(no subject)
Character: Mojo Jojo
Series: The Powerpuff Girls
Character Age: Adult! ... For a monkey.
Job: Head of Department of Redundancy Department
Canon: Sugar! Spice! And everything nice! These were the ingredients Professor Utonium used to create the three perfect little girls. ... That, and the toxic Chemical X, which gave them superpowers. Thus, the duty of saving the ridiculously monster infested city of Townsville from destruction came to rest on the shoulders of a trio of kindergartners (the "Powerpuff Girls"), who are more than happy to punch, kick, and bite their way to a safer tomorrow.
Mojo Jojo is Townsville's resident evil monkey, and just one of many villains the Powerpuff Girls regularly beat into a weeping pulp. Mojo's goal is to destroy the girls and take over the world--but he's also a fan of other typical bad guy pursuits, like robbing banks, turning people into dogs, building giant lasers, collecting fine art, sharpening his skills as a hibachi chef, and taking himself way too seriously. Mojo Jojo is prone to long winded speeches (or running narratives, when he's alone) that are not only tedious, but incredibly repetitive. Grumpy, sarcastic, and egotistical, Mojo is a self-proclaimed "bad monkey" who takes pride in his role as a villain. While he's a super genius with a mutated, oversized brain to prove it, he tends to overlook obvious loopholes in his complicated plans. Unfortunately for him, the Powerpuff Girls aren't stupid, and Mojo's exploits most often end in bumps, bruises, and plenty of jail time.
Sample Post:
Greetings, citizens of Camp! I am Mojo Jojo, and this swamp now belongs to me! Which is to say, I own the land on which you are standing, and therefore you must obey me! Mojo Jojo!
Some of you may perhaps be wondering, why meeee? Why heeeere? And other such whiny things! First, I would like to say, quit your complaining! It is pathetic and will get you nowhere! My mind is made up! I have made my decision, and it is final, and there is nothing you can say that will change it! Secondly, completely unrelated to any events involving superheroes and prison whatsoever, I have a few community service hours to take care of, and my therapist suggested that perhaps a visit to the countryside would help my temper.
Now, a little toucan told me that you already have a local villain! But there's nothing wrong with a little unfriendly competition. Not that it can be called a competition when I, Mojo Jojo, am clearly the winner! Your "Director" stands no chance! I am top dog! A veteran! She is just a little baby, crying and sucking her thumb! Mwahahaha!
Listen to my malicious, destructive, and no-good plan! Hear its brilliance for yourself, and know that there is no hope for you! Or you! Or even you! First, I will construct a barrier! An obstacle that makes escaping impossible, inconceivable, and furthermore, right-out! But not just any barrier, because I am not just any evil villain! This barrier will be at the forefront of technology! Yesss, it will be sleek, stylish, and strike when you least expect it! And that is just a bite-sized sample of the dastardly deeds I have in store for this swamp. My blueprints are laminated and filed alphabetically, my vision is perfect, and my schemes will definitely succeed! They cannot fail, for I have planned for this moment extensively, and--
What is this? A delivery? For me? Oh, thank you. "Camp Newsletter"--I like the font they have chosen for the title, that is very aesthetically pleasing. But this monthly announcement to keep the masses informed with informative announcements is NONSENSE! There's already a barrier!? That rotten woman, that was my idea! And purple monkeys!? My fur has a purple-ish tinge, she copied me! The volcano, the evil robot cows, the caves full of scary things that will terrify and grab you--!! No, no, no! There is no way! It is impossible! No one can outsmart Mojo Jojo! --Ha! But she has not anticipated the most evil step in my evilest plan yet! The baddest of bad dudes would wet themselves if it appeared to them in a nightmare, or really bad dream, or some other sleep-related vision! In the depths of the lake, below the annoying splashing and frolicking and infernal laughter of unsuspecting children, I will put a creature so evil, so fast and grabby that--what's this? "The Life and Times of Marcy the Lake Monster, an opinion column by Marcy, the Lake Monster."
... Oh, she's good.
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