what am i doing and what am i gonna do?
ive been sitting here contimplating what to do with my life. im not sure why im wasting all this time. i thought it was fear at first but now im not so sure. i have also been thinking about ,believe it or not, marriage. im not sure if i should ask this girl to marry me or if i should try to move on with my life and find someone else who will mean as much to me. if i do decide on marriage then, how will i live? i have no means of aquiring money because im jobless. i want a job and people tell me to get one but they dont understand that i want a job i can be proud to speak of. how do you embelish a job at mcdonalds? or at some other store. you really cant. i need me a job like some of my friends have, at an office. something i can be proud of. i guess this explains the recent depression ive been feeling but can that really be all? i mean those are big problems but thats not the extent of it, i think. i want to move out but again i have no means in which to do it. my car is dead so ic ant exactly run away or just leave for the day. i feel like i am wasting my life just by being here. im not sure what i can do. i need help but moral support from family is out the window. my head hurts and im feeling a bit of nausea so im gonna end it here.