Unorganized
That goes for this post, and in a lot of ways, my life. So bear with me on both counts.
I'm writing this post starting at about 12:30, even though it says 11:59 - I just wanted to fit it in on the 1st, so I signed in before midnight.
The semester is over. I'm glad for that. I got grades that were probably more than I deserved, but I'll deal with it. And other than driving home from a party this morning, I haven't been to Cortland or made that drive since. I was under a lot of pressure toward the end of the semester, but I got through, somehow.
I feel like I've let a lot of people down. Especially at school, I was less reliable on projects than I should have been, and I feel bad about that. But also in general, I feel like I've been reclusive, distant, and sometimes just so lazy that it lets people down. That is not good. Materialistic and selfish - I feel that way a lot. And once in a while I'll do something nice for someone and think I'm being such a good person, but really, does that make me a good person? Aren't I a good person anyway? I think so. And sometimes I don't think so. I'm conflicted, a lot.
This summer I'm thinking of trying to get an internship at the National Soccer Hall of Fame. I'd like that. I've worked in a museum before, and I like organizing tournaments. And Saturday I ref my first two games in a long, long time... hopefully I'm in shape enough to deal with U16 and U19 boys.
Ugggh my weight is really bothering me. I'm trying to find the motivation to lose weight before it really affects my health, but it's hard. A lot of things are hard, and I'm not always good at doing them. And that was probably the most vague sentence ever.
In a lot of ways, I was hoping this would be a really big, really intense post. But it's not that different than most of my other ones. Life is good overall, it's really good. Jamie's here right now, I just spent some days visiting her which were wonderful, and now she's here until Friday. I'm really happy with her - she's a wonderful person.
I'm looking to get an apartment in Cortland... I'm looking at one this Friday. Hopefully it works out and I can move in right after the semester starts - I feel like I need a certain level of individual freedom back which it's hard to get living at home. Not that I have any problems with my parents, things are great. My dad's surgery is coming up in a couple of weeks and we're all looking forward to that. And we got a DVR recently, which is bitching.
I've seen good movies lately. Sweeney Todd, National Treasure: Book of Secrets (not as good as the original), and Juno. I like movies. Sometimes I miss doing all the TV stuff at MCC. I still have no idea what to do with my life.
My room is just as unorganized as this post.
I miss my friends - high school friends, Rochester friends, MCC friends, other friends. I feel like I only see about 6 friends, and though they're great friends... I just miss other ones. I saw Ashley and Tim yesterday for the first time since my birthday, and it was great... they're a lot of fun. I went to visit Katie up in the Adirondacks Thursday before I went to Jamie's, and that was really good too, and in a town smaller than Candor even - all sorts of people I need to see more of. I saw Micha in Boston with Jamie this weekend.. that was good.
I hate driving in bad weather. Thursday was a blizzard. I hated it. I get paranoid. Legitimately paranoid. Freaked out, especially if it's at night. Messed up, I know.
The Cheesy Gordita Crunch is back at Taco Bell. It's delicious.
It's a leap year. I like that. Extra time... extra time.
I've never been one much for New Year's Resolutions, but I think that it's not a bad time to start making your life better. So that's what I'm hoping to do. And to everyone in my life... thanks for your part in it.
I'm writing this post starting at about 12:30, even though it says 11:59 - I just wanted to fit it in on the 1st, so I signed in before midnight.
The semester is over. I'm glad for that. I got grades that were probably more than I deserved, but I'll deal with it. And other than driving home from a party this morning, I haven't been to Cortland or made that drive since. I was under a lot of pressure toward the end of the semester, but I got through, somehow.
I feel like I've let a lot of people down. Especially at school, I was less reliable on projects than I should have been, and I feel bad about that. But also in general, I feel like I've been reclusive, distant, and sometimes just so lazy that it lets people down. That is not good. Materialistic and selfish - I feel that way a lot. And once in a while I'll do something nice for someone and think I'm being such a good person, but really, does that make me a good person? Aren't I a good person anyway? I think so. And sometimes I don't think so. I'm conflicted, a lot.
This summer I'm thinking of trying to get an internship at the National Soccer Hall of Fame. I'd like that. I've worked in a museum before, and I like organizing tournaments. And Saturday I ref my first two games in a long, long time... hopefully I'm in shape enough to deal with U16 and U19 boys.
Ugggh my weight is really bothering me. I'm trying to find the motivation to lose weight before it really affects my health, but it's hard. A lot of things are hard, and I'm not always good at doing them. And that was probably the most vague sentence ever.
In a lot of ways, I was hoping this would be a really big, really intense post. But it's not that different than most of my other ones. Life is good overall, it's really good. Jamie's here right now, I just spent some days visiting her which were wonderful, and now she's here until Friday. I'm really happy with her - she's a wonderful person.
I'm looking to get an apartment in Cortland... I'm looking at one this Friday. Hopefully it works out and I can move in right after the semester starts - I feel like I need a certain level of individual freedom back which it's hard to get living at home. Not that I have any problems with my parents, things are great. My dad's surgery is coming up in a couple of weeks and we're all looking forward to that. And we got a DVR recently, which is bitching.
I've seen good movies lately. Sweeney Todd, National Treasure: Book of Secrets (not as good as the original), and Juno. I like movies. Sometimes I miss doing all the TV stuff at MCC. I still have no idea what to do with my life.
My room is just as unorganized as this post.
I miss my friends - high school friends, Rochester friends, MCC friends, other friends. I feel like I only see about 6 friends, and though they're great friends... I just miss other ones. I saw Ashley and Tim yesterday for the first time since my birthday, and it was great... they're a lot of fun. I went to visit Katie up in the Adirondacks Thursday before I went to Jamie's, and that was really good too, and in a town smaller than Candor even - all sorts of people I need to see more of. I saw Micha in Boston with Jamie this weekend.. that was good.
I hate driving in bad weather. Thursday was a blizzard. I hated it. I get paranoid. Legitimately paranoid. Freaked out, especially if it's at night. Messed up, I know.
The Cheesy Gordita Crunch is back at Taco Bell. It's delicious.
It's a leap year. I like that. Extra time... extra time.
I've never been one much for New Year's Resolutions, but I think that it's not a bad time to start making your life better. So that's what I'm hoping to do. And to everyone in my life... thanks for your part in it.