So, I must wax corporate…
It has come to my attention that the known universe is shifting toward non-confrontationalism and, thereby, attempting to avoid ownership of said universe’s own shit.
To Explain:
Customer A notifies Support Group A Member (Member A) that there is a problem with a support issue related to Team X’s overall support of Customer A’s group. This particular area of support is identified as Support Group B’s issue type. Member A goes to Manager B and explains the problem. Manager B informs Member A that the B group is aware of the problem and that it is on the LIST of items to fix. Manager B will not commit to what else is officially on the LIST, what the overall timeline for the LIST is, what order or priority Customer A’s issue is on the LIST or a specific commitment to fixing Customer A’s issue within any arbitrary timeline. It is on the LIST…it will be addressed when it is addressed.
Member A is a customer service oriented person. Senior Manager A (not shown) touts loudly in recent meetings about how customer service is a number one priority. Senior Manager A supports the overall support ideal of the LIST and the fact that the LIST priority and communications thereof are not available to Customer A or to any other Customer as a matter of operational process.
Member A enlists Manager A’s wisdom to come to a satisfactory dialogue to give to Customer A. Manager A (and all Manager’s) specifically forbid Members from telling Customers that the LIST is unavailable to them. Also, Member’s must be very careful not to characterize Customer issues with potential failure as this will make the entire Team X look bad (just like communism).
Knowns:
1. Customer A is screwed
2. Manager B cares less
3. Manager A only cares but only about Group A as it applies to Manager A
4. Member A could be in something deep if Member A helps Customer A in any real way
5. Customer A is screwed
Solutions:
1. Member A could follow the teachings of bad 80’s movies and do the right thing for Customer A with no regard for self and, of course, Super Chairman of the Board A will take notice and have Member A put in charge of the whole company because of the shining beacon of light that has been displayed.
2. Member A could give Customer A some non-committal BS and join the ranks of the scum-sucking-communistas surrounding the whole of Team X.
3. Or…
…What I would do:
Go to Manager B and force commitment. Member A should not take it personally in any way that justice is not immediately served here. By the same token, Member A should serve Customer A with an answer. The answer cannot be politically divulging of any Team X incompetence. Member A should ask Manager B what they would tell Customer A. Manager B will state to tell Customer A that the issue is on the LIST (mostly because Manager B won’t have to do this him/herself so there is no pain or direct accountability to Customer A). Member A should then clarify with Manager B, “Ok, no problem, I don’t know if I want to make sure I am following you.” This should be said without any obvious condescension. “Customer A’s issue is on the LIST,” as if taking dictation, “and the issue will be resolved when it is resolved. If they have any questions with this they should contact you, correct?”
Manager B will then respond with one of the following:
1. “I’ll talk to Customer A.” - Member A is off the hook (Gosh thanks kind manager…have a nice day)
2. “They should have no reason to contact me. The problem is on the LIST.” - this is very savvy A-Hole politics using Manager B’s position to imply that it would be unwise for Member A to tell Customer A to contact Manager B without the need to actually say so or take ownership of this situation either. This situation should be followed up with further clarification that Customer A should be told that Manager B should not be contacted. Manager B will make some veiled comment to dodge this statement. Clarification should confirm his new dodge, etc. This is 90% of the fun of corporate politics, right here. If you don’t see this as fun, you are doing it wrong. Leave your emotions at the door.
3. “As a support organization, we have some higher level goals than Customer A’s immediate request. Please assure them that we are working diligently to handle their needs…” -- Ah, the philosophical believer. This Manager B really is an A-Hole. The best approach is o slyly discover whether this person really believes this is the best approach or is just really good at corporate politics. If they believe it, they are the worst case scenario. Either tell Customer A exactly what Manager B said and act dumb when the doodoo hits the fan OR qualify them ad-nauseum until they tire of dealing with you (see #2). If Manager B is simply toeing the party line for typical bureaucratic effect, throw it back in Manager B’s face. “Help me help Customer A. They deserve our best efforts. As a team, I believe we can come up with a solution to give them what they need…” Calls Manager B’s bluff (then refer to1 or 2 as the response comes).
There are many other variations including telling Manager B that you have been instructed, speaking generally, by your Manager A to pass this issue off to Manager B. Could Manager B, please contact Manager A with any concerns. This one precludes any general promotion you saw in your future, however. Slyly getting Customer A to request a conference call with Manager B’s team under the guise that you can help them facilitate is a good one, too, and allows you to bow at the appropriate interval having proven your desire to help Customer A.
Clarification:
“It has come to my attention that the known universe is shifting toward non-confrontationalism and, thereby, attempting to avoid ownership of said universe’s own shit.”
Do Not let the Manager B’s of the world screw your Customer A. Do Not let the Manager B’s of the world disassociate themselves from the mess they have created. Clarify, qualify, re-hash, and smile while doing it.
To Explain:
Customer A notifies Support Group A Member (Member A) that there is a problem with a support issue related to Team X’s overall support of Customer A’s group. This particular area of support is identified as Support Group B’s issue type. Member A goes to Manager B and explains the problem. Manager B informs Member A that the B group is aware of the problem and that it is on the LIST of items to fix. Manager B will not commit to what else is officially on the LIST, what the overall timeline for the LIST is, what order or priority Customer A’s issue is on the LIST or a specific commitment to fixing Customer A’s issue within any arbitrary timeline. It is on the LIST…it will be addressed when it is addressed.
Member A is a customer service oriented person. Senior Manager A (not shown) touts loudly in recent meetings about how customer service is a number one priority. Senior Manager A supports the overall support ideal of the LIST and the fact that the LIST priority and communications thereof are not available to Customer A or to any other Customer as a matter of operational process.
Member A enlists Manager A’s wisdom to come to a satisfactory dialogue to give to Customer A. Manager A (and all Manager’s) specifically forbid Members from telling Customers that the LIST is unavailable to them. Also, Member’s must be very careful not to characterize Customer issues with potential failure as this will make the entire Team X look bad (just like communism).
Knowns:
1. Customer A is screwed
2. Manager B cares less
3. Manager A only cares but only about Group A as it applies to Manager A
4. Member A could be in something deep if Member A helps Customer A in any real way
5. Customer A is screwed
Solutions:
1. Member A could follow the teachings of bad 80’s movies and do the right thing for Customer A with no regard for self and, of course, Super Chairman of the Board A will take notice and have Member A put in charge of the whole company because of the shining beacon of light that has been displayed.
2. Member A could give Customer A some non-committal BS and join the ranks of the scum-sucking-communistas surrounding the whole of Team X.
3. Or…
…What I would do:
Go to Manager B and force commitment. Member A should not take it personally in any way that justice is not immediately served here. By the same token, Member A should serve Customer A with an answer. The answer cannot be politically divulging of any Team X incompetence. Member A should ask Manager B what they would tell Customer A. Manager B will state to tell Customer A that the issue is on the LIST (mostly because Manager B won’t have to do this him/herself so there is no pain or direct accountability to Customer A). Member A should then clarify with Manager B, “Ok, no problem, I don’t know if I want to make sure I am following you.” This should be said without any obvious condescension. “Customer A’s issue is on the LIST,” as if taking dictation, “and the issue will be resolved when it is resolved. If they have any questions with this they should contact you, correct?”
Manager B will then respond with one of the following:
1. “I’ll talk to Customer A.” - Member A is off the hook (Gosh thanks kind manager…have a nice day)
2. “They should have no reason to contact me. The problem is on the LIST.” - this is very savvy A-Hole politics using Manager B’s position to imply that it would be unwise for Member A to tell Customer A to contact Manager B without the need to actually say so or take ownership of this situation either. This situation should be followed up with further clarification that Customer A should be told that Manager B should not be contacted. Manager B will make some veiled comment to dodge this statement. Clarification should confirm his new dodge, etc. This is 90% of the fun of corporate politics, right here. If you don’t see this as fun, you are doing it wrong. Leave your emotions at the door.
3. “As a support organization, we have some higher level goals than Customer A’s immediate request. Please assure them that we are working diligently to handle their needs…” -- Ah, the philosophical believer. This Manager B really is an A-Hole. The best approach is o slyly discover whether this person really believes this is the best approach or is just really good at corporate politics. If they believe it, they are the worst case scenario. Either tell Customer A exactly what Manager B said and act dumb when the doodoo hits the fan OR qualify them ad-nauseum until they tire of dealing with you (see #2). If Manager B is simply toeing the party line for typical bureaucratic effect, throw it back in Manager B’s face. “Help me help Customer A. They deserve our best efforts. As a team, I believe we can come up with a solution to give them what they need…” Calls Manager B’s bluff (then refer to1 or 2 as the response comes).
There are many other variations including telling Manager B that you have been instructed, speaking generally, by your Manager A to pass this issue off to Manager B. Could Manager B, please contact Manager A with any concerns. This one precludes any general promotion you saw in your future, however. Slyly getting Customer A to request a conference call with Manager B’s team under the guise that you can help them facilitate is a good one, too, and allows you to bow at the appropriate interval having proven your desire to help Customer A.
Clarification:
“It has come to my attention that the known universe is shifting toward non-confrontationalism and, thereby, attempting to avoid ownership of said universe’s own shit.”
Do Not let the Manager B’s of the world screw your Customer A. Do Not let the Manager B’s of the world disassociate themselves from the mess they have created. Clarify, qualify, re-hash, and smile while doing it.