I can't stand just talking/journaling to myself.
I need to journal here. J was just one person that thought that I was 'round the bend. Nobody else wanted to have a little chat with me and tell me that my symptoms were heightened. *shrugs* He can think what he wants to think.
Today was weird. I know that I'm hearing impaired and often misunderstand, but one of my friends said that they couldn't hang out today ... and when I called later they weren't where they said they'd be. I really hope that I wasn't lied to. Godknows I have zero minus one friend here, and for that one person... *sighs* It just hurts, all right? And I can't even talk to this person, either, because ... because they will never love me. J tells me that anorexics and people like me often have boyfriends. I guess I'm not one of them.
Since I've led into talking about ana (sorry! been to thinspo sites, they abbreviate there, i mean anorexia), my last Xanga post resulted in two comments related to "be careful". Yeah. Today I took a vitamin. I had two snack bars--are they called energy bars? idk--and some soup that mom made. I'm not fasting. Actually, my calorie counting website says I'm over my limit today...Grr.
Classes.... suck. Today there was a guest speaker, and I was reminded of Vista Health because the 50 y/o woman who looked thirty at least was talking about treatment centers. Then, I had to fake-write up an assessment form on a hypothetical client in abnormal behavior: not so fun. In theories... we're STILL on Freud. When is he going to MOVE ON to another THEORY?
Slagel declined meeting today. He's stressed. It's his gf. Makes me, knowing that, I mean, makes me 100% sure that he'd never EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER date me EVER again. Really? Gonna' be single for life; however, I'd like to point out that, yes, I do realize that some day I just might (get laid! :P) meet a guy that loves me to death.
Have to talk to E tomorrow. Have to explain that I like being Catholic (mom says, which actually is one of her better ideas) to her & that I don't want to go to church with her on Saturday. OH, Saturday: mom and I are going to the The Lightening Thief movie & maybe go out for sushi. I swear, if she bitches at me one tiny bit, I really really really hope that I'm thin that day...because cutting sucks. Did it recently: wait, I think I wrote of it here. Anyway. Because of yoga, it really sucks. You know, the not wearing long sleeves thing.
Oooooooookay. Can't tell if it helped, lol. But at least it's out & not in the Moni-Volcano.
Today was weird. I know that I'm hearing impaired and often misunderstand, but one of my friends said that they couldn't hang out today ... and when I called later they weren't where they said they'd be. I really hope that I wasn't lied to. Godknows I have zero minus one friend here, and for that one person... *sighs* It just hurts, all right? And I can't even talk to this person, either, because ... because they will never love me. J tells me that anorexics and people like me often have boyfriends. I guess I'm not one of them.
Since I've led into talking about ana (sorry! been to thinspo sites, they abbreviate there, i mean anorexia), my last Xanga post resulted in two comments related to "be careful". Yeah. Today I took a vitamin. I had two snack bars--are they called energy bars? idk--and some soup that mom made. I'm not fasting. Actually, my calorie counting website says I'm over my limit today...Grr.
Classes.... suck. Today there was a guest speaker, and I was reminded of Vista Health because the 50 y/o woman who looked thirty at least was talking about treatment centers. Then, I had to fake-write up an assessment form on a hypothetical client in abnormal behavior: not so fun. In theories... we're STILL on Freud. When is he going to MOVE ON to another THEORY?
Slagel declined meeting today. He's stressed. It's his gf. Makes me, knowing that, I mean, makes me 100% sure that he'd never EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER date me EVER again. Really? Gonna' be single for life; however, I'd like to point out that, yes, I do realize that some day I just might (get laid! :P) meet a guy that loves me to death.
Have to talk to E tomorrow. Have to explain that I like being Catholic (mom says, which actually is one of her better ideas) to her & that I don't want to go to church with her on Saturday. OH, Saturday: mom and I are going to the The Lightening Thief movie & maybe go out for sushi. I swear, if she bitches at me one tiny bit, I really really really hope that I'm thin that day...because cutting sucks. Did it recently: wait, I think I wrote of it here. Anyway. Because of yoga, it really sucks. You know, the not wearing long sleeves thing.
Oooooooookay. Can't tell if it helped, lol. But at least it's out & not in the Moni-Volcano.