Fic: The Duct Tape Letters
Title: The Duct Tape Letters
Author/Artist: megkips
Characters and Pairing: Gilbert
Rating: PG 13
Warnings: Devouring of souls mentioned
Blame: Myself?
Summary: Gilbert gives advice to his brother, a Junior Tempter. In other news, this author reads too much
My Dear Awesome Brother-
First, congratulations on finally leaving the College of Tempters and getting some work. I hope you find the job as awesome as I did when I started out in your position. Of course, since my awesomeness flows through your veins too, it won't be too long until you are doing something even better, like good proper deals or even - dare I say - working beside me as a psycho pomp.
Anyway, I did have a look at your patient's profile, and frankly, I can't stop laughing. I mean, seriously, of all the people you could get assigned to in the world, it had to be this guy. I am starting to think Our Father Below is developing a sense of humour and finally getting over this whole Fall business.
Not the point. Since you're working with a man of the cloth, I feel that I need to emphasize, nay, imprint upon your very being that such a position out of the gate is not to be taken lightly. These souls, so thought to be incorruptible, are truly the most delicious, for they spend a life time marinating in thick irony and a relish of hypocrisy.
Honestly, this should be a cinch, even for a beginner like yourself. However, because I don't want you to do nothing but rely on my awesome self for this job, you have to tell me what you observe and how you think this guy would best fall into our hands.
Yours
-Gilbert
My Sweetest Brother-
Clearly you've learned nothing at college, and I deeply regret that I could not train you in the ways of debauchery and temptation myself. Your last letter, concerning your patient's temptation, threw me into such a rage that they had to confiscate my pitchfork!
Your notes concerning the patient's brother not withstanding (I shall address this at a later point in time, for I have information on that matter that you lack), I cannot believe that you would be so foolish as to assume that simply by running the very associate that we below are so wary of, the soul is beyond your skill level! You are giving up before you even start - something most unawesome of you.
Now that I have corrected your idiotic assumption, let us discuss the matter at hand. Your patient, from what you wrote in your last report, is in a constant state of self-loathing and is inclined to take it out on others. This is due in part to the legacy of the grandfather before him (I refuse to write his name) and due to his constant shame that he is not his younger brother. In short - he believes himself to be a disappointment and can only release these feelings by being harsh to others. If I am correct, your counterpart will constantly be attempt to reassure him that this is not so and that he is his own person. Do not, I repeat DO NOT, let this happen! Personal despair is a great tool for us, and can lead to a great many sins in the attempt to relieve such feelings. You have seen your patience snap constantly - a sign of Wrath. As he is as man of the cloth, lust is no outlet, unless you wish to cause scandal. (At this point in time, I would not recommend it. You lack the proper experience to know how to handle the results.)
For now, let him continue in his angry outbursts. Remind him after every time he snaps, those on the receiving end deserve it - they are interrupting him, or perhaps doubting his level of abilities or even muttering under their breaths that his grandfather would not behave in such a manner. The more acceptable his anger is, the better.
I know that this unawesome process is tedious, but stick with it!
Your Loving Brother
-Gilbert
My Little Awesome Brother-
In regards to your statement concerning pride in the previous letter, I believe that it is an acceptable back up plan in case the other side manages to raise the patient's self esteem. Such pride in what he is doing would be a more than adequate means of replacing his self loathing due to familial expectations.
However, if you give the other side an inch, they will take a yard. I know that in order to level the playing field, Above has also sent a Jr. Tempter (why it is they use our names is so, so unawesome) and so we can only hope that your counterpart isn't getting any help from friends.
Anyway, to elaborate on my last statement about the patient's younger brother here's what I do know. He's alive and a werewolf. No one Below can control fate, so pay this fact no heed. Allow him to think what he thinks happened and continue to allow him to feel responsible.
Your Awesome Brother,
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
I wonder if it is you that has been overtaken by lust rather than your patient. The reason I have not replied to your last five letters is that they are full of nothing but pointless speculation over the potential for this sin, which I have repeatedly told you to avoid.
I say this for several reasons. One - Lust is a hard sin to attempt these days. The patient’s world being what it is, the permissiveness has worn off on the enemy above. Two - related to the comment about permissiveness, the truth of the matter is that that the kind of lust that you are trying to incite does little to deliver a patient into our arms! Such an abomination, while frowned upon in the past, is another way for the enemy to show His concept of “love” in its manifest forms. There is no forbidden element here (save the obvious vows) and I doubt your patient would turn from the enemy even after engaging in sexual activity.
In short: by going down this route, you do little to bring him closer to Our Father Below! I need not say how unawesome this would be, but how damaging it would be for our respective reputations.
Try to get your brain back into gear, yeah? I will pay you a visit, if you do not improve and son.
Your Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Younger Brother-
The interlude between your letters has been most alarming, but I am glad to hear from you finally! I’m glad that you were able to run into Lizzy (she’s awesome isn’t she?!) who was able to give you some hands on experience!
WAY more importantly, and I have to admit excitingly, you have absolutely mastered the patient’s tendency to fly into infinite and pointless rage, thus alienating him from his co-workers and so-called friends. I only wish I was there to watch you work.
Your Increasingly Affectionate Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
Brother-
I believe the word I want right now is ‘fuckwit.’ And I believe I want to use it in relation to you. As in you are a fuckwit.
While your patient has not fallen into the enemy’s hands, he may as well have. You were doing so well with your lust, but you truly had to ignore your patient for five seconds while he was talking to that cat-!
You knew very well that the cat was the object of semi-lust for your patient, and yet you did not think to place a kernel of doubt in his mind before he said anything?!
To think of how you were taught to do your job in the College of Tempters by that idiotic Roderich I cannot even begin to-
(The rest of this letter has been dictacted by Gilbert to Elizabeta, as your brother has made another stupid transformation. Apologies - you know how he gets. -E)
With regards to your curriculum I shall hold my tongue, but mark my words brother, a second mistake will be tolerated by no one in the lowerarchy. To think that I have such an idiot to call a brother disgusts me!
Do read the material enclosed about the classes for remedial tempters. I believe they will be most enlightening.
-Gilbert
Post Script: Your brother is a hilarious slug. You really should see him flailing right now. -E
My Awesome Brother-
I thought quite a bit about your last letter, and I can assure you that you're actually not the only one with such observations. I know that we in the lowerarchy do tend to ignore certain field reports, but the demon Crawly has in fact pointed out that these days, it is harder to tempt humans into fabulously damning sins. To this end, he has suggested time and again (to be ignored by all) that humans are in fact more capable of harming each other when they are inconvenienced in any way shape or form.
This of course falls in line with your observations, but do not make his errors. Crawly has focused primarily on deeds of mischief and generally doing things to irritate people rather than cause direct sins. This is not your line of work - although if you can see to it that your patient is constantly thwarted by little annoyances, I highly suggest you do so. This will play into his natural predisposition towards wrath. The more constantly annoyed he is by little things, the easier he will fly off the handle and insult those closest to him. Causing these constant explosions will deliver him into our hands over time.
As for other things, I'm glad that you seem to have gotten the lust out of your head. The notes on that witch he has seen not withstanding (and I don't actually think you need to push matters), you've little to worry about on that front.
Your Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
I think that you write me in haste too often, as half of your letters are nothing but the panicking and flailing of one of the damned. I would have hoped this past year had strengthened your confidence rather than made it plummet. I know that this job can seem Sisyphus-like. However, I implore you, trust me on the matter that the rewards are worth it in the Below. Not only for you, myself and our respective reputations, but for all who serve Our Father Below. It has been some time since we had someone with the association your patient serves down here. If you win this soul for us, well. I think I can let your imagination fill in the rest.
With the upcoming lower holidays, I suggest that you request time off from your job (this is possible, but the enemy must also agree to it, otherwise we are at a serious disadvantage). The break would be awesome.
Your Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Dear Brother-
I find it a wonder that I have not heard from you since you departed from here, and I hope that all is well. Not even Hell's mail service is this slow.
Your Concerned Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
To the extent that you asked about exorcism, I feel like I need to be honest here: it is always possible with us. However, you are in the unique position that even hunters cannot detect you. Tempters, both ours and the enemies, are safe from all human interference for the simple reason that they are necessary. The enemy above finds it quite amusing to watch his creations flail and try to make the right choice when faced with two options. For one of us to not be there, there would be no balance and thus the sadistic two faced asshole would have to resort to computer games for cheap laughs, and we all know we can't have that.
Having said that, do not let this go to your head. You can always manifest yourself which would result in an exorcism immediately, especially given where your patient is employed. I need not remind you that exorcisms are one of the most painful things for a demon of any caliber (do recall how sick your awesome brother was after that vampire-eyebrow monster hybrid), so take care to avoid a dumb mistake.
Remain hidden, doubly so if your counterpart manifests himself at any point. Should that happen well, then write to me immediately.
Your Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
In response to your last letter, I feel the need to remind you of something of importance: half of this job is a perpetual stalemate. I thought we cleared this up during the holidays, but clearly I need to repeat myself: this job is the worst job in the lowerarchy because it requires constant diligence during the most mundane of lives. Opportunities to sin are often little and thankless. You will not have spectacular results that dazzle us in the Lowerarchy for some time. Even the most skilled of tempters these days are struggling, save for a few such as the lucky bastard who got assigned to Madoff.
Please, stop complaining and remember - if you are frustrated, the enemy is too. And for that fact, you should be proud and take pleasure in it.
Your Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
Calm yourself.
I know what you saw was terrifying, and if I was able to come up to the surface and check on you, I would.
But by the same token, I am glad that you saw what you saw. The warning videos that they show do not prepare you for the sight that is a true exorcism. Let this serve as an e of why you must be ever diligent while on Earth.
If you are still feeling the side effects of the exorcism, then rest. We will send someone up to relieve you of your duties for the rest of the day.
Your Awesome, Deeply Worried Brother
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
You seem to have recovered well enough from the sudden shock of exorcism, and I am more happy that it has lit quite the fire under your ass. Your most recent reports have been extraordinarily pleasing to hear, and I congratulate you firmly on sins well done.
To the extent that you have been playing with your patient's wrath, the effect of sloth should perhaps be played up (you have done so, thus far, without trying, which is awesome!)
Now in this case I do not mean spiritual sloth (nigh impossible with him) I mean the actual act of being lazy, being unable to get his work done and yelling at people when they interrupt him. You might be shocked by the amount of people we can get through sheer procrastination. I could perhaps send you some of the most recent vintage, so you can have a proper taste.
Your Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
I know that we have discussed the wisdom of manifestation before, but your most recent letter did bring up an interesting point.
I cannot say if your patient knows that you yourself exist, but I am certain that he believes in us just as much as he does the enemy. The unfortunate side effect of the organization that he works for is that there it imparts a certain affirmation of the lowerarchy as well as the enemy. Small wonder they don't constantly turn on the enemy because He never gives the much help, but that is the nature of things in general.
The logic, I assume, is this: there are ghosts, werewolves, demons, etc. etc. in the world. For the world to be balanced and to make a semblance of sense, there must be angels, saints and so forth. The fact that holy items (holy only in the minds of men! What it is that repels us is the strength of belief, we think) repel such supposed evil affirms the belief in the enemy, and so to the mind of the organization - and perhaps many others - this equation balances out and they can believe in both.
There are, of course, some exclusions to this rule. Have a patient bitter enough and he will accept all the bad things that the lowerarchy and it's allies have to offer, but because there has never been any direct interference from the enemy he will say that the enemy does not exist. There have been several cases of this in America recently, and I can tell you the fruit of that vine has proven to be quite sweet.
In any case, should your patient's mind wander to the idea of you and the enemy, try and distract him. Put into his mind the cartoons he watched as a child with the devil and angel on each shoulder. Remind him how laughable each of these creatures looked and how absurd that would be in reality.
Your Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
Things seem calm enough for you, but I cannot help but worry that you are becoming too complacent in your duty.
At any rate, you have passed the first two years with small victories, despite your pitfalls and lapses of judgment. Many, many unawesome moments of judgment.
Should you find yourself in a quandary, please write to this office and they will forward the letter to my address on Earth. It's been some time since I took on a proper human form, and frankly, I'm looking forward to it.
Do not try and find my human address - directing hunters to my location will result poorly for you.
I remain
Your Awesome Brother,
-Gilbert
Notes
--Drawn from The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis
Author/Artist: megkips
Characters and Pairing: Gilbert
Rating: PG 13
Warnings: Devouring of souls mentioned
Blame: Myself?
Summary: Gilbert gives advice to his brother, a Junior Tempter. In other news, this author reads too much
My Dear Awesome Brother-
First, congratulations on finally leaving the College of Tempters and getting some work. I hope you find the job as awesome as I did when I started out in your position. Of course, since my awesomeness flows through your veins too, it won't be too long until you are doing something even better, like good proper deals or even - dare I say - working beside me as a psycho pomp.
Anyway, I did have a look at your patient's profile, and frankly, I can't stop laughing. I mean, seriously, of all the people you could get assigned to in the world, it had to be this guy. I am starting to think Our Father Below is developing a sense of humour and finally getting over this whole Fall business.
Not the point. Since you're working with a man of the cloth, I feel that I need to emphasize, nay, imprint upon your very being that such a position out of the gate is not to be taken lightly. These souls, so thought to be incorruptible, are truly the most delicious, for they spend a life time marinating in thick irony and a relish of hypocrisy.
Honestly, this should be a cinch, even for a beginner like yourself. However, because I don't want you to do nothing but rely on my awesome self for this job, you have to tell me what you observe and how you think this guy would best fall into our hands.
Yours
-Gilbert
My Sweetest Brother-
Clearly you've learned nothing at college, and I deeply regret that I could not train you in the ways of debauchery and temptation myself. Your last letter, concerning your patient's temptation, threw me into such a rage that they had to confiscate my pitchfork!
Your notes concerning the patient's brother not withstanding (I shall address this at a later point in time, for I have information on that matter that you lack), I cannot believe that you would be so foolish as to assume that simply by running the very associate that we below are so wary of, the soul is beyond your skill level! You are giving up before you even start - something most unawesome of you.
Now that I have corrected your idiotic assumption, let us discuss the matter at hand. Your patient, from what you wrote in your last report, is in a constant state of self-loathing and is inclined to take it out on others. This is due in part to the legacy of the grandfather before him (I refuse to write his name) and due to his constant shame that he is not his younger brother. In short - he believes himself to be a disappointment and can only release these feelings by being harsh to others. If I am correct, your counterpart will constantly be attempt to reassure him that this is not so and that he is his own person. Do not, I repeat DO NOT, let this happen! Personal despair is a great tool for us, and can lead to a great many sins in the attempt to relieve such feelings. You have seen your patience snap constantly - a sign of Wrath. As he is as man of the cloth, lust is no outlet, unless you wish to cause scandal. (At this point in time, I would not recommend it. You lack the proper experience to know how to handle the results.)
For now, let him continue in his angry outbursts. Remind him after every time he snaps, those on the receiving end deserve it - they are interrupting him, or perhaps doubting his level of abilities or even muttering under their breaths that his grandfather would not behave in such a manner. The more acceptable his anger is, the better.
I know that this unawesome process is tedious, but stick with it!
Your Loving Brother
-Gilbert
My Little Awesome Brother-
In regards to your statement concerning pride in the previous letter, I believe that it is an acceptable back up plan in case the other side manages to raise the patient's self esteem. Such pride in what he is doing would be a more than adequate means of replacing his self loathing due to familial expectations.
However, if you give the other side an inch, they will take a yard. I know that in order to level the playing field, Above has also sent a Jr. Tempter (why it is they use our names is so, so unawesome) and so we can only hope that your counterpart isn't getting any help from friends.
Anyway, to elaborate on my last statement about the patient's younger brother here's what I do know. He's alive and a werewolf. No one Below can control fate, so pay this fact no heed. Allow him to think what he thinks happened and continue to allow him to feel responsible.
Your Awesome Brother,
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
I wonder if it is you that has been overtaken by lust rather than your patient. The reason I have not replied to your last five letters is that they are full of nothing but pointless speculation over the potential for this sin, which I have repeatedly told you to avoid.
I say this for several reasons. One - Lust is a hard sin to attempt these days. The patient’s world being what it is, the permissiveness has worn off on the enemy above. Two - related to the comment about permissiveness, the truth of the matter is that that the kind of lust that you are trying to incite does little to deliver a patient into our arms! Such an abomination, while frowned upon in the past, is another way for the enemy to show His concept of “love” in its manifest forms. There is no forbidden element here (save the obvious vows) and I doubt your patient would turn from the enemy even after engaging in sexual activity.
In short: by going down this route, you do little to bring him closer to Our Father Below! I need not say how unawesome this would be, but how damaging it would be for our respective reputations.
Try to get your brain back into gear, yeah? I will pay you a visit, if you do not improve and son.
Your Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Younger Brother-
The interlude between your letters has been most alarming, but I am glad to hear from you finally! I’m glad that you were able to run into Lizzy (she’s awesome isn’t she?!) who was able to give you some hands on experience!
WAY more importantly, and I have to admit excitingly, you have absolutely mastered the patient’s tendency to fly into infinite and pointless rage, thus alienating him from his co-workers and so-called friends. I only wish I was there to watch you work.
Your Increasingly Affectionate Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
Brother-
I believe the word I want right now is ‘fuckwit.’ And I believe I want to use it in relation to you. As in you are a fuckwit.
While your patient has not fallen into the enemy’s hands, he may as well have. You were doing so well with your lust, but you truly had to ignore your patient for five seconds while he was talking to that cat-!
You knew very well that the cat was the object of semi-lust for your patient, and yet you did not think to place a kernel of doubt in his mind before he said anything?!
To think of how you were taught to do your job in the College of Tempters by that idiotic Roderich I cannot even begin to-
(The rest of this letter has been dictacted by Gilbert to Elizabeta, as your brother has made another stupid transformation. Apologies - you know how he gets. -E)
With regards to your curriculum I shall hold my tongue, but mark my words brother, a second mistake will be tolerated by no one in the lowerarchy. To think that I have such an idiot to call a brother disgusts me!
Do read the material enclosed about the classes for remedial tempters. I believe they will be most enlightening.
-Gilbert
Post Script: Your brother is a hilarious slug. You really should see him flailing right now. -E
My Awesome Brother-
I thought quite a bit about your last letter, and I can assure you that you're actually not the only one with such observations. I know that we in the lowerarchy do tend to ignore certain field reports, but the demon Crawly has in fact pointed out that these days, it is harder to tempt humans into fabulously damning sins. To this end, he has suggested time and again (to be ignored by all) that humans are in fact more capable of harming each other when they are inconvenienced in any way shape or form.
This of course falls in line with your observations, but do not make his errors. Crawly has focused primarily on deeds of mischief and generally doing things to irritate people rather than cause direct sins. This is not your line of work - although if you can see to it that your patient is constantly thwarted by little annoyances, I highly suggest you do so. This will play into his natural predisposition towards wrath. The more constantly annoyed he is by little things, the easier he will fly off the handle and insult those closest to him. Causing these constant explosions will deliver him into our hands over time.
As for other things, I'm glad that you seem to have gotten the lust out of your head. The notes on that witch he has seen not withstanding (and I don't actually think you need to push matters), you've little to worry about on that front.
Your Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
I think that you write me in haste too often, as half of your letters are nothing but the panicking and flailing of one of the damned. I would have hoped this past year had strengthened your confidence rather than made it plummet. I know that this job can seem Sisyphus-like. However, I implore you, trust me on the matter that the rewards are worth it in the Below. Not only for you, myself and our respective reputations, but for all who serve Our Father Below. It has been some time since we had someone with the association your patient serves down here. If you win this soul for us, well. I think I can let your imagination fill in the rest.
With the upcoming lower holidays, I suggest that you request time off from your job (this is possible, but the enemy must also agree to it, otherwise we are at a serious disadvantage). The break would be awesome.
Your Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Dear Brother-
I find it a wonder that I have not heard from you since you departed from here, and I hope that all is well. Not even Hell's mail service is this slow.
Your Concerned Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
To the extent that you asked about exorcism, I feel like I need to be honest here: it is always possible with us. However, you are in the unique position that even hunters cannot detect you. Tempters, both ours and the enemies, are safe from all human interference for the simple reason that they are necessary. The enemy above finds it quite amusing to watch his creations flail and try to make the right choice when faced with two options. For one of us to not be there, there would be no balance and thus the sadistic two faced asshole would have to resort to computer games for cheap laughs, and we all know we can't have that.
Having said that, do not let this go to your head. You can always manifest yourself which would result in an exorcism immediately, especially given where your patient is employed. I need not remind you that exorcisms are one of the most painful things for a demon of any caliber (do recall how sick your awesome brother was after that vampire-eyebrow monster hybrid), so take care to avoid a dumb mistake.
Remain hidden, doubly so if your counterpart manifests himself at any point. Should that happen well, then write to me immediately.
Your Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
In response to your last letter, I feel the need to remind you of something of importance: half of this job is a perpetual stalemate. I thought we cleared this up during the holidays, but clearly I need to repeat myself: this job is the worst job in the lowerarchy because it requires constant diligence during the most mundane of lives. Opportunities to sin are often little and thankless. You will not have spectacular results that dazzle us in the Lowerarchy for some time. Even the most skilled of tempters these days are struggling, save for a few such as the lucky bastard who got assigned to Madoff.
Please, stop complaining and remember - if you are frustrated, the enemy is too. And for that fact, you should be proud and take pleasure in it.
Your Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
Calm yourself.
I know what you saw was terrifying, and if I was able to come up to the surface and check on you, I would.
But by the same token, I am glad that you saw what you saw. The warning videos that they show do not prepare you for the sight that is a true exorcism. Let this serve as an e of why you must be ever diligent while on Earth.
If you are still feeling the side effects of the exorcism, then rest. We will send someone up to relieve you of your duties for the rest of the day.
Your Awesome, Deeply Worried Brother
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
You seem to have recovered well enough from the sudden shock of exorcism, and I am more happy that it has lit quite the fire under your ass. Your most recent reports have been extraordinarily pleasing to hear, and I congratulate you firmly on sins well done.
To the extent that you have been playing with your patient's wrath, the effect of sloth should perhaps be played up (you have done so, thus far, without trying, which is awesome!)
Now in this case I do not mean spiritual sloth (nigh impossible with him) I mean the actual act of being lazy, being unable to get his work done and yelling at people when they interrupt him. You might be shocked by the amount of people we can get through sheer procrastination. I could perhaps send you some of the most recent vintage, so you can have a proper taste.
Your Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
I know that we have discussed the wisdom of manifestation before, but your most recent letter did bring up an interesting point.
I cannot say if your patient knows that you yourself exist, but I am certain that he believes in us just as much as he does the enemy. The unfortunate side effect of the organization that he works for is that there it imparts a certain affirmation of the lowerarchy as well as the enemy. Small wonder they don't constantly turn on the enemy because He never gives the much help, but that is the nature of things in general.
The logic, I assume, is this: there are ghosts, werewolves, demons, etc. etc. in the world. For the world to be balanced and to make a semblance of sense, there must be angels, saints and so forth. The fact that holy items (holy only in the minds of men! What it is that repels us is the strength of belief, we think) repel such supposed evil affirms the belief in the enemy, and so to the mind of the organization - and perhaps many others - this equation balances out and they can believe in both.
There are, of course, some exclusions to this rule. Have a patient bitter enough and he will accept all the bad things that the lowerarchy and it's allies have to offer, but because there has never been any direct interference from the enemy he will say that the enemy does not exist. There have been several cases of this in America recently, and I can tell you the fruit of that vine has proven to be quite sweet.
In any case, should your patient's mind wander to the idea of you and the enemy, try and distract him. Put into his mind the cartoons he watched as a child with the devil and angel on each shoulder. Remind him how laughable each of these creatures looked and how absurd that would be in reality.
Your Awesome Brother
-Gilbert
My Awesome Brother-
Things seem calm enough for you, but I cannot help but worry that you are becoming too complacent in your duty.
At any rate, you have passed the first two years with small victories, despite your pitfalls and lapses of judgment. Many, many unawesome moments of judgment.
Should you find yourself in a quandary, please write to this office and they will forward the letter to my address on Earth. It's been some time since I took on a proper human form, and frankly, I'm looking forward to it.
Do not try and find my human address - directing hunters to my location will result poorly for you.
I remain
Your Awesome Brother,
-Gilbert
Notes
--Drawn from The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis