Surviving the Hellatus: The J2 Canon - Friday the 13th
Nonsense. Utter nonsense. No plot. No characterization.
But since I've been updating my journal with back entries all within the same three-hour time-span, I'm going to use a cut to continue my rant about this movie (which includes total Jared hotness, so it's not all bad) before I get unfriended by the three friends I actually have on LJ.
As I was saying, this movie is nonsense. Utter nonsense. It has no plot. No characterization. No real reason for existing except maybe this:
(LMAO, I spent hours searching for a pic that would do Jared justice, but he looks awful in all of them! Just trust me, he is Hottie McHot Hotness in this movie.)
Once again, you might as well watch on mute and fast-forward through anything that’s not about him. He looks so good in this that it’s completely worth watching. I’m not kidding.
I know in my review of the abysmal Christmas Cottage I said it was the best Jared ever, but I might be changing my mind. If you want Young Adorable Jared, it still is. If you want Older Scruffier Jared, this is the one. I was actually saying aloud to my television, "My Chuck, he’s beautiful." My neighbors, who can pretty much here everything I do and say in my living room, probably think I’m crazy. Or straight. Or a member of some cult led by a guy named Chuck.
Let’s have another picture because he’s just so great with his hair and his little bit of stubble and his Deep Concern for Finding His Sister and his motorcycle riding and the fact that he only wears a t-shirt, as opposed to Sam Winchester’s customary fugly flannel layers.
Scoring:
Jared’s Hair (10 being Season 3, 1 being the L’Oreal commercial): 789+ Made. Of. Awesome.
Jensen’s Voice (10 being Damian the LARPer, 1 being the pilot): 5++ Our Boy sells his worry for his lost sister, even though we don’t really know or care about her. He even sounds good in the French dubbing.
Jared’s Body (10 being lanky season 1, 1 being ‘roided up mid-season 5): 5+++ Just the right amount of buff, nicely stowed under an awesome t-shirt, all sitting atop a motorcycle.
Brotherly Love (10 being the early years, 1 being “Sex and Violence”): 10 Our Boy is looking for his missing sister. He’s left home and cut off ties with his family. Mom died. Sound familiar? Lol. I love his loyalty and devotion.
Use of women’s bodies (10 being tit for tat, 1 being naked Ruby and Meg torture while Sam and Dean torture is merely shoeless): --5 Topless waterskiing leads to someone getting her head split with an axe. Also, there’s a scene that’s pretty much porn. And, yeah, it’s mildly arousing. Shut it.