(no subject)
"I don't believe in the existence of Mercy's guiding hand; not with all that I have witnessed, I cannot understand. Forever burdened with the knowledge I could have been so much more. When the truth is hard to suffer, I knew this all before. There is no comfort in faith; the heavens still will fall. A thousand towers rise before me; I cannot climb them all. There's no kind of joy in this. There is no time that it can heal. When emptiness enshadows bliss, there is nothing left to feel. I've not abandoned hope, though I know there is nothing more. Tired and alone, you forget what you had hoped for.
I was never what you wanted. I could never never please. I swallowed all our sorrow in the midst of my disease. All my fortune, all my gains, all the battles I have won, now collapsing like the rain. I stand alone, your only son, take some solace in these words. Take notice of its grace, hollow whispers, laughing now, like the wind upon our face. Just sing softly in my ear, and look at me in wonder. I will try to ease your fear as the darkness pulls you under."
From "Forever" by Brudershcaft
This song has been ringing in my ear for a long time now and I could have done more with my time. I have not, still I think I will start living up to my potential now. I have done the 9 to 5 thing, and it was not so bad until I stuck out my hand to help someone. Someone who later got me fired, so he could take my job. But,it's no matter, his greed will catch up to him in the end. It's still sad though. I feel that I have lost some thing over the last four years, some part of my self. Because I am afraid of everything now. Or was this trip down memory lane I have suffered at the hands of my family, for the last 9 months, helped me find it. I am not afraid anymore. I have looked at myself in the mirror, and while I am not entirely pleased with what I see, I know that it will improve with work.(and not the 9 to 5 kind) I mean deep spiritual meditation and long seeking of universal truths. No more lying to myself or others to spare their feelings. I know my own heart and soul. Though I may not always know my own mind, I will discover it. And I will learn to flow like water in the Wheel of Fortune. I stand in the light and it does not burn me. I stand in the darkness and I am not afraid. Though I do not know my place in this world, I do know and understand the path I have chosen. Believe me, it was my choice, and I think that was what I lost...I lost the memory or feeling, that I chose to do the things I did or do, to go where I went, to be me at any cost. And if someone does or did not agree with or understand my motives, it really does not matter. Because they are mine to know, and I need not answer to anyone but myself and the All God.....
.....And with that statement, I cast my soul and heart into the ever flowing weave of the Web of Life.
"Waves in low tide, sounds of the night, and my memories echo back again. Stranger that I am, in my own land, where no one will remember my name. Time was the force that brought me back on course, and the darkness set fires on a stand. Time is my disguise against hostile seeking eyes, and waves wipe out my footprints in the sand. Now my time has come, returning to the sun, 'cause I've always been searching for you. If I win, if I lose, no charge - no excuse; and all my wandering ensure my aims are true.When you hear me calling, will you be there? When you see me falling, will you be there?"
From "Return" by Deine Lakaien
With love, and perhaps a bit more wisdom, I wish you all peace, so long as it does not give rise to stagnation and apathy.
Your Friend,
Cynath
I was never what you wanted. I could never never please. I swallowed all our sorrow in the midst of my disease. All my fortune, all my gains, all the battles I have won, now collapsing like the rain. I stand alone, your only son, take some solace in these words. Take notice of its grace, hollow whispers, laughing now, like the wind upon our face. Just sing softly in my ear, and look at me in wonder. I will try to ease your fear as the darkness pulls you under."
From "Forever" by Brudershcaft
This song has been ringing in my ear for a long time now and I could have done more with my time. I have not, still I think I will start living up to my potential now. I have done the 9 to 5 thing, and it was not so bad until I stuck out my hand to help someone. Someone who later got me fired, so he could take my job. But,it's no matter, his greed will catch up to him in the end. It's still sad though. I feel that I have lost some thing over the last four years, some part of my self. Because I am afraid of everything now. Or was this trip down memory lane I have suffered at the hands of my family, for the last 9 months, helped me find it. I am not afraid anymore. I have looked at myself in the mirror, and while I am not entirely pleased with what I see, I know that it will improve with work.(and not the 9 to 5 kind) I mean deep spiritual meditation and long seeking of universal truths. No more lying to myself or others to spare their feelings. I know my own heart and soul. Though I may not always know my own mind, I will discover it. And I will learn to flow like water in the Wheel of Fortune. I stand in the light and it does not burn me. I stand in the darkness and I am not afraid. Though I do not know my place in this world, I do know and understand the path I have chosen. Believe me, it was my choice, and I think that was what I lost...I lost the memory or feeling, that I chose to do the things I did or do, to go where I went, to be me at any cost. And if someone does or did not agree with or understand my motives, it really does not matter. Because they are mine to know, and I need not answer to anyone but myself and the All God.....
.....And with that statement, I cast my soul and heart into the ever flowing weave of the Web of Life.
"Waves in low tide, sounds of the night, and my memories echo back again. Stranger that I am, in my own land, where no one will remember my name. Time was the force that brought me back on course, and the darkness set fires on a stand. Time is my disguise against hostile seeking eyes, and waves wipe out my footprints in the sand. Now my time has come, returning to the sun, 'cause I've always been searching for you. If I win, if I lose, no charge - no excuse; and all my wandering ensure my aims are true.When you hear me calling, will you be there? When you see me falling, will you be there?"
From "Return" by Deine Lakaien
With love, and perhaps a bit more wisdom, I wish you all peace, so long as it does not give rise to stagnation and apathy.
Your Friend,
Cynath