh, friend of yours you were talking about?”
Jeongguk closes his eyes. Ever after he’d spilled his feelings out to Jimin that night at the restaurant, Jimin has been nothing but supportive. Too supportive, in fact. “Look, I don’t think he’d… I don’t think he’d be interested.”
“Why not?” Jimin leans forward, blinking. “You said you were good friends. Friends go on trips all the time.”
“It’s…” Jeongguk grapples around for an excuse. “Like I said before, I don’t wanna make it weird, you know?” Not that things could get weirder than having Taehyung’s name tattooed onto his ass, but that’s a secret Jeongguk is going to carry to his damn grave.
“It’s not a couples only thing, is it?” Jeongguk shakes his head, and Jimin grins. “So just ask him as a friend. Or, if you really want, I can set you up with this exchange student in my class. She’s from San Fran. She’ll definitely be keen.”
Jeongguk pulls a face. “I’d rather not.” Bringing along a girl he barely knew and having to make small talk? No thanks.
“Or,” Jimin says jokingly, waggling his eyebrows, “you could take me along.”
Hoseok comes up to them at that moment, signalling that it’s the end of their rest break. He pulls both of them up and rolls his eyes. “Hey, Jimin, your thirst is showing. Let Jeonggukkie pick on his own, hmm?”
Taehyung’s sprawled on Jeongguk’s bed, playing games on his DS when Jeongguk gets back to his room after his shower.
“Shove,” Jeongguk says, pushing Taehyung aside so he can flop down next to him. Taehyung makes impromptu visits to Jeongguk’s room at the randomest of times, and Jeongguk really should change his passcode, but Taehyung’d just make one of his pouty faces and bug Jeongguk for the new code until he relented. He’s done it once before, and knowing Taehyung, he’ll do it again.
“So I hear the music department has a camp,” Taehyung says casually, mashing the buttons of his DS. Jeongguk cracks one eye open. “To Jeju.”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk says carefully, rolling onto his stomach. “What about it?”
“You’re allowed to bring a plus one?” Taehyung’s character gets KO’d, and he snaps his DS shut. “Has your mum found out about it? Is she going to set you up with someone again?”
“She doesn’t know about it,” Jeongguk says, shrugging. He’d been careful not to leak anything, and his mother wouldn’t be able to find anything out from the department anyway, since it’s technically an unofficial thing. “We can bring friends too, you know,” Jeongguk mutters. “It’s not just a couples thing.”
Okay. So, Jimin is a piece of shit for planting the idea in his head and Jeongguk has definitely been thinking about this more than he should be. On one hand, yeah, Taehyung would be fun, and he’s the only person who would be willing to come on this thing anyway, but on the other hand, Jeongguk doesn’t want to do something stupid on the trip and make things even more awkward.
Plus, Taehyung would probably set the holiday villa on fire purely by the fact he’s Kim Taehyung, and nothing is sacred in his hands.
But what if… What if they really could be something more?
“Hey, hyung,” Jeongguk starts, hesitant. “I was just wondering, have you been to Jeju island before?”
Taehyung rests his head on his hand, supporting himself with an elbow. “When I was like, five. It’s not too bad. Hey, did you know they have a sex theme park there now? They even have dicks as the toilet door knobs. We should go sometime.”
“Forget I asked,” Jeongguk says with a groan, shoving Taehyung so he topples over. Taehyung giggles, licking his lips salaciously, and Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “You’re incorrigible.”
“And you’re a brat,” Taehyung retorts, dusting off his shoulder. “How dare you lay hands on this wise and respectable hyung?”
“Respectable my ass,” Jeongguk mutters, then remembers that his own ass is in fact, not respectable at all. No thanks to Taehyung. Taehyung waggles his eyebrows, opening his mouth to make some smartass remark, and Jeongguk presses a finger to his lips before he can say anything. “Don’t. You dare.”
“I didn’t say anything,” Taehyung sing-songs, bringing Jeongguk into a hug and pecking his cheek. Jeongguk makes a show of rubbing at it the wet mark with a disgusted face, like it hadn’t set the butterflies in his stomach fluttering around like a storm. “Anyway, you were saying?”
Oh. The camp. Right. Jeongguk gulp, nervous again. It’s not like he’s asking Taehyung to go with him as a boyfriend or anything, just a good friend. It’s not a big deal. They hang out all the time. This is no different. “Well, it’s just, if you’re free during mid-semester and feel like visiting Jeju again, do you wanna…?”
“Come with you?” Taehyung finishes off, grinning. Jeongguk gives a small nod, and Taehyung flashes his teeth. “I was hoping you’d ask.”
The second-years and their plus ones are split into groups of twelve, with each group sharing a villa. To Jeongguk’s chagrin, they end up in the one villa that has a student representative sharing with them.
The upside is, student representative Kim Seokjin has all the alcohol.
“Holy shit,” Taehyung marvels, counting the boxes of soju and beer in the living room. There’s a lot. Like, a Lot lot. “This could knock a pack of elephants out.”
“Off limits!” Seokjin chides, eyeing them all with arms crossed over his chest. “I better not see any of you sneaking any drinks without my permission.”
“Yessir!” The way Taehyung grins, saluting Seokjin obediently and bowing to Seokjin’s back… Jeongguk knows there’s going to be shit later.
The day activities the camp leaders have planned are tame enough. There are a couple of icebreaker games, a couple of rounds of trivia, a treasure hunt, and they break out the alcohol and drinking games at five. Taehyung fits in like he’s been a music student since day one, to the point where there are people asking if Jeongguk was Taehyung’s plus one and not the other way round.
“You’re too good at this social interaction thing,” Jeongguk grumbles as they head back to their villa. Taehyung simply grins, sliding an arm around Jeongguk’s shoulders, and Jeongguk scoffs. “You better not make cooler friends and ditch me.”
“I would never,” Taehyung says, pecking Jeongguk on the cheek, and Jeongguk stumbles over a rock.
An hour later, when Jeongguk’s settled on the couch, doona pulled over himself and ready to finish off some anime, Yugyeom, one of the students sharing the villa with them, taps Jeongguk on the shoulder.
“Is your friend okay?” Jeongguk pulls one of his earbuds out and Yugyeom points in the direction of the kitchen. “Your friend? Is he looking for something?”
Jeongguk lifts his head to see Taehyung, who’s rushing around in the kitchenette opening up every single cupboard and drawer, ooh-ing and ahh-ing at the contents. Regular Taehyung behaviour. “He’s fine. Just ignore him.” Yugyeom gives him a wary look, but leaves Jeongguk alone.
Not even five minutes later, Yugyeom rushes back into the living room. “Jeongguk. Hey, uh, your friend…”
Jeongguk turns his head and then yelps. Taehyung has a pot on his head like a hat, a fork in one hand and the stove lighter in the other. He is also very pantsless.
“Jesus christ!” Jeongguk hisses, leaping out of his couch and bounding to the kitchen. “Hyung, what the hell-”
It’s at this moment that Seokjin decides to come back to the villa.
“Oh.” Seokjin stares at Taehyung in the kitchen, then looks at Jeongguk with apprehension. “Should I even ask?”
“I’m fine, I swear,” Taehyung says. Jeongguk glares at him. Seokjin blinks. “Look, I can explain, just give me a moment to find my pants-”
Jeongguk sighs. “Uh, I’ll take him outside for a walk, sorry, excuse us.”
“O…kay,” Seokjin says hesitantly. He scratches the back of his head. “Well, I’ll be in my room if you need me for anything.”
“I was extremely medicated as a child,” Taehyung says, deadpan, and Seokjin just nods very, very slowly, backing away. Yugyeom also shoots them a strange look and retreats, leaving Jeongguk and Taehyung alone in the kitchenette. “Bye!”
“What the hell was that all about?” Jeongguk’s dragged Taehyung out and they’re walking around on the beach surrounding the villa. Taehyung, thankfully, has trousers on, despite them being disgusting leopard print hammer pants that Jeongguk has no fucking idea where Taehyung got. “Christ, I told you not to do weird shit here, I have an image to uphold.”
“Whatever,” Taehyung says, reaching a hand down into his pants, and Jeongguk panics for a moment before Taehyung pulls his hand out, grinning and holding a bottle of soju. “Look what I have.”
Jeongguk laughs in disbelief. “You piece of shit. Seokjin-hyung is going to kill you if he finds out.”
“Well then, I guess we’ll just have to never let him find out, huh?” Taehyung says, waving the bottle and grinning. He runs down off the grass and onto the beach, whooping loudly. “Catch me if you can!”
Jeongguk lets out a battlecry, then charges after Taehyung at full speed, grabbing Taehyung by the shirt and dragging him down, tumbling in the sand and landing on top of Taehyung, limbs tangled and chests pressed together. Taehyung’s breathing hard, and so is Jeongguk. In the dim moonlight, Jeongguk can see the way Taehyung’s full lips are slightly parted, a tongue peeking out, and he has an overwhelming desire to kiss them. Taehyung looks at him, unmoving, eyes hooded, and Jeongguk bites his lower lip. Then Taehyung is laughing, moving a hand between them, palm pressed flat on Jeongguk’s chest.
“I’m…” Taehyung grins, pushing Jeongguk off him, and the moment is broken. “You shithead, I think you kneed me in the crotch.”
“Sorry,” Jeongguk mumbles, rolling off Taehyung and lying down on the sand, arms outstretched. “Serves you right, though. Compensation for all the pain you’ve wrought upon my life.”
“Asshole,” Taehyung says, passing Jeongguk the soju, and Jeongguk chugs, ignoring the way his heart is still pounding in overdrive. Jeongguk hands it back to Taehyung with trembling hands, and Taehyung sits down next to Jeongguk, taking a swig and pulling a face. “Eugh. Probably should’ve snuck out some mixers too.”
The moon is high in the sky, perfectly round and glowing brightly, masked ever so slightly by misty clouds. Jeongguk gazes up at the dark sky, eyes tracing a path between the stars, too aware of Taehyung’s presence next to him. It’s a rare moment of silence where Taehyung isn’t talking, and Jeongguk turns his head ever so slightly to look at Taehyung, sitting with his knees drawn to his body and arms clasped around them. His eyes follow a line down Taehyung’s profile, from his eyelashes to the slope of his nose to his lips, to the way his Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he takes a drink. Taehyung turns to catch Jeongguk’s gaze, and Jeongguk whips his head in the opposite direction.
“Keep staring, I don’t mind,” Taehyung jokes, and Jeongguk whacks Taehyung’s leg. Taehyung grins, passing Jeongguk the bottle, and he lies down on the sand next to Jeongguk, arms behind his head. “Hey, Jeongguk, can I ask you a question?”
“You just did,” Jeongguk mumbles, but he finishes off the bottle and shuffles, rolling onto his side, facing Taehyung. “Go on. What is it?”
Taehyung bites his lower lip, shifting slightly so he’s resting on his left arm, bringing his free hand up to Jeongguk’s face and brushing his bangs away. “Why did you ask me to come with you?”
“I…” Jeongguk wets his lips, eyelids heavy. “I dunno. You’re my best friend, I guess. I like being with you.”
Taehyung’s lips twitch into a smile. “Even when I do shit that gets us both into trouble?”
“If you haven’t noticed, I’ve kept you around until now,” Jeongguk says dryly. Taehyung laughs softly, running his hand through Jeongguk’s hair, hand warm on the nape of Jeongguk’s neck. Jeongguk shifts to rest his head on Taehyung’s chest, just listening to Taehyung’s heartbeat, steady and strong. His fingers are tingling, and he can’t keep his eyes open. “Because even though you drive me fucking insane, you’re the only person I like enough to let inflict this type of pain on me.”
“I’m flattered,” Taehyung says, deep voice resonating in Jeongguk’s ear. It’s so low, beautiful and husky, and Taehyung starts speaking again, but Jeongguk’s not listening to Taehyung’s words anymore, instead being lulled by that warm, familiar voice into a deep sleep.
When Jeongguk opens his eyes again, he’s in his bed back at the villa, Taehyung tucking the blankets around him.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” Taehyung says, lopsided smile on his face. “You started drooling on my shirt at the beach. Do you know how heavy you are?”
“Not my fault I work out,” Jeongguk mumbles, latching onto Taehyung’s wrist. Taehyung sits down on Jeongguk’s bed, pinching Jeongguk’s cheeks playfully, and Jeongguk harrumphs. “Piss off, I’m not a puppy.”
Taehyung laughs, deep and throaty. He leans down, pressing a kiss to Jeongguk’s forehead. “You’re welcome, Jeonggukkie. Good night.”
Jeongguk gets his midsem exam results back the day he returns from Jeju, and all his plans for November go to shit.
“They sent me an academic warning,” Jeongguk says, horrified. Taehyung rolls on Jeongguk’s bed, mildly amused, but mostly distracted by the packets of Pepero he’s upending onto the bed. “If I don’t score at least a eighty on my finals, they can kick me out of the course. Oh my god, I need to study, get out of my room.”
For the next two weeks, Jeongguk doesn’t even step outside the library except to go to dance rehearsals and stuff his face with energy drinks and instant noodles at the convenience store down the road. He forgets all about his Taehyung Problems, panicking instead about his Academic Problems. Taehyung texts him on a Friday night asking Jeongguk where he is and if he wants to go out for two-for-one cocktails and Jeongguk sends a voice clip of him wailing at his music theory textbook (quietly, because he’s in the library, and there are people staring).
ok, Taehyung replies. from the sounds of it u seem 2 b murdering kittens i will not ask.
if i die from exams, Jeongguk texts back, you can have my entire anime figurine collection. That’s the ultimate sign of love, right there.
Jeongguk, thankfully, does not perish from exams, but he only barely makes it out alive.
Maybe he should’ve tried to sleep more than he did (twenty minute powernaps taken in between chapters of revision is not sustainable for more than a week, he is now very aware), because on the last day of exams, right after he’s just completed a horrifyingly cruel composition paper, Jeongguk collapses outside the exam hall, whole body burning up in fever.
“This looks bad,” the nurse says, taking Jeongguk’s temperature. Thirty-nine degrees, pushing forty. “Where do you live? Do you have anyone who could take you home?”
“Just on campus,” Jeongguk says, trying to get off the bed and feeling his arms give way underneath him. Damn it, and he was meant to go to dance rehearsals today too. “I can walk home myself, I’m fine-”
“I’m not letting you leave unless you have someone with you,” the nurse says, and Jeongguk sighs in resignation.
The dance group hyungs are probably hard at practise right now, and Jeongguk doesn’t want to disturb them or take away from their rehearsal time, with the showcase so close. Taehyung, if he remembers correctly, is in the middle of his applied sciences practical exam at the moment, and he’s got something in the afternoon as well. He’s probably too busy, but Jeongguk really… Jeongguk really wants him here. Wants Taehyung to be the one taking care of him.
fainted outside exam hall, Jeongguk texts, after a moment more of consideration. pls come retrieve one feverish jeon jeongguk after your prac if at all possible :( It’s a selfish thought, but Jeongguk wants Taehyung to drop everything and come to him.
“You’re an idiot,” Taehyung says cheerfully when he arrives half an hour later, lab uniform in tow. Jeongguk opens his eyes, groggy from the nap, and Taehyung sits down by the bed, placing a cold cloth from the bowl near the sink on Jeongguk’s forehead. The cloth is oversaturated with water because Taehyung hasn’t wrung it out properly, and Jeongguk can feel the water trickling into his ear canal, but he’s more happy that Taehyung’s here.
“And you’re a piece of shit,” Jeongguk retorts weakly. “Hey, hyung. Don’t you have exams on?”
“I’ll be fine, I can just start the exam a little late,” Taehyung says lightly, helping Jeongguk up and out the first aid office, smiling brightly to the nurse. “Come on. I borrowed the cleaner’s mini-caddy to drive you back to the dorms.”
“Borrowed?” Sure enough, there’s a bright yellow cleaning caddy parked right outside the first aid office. Jeongguk stares at it, then stares at Taehyung, narrowing his eyes. Taehyung holds Jeongguk’s gaze for a beat, then throws his hands up.
“Okay, so I stole the keys when the cleaner was on lunch break. Come on, let’s go before I get arrested for grand theft auto.”
“You’re terrible,” Jeongguk mumbles, but he’s so grateful for Taehyung right now. Taehyung, the only person in his life who would drop everything to take care of Jeongguk because he was an idiot and got himself sick. Taehyung, who’d rush back even in between exams, to help Jeongguk out. “Thanks, hyung.”
“I got your back,” Taehyung says gently, helping Jeongguk into the back seat, then clambers in the front, turning the keys. “Hold on tight!”
Jeongguk is almost delirious when they make it back to the dorms, partly from fever and partly from Taehyung’s terrifying driving skills. Taehyung bundles Jeongguk up in blankets and fills up a thermos with tea before setting off for his afternoon exam.
When Jeongguk wakes up the second time, it’s to the smell of ginseng and chicken.
“Hey,” Taehyung says, waving a spoon. “You’re up! I made you some juk.”
“Ugh,” Jeongguk grunts, inching himself up in bed. His head is pounding, although he does feel better than before, marginally. Taehyung grins, wheeling up to Jeongguk in a wheely chair, a bowl of porridge in one hand and holding out a spoonful of it to Jeongguk in the other. Jeongguk eyes the spoon with distrust. “Is this even edible?”
“Bitch,” Taehyung says, shoving the spoon into Jeongguk’s mouth.
The porridge is… surprisingly good. Jeongguk gulps it down, wincing at how raw his throat feels, then goes back for more. Taehyung makes a sound of protest, taking the spoon from Jeongguk’s hand and insisting on feeding Jeongguk himself.
“I’m not five,” Jeongguk protests, but lets Taehyung do it anyway. It saves him having to move his arms, and having Taehyung’s whole attention on him, well. “I didn’t know you could actually cook.”
Taehyung grins toothily. “My little sister always used to get sick. I got good at making juk. It’s the only thing I can make.”
“Yeah, I’ll bet,” Jeongguk mutters. Taehyung makes an annoyed sound and pulls the spoon away, before Jeongguk pouts and Taehyung laughs, feeding him another spoonful.
“The nurse told me not to let you out of bed until your temperature’s down to thirty seven,” Taehyung says, setting the empty bowl aside and helping Jeongguk lie down again, placing a cool towel on Jeongguk’s head. “That’s going to be quite a while. I could fry an egg on your head.”
“Please don’t try,” Jeongguk groans, letting out a little whimper, because that’s exactly the kind of thing Taehyung would do. “But I have to get better by Saturday. It’s the dance showcase. I can’t miss it.”
“Can you even perform with a fever?” Taehyung asks, shaking his head. “Have you told your dance crew yet?”
“Well,” Jeongguk says. Oh god. Hoseok’s going to kill him. He’d explicitly told everyone in the crew to take care of their health in the weeks leading up to the showcase, and here Jeongguk is, bedridden. “It’ll be fine. I’ve still got a couple of days to recover and I’ve learnt all the choreo. You’ll be there, right?”
Taehyung grins. “Depends. Are there hot guys?”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes, then winces. “Aside from me? Sorry to say, I’m the hottest one there.” And he will be, literally, if he doesn’t make a quick recovery.
“Wow,” Taehyung says, wrinkling his nose. “They’re certainly lowering the standards these days. But yes, I’ll be there, as long as you’re on stage.”
“You better not fuck up,” Jimin says eyeing Jeongguk. It’s ten minutes before the showcase, and the backstage changeroom is buzzing with tension. “You missed like, the entire week of rehearsals. Do you remember all the formation changes?”
“Yes, hyung,” Jeongguk says in exasperation, adjusting his red and black striped sweater and pulling the waist of his leather pants up. “I remember everything. I think.”
Jimin gives Jeongguk a judgemental look and clips his suspenders onto his firetruck red, ass-hugging pants.
It had been a difficult battle with his raging headache and delirium, but with Taehyung’s TLC and lots of fucking Tylenol, Jeongguk’s back up on his two feet, albeit still a little woozy and way too medicated. Hoseok hadn’t been all too keen on Jeongguk performing while still feverish, but taking him out would fuck up too many formations, so he’d relented.
Taehyung’s sitting front row, proud grin on his face as he holds up a huge placard that says NAME IS JEONGGUK, SCALE IS NATIONWIDE. Taehyung had made it himself, so all the letters are out of proportion and there’s way too much glitter on it, but its a sweet gesture all the same. A year ago, Jeongguk would’ve been too embarrassed to even make eye contact if Taehyung had pulled something like this, but it’s a year on now, and Jeongguk is so accustomed to Taehyung’s weirdness that it would feel like a hole in his life if Taehyung was to ever stop.
“Cute,” Hoseok remarks, peeking at the audience from behind the curtain, eyebrow raised at Taehyung. “Nice to see you actually managed to sell a ticket this time.”
Jeongguk makes a face. “Just because you’re Mr. Popular.” Last year, he’d brought a grand total of zero people because he’d been too embarrassed to tell anyone in his classes about it, and Taehyung was busy with some cryonics experiment thing that Jeongguk didn’t really understand. At least this year, Taehyung’s here, and that’s all he needs.
All in all, the showcase goes well. Jeongguk glares a little at Jimin when Jimin slaps his butt during the Hormone War routine, completely unplanned, but then Taehyung bursts out laughing at the scowl on Jeongguk’s face, and Jeongguk grins too.
By the last song, Jeongguk’s completely worn out, breath running short from being out of play for a week, but it’s all worth it when the audience rises from their seats, clapping and cheering. Taehyung’s beaming too, waving his little placard around, and Jeongguk feels his heart swell up in pride.
Taehyung’s waiting for him in the wings when Jeongguk comes out, changed out of his stage clothes and into a comfortable hoodie. “Heya, superstar,” he says, pulling Jeongguk into a headlock. “Wow! That was awesome. You were awesome.”
Jeongguk buries his head into Taehyung’s side, wrapping his arms around Taehyung’s waist. “Thanks, hyung. I’m glad you came.”
“You’re so sappy today,” Taehyung says, laughing and messing up Jeongguk’s styled hair. “I think the fever’s still fucking with your brain.”
“Jeonggukkie!” Jeongguk pulls away from Taehyung to find Jimin standing behind him, wide grin on his face. Jimin reaches out to ruffle Jeongguk’s hair, and Jeongguk jerks away instinctively, avoiding Jimin’s hand. Jimin tsks and drops his hand by his side. “Brat. Anyway, just wanted to let you know, great job today. You danced well.”
“Right?” Taehyung pipes up, grinning brightly. “Jeonggukkie is the best. I’m Kim Taehyung, by the way,” he adds, extending a hand towards Jimin. “Fourth year criminology major.”
“Park Jimin, fourth year nutritional sciences major,” Jimin says, taking Taehyung’s hand with an amused smile. “I’m assuming you’re Jeongguk’s friend?”
“Wow,” Taehyung says, turning to Jeongguk and pouting. “Wow, you don’t even talk about me to your other friends? I’m so hurt.”
“It’s because you’re an embarrassment,” Jeongguk mutters, and it’s only a half-truth.
Jimin laughs and thumps Jeongguk on the back. “Act nicer to your hyungs, brat,” he says fondly, then gives them a wave as a group of friends call for him. “I gotta go. It was nice meeting you, Taehyung! I’ll see you around!”
Jimin runs off to chat with his friends who’d been waiting for him, and Taehyung’s gaze follows.
“God,” Taehyung says, after Jimin’s well out of earshot, “you never told me you had such hot friends.”
“Yeah, well,” Jeongguk mutters, feeling uneasy. “You never asked.”
“Park Jimin, was it? He has a nice ass,” Taehyung says solemnly. He looks Jimin up and down, then loops an arm over Jeongguk’s shoulders again, leaning close, so that his lips brush against the shell of Jeongguk’s ear. “Hey, is he dating anyone?”
The question catches Jeongguk off-guard, and he shakes Taehyung’s arm off, looking at Taehyung with a frown. “Um, not that I know of. Why?”
“No reason,” Taehyung says, shrugging. “It’s just… You know, it’s been a while since I’ve dated anyone, and we’ve got some free time now, with holidays and all… You don’t mind, do you?”
Taehyung trails off, looking at Jeongguk with hesitant yet expectant eyes, as if waiting for Jeongguk to give him the all clear, and Jeongguk’s pulse is roaring past his ears.
Oh.
Jeongguk feels his fever coming back.
Taehyung’s interested in Jimin. Taehyung, Jeongguk’s best friend, the cause of Jeongguk’s frustration for the past few months, wants Jeongguk to hook him up with Jimin. Taehyung, who had, out of all the things in the world, chosen for his own name to be tattooed onto Jeongguk’s body; who’d agreed so eagerly to go on the camp to Jeju; who’d carried Jeongguk back to bed when he’d fallen asleep at the beach; who’d nursed Jeongguk back to health and cooked him chicken soup without a word of complaint, wants Jeongguk, his best friend, to hook him up with Jimin.
And right now, Jeongguk feels so stupid for thinking that all these little things, all these signs, could mean something. That they could be anything more. That maybe, maybe, Taehyung was as confused about Jeongguk as Jeongguk is about Taehyung.
“Um,” Jeongguk starts, heart heavy. Taehyung’s still looking up at him, gnawing on his lower lip, fingers playing with the placard, like he’s so eager for Jeongguk’s okay. And what could Jeongguk say to that? “I guess I don’t mind…”
“Oh.” Taehyung furrows his brows, standing up straight and inspecting Jeongguk closely. His reaction is more muted than Jeongguk had expected, but then again, this is the first time that Taehyung’s ever expressed interest in one of Jeongguk’s friends. “Oh. Really?”
“Yeah, why not?” Jeongguk mumbles, rubbing his temples. He wishes he could curb that habit of pretending things were all cool when they weren’t and tell Taehyung that no, not really, but that would be too selfish of him, especially when a friend’s asking him a favour. “He’s cool, I guess. You’d get along well.”
“Right,” Taehyung says slowly. He looks at Jeongguk for a moment longer, lips pursed, still frowning. “Okay.”
Jeongguk looks over to Jimin, who’s still chatting away with his friends. Taehyung’s right. Jimin does have a great ass. “Do you want me to hook you up with him or something?”
“Uh,” Taehyung blinks. “I guess? If you really don’t mind.”
“Yeah.” Jeongguk feels sick. “Yeah, I don’t mind. That’s what friends are for, right?”
Taehyung and Jimin’s date is on a Friday night, at the bar just down the street from the student dorms, where all the students go to party after semester ends.
Jeongguk could be out at a club, getting drunk and making out with someone, anyone, but he’s sitting in his dorm, all dressed up, staring blankly at his phone.
“Hey, you sure you’re alright with this?” Taehyung had asked, after he and Jimin had set a time, and Jeongguk had just smiled, waving him off. “Well, I’ll call you if I need you to drag me out,” he’d finished, and Jeongguk had simply agreed listlessly, feeling sick to the core. And now he’s sitting here, hoping that the more he stares, the faster his phone will ring, Taehyung’s name displayed in the caller field.
Is he really okay with this? Okay with Taehyung, who’d never in the two years that Jeongguk’s known him pursued a serious relationship, get involved with a friend of his? Actually, taking a step back, is Jeongguk okay with Taehyung getting seriously involved with anyone?
Maybe it’s time he was honest with himself.
Jeongguk likes Taehyung. He likes Taehyung a lot.
He likes it when Taehyung comes around after class, lazing on his bed. He likes holding Taehyung’s hand, likes the way Taehyung is so touchy with him, petting his hair and grabbing his arm and jokingly slapping his butt. He even likes it when Taehyung has a stupid ass idea and it gets them both in trouble, because it’s Kim fucking Taehyung and nothing makes Jeongguk feel more alive and exhilarated than Kim Taehyung’s antics, and nobody makes him laugh more in this world than Kim Taehyung.
And Jeongguk… Jeongguk hasn’t dated anyone before, not properly. Sure, he’s had his fair share of hookups, but he’s never stuck around long enough for the commitment. It was just sex, nothing more, and until now, he’s never wanted it to be anything more. He’d thought that maybe it was because he was still too young, driven by teenage hormones and lust, too flighty to find any of the girls he’d been set up with more interesting outside a physical relationship.
But maybe it’s because he’s already had someone in his heart since a long, long time ago.
“Shit,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair and feeling his stomach sinking horribly. The answer’s been staring him in the face the entire time. “Shit. Shit.”
He’s in love with Kim Taehyung.
<< PART THREE >>