baby's first car wreck!
pretty neat, i think. it should cost roughly $850. go guardrail. save me from dying and then fuck up my life.
so while the car is in the shop, my mom and i get to drive around grandpa's lincoln cruiseliner. we went to pick it up yesterday, and my grandparents forced us to stay and talk to them.
halfway through the conversation, my mom got heartburn. she asked me to go get her some tums out of my grandpa's bathroom. as i picked up the bottle, i could tell something was awry. although the bottle was nearly full, they seemed rather old, and the label was brown and oldschool. i turned the bottle over, and i see that they expired in DECEMBER 1992. my grandma started laughing and was somewhat embarassed, while my grandpa insisted that they were "just fine" and "nothing was wrong with them."
and thus began my search for old and disgusting medicine in my grandpa's medicine cabinet.
grandpa isn't going to florida this year.
the following expired health products appear in order of grossness.
remember phar-mor? 1995 does.
just one of the many 10 year old bowel-related products in my grandparents' house.
gramps loves these twelve year old chalky delights.
'92 was a good year for mylanta. check out the unique packaging.
cream of the crop. this kaopectate expired in november of 1991.
this medicine, normally a tannish pink, has separated into its basic elements,
and on top is a thick layer of black syrup.
grandpa actually claimed that this, too, was "perfectly fine."
i threw it away.
what rules is that my grandpa gave me $50 for not only cleaning out the cupboard, but also just "being a good girl." too bad i'm now exploiting his senility over the internet. but i love him.
i am somewhat employed now. my job is watching a five year old girl run around and scream as her puppy chases and bites her, watching the fraggle rock dvd with her, playing games that somehow always involve someone being dead, uncomfortably watching her bathe, and eating her mom's organic healthfood when she goes to sleep. i get $25 for one night of every week, and i'm alright with that.
this was a good entry. i'm satisfied.